“Hey, is AJ feeling all right?” she asked before I could even say hello.
“He’s fine.” I scoffed. “I mean, he’s not talking to me, but he’s fine.”
“Oh,” she said. “He told Scott he wasn’t going to make it over tonight. Everything okay?”
“Well,” I sighed, “he’s not talking to me, so I can’t bring him over,” I said, knowing very well how petty I sounded.
“Why not?” Her voice grew an octave. “Your son loves you.” She laughed. “I mean, my daughter hates me eighty-nine percent of the time, so she never talks to me, which I totally get. It’s those girl hormones that suck. I never talked to my mother either.”
“Luke and I broke up,” I said in a low, calm voice. I needed to yank the Band-Aid and tell her what happened.
“I’ve been rambling about my pre-teen daughter who doesn’t speak to me, and all the while you had this card in your back pocket?” She scoffed with annoyance. “When I asked why AJ wasn’t coming over, why didn’t you lead with because I broke up with Luke?”
I shook my head. “AJ isn’t going over because Luke and I broke up, and now he hates me.”
Her voice changed to a softer tone as she asked, “Are you okay?”
My eyes filled with tears once again. I couldn’t seem to stop the endless flow. “Not really,” I admitted. “I’m not okay.” My voice cracked. “Not one bit.”
“Do you want me to come over? I can bring wine and Chinese takeout?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Do you want to go slash his tires?” She laughed. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
I could always count on Laura to pick me up when I was completely down. I laughed and closed my eyes, imagining the two of us rushing over to Luke’s house to slash his tires in the middle of the night. “No, he doesn’t deserve that.”
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”
“Yeah, in time.” I nodded. “Right now, I just want to binge eat and watch TV while hugging a pint of ice cream.”
“I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks, love.”
After I hung up the phone with Laura, I decided I’d had enough of Ted and Robin and headed to bed. My mind kept drifting to Luke, and the quicker I shut it off, the less pain I would be in.
I walked down the hallway, stopping at AJ’s room. I put my hand to his door and contemplated going in. He was mad, and his anger was warranted. He had been looking forward to this trip for a very long time. And now, not only was Luke not going with him on the trip, he wasn’t going himself. I understood his frustration. I only hoped that one day he’d understand why I needed to push Luke away.
I closed my eyes and rested my hand on the wooden door, hoping for a better tomorrow. I softly wished him good night before continuing to my room.
22
Present
I couldn’t remember the last time I slept so long.
For the first time in days, I felt refreshed. Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head and pointed my toes until all my joints ached. The sun was up, and from the light coming in through the curtains, I knew I had overslept. I assumed AJ was still upset since he had not barged into my room like he did every other Saturday morning.
Wiping the sleep off my face, I rolled over and looked at the time. “Crap.” It was almost ten in the morning. Was there baseball today? No, they had rescheduled it, right? I stretched my arms over my head. For sure AJ was up and probably halfway through a box of sugary cereal. I stood and grabbed my robe, draping it over my body and tying the knot at my waist. After a quick stop in the restroom to wash my face, I walked into the living room.
“AJ, why didn’t you wake me?” I said and covered my mouth from yet another yawn. Oversleeping always made me even more tired.
My eyes quickly scanned the living room. Everything was how I left it last night. “AJ?” I called out again. This time there was a bit of hesitation in my voice. Deep in my gut I felt something was off.
“AJ!” I bellowed.
My heart raced a mile a minute and a chill ran up my spine—mother’s intuition. I ran through the kitchen and into the dining room “AJ!” I shouted as I continued down the hallway to his bedroom. I shoved the door open and my heart sank when I saw he wasn’t in his room.
“AJ?” My voice cracked, and I ran my hand through my hair. “AJ, this isn’t funny!” My vision blurred. “Where are you?” I could feel the pounding of my heart in my ears. Anxiety crept into my bones, and a familiar feeling overtook my body.
I had lost him once before when we first left Georgia. We were in a supermarket near West Virginia and I couldn’t decide which flavor of yogurt I wanted to buy. We’d only stopped for a quick second so there was no need for a cart. I reached over for the strawberry yogurt, and in the three seconds it took to put it into my basket, AJ was gone. He was gone for over ten minutes, and it was the worst ten minutes of my life. He was three years old, and I understood every word he said, but most adults thought he was mumbling. The thought of him not being able to communicate horrified me. I remember running up the aisles screaming his name. When I finally did find him, he was with a cashier. He had a smile on his face and a balloon string curled around his little hand. The memory of that fear resonated in my body again. This time, however, I couldn’t find him in my own house.
I ran back into the kitchen, but there was no sign of him. I rushed to the sliding back door and heaved it open. He knew not to go outside unsupervised. “AJ!” I called out.
Nothing.
No response.
Not a single peep.
I stepped out and hurried across the deck. He wasn’t on the playground; he wasn’t anywhere in the backyard. The cool grass tickled my toes as I rushed to the edge of our property line and looked over the lake. He wasn’t there either.
“Where are you?” I said under my breath.
I darted out to the street, barefoot and in my robe. All looked calm. “AJ!” I shouted out again. Still, no sign of him.
