I Have Lived And I Have Loved: A Charity Romance Collection

by Willow Winters

  All of this is my fault.

  Pouring two glasses, I take a deep breath and slide one onto the counter beside her before taking a sip of mine. “Here, you should try it. It’s actually pretty good.”

  “Thanks,” she answers, but in the brief glimpse I get, I’m pretty sure her eyes look red, and her face is a little flushed — which could be from the fire, or she’s been crying, and I have a feeling which one it is.

  Just back off.

  Eating in silence is horrible. Especially since we’ve been having such great conversations all day. Well, until I creeped her out. Now I can barely get a word out of her while she eats tiny bites of my mediocre lunch.

  I’ve tried anime, her training plan, her favorite food, color, etc. Hell, I even tried to talk about the weather, and Brinnah has barely given me a sentence in response to each of them.

  Swallowing another mouthful of wine, I clear my throat and try a new tactic — my specialty this afternoon, the blunt idiot tactic. “Listen, Brinnah… I’m sorry if I creeped you out earlier, I didn’t mean to, and if you want me to leave, I will.”

  When she looks up at me, I don’t see relief, or disgust, or anything I expected. Instead, her brows are pulled together in a look of utter confusion. “What?”

  “When I cornered you in the kitchen, with the… you know,” I say, gesturing at my idiot stick. “I swear I’m not a creep, I just thought you felt something too and—”

  “You had a hard-on?” she asks, still looking confused, and now I feel even worse.

  Hello, mouth — insert foot.

  “Yeah, I thought you’d noticed and that’s why you were… upset.”

  “You didn’t change your mind?” she asks, her forehead creasing as her brows draw tighter.

  “Change my mind about what?”

  “You dumbass,” Brinnah groans, rubbing at her face before she grabs a napkin to wipe her mouth. “Actually, I don’t know who’s more of a dumbass right now. You, or me.”

  Now it’s my turn to be confused as she finally takes a drink of her wine because I’m not sure why she’s calling herself a dumbass. “This is my fault, Brinnah. Not yours. I had no right to—”

  “Just shut up for a second, Flint.” She laughs under her breath, taking another sip of wine before she sets it down and rests her hands on the edge of the table. “Are you telling me that the reason you didn’t kiss me earlier in the kitchen is because you got a hard-on and you panicked?”

  “Brinnah—”

  “Answer me. Is that the reason, and not because you changed your mind and decided that you didn’t want to kiss me?” she asks, and I’m flooded with relief as things click into place.

  “That’s why you were sulking in the living room? You thought that I didn’t want to kiss you?”

  “Well, hard to think of anything else when you turn away at the last second and tell me to go sit down,” she quips, finally sounding like her fiery self again, and I’m out of my chair in a second and moving around the table to stand over her.

  “If that’s what you thought then I have to agree with you,” I say, bracing a hand on the back of her chair as I lean down, my gaze glued to the sassy smile on her lips.

  “Agree with me about what?”

  “We’re both dumbasses.” Moving my hand into her hair, I cradle the back of her head just before I lean down to kiss her. Within seconds her arms are around my neck and I pull her out of the chair, teasing the seam of her lips with my tongue until she parts them to let me in.

  It’s better than any pre-teen fantasy I ever had about kissing Brinnah, and I’m almost relieved this is our first kiss because I’m a hell of a lot better at it now than I would have been back then. Her lips are soft, and she tastes like wine and the pepper in the sauce, and the little noises she’s making are just a tease.

  I want more.

  Tightening my hold on her hair, I move her back to the wall, but I’m still having to lean down too far to kiss her. It’s pure instinct when I wrap my hands under her thighs and pick her up, bracing her against the wall. It’s not until I can feel the heat of her body through my slacks that I realize what I’ve done. Breaking the kiss, I lean my forehead against hers, our eyes meeting, and although I only see excitement in those vibrant blues, I still have to ask. “You okay with this?”

  “Very okay,” she confirms, squeezing me closer with her legs wrapped around my hips, which does dangerous things below my belt.

