The Cult of Trump

by Steven Hassan

  Labeling large groups of people on either side of the Trump divide is a mistake. It tends to inflame and incite others, as we have seen, widening and deepening already seemingly irreconcilable divisions. It is also a psychological error. In chapter 4, we looked at the fundamental attribution error, which describes how we tend to attribute another person’s actions to inherent personality characteristics or qualities: if they do something bad, they must be bad. Yet we explain and excuse our own mistakes as a function of circumstance or environment.

  We also looked at confirmation bias—how our minds filter and select information that confirms our own point of view, and dismiss information that does not fit in or negates it. And confirmation bias is certainly not limited to cults. We basically see and hear what we want to, whether we realize it or not, and rationalize away what does not fit our preconceptions and predictions. We find it hard to accept or agree with even well-argued or supported views when they are expressed by a member of the other side. We speak to—and find affirmation from—those of our own political persuasion, but the level of passion is so high that often we do not, or cannot, talk to those across the divide. When all of one’s actions are seen in light of their support or antipathy for Trump, it can be hard to understand another’s point of view and how they are making sense of information. We may find community and comfort on social media or TV, which can keep us in an ideological silo and further inflame interpersonal tensions.

  At those moments, it’s important to remember that it was a process of influence that pushed people into their separate silos and it’s a process of influence—one based on rapport and trust-building—that will get them out. My step-by-step approach, which I call the Strategic Interactive Approach, is based on a fundamental presupposition—that respect, trust-building, and love are stronger than fear, hate, and mind control. It’s hard to hate someone who is genuinely warm, friendly, and nice—at least that’s the case for all but the psychopaths among us.

  HOW CAN YOU HELP YOUR FRIEND OR LOVED ONE?

  The first step is knowledge. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote in 1960, “It is not only important but mentally invigorating to discuss political matters with people whose opinions differ radically from one’s own.… Find out what people are saying, what they are thinking, what they believe. This is an invaluable check to your own ideas. Are you right in what you think or is there a different approach… ?”6 A Trump critic may watch MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and CNN’s Anderson Cooper regularly while their pro-Trump family member is glued to Fox News, Breitbart, or Trinity Broadcasting. Step into the other person’s media world—as painful as that may be. Find out what they are listening to or watching. Do it little by little. I do not recommend spending many hours at a time. Take breaks. Write down notes. When I research a controlling group, I limit my exposure so I can remain more objective. They may use powerful influence techniques and I don’t want in any way to be susceptible. Just showing you care enough to watch can be a big step. You will learn a lot and better understand how your loved one believes what they do. Also, you will be able to talk with them about what they are listening to or watching—though it’s best not to come on too strong.

  Cults use a whole array of techniques to recruit and indoctrinate members—they control behavior, information, thoughts, and emotions. The same is true for the Cult of Trump. In addition, they use loaded language and play upon other psychological mechanisms—the fundamental attribution error, cognitive dissonance, confirmation bias—to render people dependent and obedient. If the person demonstrated a radical personality change, assume the real identity is still there, just submerged. It’s important to remember that while mind control creates a cult self, the authentic self is still there, suppressed by the cult identity. The goal is to reach and reconnect with the authentic self to help empower people to think critically and do a reality test.

  I should say at the outset, do not ever go for a win-lose scenario where you think you will be able to rationally argue a Trump follower out of their worldview. Facts matter, but respect, context, and your communication delivery are key. Your most potent weapon is a good, thoughtful question: Tell me—how did you come to feel so strongly about Donald Trump? What was it that attracted you? What is it about him that makes you think he is fit to be president? Be patient and listen for an answer. When I have asked people this question, I have frequently been told how much they hated Hillary Clinton, how they distrusted her, how corrupt she is. How she would be a continuation of Obama policies. I say to them, “I hear you. I can see how emotional you are about this. But she lost the election and that was years ago. What about today? And going forward?”

  It’s about building rapport and trust, finding common ground, having positive experiences and not getting into arguments. Avoid a win-lose, all-or-nothing, I’m-right-you’re-wrong frame of mind. Definitely reject name calling, even though Trump does it. Learn to identify ad hominem attacks whenever they occur. These are attacks on the person rather than focusing on the substance of the issue. Trump and his supporters use this logical fallacy all the time, but so do Trump critics. It just doesn’t work if we want to build bridges and heal our country.

  HELP PEOPLE GET IN TOUCH WITH THEIR AUTHENTIC SELF

  Deep down, people want to know the truth. They do not like to be lied to, exploited, abused, or taken advantage of, especially by narcissists who are incapable of empathy and love, or who appear to care, but only if you do as they say. Cult leaders practice conditional love—they express love only to those who do what is asked and never question the leader, doctrine, or policy. When Trump cries out at his rallies—“I love you, Indiana!”—it is clear that, even as president, he is reserving his “love” only for those who support him. In my experience, people want to know that the love and acceptance they receive is authentic, and not conditionally offered.