Desperate to find him, I ran to my neighbor’s house. First, I knocked on Mrs. Jensen’s front door. I balled my hand into a tight fist and banged repeatedly. The older woman pulled open her door, confusion spread across her face.
“Have you seen AJ?” I asked her before she had a chance to open the screen door. “I can’t find him anywhere. Have you seen him?” I wasn’t crying, but tears filled with fear dripped down my face.
“No,” she said sweetly. “Do you want to come inside? You don’t look so good, sweetie.”
“No, I don’t want to come inside. My child is missing!” Mrs. Jensen was, by far, one of the sweetest women I knew, but mama bear had lost her cub.
I turned around and ran down the three steps from Mrs. Jensen’s front door. I sprinted across the street to Eloise’s house and banged on her door until she opened it. Eloise looked at me with a shocked face.
“AJ is missing. Have you seen him?” This time I was crying.
“No,” Eloise responded, and followed behind me.
Like a mad woman standing in the middle of the street, I shouted for him. “AJ! AJ! Where are you, AJ?” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I spun in circles, lost in my own fear. My child was missing.
Eloise placed her hand on my shoulder and tried to calm me. “Maybe he went to a friend’s house,” she said in a low voice.
My breath came out irregular. I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around a reason AJ would run away. I knew he was upset with me, but he’d never behaved like this in the past.
It felt as if I was moving at a rapid speed as I ran back home and dialed Laura. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I said as the phone rang in my ear.
“Hey,” she answered on the second ring.
“Is AJ there?” I blurted out.
“What?”
“I woke up this morning and AJ was gone. Is he there, Laura?” My voice grew loud with hysteria. “Please tell me he’s there!”
“It’s
okay,” she said into the phone.
“Don’t tell me it’s fucking okay. He’s gone!” I cried out. A soft hand touched my shoulder, and I looked back to find both Mrs. Jensen and Eloise inside my bedroom.
“Scott!” Laura bellowed, and I could hear her running through her house. “Where’s AJ?”
I waited on bated breath as I heard mumbling on the other side of the phone. “Laura, please tell me he’s there.” I massaged my scalp with my free hand. “We got into a fight last night, and when I woke up this morning he was gone.”
“Scott hasn’t heard from him,” she said, and I dropped to my knees on my bedroom floor. I hit the ground with a loud thud.
“Where is he?” I sobbed into the phone.
“I’m on my way now,” Laura said in calm voice. “Call the cops, report that he’s missing. Okay?”
“Okay,” I muttered. The line went dead, and the phone slipped from my hands.
“It’ll be okay,” Mrs. Jensen said. “We’ll find him.” I looked up at her and nodded though my heart was breaking. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I feared the worst. She had been here the day the cops rang my doorbell to notify me about Bruce. She had been at Bruce’s funeral. And for two weeks after Bruce’s death, she brought me dinner. She had a heart of gold, but there wasn’t anything she could say right now that would calm me down.
I wiped away my tears and looked down at the black screen on my phone. Tapping the three digits, I brought it to my ear.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“Hi.” I swallowed back against my closing throat. “I need to report a missing child,” I said softly.
* * *
“When did you last see him?” the officer asked.
Alistair sat next to me, and Sue placed a cup of tea in front of me. I called them right after I made the call to the police. The dispatcher instructed me to call all my relatives and anyone he could’ve gone to, so I did. No one had seen him.
I blinked away tears and looked at the officer. His arms were large, and his blue uniform laced around his bicep in a vice grip. Though he looked mean, he spoke in a soft, caring tone.
“It was last night.” I cleared my throat. “He went to bed around eight-thirty.” I remembered how I stopped at his bedroom door. I’d wanted to go in but chose not to. Was he already gone?
Random police officers walked in and out with canines smelling AJ’s belongings. Various neighbors offered their support while Laura barked orders at everyone to look for AJ. Chatter that AJ was missing had spread like wildfire.
“Does he run away often?” the officer asked.
“No.” I shook my head. “He’s never done this before. He’s never left my side” My voice cracked.
“Is there anyone else that he may have gone to? An aunt or uncle, a friend?”
“She’s called everyone,” my father-in-law said. I could see from the corner of my eye that my mother-in-law was crying. I swallowed the tightness in my throat and looked over at Laura. She gave me a small smile. There was one person I hadn’t called.
“There is one.” I picked up my phone. With a shaky hand, I swiped against the screen and pulled up my contact list. I scrolled down until I found Luke’s name, and hit the call button.
The phone rang three times before he answered. “Hey, Steph,” he said, and I closed my eyes. The sound of his voice made me miss him. “Is everything okay?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.
“Have you heard from AJ?” My voice cracked as I said his name.
“No. Why?”
“I woke up this morning and he was gone.” I sniffled.
“Gone?”
“Yeah, he wasn’t in his room or anywhere else in the house. I’ve called all of his little friends, but no one has seen him. I was hoping maybe he reached out to you.”
“I’m coming over,” he said.