  “Keep that up and this isn’t going to be a PG-13 make-out session,” I warn, and she grins at me, trailing her devious little tongue along her bottom lip.

  “You’re the one that put the brakes on earlier, Flintstone,” she teases before leaning forward to take my lip between her teeth gently, pulling back until it pops free, and then she flicks her tongue over the spot.

  Fuck.

  I don’t bother stifling the groan this time or hiding the hard-on that I know for a fact she can feel because she’s grinding on it, setting my skin on fire with need. “You’re going to have to tell me if you want to stop, Brinn.”

  “Stop thinking and kiss me, Flint,” she says with a sigh.

  “Say it again,” I urge, mostly because I just want to hear it from her lips.

  “Kiss me, Flint,” she purrs. Then she grins, and it’s that same bright smile from all those anime binges, but now it was a much more wicked side, and I like it even more. I want her, and I’m definitely not thinking like eleven-year-old ‘Flintstone’ right now.

  Keeping one hand under her thigh, I slide the other one up her side, brushing my thumb across the outside of her breast before I slip it into her hair and crane her head back to expose her neck. I start out slow, nipping and licking, figuring out every little noise I can draw out of her while we grind against each other on the wall like a couple of teenagers.

  “Flint,” she whines, dragging her nails down my back, but with my shirt in the way it’s dulled, and I wish we were naked already, but I’m not going to fuck this up for real.

  Take your damn time.

  “Tell me what you want,” I whisper right against her ear, loving the way she shivers against me before pulling me tighter into her. All I get in response is a soft moan, and I chuckle before I nip her earlobe. “That wasn’t an answer, beautiful.”

  “I want you.” Her hands come up to cup my face, and this time she’s on the offensive, controlling the kiss for a moment before I take it back, pressing her harder into the wall until the way she’s grinding has my dick threatening to pop-off way too soon.

  “Hold on to me.” That’s all the warning I give her before I pull her away from the wall, wrapping one arm around her waist as I scan the small apartment, debating the options. “Your choice. Fireplace or bed.”

  “Fireplace,” she answers right against my ear, returning the favor of nipping it and then running her tongue down my neck, and all I can do is bite down on a moan as I figure out how the fuck to make that work.

  Got it.

  Carrying her to the couch, I set her down and unwind her legs from my hips, pushing her knees apart slowly, giving her time to stop me as I drop a knee to the floor. When she doesn’t hesitate, I push them farther apart, forcing her skirt to slide up her thighs. Dipping my head down, I run my lips along the thick fabric of her tights, then nip the inside of one knee, followed by the other, reveling in the way she twitches and whines.

  “I’m going to get us something to lay on, and when I get back out here, I want the tights off.”

  “Now I can see why you’re the CEO,” she says, drawing her skirt up higher, which momentarily distracts me from my plan.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re so bossy,” she continues, trailing her fingers over her thighs. “But I like it.”

  Fuck me. She’s better than a wet dream.

  “Then listen to me and take those tights off before I get back.” Winking at her, I force myself to turn away and walk into the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and take off my shoes, th
en my socks, shoving them out of the way underneath before I rip the comforter off. I debate for a second but decide it’s better to be over-prepared and grab the top sheet too, along with a couple of pillows, before heading back into the living room.

  And then I almost drop all of it.

  Brinnah is in the same spot on the couch where I left her and she’s got her knees spread apart again, only now there’s no tights, giving me a perfect peek between her thighs at the scrap of black fabric hidden there.

  It takes me a moment longer for my brain to function well enough to notice that both of our wine glasses are on the side table, along with the bottle, but that’s definitely secondary.

  “See something you like?” she teases, grinning at me, and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. Obviously not say-it-out-loud love, but I can’t think of anything more I could want from a woman, and I’ve wanted Brinnah for too damn long already.

  “Everything about you,” I answer. Tossing the pile of bed stuff in front of the chair, I cover the distance between us in another heartbeat, bracing my knee on the cushion between her thighs so that I can kiss her again. She moans against my lips, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to just skip ahead, because I want to be inside her more than anything, and my dick definitely agrees… but I want this to be memorable.

