Arranged: A Masters and Mercenaries Novella

by Lexi Blake

  “You didn’t change.”

  She stopped, taking a deep breath because he’d startled her. She’d thought she was the last one left downstairs. “I was down in the locker room talking to Kori and her friend Sarah. I didn’t have clothes down there. I changed up in my bedroom. I didn’t think it would be seemly to walk around the club in nothing but a towel.”

  “Some people walk around here perfectly naked. I don’t think anyone would mind.” He was sitting on one of the spanking benches. The whole place had been cleaned by a group of efficient submissives and one or two tops who helped supervise them. Even when they were cleaning, they’d still played with the tops, offering up saucy comments that led to playful swats.

  This was a place of happiness, and yet she felt so damn hollow.

  “It would feel odd after-hours. There’s something magical about the club when it’s all lit up, something that lends itself to fantasy. Now it’s back to reality.” Back to figuring out what to do about their marriage. “Do you want to walk up with me? I can change and make us some tea. We should talk.”

  He was silent for a moment, his head hanging low. “I didn’t like it, Day.”

  Her heart constricted. There was no anger left inside her, only a deep sense of loss. She moved toward him, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I know. I’m so sorry I put you through it. I shouldn’t have. I pushed you. That’s why we need to talk.”

  He groaned and swung his legs, jumping down from the bench. “You people talk too much. I’ve decided to forgive you for not talking to me about this in the first place, Day. You were right. I hate the talking.”

  She held her hands up. “All right. I won’t mention it again, but we have to make some decisions and soon.”

  He stood in front of her. “What kind of decisions? Whether or not you leave me? Why do you need this so much?”

  How to explain it to him? “It’s a part of me.”

  It was a part of him, too. She was so sure of it, but it couldn’t work if he never let himself be.

  “I was embarrassed. I didn’t like all those people watching me like that.”

  “Yet you don’t mind having five or six sex tapes on the Internet at any given time.” The words slipped from her mouth. Maybe she was still angry.

  He shrugged as though none of it bothered him at all. Not the sex tapes. Not the million and one articles about his rampaging hormones. The only thing that bothered him was the one thing she needed. “The sex tapes are normal.”

  Frustration welled inside her. “This is normal, Kash. You use that word like it has meaning. And unless you’ve got the last name Kardashian or make your living off porn, I assure you having a bunch of sex tapes out in the public domain isn’t something most people do.”

  He stared at her for a moment. “You’re jealous.”

  She shook her head, ready to end this blasted evening. “Believe what you want to believe, Kash. I’m going to bed.”

  “I was embarrassed,” he said quietly.

  Which was exactly why this could never work. She stopped. The last week suddenly seemed so much longer than a mere seven days. “Like I said, I won’t ask this of you again. I didn’t ask this of you tonight. You volunteered.”

  “Because I was jealous.”

  She sighed. She’d known it at the time, known better than to allow it to continue. But the idea that he was willing to try had been far too tantalizing. “I told you I wasn’t going to have sex.”

  He leaned against the bench. “Then what’s the point? Explain it to me. I’ve been sitting out here for hours trying to figure it out. I don’t want this, Day. I don’t want a wall between us, but I can’t seem to find a way around it. I tried tonight.”

  He had. She’d watched him struggle with it, completely unable to come up with a way to connect to him. When she’d tried stroking him, he tensed up. When she’d softened her words, she got the same response. “I know and it didn’t work. It’s not your fault.”

  She was fighting against years of ingrained belief that he couldn’t be a man and show weakness. Oh, he could show drunkenness or promiscuity and still be a man. He could act like an idiot at a party, but this was forbidden. To show this kind of vulnerability was not something he could do and might never be able to accept about himself.

  Was she willing to live without a piece of herself? Could she take that part of her soul and wrap it up and put it in a closet somewhere, never to be taken out again? She wasn’t at all sure she could.

  “I don’t want you unhappy,” he said quietly.

  She reached for his hand. “And I don’t want you unhappy.”

  Kash brought her hand to his chest, placing it over his heart. “Do I let you go? I don’t want that, either. If we divorce, I’ll be back in the position of giving up my throne. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe we should think about abolishing the crown altogether.”

  And give the power over to a group of men who thought women should stay in the house and not make waves? Who argued with her over whether or not girls should be educated? “Why are you questioning this? You’re a good king.”

  “I haven’t been good for five years,” he said, his tone weary. He let her hand go and started to pace, his body moving with a restless energy. “I shut down after my project blew up. I told myself it was all my fault and I gave up. That’s what I was thinking about tonight. I tried to clear my damn head, but I couldn’t because I knew everyone was watching me.”

  Was that really what the problem had been? He’d never shown any issues with their play before, but then they’d always been alone. It was only when Tasha had threatened to out them that he’d flipped out and lost his damn mind.

  What would one of the world’s most famous men need to relax, to center himself? Would he need one thing for himself? One piece of his life that was utterly private?

  “Kash, stop pacing. Sit down, for a moment, please.” She eased behind him as he lowered himself to the bench, the expression on his face still and sullen. “Can you give me a few minutes? I want to try something. This isn’t sexual play. This isn’t me being your top. Just for a few moments, let me be your wife.”