  With true believers, whose very personalities seem to have altered since supporting Trump—or since joining one of the cults within the Cult of Trump—it may help to remind them of who they were before their involvement. Reminiscing, going through photos and old videos, reminding a person of loving family and friendships, can be a powerful way to reactivate a person’s authentic self. Once you have established that rapport, the key is to build upon it, and to educate. Attacking a person’s beliefs, group, or leader, in this case, Trump, does not work, as I have said. Instead, my approach is to talk with the person about other groups or leaders who have lied, cheated, or covered up improprieties and have manipulated their followers—for example, Moon, Hubbard, or LaRouche. I ask them what they think about these people.

  In helping this person return to their authentic self, it’s easy to make mistakes. If you respond in an emotionally balanced way, the chances are much better that you will succeed. Focus on areas that you can agree on. You want to open yourself up by saying, “Teach me—share with me why I should change my beliefs to be more like yours.” Once the person has revealed their point of view, you might ask them to listen to yours. You might say, “I want to get your feedback and share another perspective.”

  You are basically walking people through a psycho-educational set of experiences based on your respecting them, being thoughtful and kind, listening to them, and looking for, and sharing, things you have in common. The goal is to let them tell you what else needs to happen for them to wake up. That might include talking with people—former Trump supporters—who once believed as they do and can tell them why they left.

  The best way to counteract resistance as well as outright thought stopping—and in the case of some NAR groups, singing, praying, and speaking in tongues—is to avoid triggering them in the first place. Thought stopping is a defense mechanism that is triggered in direct response to what are perceived as negative comments. Again, be careful not to make remarks that are critical of the leader, the group, or the doctrine, such as “Trump is crazy” or “Trump supporters are stupid.” Develop strategies, such as taking deep breaths if you feel like you are getting trigge
red and becoming angry. Self-control is vital.

  WORK ON DEVELOPING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

  Maybe you had a good relationship with a certain friend or family member in the past but since the election you have stopped talking about politics. Maybe you have stopped talking altogether. The key is to open up communication in an honest, respectful manner.

  In his Forward piece, David Weissman describes how he was a self-proclaimed troll for Trump until a conversation started, in a series of tweets, with comedian Sarah Silverman.7 In his tweets, Weissman accused Silverman and all liberals of caring more about undocumented immigrants than about military veterans. To his surprise, Silverman responded—and in a way that was respectful and inviting. What followed was a months-long dialogue about issues such as immigration, gun reform, and abortion. “Not only did I learn from her, but I learned from her followers who showed me why they fight for these rights. I discovered sources with journalistic integrity, which debunked the lies and generalizations that conservative media often report. I slowly began reevaluating my principles,” Weissman said.8 He no longer identifies as a Trump supporter. Weissman described leaving the fold as a kind of waking up—the whole experience was like being in a trance. When he started publicly questioning and researching the issues, he was hacked and shunned by Trump’s supporters.9 This is often the case for ex-members—they are often treated like a traitor or enemy. But it usually just confirms to them that their involvement was cultlike.10

  Silverman has done even more to heal the divisiveness of this country. She invited Trump supporters on her Hulu TV show, I Love You America, to have an open dialogue—no fighting, no name calling. “When you’re one-on-one with someone who doesn’t agree with you, or whose ideology is different than yours, when you’re face to face, your porcupine needles go down,” Silverman would later say in an interview with New York magazine’s Frank Rich. To her great surprise, “I fell in love with them. I had a great time with them and I felt comfortable.” “I’m trying to be open,” she explained. “I’m finding if I do engage with someone who is angry at me, or angry, and I’m a place where they can put that anger… it’s almost always a good experience, because more than anything, all of us, what we have in common is, we want to feel seen. We want to feel like we exist.”11

  Silverman is a role model for us all, no matter our political affiliation. She exemplifies the approach I’ve been advocating. As a famous comedian, she has a lot of power to influence people to engage with her. Bill Maher, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Fallon, John Oliver, and other television hosts do a huge service to bring on people who support Trump, act respectfully, and ask good questions. It will likely get Trump folks to watch their shows, perhaps for the first time.

  Rapport and trust building are absolutely key to working with any member of a high-demand group, as I have said. Even if a true Trump believer holds on to their views, the avenues of communication have been opened. The healthier your precult relationship, and the stronger the member’s sense of identity prior to being in the cult, the easier it will be to reconnect and get the person to open up.

  Reestablishing regular positive contact, even if you haven’t talked or seen each other in a long while, is very important. I spoke to a man who bet his brother five dollars that Hillary would win the 2016 election. After the election, he told me that he made out a five-dollar check, wrote the words “Fuck you” on it, and mailed it. He has not spoken to his brother for more than a year. Please do not follow this example. If you have done something similar, please apologize and ask for forgiveness and a redo. Be nice. Tell your loved one that you miss them and that you want to find common ground where you can respect each other’s point of view. Once you reconnect, avoid falling into destructive patterns, like trying to prove your position is right. On the other hand, avoiding interacting about substantive issues is not enough. The other’s involvement—with the Cult of Trump or another group—will not likely get better on its own.

