Promise of Hunters Ridge

by Sarah Barrie

  Damn it! ‘What time?’

  If she’d been worried Ben would turn up, she needn’t have been. They were most of the way through lunch before Indy so much as mentioned his name. When she did, she put down her fork and gave Mia her full attention.

  ‘I know Ben didn’t explain why he did what he did, but he did it to save your butt.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Mia said.

  ‘Honestly, you’re as bad as each other!’

  ‘I want to know,’ Ally said.

  Mia scowled at Ally, but her sister wasn’t paying attention. She was waiting for Indy to explain.

  ‘The only way to stay on the case and prove Mia was innocent was to charge her and therefore buy some time. The inspector basically ordered it.’

  ‘Can he do that?’ Ally asked.

  ‘No, not officially, but there were other forces at work. Ben could have fought it, but he had to be smart, because Stuart was mouthing off about Ben and Mia having a personal relationship to his commissioner uncle and the inspector was copping flack. Ben basically had to prove his impartiality, or control over the case would have turned to Russ. And while we didn’t know the real reason for it at the time, Russ wanted Mia locked up.’

  ‘What was the real reason?’ Ally asked.

  ‘Russ was working with Rob. Had been since those first two girls went missing from Hunters Ridge.’

  ‘What?’ It slipped out before Mia realised she’d spoken.

  ‘Ben threatened to quit. I want you to think about that for a minute. Ben Bowden threatened to stop being a detective. For you. But he couldn’t. If he’d walked away, you would have gone to prison for decades. So yes, he charged you, but he never believed it. Not for a second. That miracle he pulled off for you was Ben Bowden at his most motivated. Because he cares, more than I’ve seen him care about anything.’

  The food lodged in her throat. She choked it down. She didn’t want to hear this, couldn’t deal with it.

  ‘Mia?’

  ‘He did a good job. He never loses a case, right? I have things to do. I’ve got to go. Thanks for lunch.’ She got abruptly to her feet.

  Outside, she gulped in two quick breaths. She’d hated him for so long, then she’d fallen in love with him, only to believe she’d been a fool—and convinced herself to hate him again. Now this? What the hell was she supposed to do with this?

  She went home and pushed herself through a session on the cross trainer; she was breathing hard, but not ready to quit. She didn’t want to keep going over what Indy had said but she couldn’t help it. She’d talked herself out of feeling anything for Ben, had blocked off that part of her heart. That was that. But if Indy was right, he didn’t deserve what she’d thrown at him. She’d thrown away something incredible. Emotions choked her, but she refused to give in to them. She stopped the machine, started on the weights.

  And then she heard a car. She checked out the window, noticing the police car was disappearing down the driveway as Indy stepped onto the veranda. Being sociable was the last thing on Mia’s mind.

  With a curse, she opened the door. ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘I came to see how you were doing.’

  ‘I’m fine. As you can see, just like I was an hour ago.’

  ‘Is that what I see? I’m not so sure. I have to wonder if you’re coping as well as you’re making out.’

  Mia shrugged. ‘All good.’

  ‘Either way, we’re having trouble keeping a unit out here every night. I’m crashing here for the time being.’

  ‘I don’t have a spare room.’

  ‘Couch will do.’ She stepped around Mia and dumped her bag on it with a thud.

  ‘Indy …’

  ‘It’s this or drag you into town. Unless you want me to pull the other unit off Cam and Ally’s place?’

  ‘No, of course not.’ Mia threw up her hands in defeat. She knew she should be grateful but she didn’t want someone underfoot. ‘I have a run to do.’

  Much later, Mia tossed and turned in bed, furious that yet again she couldn’t sleep despite being tired. He should have told her himself. He’d managed to fit in plenty of other conversation before she’d walked away from him—both times. But perhaps he’d expected she would have had enough faith in him to hear him out. Perhaps he’d deserved a bit more of an opportunity to explain.