  Every single thing with Brinnah is a first. Not a true first for either of us, I know that. But if my family hadn’t moved away, she could have been my first in everything, and that’s not something I want to rush through.

  Shifting her sideways on the couch, I lay her out and find enough space between her thighs to prop myself above her. Her hands go for my pants, and I catch one and move it above her head, tsk’ing her. “I thought you liked it when I’m in charge.”

  “I want you,” she whispers, tugging at the button of my slacks, and I grin.

  “And I want to taste every inch of you first.”

  Her eyes widen a little, her pink tongue flicking out over her lip again before she whispers a soft, “Okay.”

  Capturing her mouth in another kiss, I run my hand up her side, cupping her breast through her shirt, teasing the button of her nipple with my thumb until she returns the favor and lets her hands start to explore. I can’t help but grin as I move up and pop the first button on her blouse, kissing every bit of newly exposed skin, the swell of each breast, moving down to her ribs until the last button is free and I can see the gentle curves she was hiding.

  My imagination didn’t do her justice.

  Brinnah is beautiful, peppered with the occasional freckle, and I want to memorize them, to kiss each one, but she’s already slid two of the buttons on my shirt free. When I catch her hand this time, she gives me the sexiest pout. “Fair is fair.”

  “Are you trying to get me naked, Ms. Grosset?” I ask, feigning surprise, and that earns me a wicked grin as her hands make quick work of the other buttons.

  “Yes, Mr. Etheridge,” she says, sitting up to plant teasing kisses on my neck. “I am absolutely trying to get you naked.”

  “So naughty,” I tease, but the way she suddenly kisses me tells me just how much she liked that, and I’m more than happy to talk dirty. Breaking the kiss, I sit up to toss the shirt aside, and go ahead and take my undershirt off as well before I lean over her again. “You like being a naughty girl?” I ask, loving the soft moan she lets out in reply. Running my hand up her side to squeeze her breast, I nip the swell of it and then lean down to whisper in her ear, “Or do you like being a good girl?”

  “Which one will get you into bed faster?” she asks, and I sit up in time to catch the wicked grin on her face.

  “Definitely a naughty girl then.” Tilting my chin toward the other end of the couch, I add, “Hands above your head then.”

  “Why?” she asks, but she does it anyway, and I just wink at her before I dip my head down to kiss along the edge of her bra, teasing her. “Come on, why?”

  “Because naughty girls can’t be trusted with their hands,” I answer, popping the cup of her bra down to take her nipple into my mouth. She arches under me, grinding uselessly against my stomach, and I love how vocal she is. Every little whine and moan and muttered curse is fucking music to my ears, showing me just what she likes and how she likes it. When I nip her skin, she gasps but it turns into a sweet moan and so I repeat it, teasing her until she’s got a hand around the back of my neck, encouraging me to bite a little harder.

  Definitely a naughty girl, and she’s so fucking perfect.

  Reaching under her, I unhook her bra, and she tosses it and the shirt away in another second. This time when I kiss her, we’re skin to skin. All of her soft curves pressed into my hard edges, and we’re grinding like high school kids. It’s the most wonderful kind of ache, because my dick is still trapped behind my zipper, but every roll of her hips is a tease and a promise of what’s to come.

  When I can’t handle it anymore, I shift my hips back to make room for my hand, slipping it under her skirt until I find her underwear soaked, which makes it that much easier to find the hard nub of her clit and focus my fingers there in quick circles.

  “Oh God, oh God, Flint…” Brinnah whines, arching in the most perfect way, and I can’t resist drawing one of those pert nipples into my mouth, biting gently as I push her closer to the edge, listening to each sound she makes to figure out exactly what she likes. “Yes, yes, please!”

  “Let go, I’m nowhere near done with you yet,” I whisper against her ear, picking up the pace until her babbling pleas turn into a shout and her hips jerk away from me, forcing me to cup her through her underwear to keep up the friction as she whines.

  “Shit, shit, Flint, wait!” she begs, and I slow down, but I don’t stop yet.

