A Whispered Darkness

by Vanessa Barger

  A few minutes later, he pulled into a paved driveway which opened into a large parking lot. I stared up at the faded red brick of the Pine Grove retirement home and bit the inside of my cheek. Dread and shame swirled in my belly and coated my tongue. This was what I asked for and I had to see it through.

  He cut the engine and we got out, silently making our way to the door and inside. He nodded to the receptionist, who smiled warmly and chirped a greeting. She nodded to me. “Is this the girl you’ve been talking about?”

  The tips of his ears turned as red as his cheeks. “Yes. Claire, this is Mrs. Pomeroy. Mrs. Pomeroy, Claire Mallory.”

  She reached over the desk, giving me a firm handshake. Her smile remained kind, but there was a calculating glint to her eye. “I’m very pleased to meet you. Haven’s never brought a friend by before.”

  I glanced back at Haven, but he offered no help. “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Pomeroy.”

  “You two run along.” She tapped her neatly manicured nail on the counter. The smile moved back to her eyes. “It will do her some good to see you with a young lady, Haven.”

  “Um, sure. I’ll see you later,” he mumbled and seized my hand again. His palms were damp, betraying his nerves where his expression did not. My heart ached for him. Whoever this was, they were important to him.

  Mrs. Pomeroy’s words echoed in my head. The first person he’d brought? Ever? Big shoes to fill. Big expectations.

  Nervous butterflies made me sick to my stomach. I didn’t understand what kind of judgment he thought I might pass on this experience. I was terrified he would be right—this might be a test I’d somehow fail.

  The halls smelled like old people, perfume, and disinfectant. Despite that, it was neat and clean, and lacked the depressing miasma of melancholy that sometimes hovered inside such places. At the end of a short hallway, Haven took a left and stopped in front of a yellow door decorated with a brass number twenty-one and a framed picture of a mountain.

  “Last chance to run, Claire.” His voice cracked when he said my name. His fingers ruffled his shaggy hair, and he kept his eyes locked on the shiny metal numbers.

  My fingertips brushed his cheek. “Haven.”

  He didn’t look up. I slid my palm against his face and gently forced him to look at me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  For a moment, he stared into my eyes, and I had the curious sensation of falling. Doubt still lingered in the shadowy places of his mind. My lips twisted into a crooked smile. “Everyone has secrets, Haven. Some good, some bad. I’m privileged you would share this one with me.” I inhaled and exhaled slowly. “And I suppose that I owe you an explanation too.”

  “That’s not why I brought you here.”

  I released him. “That’s why I’ll tell you. I shouldn’t have pushed you in the first place.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “You are a strange bird, Claire Mallory.”

  “So they tell me.”

  He took another deep breath, turned the knob, and opened the door. Inside, the walls were a soft baby blue. The furniture was what Mom called “early attic,” but it was well kept, and pictures hung everywhere. A thin woman with streaks of gray in her honey-colored hair sat in an armchair, a romance novel pinched between two fingers.

  “Haven!” She slid a bookmark into the page and jumped up, wrapping her arms around him. This close, I could see the resemblance.

  He returned her hug and pulled away, his face flushed again. He motioned to me. “This is—”

  “Claire Mallory.” She enveloped me in a brief hug, a brilliant smile on her face. “I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.”

  He didn’t seem the least bit surprised she knew my name. I smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Elliott.”

  A frown appeared. “I’m Lenore Pearson.” Her eyes seemed far away. “But I suppose I was Elliott once. A long time ago. At least, Vale says it’s true.”

  Vale? Who was she talking about?

  Haven touched her arm and she blinked, her smile returning. “Take a seat, please! Tell me how things are going. Haven only tells me what he thinks I need to hear.”

  She scooted an ottoman from in front of the armchair and perched in front of us. “So what brings you here? I doubt it’s a social call.”