  “I don’t know what that means, Day.”

  She needed to show him. She eased the leather vest off his shoulders and put her hands there, stroking out and away, as though she could brush the tension from him. “It means whatever we need it to mean. It means that sometimes I need you to stop being the king for a while and let yourself be a man.”

  “I don’t get to be a man. I can be a celebrity. I can be a king, but I can’t be just a man.”

  That was where he was wrong. She started in on his shoulders, finding the pressure points and easing them. And perhaps this was where she’d gone wrong. She hadn’t given him true aftercare because the scene had been so stilted and rushed. Day leaned over and kissed the back of his neck. “Who told you that?”

  He breathed deeply and she could feel him starting to relax. “My father. He didn’t tell me. He told Shray. He told me I could be anything I wanted because I didn’t matter, though he didn’t use those words, exactly. I got the gist.”

  She worked her way down one muscled arm and toward his hand. “I doubt he meant it like that. I know he loved you.”

  “Did he? Perhaps then, but I know I wasn’t the one he taught to be king, and I screwed everything up.”

  “Because of what happened at the lab?”

  He nodded slowly, but already she could see how much easier he was breathing, how he’d started to let her lead his body. “I should have been more careful. I should have known.”

  She massaged down his other arm. Sometimes he was like a giant tiger and he needed to be petted or he roared and roared. He needed to be eased into real intimacy because he distrusted it so. “I should have known someone would steal my car last year. I should have known that walking in that parking garage late at night would be a mistake. It’s my fault he stole my purse, too.”

  Kash moved quickly, turning
and catching her hand. His eyes were cold as ice. “Who?”

  Another mistake. She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “He knocked me down and took my car. The police found it on the beach two days later. They never caught the man. Was that my fault, Kash?”

  He frowned but eased up on her wrist, turning and offering his back again. Such a touchy tiger. “Of course not.”

  She smoothed her palms down his back, sending a shudder through him. “Should I have not driven again?”

  “No. You should not have. Had we been married at the time, I would have escorted you everywhere. Your lovers were quite lazy if they did not. Nor should you have been allowed to walk alone at night, and I will ensure that you have all the bodyguards. Women, of course, fierce women who would slaughter anyone who dares to look at you.”

  She groaned but wrapped her arms around him. She loved him. So much. This was the Kash she adored. Why couldn’t he see that he could be anything he wanted to be when they were alone? “I didn’t have a lover at the time. And don’t change the subject. What happened wasn’t your fault, but how you reacted to it was.”

  He leaned back into her. “You’re not the first person to point that out to me.” His head rested back, bringing their cheeks together. “I don’t want to think right now. I want you touching me. I want you needing me.”

  Longing rushed in again. How easy it was to turn the tide. “I always need you.”

  “Tell me what you want me to do.” He whispered the words. “Tell me how to please you. I won’t think anymore. I won’t think about eyes being on me or my past sins. If you tell me to stop, I can do it now. We’re alone.”

  “Are you ashamed of how I make you feel?”

  He sat up straight, letting go of her hands, and she could feel the distance between them. “We should go to bed. You were right. We have to talk about this. We have to find a way to work through our differences because I need you to understand that we can’t go on like this.”

  She wanted so badly to reach out to him, to have not ended the moment, but the thought of something sacred to her being a dirty secret for him wasn’t manageable.

  “Your Majesties,” a deep voice said, and the bodyguard on duty stepped into the space. Wade Rycroft was a huge man with a slow Texas accent. She’d spoken to him a few times, enjoying his stories of living on a ranch with five brothers and more cattle than one could count. Now, though, his usually jovial face was set in deep lines.

  Kash stood, stepping in front of her as though the man was going to hurt her somehow. Or perhaps he was embarrassed by the way she was dressed. “Yes?”

  “I’ve been informed there’s a problem back in Loa Mali,” he explained. “Your mother has been hospitalized. We’ve got a private jet waiting to take you back.”

  His hand was suddenly in hers again. Though his face showed no expression at all, he tangled their fingers together. “Of course. We’ll be down in a moment.”

  She followed him silently upstairs, wondering what the next few days would cost her husband.

  Chapter Ten

  Kash stood outside his mother’s room, shaking his head at Simon Weston. “What exactly does that mean?”

  Weston looked like he hadn’t slept in a couple of days. The strain of taking over the household security, dealing with the press, and trying to find a killer had likely worn on the man. He’d probably thought this would be a cakewalk, a fun job that would be almost like a vacation.

  Kash had fooled him.

  “It means that I found a vial of the poison in your former guard’s room. I had an anonymous tip come in that Rai’s new bride had been to Australia recently.”

  “Her mother lives there.”

  “When I searched the room he used here in the palace, I found the vial.”

  Kash shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. Rai hates me because of something I did before he got married. Namely, his wife. He might cut my balls off if he had the chance, but he would never try to kill me. Not like that. He might do some froufrou historical duel thing because he watches far too much Masterpiece Theater, but he would never poison me.”