  The goal is to talk in a way that helps cast doubt on their involvement without berating them or making them feel stupid. People hate to admit they are wrong; let them come to their own realizations.12 A 2011 study by the RAND Corporation concluded that “factors associated with leaving street gangs, religious cults, right-wing extremist groups, and organized crime groups” include positive social ties and an organic disillusionment with the group’s beliefs or ideology. Close relationships are critical in helping people get out of groups and stay out.

  Actress Leah Remini left Scientology after being a dedicated and high-profile member for more than thirty-five years. She has since produced and starred with Mike Rinder, a former forty-six-year Scientology member and leader, in an Emmy Award–winning series on A&E called Scientology and its Aftermath. (I was pleased to be on an episode.) She decided to leave the group after experiencing troubling things when she spoke out about her friend Shelly Miscavige, wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige. Shelly Miscavige has not engaged in normal social contact for a long period. “I believe that people should be able to question things. I believe that people should value family, and value friendships, and hold those things sacrosanct,” Remini said in an interview in 2013, soon after she left the group. “That for me, that’s what I’m about. It wouldn’t matter what it was, simply because no one is going to tell me how I need to think, no one is going to tell me who I can, and cannot, talk to.”13

  HELP THEM SEE FROM DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

  One remedy for blind faith is to see the world from different perspectives. If your loved one is stuck in their beliefs—about Trump or anything concerning—try a role-switching exercise with them. Begin by asking them to teach you how to see Trump or his policies through their eyes. Tell them you really want to understand them. Ask them to teach you so well that you could step into their shoes and talk from their perspective. Do it and have them critique your performance. Keep refining it until they say you have it right.

  Then invite them to reciprocate and do the same exercise. Ask them if they are willing to step into your shoes and talk from your perspective. Be prepared for a long silence. Long silences are very important to empowering people to think for themselves. You do not want to rush people you are interacting with. You want them to think and reflect. If you make a big effort to understand them, they will be more likely to reciprocate, providing a great opportunity. Make sure you have your points well formulated ahead of time. This book is filled with specific points about Trump’s use of influence tactics. Show them Trump through your eyes and then let them mirror your perspective. Stepping out of our own shoes and seeing things from another’s perspective is incredibly powerful.

  My father did a version of this technique with me early in my deprogramming in 1976. The intervention started out involuntarily—he took away the crutches I was using after my van accident and would not let me call the group. “How would you feel if it was your son who met a controversial group, dropped out of college, quit his job, donated his bank account, and you didn’t see him for over a year? How would you feel?” he asked me, with tears in his eyes. I had never seen him cry before. It forced me to put myself in his shoes, as a parent. After reflecting on it, I told him that I would probably be doing exactly what he was doing. I then asked him what he wanted from me. He asked me to commit to listening, with an open mind, to what the ex-members wanted to share for five days. I made him promise to let me go back to the group if I wanted to, fully intending to do exactly that. Fortunately, on the final day I had my wake-up moment about Moon being a liar. But it began with my father’s genuine caring—and a strategic switch-perspective intervention.

  HELP UNDO THEIR PHOBIAS

  The world is a scary place for Trump’s true believers—filled with migrant invaders, Muslim terrorists, the deep state, and a cabal of global elites, not to mention radical Democrats, liberal socialists, and people like Hillary Clinton and the philanthropist George Soros who want to take down our country. Fearmongering and phobia indoctrination are among Tr
ump’s main tools for recruiting and rallying his base. He issues threatening messages at rallies and in his tweets. On April 12, 2019, he tweeted out a video of Minnesota Democratic representative Ilhan Omar speaking to the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) about how Muslims had been losing access to civil liberties since 9/11. In the Trump tweet, Omar’s comments were intercut with images of the twin towers falling and the caption “We Will Never Forget.” Trump’s tweet was almost tame compared to some of the images and videos attacking Omar put out by alt-right and Christian right websites. In his phobia- and fearmongering, Trump has a great deal of help—from Fox News, Christian right groups like NAR, and the Russian propaganda machine, who are all spinning out their own frightening imagery and rhetoric.

  Legitimate fears warn us of real dangers. Phobias occur when fears persist in a conditioned and irrational way, detached from any real danger. They can be triggered by a cue that initiates a cycle of fearful images, thoughts, and feelings. The cue can be an internal or external stimulus, such as a thought, image, word, smell, taste, feeling, or behavior. Fear of public speaking, heights, snakes, and airplane travel are common phobias. An estimated 19 million Americans suffer from phobias. Though many arise spontaneously, cult leaders use them intentionally, implanting phobias that often target their members’ underlying anxieties—in the case of Trump, fear of jobs being taken away by immigrants or the supposed white Christian way of life disappearing.