  When tears threatened she blinked them back angrily. Damn it, if it wasn’t for Rob, she could think clearly, would stop being angry all the time, stop snapping at her friends, maybe even try to fix this thing with Ben. Be able to get some sleep. But if she didn’t concentrate, if she didn’t give this one hundred percent, she wouldn’t be ready. If she didn’t keep her hard shell she wouldn’t be able to do it. Because no matter how many times she told herself she could—would—kill him, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to be a murderer. If nothing else, the last couple of weeks had well and truly brought that home. She only wanted all this to end. Once and for all.

  She tried another position, turned again. Her head was aching, so she tossed off the covers and went out to get some painkillers. Fumbling in the dark—because she didn’t want to wake her uninvited houseguest—she dropped them, then knocked over most of everything on the bench in the process of bending down to find them.

  As she got a hand on the pills the light flicked on. She squinted her eyes against the sudden brightness as her headache sharpened. ‘Damn it, Indy, what are you doing?’

  ‘Wondering what you’re doing. It’s three in the morning.’

  ‘Just getting some water.’ She tossed the tablets in her mouth and swallowed them down.

  Indy leant against the wall and folded her arms. ‘Headache?’

  ‘It’s nothing.’

  ‘Headaches, insomnia, mood swings, compulsions … I don’t think I’d call that nothing.’

  ‘Who said anything about the other three?’ she grumbled.

  ‘Being that you tossed and turned until after midnight, then again for a good half-hour before you got up just now, I don’t think you want to argue about the insomnia.’

  And a lecture was going to make it better? ‘You invited yourself here, remember? If I’m keeping you up, you can leave at any time.’

  ‘And now that you’re awake, it will be time to get on the exercise equipment shortly, won’t it? Because if you don’t, you won’t know what to do with yourself, and not working out will make you anxious.’

  Mia stared hard at her friend while the temper that had already spiked threatened to hit another level. ‘I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but I don’t need this, okay?’

  ‘Hmm … and now you’re angry. I bet you get angry a lot, huh? Even at nothing in particular?’

  ‘You’re not nothing in particular,’ Mia snapped. ‘And I don’t need some Ben Bowden protégée in here telling me she knows more about me than I do.’

  Indy smirked, then her gaze softened. ‘You should know enough about post-traumatic stress disorder from your sister to recognise the symptoms.’

  ‘I know enough to know I don’t have it!’

  ‘You may or may not be right. Psychological trauma can manifest in loads of different ways. There’s plenty of different labels. What’s important is that you manage the symptoms. Because you’ve got the symptoms. Rob will come back. We both know it. You need to be at your best, and this is not your best. You won’t beat him like this.’

  That stung. What more could she possibly do? She narrowed her eyes, her tone an icy reflection of her mood. ‘Like what, exactly?’

  ‘Oh Mia, you don’t scare me. We need to have a talk. And as we’re both awake at three am it may as well be now. Sit down.’

  Mia slammed the painkillers back on the shelf. ‘Don’t manage me!’

  ‘I’ll manage you all I like. You obviously need someone to.’

  ‘This whole conversation is ridiculous. I’m going back to bed.’

  ‘That’d be right,’ Indy scoffed and walked back into the lounge room.
>
  Mia followed, primed for an argument. ‘What did you say?’

  ‘You’ve spent so much time and energy proving to everyone how indomitable you are you’ve got yourself trapped in that façade. You can’t ask for help. I don’t even think you remember how to. It’s become so important to you that everyone believe you can handle anything that now you feel like you have to handle everything. When people try to help—like Ben did, like I’m doing now—you don’t just push them away, you slam the door in their face. Your own ego is more of a threat to your safety than that monster out there.’

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘No? How about this one: no one believes it anymore. You’ve stuffed up your image by trying too hard to defend it. Everyone’s worried, no one’s sure you can handle anything.’

  ‘What the hell gives you the right to—I’m doing just fine! Better without a houseguest.’ The anger was justified but not the strength of it. It was overwhelming.

  Indy studied her, then looked around and cleared the floor. ‘Hard to hear, isn’t it? But it’s true.’ She pushed the lounge back against the wall.