  “You sure you want me to stop, Brinn?” I ask, flicking a tongue over her nipple which sends another shiver through her muscles as she soaks the thin scrap of cloth between her legs. Her scent is everywhere, mixing with the citrus of her perfume, and the way she’s squirming underneath me is testing my limits.

  Fuck, I want to taste her.

  “Skirt off,” I command, barely able to put the words together as I force myself back to the chair to fumble with the wadded mess of bedding. It takes a minute, but I push the chair out of the way and get it laid out in front of the fireplace. Before I can even beckon her over, Brinnah is off the couch and crawling toward me on her knees like she slipped straight out of one of my fantasies. “God you’re beautiful.”

  “You look pretty hot yourself,” she says as she stops at my feet, kneeling and looking up at me with those knock-out blues. I’m speechless when she pops the button of my slacks free, dragging the zipper down. “And I think it’s my turn.”

  “Who says you get a turn?” I tease, but when I reach for her hand, she shakes me off too easily. Although I’m not exactly trying to stop her. The idea of those soft pink lips wrapped around my shaft is pure sin, and I’ve never been much of a saint.

  “Tell me if you want me to stop.” The naughty little smirk on her lips as she lets my slacks fall around my ankles is so damn naughty, but before I can come up with a response she’s rubbing me through my boxer-briefs and all language has officially disappeared along with the blood leaving my brain to head south.

  I know that I wanted to taste her first, but I’ve been an idiot all night and there’s no reason to stop now. Especially when she seems so intent on— Jesus fucking Christ. All I manage to get out is something that is half-groan, half-growl as Brinnah drags her tongue along the underside of my shaft before sliding me into her mouth. Warm, wet heat wraps around my dick and shuts off all higher brain function, but I know for sure that her tongue is devious and a hell of a lot of other words I can’t think of as I weave my fingers into her hair.

  “Fuck, Brinn…” I groan as she draws me to the back of her tongue, teasing me with the thought of her throat as she swallows around me, forcing me to ball my other hand into a fist to resist the urge to thrust. “Yessss…”<
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  When she starts to move with shallow teases, her wicked tongue dancing over the head of my cock, followed by sucking me in to swallow around me, I’m lost. There’s just an insistent nudging at the back of my mind that won’t go away, growing more urgent when she cups my balls in her hands and squeezes lightly just as she pulls me deep into her mouth again. Powerful waves of electric energy rolls through my nerves, tightening at the base of my spine, and I jerk my hips away just in time.

  “Come back,” she whines, but I try to step back and almost trip over the clothes tangled around my ankles.

  “Naughty girl. Naughty, naughty girl,” I say through a rough chuckle as I desperately push away the urge to come.

  “Was that naughty? It seemed like you enjoyed it.” Her lips are reddened, shiny with saliva, and my hand in her hair turned that auburn hair into a mussy halo that has me pausing to memorize her just like this.

  Come on, brain, back online.

  “That was naughty, and you were a very good girl.” Kicking my pants and boxers free, I point at the bedding. “Now it’s my turn.”

  “Ooo, if that’s my reward I can be a good girl.” Brinnah lays back, knees bent and together, but I fix that as soon as I get down on the floor. Pushing them apart gently, I kiss my way down the inside of her thighs, alternating between left and right until I can only place one more kiss just at the top of her mound.

  “Going to be a good girl for me?”

  Brinnah

  Every inch of my skin is lit up with buzzy tension as Flint kisses his way down my thighs. He’s moving so painstakingly slow, but I already know how good he is with his hands and it’s the anticipation more than anything else that has me panting and needier than I’ve ever felt.

  “Going to be a good girl for me?” he asks me in that low, thrumming baritone that I can practically feel against my skin, and if I wasn’t already soaking wet that would have done it.

  “Yes, I will, just please don’t tease me,” I beg, arching my back and lifting my hips, but he just wraps his arms around my thighs and holds me exactly where he wants me for that first torturously slow lick through my folds. All I can do is whimper as he flicks the tip of his tongue against my clit. “Flint, please!”