A Whispered Darkness

by Vanessa Barger

  “Thanks,” I mumbled. “Me too.”

  Bryan handed back my schedule. “I hope you don’t mind, but we’ve got a couple classes together.”

  Forcing a smile, I glanced at the first room number, then folded it and stuck it in my pocket. “Of course not. But you and Haven don’t seem to get along well.”

  Bryan shrugged. “We’ve known each other a long time. Nothing big.”

  “Oh.”

  He waved to someone across the hall, then flashed me a wide grin. “I’ll see you in class, all right? I don’t want to cramp your style on your first day of school.”

  I laughed. “Cramp my style? What style?”

  His eyebrows lifted. “Oh, you’ve definitely got style. In all the good ways.”

  Grant snickered on my left and I elbowed him. He pretended to rub his side and then pulled out his schedule. “All right, Sis. See you later. Don’t want to cramp your style by hanging around too long.”

  “Wait for it, dude. You’re going to get a girlfriend and all the comments are going to come back to haunt you.”

  He grinned. “Whatever. I’m not the one with admirers.” Grant crumpled his schedule in his hands and waved as he headed down a side hallway.

  I entered the room and took a seat in the back. No need to draw more attention than I already did. Maybe if I kept a low profile, I could stay under the radar after the initial curiosity wore off. Maybe this time school would be different.

  Maybe.

  Chapter Nine

  Being the new kid, I got many stares, and I tensed each time someone glanced at me. But when I searched their faces for signs of disgust or judgment, to my relief, they only seemed to be curious.

  Little by little, I relaxed. The first day is the same no matter where you are. Long, boring, and full of roll calls, seating charts, class expectations, and book assignments. Mind-numbing tasks, mostly. It was easier than I anticipated to be there, in the middle of so many people again. With all their energy pressing in, I was managing better than I thought I might have. It was like traveling up a mountain and feeling the pressure change, but being unable to pop your ears. Just short of being painful, but enough to make your skin crawl if you thought too much about it.

  But by third bell, I itched to get out of my seat and get out of the building. My book bag bulged with papers and new books. Things had gone relatively well, and then I walked into my government room. Haven sat in a back corner, politely nodding to something a girl in front of him was talking about.

  He caught my eye when I walked in and smiled. A thrill shot through my belly. I pulled my gaze away and picked a seat in the next row. Maybe not the most subtle of moves.

  “Hello again.” Haven said.

  I propped my book bag up against the side of the desk. “Hey. I hope it’s all right I sit next to you?”

  Haven nodded. “Definitely.”

  The girl in front of Haven gave me a once over and turned away to talk to a friend. Haven didn’t seem to notice that no one else really spoke to him, beyond a few polite “hellos.” They seemed to avoid even looking too closely at him.

  Just before the bell rang, Bryan flew through the door and made his way down the rows of seats to sit on my other side. He leaned over and smiled. “Hey. How’s the day going so far?”

  “Good, thanks.” I was saved from any further small talk by our teacher starting class. Bryan meant well, I thought, but he made me uncomfortable. He just seemed too interested too fast. I wasn’t sure why.

  Mr. Larsen took a stack of books from the shelf next to his desk and proceeded to pull each of us up one at a time to sign out a textbook. The class erupted into murmured conversations, and I released a long breath.

  “So what do you think of Ocean Lakes so far?” Haven asked. He flashed a smile. “Hopefully it hasn’t been too hard being the new girl.”

  “You make us sound awful,” Bryan said, shooting Haven a glare.

  Haven didn’t respond, but his expression turned icy.

  “It’s been okay so far,” I answered. I could have cut the air between them with a knife, though I didn’t understand the animosity.

  “Good. Maybe it will stay that way.” Haven said.

  Bryan’s voice was like poison. “If you keep hanging out with Haven, no one will bother you. Trust me.”

  Irritation flared in my gut. So much for staying under the radar. “Seriously? I don’t know what you two have going on, but you can keep me out of it.”