  ‘Stop rearranging my furniture! What is wrong with you?’

  ‘Get over it, because here’s another one … You’re deliberately punishing Ben even though deep down you know he’s gone above and beyond to help you, and you damn well know how he feels about you. And this Mia, the one I’m looking at now, doesn’t deserve him. So I’m glad you slammed that door in his face. He can do so much better than a miserable, self-destructive—’

  Mia strode purposefully in Indy’s direction.

  ‘Yes? What are you going to do about it?’ Indy said.

  She had no idea. Seeing red wasn’t just a clichéd metaphor, it was a fact. She wanted to wrap her hands around Indy’s throat.

  Indy kept pushing. ‘You really think you have any chance against Rob? What are you going to do, ask him to lower his knife while you nurse a self-inflicted headache? You’re exercising into next week but you’re not taking care of yourself. Rob’s a sadistic bastard but he’s also very smart. All the biceps in the world won’t help you think. And if you can’t control your emotions, he’s got you.’

  ‘He won’t get me!’

  ‘No? Get your arse on this square of carpet and pretend I’m Rob. Let’s see how good you actually are.’

  ‘Damn it, Indy, you want me to fight you?’

  ‘You couldn’t fight a senior citizen.’

  ‘Don’t bet on it.’

  She smirked. ‘Well, the glare still works. Maybe Rob will run away crying.’

  ‘God, would you stop! I can handle Rob! Just like I can handle you. I don’t need help.’

  Mia turned on her heel, and Indy lunged and dropped her on her back in one quick move.

  Winded, Mia took a moment, then swung up to her feet. ‘What was that?’ She shoved Indy back. Indy tripped her, and she landed again with a thud on the floor.

  ‘You’re not doing so well, Mia. And I’m half Rob’s weight. Get up.’

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to, but she rolled into a sitting position and rested her elbows on her crossed legs. Tears stung the back of her eyes again. She was stronger than this. Wasn’t she?

  Indy crouched in front of her. ‘You have more than enough strength to beat me, but you don’t know how. You want to, though, don’t you? Tell me there hasn’t been a little voice in your head lately telling you to lash out at everyone. I know it’s there, I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like. I used to think, “They don’t get it, they don’t understand.” All you want to do is focus on keeping yourself going and everyone’s nagging and lecturing and interfering. A part of you feels guilty because you know they mean well but they drive you insane.’

  Mia got the rest of the way to her feet. ‘Fine, okay, you’re right. So what?’

  ‘So ending this isn’t going to be a one-person operation. You need to think about that. Go back to bed, nurse that headache. We’ll talk about it again in the morning.’

  CHAPTER

  28

  Mia gave up on sleep at five and quietly stepped out onto the veranda to sit. Jasper clicked past on the decking, went out onto the grass, then came back to lean against her leg.

  What had gotten into her last night? Indy had just about talked her into wanting to kill her. Who was she turning into?

  ‘Morning.’

  Mia jumped at Indy’s greeting. Jasper got up for a pat and wagged his tail. Indy gave him one and sat in the other free seat.

  ‘Did you end up getting any more sleep?’

  ‘A bit. Look, I don’t know what got into me last night. I’m sorry.’

  Indy was anything but peeved—her smile was high watt. ‘Don’t be. I’m good at pushing buttons. But I did it for a reason. You need to accept some help.’

  ‘I’ve been doing okay—fine. It’s just that after the shootings …’

  Indy nodded. ‘You’re so desperate for this thing with Rob to be over that it’s all you’ve been able to think about. Then all the rest of it blew up in your face and it just pushed you that bit too far. But you need to pull yourself back.’

  ‘I will. Do you want a coffee? I’ll make one then I’m going for a run.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Indy followed her inside as Mia started on the coffee. ‘But how about instead of the run and equipment, we try something different?’

  Mia closed her eyes briefly and hoped she wasn’t going to end up wanting to kill Indy again. ‘I suppose this is where you tell me you have a better idea?’

  ‘We could do some targeted drills. I’ll show you some techniques that will make you feel more confident about handling yourself.’