  Haven shifted in his seat, his fingers worrying the piped edging of the couch. “We need to ask you a question, Mom, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Her smile turned softer, and she patted his hand with a sigh. “Honey, I know you wouldn’t. You are—”

  Her head tilted, and her gaze softened, stared out between Haven and me to some place far beyond the plaster of the wall. Her expression changed to one so sad it made my heart squeeze. A tear escaped down the woman’s face, and her shoulders slumped.

  “It’s time, isn’t it, Vale? Why does it always come back to this?”

  Haven caught my eye and gave a tiny shake of his head. Neither of us moved. Slowly, Mrs. Elliott’s face turned to me. Her thin fingers curled around my hand squeezed them tightly.

  “I’m not always here, you know. Most of the time, I’m somewhere else.”

  “Where?” I whispered, despite the dread.

  “Everywhere. Nowhere. That’s what it’s like once you let it inside. Once you let it touch your mind.” Her eyes focused on my face as her hands tightened to the point of pain. “You must not allow it inside, Claire. You think you’re weak. The time you spent with the psychiatrist, you think you did something wrong…It’s not what you think. You’re stronger than the rest of us. So much stronger. You have to believe it. It’s all about belief. Always has been. You can’t imagine the consequences if you can’t do this.”

  Ice ran through my veins. There was nothing faraway or insane in Mrs. Elliott’s eyes. They were the clear, sane eyes of someone who had seen something horrible. And I knew if I asked, Mrs. Elliott would show me.

  I didn’t ask. I had a pretty good idea what I would see. I’d been seeing a version in my sleep for days. I knew right now, I didn’t want the reality. Not yet.

  Mrs. Elliott smiled, and one hand cupped my cheek before falling away. “You see? You’re already so much further than I was. I believed too much too soon, and here I am.”

  She tilted her head again, her eyes closed for a moment. When she opened them again, it was clear she was back in the fog that clouded her sanity most of the time. Something or someone had broken the barrier between reality and vision in her mind, and she couldn’t distinguish between them anymore.

  “What were we talking about?” A crease formed between her eyebrows and she glanced between Haven and me with an anxious frown. “I went away again, didn’t I?”

  I smiled. “You did, but you’re back now. How about some lunch?”

  From the corner of her eye, I saw Haven blink and then a small smile flicker across his mouth. When his mom jumped to her feet to slide into some shoes, his hand slid across the couch to touch mine.

  “Thanks,” he whispered.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I stood next to the car, my hands thrust into the pockets of my coat. The wind played with my hair. I stared at the building we’d left, my head cocked to the side.

  “What are you thinking about?” Haven leaned against the passenger door next to me.

  I didn’t look at him. “You are much more than anyone gives you credit for.”

  “More what?”

  Shrugging, I glanced at him. “Just…more.”

  He reached out; his fingertips grazed my cheek as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thank you for being so nice to Mom. I appreciate it.”

  “Your mother is a sweet woman.”

  “Sweet, but not on the planet.”

  “No.” I struggled to put my thoughts into words. “I think she’s too aware of everything. Talking to her, I could tell the barriers that keep the supernatural and the normal worlds
are gone. Like someone tore them down. Now she drifts wherever the moment takes her, and she doesn’t know what’s there and what isn’t.”

  Haven rubbed a hand over his face and released a long breath. “You can see it too. For so long, I thought I’d made it all up to feel better.”

  “Only one thing I don’t get. Well, two.”

  “What?”

  “Who is Vale? And why here? Why isn’t she at home? She doesn’t seem like she’s a danger to herself.”

  His shoulders sagged. “We tried at home for a while, but she wanders sometimes. Once we searched all day and found her eight miles in the woods. Afterward, the home seemed like a better choice. As for Vale…I think he’s my father. Or was. I think he’s dead now.”

  “You’re not sure?”

  One shoulder lifted then fell as he studied the ground intensely. “Mom never talked about him much, but she talks to him all the time. I think he’s dead and watching over her. Sometimes, I think even I get a whiff of him occasionally. But he’s never made himself clear to me.”