  They both looked away, and Bryan’s face flushed. Offering me a crooked smile, he shrugged. “We have been a bit annoying. Sorry.”

  He seemed sincere, but at the same time his very changeable nature made me shiver. Until now, he’d been so polite. A little overly friendly, maybe. I glanced at Haven, who watched Bryan with what looked like concern. The idea unsettled me.

  Both of them were strange. Bryan was a nice enough guy. But everyone knew him and spoke to him. They seemed to like him, or at least put up with him. But Haven…the girl in front of him turned around to pass a paper back. When Haven’s hand accidentally brushed hers, she jumped and something that looked like repulsion passed over her face.

  The boy sitting on his other side had said hello earlier. But it wasn’t friendly. It was cold. Empty. A polite gesture that he had to do because it was a small town and appearances must be kept.

  The contradictions fascinated me. Everyone was polite to him, they spoke to him and smiled, but beneath those bland gazes, there were other things. Fear, disgust, and even a little distrust. What could he have possibly done to deserve that?

  I didn’t know anyone well enough to ask questions. And I doubted whether anyone would give me the whole, unbiased truth. I didn’t need to look for trouble anyway. We had enough problems at home.

  I leaned my head on the desk and sighed. I didn’t need this. It was bad enough to be at school, to feel the weight of so many minds and dreams again. I’d almost forgotten what that burden felt like. The weight of souls pressing against one another.

  The first assignment, a mini essay about a current event, finally made it back to me. It was a relief to focus on anything else. I didn’t have to try to make small talk with either of them for the moment. Mr. Larsen called me up to get a book and I slid out of my seat. Just make it another fifteen minutes and then you can go to lunch.

  Lunch. A whole other social problem. I was the new kid, on the first day of school. I doubted Grant would sit with me. The best I could hope for was an empty table somewhere.

  As I headed back to my seat, thick Government book clutched to my chest, I studied the two boys on either side of me. This would be a long school year if they kept it up. However, I didn’t have to worry about trying to make conversation. We worked on the mini essay and then Mr. Larsen stood and gave us a reading assignment due the next class. I scribbled it down in my planner. The bell rang as I finished, and I took my time loading my book bag. Haven glanced at me, pointing to the door and raising an eyebrow. “Coming?”

  “I’ll be there. You go ahead.”

  Haven paused, his face flushing. “Look, if you want, come sit with me at lunch.”

  “Thanks,” I told him. “I really appreciate that.”

  He nodded and headed out of class. I noticed the two girls who left after him gave him wide berth. Beside me, Bryan cleared his throat. “I hope you’re not developing a soft spot for Haven.”

  With an unladylike grunt, I hefted the over-filled bag over one shoulder. “Bryan, there is no reason why I can’t be nice to people.”

  “I know I’ve probably screwed things up, but there are things you don’t know about him.”

  I stopped in the doorway and glared over my shoulder. “There are a lot of things I don’t know about you.” Without giving him time to argue, I headed out the door, waving a hand over my shoulder. “See you later.”

  I made a beeline for the girls’ bathroom. Neither of them would follow me there, and I
needed a few minutes alone. Being in the midst of so many people drained me. I’d forgotten what it was like to be a high school student. I spent the last half of my previous high school year in tutoring with doctors, psychiatrists, and my parents watching my every move. All because of one mistake. One huge mistake. Even though I guarded against it now, the weight of their thoughts and dreams and energy gripped me

  The important thing, and the thought which made me happiest, was that I’d controlled myself. With very little thought or effort, I had kept things together. Before I got to school, I couldn’t admit how scared I’d been I wouldn’t be able to do it. But I had, and my confidence soared.

  I dropped my book bag on the floor, used the bathroom, and washed my hands. I checked my hair, my cell phone, and after a few more minutes had passed, I had no other reason to avoid the crowded cafeteria. So I hauled the book bag on my back again and headed toward the smell of food and the loud, raucous noise of the lunchroom.