“No.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ve already called the police. They’re here now, and everybody’s already looking for him, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Stephanie, let me be there for you,” he said softly, and I bit back a sob.
“Thank you, Luke, but I wanted to make sure he hadn’t contacted you.” I forced the words out of my mouth.
“Okay,” he said, and I could hear the pain in his voice. My own pain resonated deep in my soul. I couldn’t let him back in. Even though I desperately wanted him, I needed to keep the distance between us.
“If you hear from him—”
“I’ll call you right away.”
“Thank you.” I didn’t wait for him to say good-bye. I placed the phone on the table and looked up at the police officer. “He hasn’t heard from him.” I swallowed, and more tears ran down my face.
“We’ll find him.” Alistair placed his massive hand over mine. “We will find him.”
I nodded, praying he was right.
23
Present
With each passing second, it felt as if the walls of my house were closing in around us. I paced the living room as countless police officers walked through. An Amber Alert was activated, and a plan to find AJ was in full swing. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like an eternity. Laura and Sue were by my side, each taking turns as they tried to keep me calm and get me to eat and drink some water. I went through stages of crying, sobbing, screaming, and pleading.
“You need to eat something,” Laura said, handing me a piece of toast. “Just a bite,” she said after I pursed my lips and shook my head.
She had caught me during one of my pleading moments. I was sitting on the couch, my hands folded under my chin as I stared at my cream-colored carpet and repeated my simple prayer.
Please, God.
Please, God.
“Come on.” Laura waved the toast closer to me.
“I can’t eat, Laura,” I said, looking up at her. Tears blurred my vision and I blinked, letting them drip down my already tear-stained face. “Knowing that he may be out there hungry and alone . . .” I shook my head and brought my gaze back to the floor. “I can’t eat. The only thing I can do is sit here and wait. I can sit here and pray that God is watching over my little boy. That’s what I can do.” I covered my face with my hands.
My sob was cut short by the ringing of my phone. I snapped my head up. Had I imagined it? It rang again, and I dove to the coffee table. Luke’s name flashed on my screen. I sank back on my heels and bowed my head. “I can’t talk to him right now,” I said and tossed my phone back on the table.
“Here, let me.” Laura took the phone from the table. I watched as she ran her finger across the screen. “Hello . . . No, it’s Laura . . . No, the police haven’t found anything yet . . . What do you mean? . . . Do you think so?”
The conversation piqued my interest. I sat taller. “What is he saying?” I whispered.
Laura covered the speaker with her hand. “He thinks he may know where AJ went.”
“What?” My eyes widened. Quickly, I sprang up from the floor and pulled the phone from Laura’s grasp. “Luke, what do you mean?”
“Hey.” His voice was calm and reassuring. He had a plan, I could feel it. I knew him well enough to understand the tone in his voice was one of a man working something out in his head.
“Do you know where he’s gone?” I ran my hand through my hair.
“I think so.”
“Think?” I repeated in annoyance.
“I have a feeling,” he said, and my heart raced in my chest. “I need you to do something for me.”
Unable to speak, I nodded and bit back a cry. I knew he couldn’t see me, but Luke’s feeling was a lot more than anyone else had.
“I need you to run to his room and tell me whether his sleeping bag is still there.”
“What? Why?”
“AJ isn’t a runner.” I heard Luke move through his apartment. “He doesn’t come off as a kid who would just pick up and leave. And your house is very secure, so
I personally don’t think anyone took him.”
“Where are you going with this?” I sat back on the couch, my head rested on my hand.
“I think he went on the camping trip. Or he’s trying to make his way there at least.”
“That’s insane.” I scraped my fingertips against my scalp. “How would he even get to the island?”
“My boat? The dock? What’s the harm in checking?” Luke said with certainty. “Has anyone checked the docks or the campgrounds at Tybee Island?”
“No,” I stated. “It didn’t even cross my mind to check there.”
“I’m going to check the docks. I’ll keep you posted.”
I stood. “I’ll meet you there,” I said before I hung up the phone.
Laura’s eyes were wide. “What happened?” she asked.
“Luke thinks he may know where AJ is.” I jogged toward the mud room and slipped my feet into the first pair of shoes I found.
“Okay,” Laura said behind me. “What can I do?”
“I need you to stay here in the event he comes back.” I ran my hands through my hair and pulled it up in a topknot. “I need to see for myself whether he’s there. I need to go find my baby boy.” I yanked a sweater from the coat rack. It was almost ninety degrees, but I had no time to change. Not to mention, I’d been numb for hours. I couldn’t feel the heat.
“If I hear anything or if anyone calls, I’ll call you immediately.” Laura draped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
As I ran out of the house and toward my car, I silently closed my eyes and prayed. Please, God, let Luke be right. Let AJ be there.
The twenty-seven minutes from my house to the dock passed in a blur. I bobbed and weaved in and out of traffic before pulling into the parking spot beside Luke’s car. I jumped out of my car and scanned the area for Luke. When I couldn’t spot him, I began to panic. Anxiously, I jogged to Luke’s boat. My heart accelerated with each step I took. The gravel kicked up behind me as I pushed harder.
The Perfect Life Page 20