  I giggled, then laughed until tears streamed down my cheeks. Haven stiffened, his frown slicing across his face. “Really? You think this all a joke?”

  I shook my head and caught at his arm. “We’re quite a pair, Haven. My mother is a divorcee who’s obsessed with a cursed haunted house whose ghosts who want to eat us. Things from nightmares want to suck out my soul. Your mom already knows what waits for us, but can’t tell us, and your grandmother is in denial about everything. We’re practically a match made in heaven!”

  His frown lightened, but didn’t leave. “I still don’t find this a laughing matter.”

  “I know.” I wiped at my face. Tears burned behind my eyes. “But for me, Haven, it’s either laugh or I’ll cry until there are no tears left for anything else.”

  He opened his arms and pulled me against his chest. I slid my hands up his back and tightened them, clinging to him. As though he might keep the world from crashing on top of us. It would, soon enough. Everything teetered on the edge of disaster. Only a little tap would send the world crashing into a million pieces. Worse, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  “So is the future any clearer now?” I whispered.

  He was silent for a moment, but I thought I felt him smile against my hair. “I can’t tell you. Haven’t looked.”

  “Why not?”

  “Sometimes seeing the future isn’t as much fun as you’d think.”

  There was nothing I could say to that.

  “Don’t worry so much, Claire. You can’t change anything if you do, so why put out all the energy?”

  “Easier said than done.” I was silent a moment, focusing on his heartbeat thumping under my cheekbone. “Will she be safe?”

  For a moment, I wasn’t sure he understood the question. Finally, I felt him nod and press a kiss to my forehead. “I think so. Vale, whoever he might or might not be, is like her guardian angel. She’s as safe as she can be.”

  This was the harder part. “You can walk away now, Haven, and I would understand. After all this, I can’t expect you to ever come near my house again.”

  He pushed me back, and I didn’t look up until his hands slid beneath my chin and exerted gentle pressure. His eyes glittered with offense and warmth. It made me feel safe.

  “If you ever say anything like that again, I’ll have to take serious action. I’m not leaving you alone there and abandoning you.”

  “Why?”

  He paused, his throat bobbing. I could see him choosing and discarding several explanations. Finally, he sighed. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  My heart somersaulted in my chest. Tears threatened again and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Something bright burned at the thought of him, but I couldn’t put words to it. It was new and delicate, an emotion to be thought over and strengthened before I mentioned it. As he bent his head to kiss me, I whispered, “You always have the right answers, don’t you?”

  If he noticed I didn’t return the words, it didn’t show. His arms squeezed tighter around my waist as his lips teased mine, soft and full of all kinds of promises I didn’t really understand. When another engine roared to life nearby, we jumped apart.

  My face flushed with heat. “So, now what?”

  Grinning, Haven checked his watch. “Well, your brother is probably about ready to leave the library. Shall we go get him?”

  Haven opened the passenger door for me, and then climbed in on the other side. “Thanks, for bringing me. But before we go too far, I need to tell you something.”

  He linked his fingers through mine once he’d started the car and backed out of the parking spot. “Okay. Spill it.”

  “What your Mom said to me, about what happened before?”

  He nodded.

  “Two years ago, I kind of had this weird psychic overload thing happen. I can’t really explain how it happened. I don’t really understand it myself. Everyone assumed I had some kind of psychotic break. Normally, I just talk to ghosts. Only sometimes can I hear people’s thoughts and sense emotions. I’d been checking out all these books, talking to a couple of other girls who said they were psychic. Trying to control it, and I thought I was doing a great job of,” I made air quotes with my fingers. “Expanding my horizons.”

  I paused, gulped at the air and ignored the nerves churning in my stomach. “Something snapped one day. I tried this experiment. Something about focusing on one person to hear their thoughts or something. And suddenly I could hear everything. Every thought of everyone who came into a room with me. My old school was next to a funeral home and ghosts have a lot to say and never need to sleep. And when they know you can hear them…”

  “Go on.”