  ‘I did self-defence classes.’

  ‘You didn’t do them with me.’

  Mia put mugs and milk on the bench. ‘Rob got you.’

  ‘Yeah and he got you twice. I’m still winning. If he hits you with that taser he’ll get you again. But if you have one chance, just one to get away, you’re going to want to know what to do with it. So, do you want to train?’

  ‘Why not? But I’m still doing my run.’

  Indy groaned. ‘Better make that coffee with an extra shot. Got anything for breakfast?’

  ‘There’s some muesli.’

  Indy screwed up her nose and looked in the fridge. ‘How old are these eggs?’

  ‘Ally put them in there the other day.’

  ‘I’ll make omelettes. Can I use some of this cheese and a tomato?’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Okay. Eggs and coffee. Then we’ll start.’

  Mia ate a meal twice as large as she would normally have tackled at that hour of the morning, then after a short run, spent way too long getting her butt kicked.

  ‘I’m starting to understand why Rob went straight for the taser,’ Mia complained.

  ‘Try again,’ Indy ordered.

  She did, with marginally more success. Then she noticed the time. ‘I should go feed the horses. It’s getting past their breakfast time.’

  ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘I kept you up half the night, then you got up early again for me. Go have a rest.’

  ‘Nah. I’m used to surviving on not much sleep, and I need to cool down.’ She grinned at Mia. ‘You look more stuffed than me.’

  ‘An hour on the equipment has nothing on half that sparring with you.’

  ‘That’s good. Right? Let’s go.’

  They walked over together, Jasper trotting ahead. ‘How did you get me that pissed off last night?’

  Indy grinned at her. ‘Pissing people off is my specialty.’

  ‘You said you knew what it felt like.’

  ‘As you’ve probably guessed from our earlier discussion, I’ve had my fair share of shit to deal with.’

  ‘Is that why you came to Australia?’

  ‘Yeah. I was still running from all that when Ben found me.’

  ‘Has there ever been anything … between you and Ben? I know I shoul
dn’t ask, but you bounce off each other so well and you obviously care about him.’

  She shrugged. ‘He saved me.’ Then she smiled. ‘But no, nothing romantic. Which is probably why we have such a smooth friendship. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I really wish you’d just talk to him.’

  ‘I don’t know if I can. I’m not even sure he’d still want to have that conversation.’

  Indy stopped and put a hand on her arm. ‘I am. There’s one more thing you need to know about what happened. Ben was so furious and hurt when he discovered Russ was behind everything that he charged into the station and pulled his gun on him. You asked me why I was upset that day. It was because after Ben proved Russ’s involvement, and Russ had admitted it, Ben lowered his gun, but Russ picked up his. He blew his head off in front of everyone. He did that because he didn’t want to go to prison, but Ben somehow believes that it’s at least partly his fault.

  ‘He hasn’t exactly come out and said it, and he’d kill me if he found out I was talking to you about this, but I know he thinks if he’d handled the situation differently, if he hadn’t gotten so emotional about it, Russ might not have ended up dead. And he’s worried, Mia. If he lets his emotions get in the way of this and doesn’t handle all this properly, he’s worried you’ll end up dead too.’

  Hearing all this only made her feel worse. ‘If I end up dead it won’t be his fault. I’ve already told him I’m not his responsibility.’

  They arrived at the feed shed and she moved straight into mixing feeds. A quick glance at Indy revealed she was completely perplexed by the different bins and scoop sizes.

  ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘This may be a bit more complicated than I thought.’

  ‘There’s a list on the wall.’ Mia pointed to it. ‘Horses’ names with corresponding buckets and feeds as listed. You can see that, other than the pony feeds being smaller, most are the same.’

  ‘Yeah, but what is lucerne chaff and how is it different to oaten chaff? And this stuff that looks like muesli, what’s that correspond to on the board? Are all those supplements on that table legal?’

  Some of the tension Mia was feeling from their earlier conversation lifted and she found herself grinning. ‘I’ll mix.’