  Simon’s expression didn’t change a bit. “I understand that it seems convenient, but I did have him arrested. At this point he’s being detained for possession of an illegal substance, but to hold him further, the police have to be able to announce the real charges. That’s why he’s not being held at the police station. He’s in a guarded room here in the palace. I wanted to get the okay from you to go public so I can have him moved to the city jail.”

  He wasn’t about to have his best friend slammed into a jail cell. “No. There will be no charges. He didn’t do this. Have him released immediately and let him know I want to talk to him. If I know Rai, he’s got his own theories. And tell him not to punch me. It’s been a long day. He can punch me later.”

  Actually, that wasn’t a half bad idea. He was sick and tired of missing his best friend. He should allow Rai to beat the shit out of him, admit to having a tiny penis that couldn’t possibly have pleasured Rai’s wife, and see if they could move on.

  Or he could ask Day what she thought he should do. She might be able to get him out of a beating. He didn’t really care what anyone except her thought of his penis. Only Dayita needed to know it was a glorious beast that brought pleasure to its queen.

  “Kash, as your acting head of security, I have to tell you that this is a mistake,” Weston began.

  “No, tossing Rai in jail when it’s obvious he’s been set up is a mistake,” Kash shot back.

  “Or we’re making the real culprit feel like he’s gotten away with something and giving ourselves some time to figure this out.”

  And allow Rai to hate him even more? “No. I want him released within the hour.”

  Weston’s jaw tightened. “This is a mistake.”

  “It’s my mistake. I won’t allow him to rot in jail for something I know he hasn’t done. Look in other places. CCTV showed nothing?”

  “We believe the Scotch was brought in with the poison already inside.”

  “Then whoever this is has his conspirators. It’s someone familiar with how the household is run, but not familiar with my habits.”

  Weston seemed to stop, as though that statement brought on some new idea. “Yes, you’re right. Your own men would have known that Jamil typically joins you for a drink. They would have known he could potentially ruin everything. I see what you’re saying. I have an idea.”

  “As long as your idea gets Rai out of his hellhole prison.” One day Rai would forgive him for deflowering his bride—before she was his bride. But there would be no forgiveness if Rai himself was deflowered by some rough and tumble prison love.

  “I’m calling now. And I’ll set up a meeting that might be interesting.” He pulled out his phone. “And Kash, she’s not as bad as your lord chamberlain made her sound. I’m sorry for that. He told me she was on death’s door, but the doctors claim she could be back on her feet in a few days if she’ll rest. She’s responding to the medication well. She’s quite the survivor, your mother.”

  Hanin had always been a drama queen.

  Kash shook Weston’s hand and nodded to Michael Malone, who was standing guard outside his mother’s room. He was relieved that she was better than he’d expected, but he’d seen her asleep in her bed, looking so pale and fragile.

  He closed the door behind him. His mother was still sleeping and he didn’t want to disturb her. Like Day was sleeping. He’d carried her out of the car and up to his room. He wasn’t sure why, but he’d passed her own room by completely, choosing to settle her into his bed.

  The two women who meant the most to him were sleeping and he couldn’t. He was restless and wanting, and he wasn’t even sure what he wanted.

  Kash stared out the window of his mother’s room, the slow sound of the monitors forming an odd rhythm. Each beep was another second of life, another breath, one more heartbeat. How many beeps would his mother get?

  He stared
out over the beach where he’d played as a young child, where he and his brother had built sandcastles and then pretended they were monsters destroying grand cities. And their mother would laugh at their antics. His father would usually be at some meeting or other. After Shray was old enough, it had been only Kash and his mother playing on the beach.

  He’d run from that life, a pendulum swinging as far from his father’s regimented existence as he could. As though he had to choose. The king or the playboy. Nothing else. Nothing in between. No compromises. He had to be a king like his father or a rogue so full of himself he never, ever cared about criticism.

  Did he have to be one or the other, or could he find his own path, one informed by his father’s love but free of his prejudices? One where he could be both king and man. Both sovereign and husband.

  “What do you see when you look out there, son?”

  He turned and moved to her bed, sinking to one knee in front of her. “Should I call the doctor?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I’m feeling better. I caught a terrible cold. It settled into my chest, but I’m breathing better now.”

  And any secondary infection would be made worse by the cancer. She would be weak and unable to fight off something Kash could easily handle.

  “What do you see? While you’ve been gone, I’ve been thinking so much about your childhood. I wonder how you see it when you look back. Everyone asks you questions. I try not to bother you with them because I know how often you’re surrounded by reporters and advisors and politicians, but I need to know. I worry we don’t see the same things.”

  He glanced back toward the window. What did he see? He saw sand and sun and rolling waves. He saw ghosts. “I see the beach where I played with Shray when I was young. I see the beach where you would take me to play long after Father took Shray under his wing to teach him.”

  His mother frowned. “To teach him?”

  “To be king. When Shray was a teenager, Father told him he couldn’t play with me at the beach anymore. He had to be better than me because he was going to be king. Father never came to the beach. He never played.”