  I took a deep breath and released it slowly. I wanted to give him a secret like what he’d given me. Something to prove I trusted him as well. “Think about it. An entire day of teenage thoughts and ghostly mutterings you can’t block out? Not cool. A week of it almost did drive me nuts. And I guess they convinced me too. I mean, I told them I knew what they were thinking, and even when I was right, and I know I was, they pretended like I lied. They didn’t want it to be true. They couldn’t explain it. So they put me in a psych ward for three days and medicated me. I had to see a shrink for almost a year.”

  His fingers tightened around my hand. “What else?”

  It was easier to say the words if I kept my gaze on the tips of my shoes. “Mom believed me, at first. Her grandmother used to have some kind of talent like mine. But Dad”—I swallowed past the anger clogging my throat—“He didn’t want to. He and the doctors convinced her I was mental. Because he knew what it’d mean if I were actually psychic.”

  “What would it mean?”

  “My father had a lot of affairs, Haven. I’d already stopped him once and told him I knew what was going on. I bluffed the details—I didn’t know that much, and didn’t want to find out. But he knew I wouldn’t keep quiet about it if I found out again. He encouraged the idea I was crazy until a few weeks after I’d finally started palming the pills and convincing the shrink nothing happened. I waited up for him.”

  “He’d been at a work conference, or so he’d told us. And he had, at least for the first few days. But when you can see everything people are thinking, it doesn’t exclude your family. I saw clear as day in his mind what he’d been doing and with whom. I wanted to wash my brain out with soap, but not before I made my position on the matter clear. I waited up for him. We knew he wouldn’t be home from the airport until well into the early hours of the morning.”

  “I curled in a wing chair in the living room and watched him put his shoes and coat away, loosen his tie, and then I spoke up. I described some of the very intimate things he’d done with his latest conquest, and then I told him he needed to decide what he wanted, because if I found out anything else, I’d make it my mission in life to tell everyone.”

  “He didn�
�t like that, I guess?”

  “He laughed at first, told me no one would believe me. I told him when you’re psychic, you can find out all kinds of things.” My face flushed at the memory of some of the things I’d said. “I told him I’d ruin his life. And I meant every word, though I’m not sure I could have done it. By then, things were getting better. I’d learned to turn it off and keep it off for the most part. After, we kept our distance. It wasn’t long before Mom found out on her own. He believes I told her, but to be honest, it was his own stupidity. I didn’t have to say a word. It wasn’t one of my finer moments.”

  Haven was silent a moment. “I’m sorry. Losing a parent is one thing. But losing them to their own idiocy and vanity is another thing entirely.”

  “Yes. It is.”

  We stopped in front of the library. I pulled out my phone and texted Grant to let him know we were outside. I twisted in the seat to stare at Haven again. “You know, most people would have focused on the pills, psych ward, and shrink.”

  Haven grinned. “You’re my girl now, remember? According to everyone who matters in high school, that makes you certifiable.” He winked. “Besides, I already knew you were nuts.”

  I rolled my eyes, but the warmth that spread through me at his words couldn’t be ignored. His girl. The words rolled around inside my head, and I struggled to keep a wide smile off my face. I liked the sound of it.

  Grant pushed open the door to the library, a scowl pulling his features. As he opened the back passenger door, the reason became obvious. Bryan followed, but whatever he might have intended to say to Grant was lost when he spotted me in Haven’s car.

  I noted his hands curled into fists before he shoved them in his coat pockets and walked to my door. Despite my wish that he’d walk away, he knocked on the glass.

  Haven didn’t release his grip on my other hand as I rolled down the window. Bryan’s eyes fell on our tangled fingers, and something ugly flashed in his eyes. My heart beat faster. The look of pure loathing he couldn’t quite cover made me want to get as far away as I could.