  When I walked in, the long tables were mostly full. Only a few small round tables, set off to the side, remained open. A group of pastel-clad, overly perky girls I assumed would be cheerleaders and the popular crowd filled one. Another, set even farther apart and almost shoved in a corner, was empty except for Haven.

  After everything this morning, I knew sitting there would be a poor social choice. But I moved across the lunchroom and stopped in front of the chair across from him.

  “Can I still sit with you?”

  “Sure,” he waved me to the chair next to him, but no smile crossed his lips. “I have to warn you though, sitting with me is sort of like joining a leper colony.”

  I slid another chair out and put my book bag on it, pulling my lunch bag from a side pocket. “Well, if I’m going to do something, I’m not going to do it by halves. You don’t seem like the ax-murderer type to me.” I resisted a frown when he stiffened. “Or are you?”

  “No.” He relaxed, sitting back in his chair. “No, not an ax murderer.”

  I unwrapped my sandwich and tilted my head. “Poison, then? No, wait, you seem like a ‘lead-pipe-in-the-library’ kind of guy.”

  To my surprise he laughed, and amusement broke across his face. “That’s it. You’ve learned my deep, dark secret.”

  “I knew it. I pride myself on my uncanny mental powers.”

  He saluted me with his soda, and we fell into an easy conversation about the school and our classes.

  A few minutes later, Grant fell into the chair next to Haven. He stuck out one hand. “Hi. I’m Grant.”

  “I remember.” Haven shook the hand my brother offered. “Haven.”

  “Are you okay?” I asked. Grant looked like he’d been run over by a bus.

  He slouched farther into his seat. “My last class nearly killed me.”

  “Who was it?” Haven balled up his trash, chucking it into the large trashcan sitting ten feet away.

  “Mrs. Malone, for Biology.”

  Haven nodded. “Sorry to tell you, but it doesn’t get better.”

  Grant groaned and slapped a hand across his face. “I knew you would say that.”

  “How are the other classes?” I finished the last piece of brownie and gathered my trash together.

  His response began to fade into the background as I looked up, my eyes straying to a pale, gaunt figure walking past the cafeteria windows across from us. They were floor to ceiling, and showed the man clearly. At first, I thought he was a janitor. He wore blue denim pants and a blue button-up shirt. Light brown hair stuck in messy clumps around a thin face with a scraggly goatee. When my gaze hit his knees and the pant legs thinned and faded into nothing, my stomach dropped. The ghost turned, as if he suddenly realized I saw him, and his mouth opened into a preternaturally wide scream.

  “Hey!” Grant waved a hand in front of my face. “Earth to Claire! What’s wrong with you?” He turned, following my gaze and then raised an eyebrow, concern slipping into his tone. “Claire? Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just zoned out for a moment.”

  Haven’s brow furrowed and he glanced back as well. When he turned around, he stared at me. One finger rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Do that often?”

  “Sorry. Just sleepy. All that moving and new place and all that.” I laughed a little too brightly. “What did you ask me?”

  “I asked how your classes were going.” Grant said.

  “They’re all right. But it’s only the first day.”

  I slipped out of the chair and threw away my garbage. Haven’s speculative look unnerved me. This time, things were going to be different. I was determined.

  When I sat back down, Grant leaned over. “What I really want to know is what you’ve done to piss off Bryan.”

  I made a face. “He thinks I need his advice about who to hang out with.”

  Haven sighed. “In his defense, I’ve got a reputation.”

  “For what?”

  He paused. “It’s better you find that out on your own.”

  Grant grinned and looked at Haven. “Dude, I’m totally on your team.”

  Haven’s lips twitched. “Thanks. You two have tripled the size of my ‘team’ in one day.”

  The bell rang and Grant got to his feet. “We’re usually on the underdog’s side.”

  “How does the underdog usually come out, in your experience?” Haven asked.

  Grant’s gaze flicked to mine. “Jury’s still out.”

  Chapter Ten

  Friday morning, our second week of school, I stood in the hallway with Bryan. Because I’d gotten confused the first couple of days, he decided I was incapable of remembering anything about navigating high school. I’d joked about it the first three days, but now it irritated me.

  As Bryan asked me about where I’d be after my last class, my temper snapped.

  “I’m not an idiot, Bryan. You know where I’ll be, and so do I. Now leave me alone and let me get to class.”

  I stormed off, pleased at the way his mouth dropped into an astonished “O.”

  The pleasure at surprising him faded into guilt as I took my seat in English.

  Haven sat on the other side of the room. I couldn’t really escape him in a school this small. We pulled out our books, and I bit my lip. Truth was, I had a huge crush on him. Not that I’d admit it out loud. He didn’t seem interested in more than friendship, and I wasn’t going to make the first move. I focused on the assignment Mrs. Hamilton discussed at the front of the room. A creative writing activity, based on a field trip we’d take at the beginning of next week. Permission slips came down the rows, and I stared at the location.

  Riverview Cemetery.

  “Cemetery?” I gaped.

  The girl in front of me rolled her eyes and slid the paper in her binder. “She takes a group every year, though the assignment changes each time. Mrs. Hamilton’s got a morbid side to her.”

  At least most graveyards didn’t have ghosts. Given the choice, a spirit was more likely to hang around their house or some other place of strong emotion. Cemeteries didn’t hold such connections for most of them. I hoped this would be a quiet one. I’d spent the last two weeks keeping an eye out for the ghost I’d seen in the hall. So far, he had only made one other brief appearance.

  For the rest of class, Mrs. Hamilton gave us a preliminary creative writing exercise. We had to take an event from our summer vacation and retell it as a flash fiction story, with a bit of embellishment. An educational form of the “two truths and a lie” icebreaker.

  My pen hovered over my paper. A smile I couldn’t contain slipped out. I had quite a few topics I could choose from. Should I write about my parents’ divorce? The blond who had more plastic than Mattel and aspirations to be our stepmother? We lived in a seriously creepy haunted house that gave my brother nightmares and growled at me. How would I write that one down?

  I picked the move. Toned it down so most of my story was pure fiction, but it sounded mundane
enough to be reality. When I finished, I slouched back in my chair and read it over. Sometimes I wished my reality were more like the story.

  I switched with the guy beside me, marked two spelling mistakes and a comma error and proceeded to doodle on my notebook while he finished. He hovered over my paper with a pen, intent. After a few minutes, he scribbled a couple words at the bottom and handed it back with a smile.

  “Nice.”

  I mumbled something inane and handed his back as well. Mrs. Hamilton had us pass up papers, and then the bell rang. Haven caught my eye as I slung my book-bag over my shoulder. The speculative look was back on his face, and I wondered what he thought he saw.

  “See you later, Claire.” He said, and headed for the door.

  I mumbled something non-committal as I waited for the other people in front of me to slide out of the row of desks. Grant lounged against the wall outside, his head bent and dark circles around his eyes. The frown that seemed to have become a permanent part of his face was deeper than normal. Grant was struggling with the social aspects of high school. Usually that was my job, but our roles had reversed this time around. I wished I knew how to help him, but I preferred the loner role. Grant was a social creature.

  “Did you have as much fun as me today?” he asked.

  “Doubt it. You look like a barrel of laughs.”

  One side of his mouth rose. “Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m the life of the party.”

  I snorted and we headed for the front doors. Mom’s car wasn’t at the curb. A glance at my watch confirmed we were running late. Only a few more minutes and the buses would leave.

  “She’s not coming.” Grant’s voice was flat.

  “Think positive.”

  “All right. I’m positive she’s not coming.”

  I glanced at my watch once more, then back at the buses. With a groan, I snagged Grant’s elbow and we sprinted to our bus, jumping on right before the engine roared to life. It wasn’t crowded. Most kids caught rides or stayed after for an activity.

  Grant slouched against the green pleather seat and turned his head to stare out the window.