by Nicky Shanks
“I wonder if Lucy is okay after all of that earlier.” Julie’s voice is small. “She can’t be thrilled that her new boyfriend was brawling outside of a bar like that.”
Shit. I forgot about Lucy.
Julie will never marry me if she finds out I brought Lucy home with me—even if I didn’t sleep with her.
Her honey blonde hair tickles my nose as I turn and pull her tighter against me. “To be honest, I couldn’t care less about her or Casey right now. I’m not going to dwell on the fact that he’s a dick, and I’m sure as hell not going to sit here and pretend that he’s my real brother. You can spank me later for it if you want.” I wink and she slaps my shoulder playfully; her smile matches mine and it makes my heart melt.
My mind wanders and I think about her in the kitchen, wearing nothing but an apron.
This “not having sex” thing isn’t going to work for me. She smells so fucking good…I have to violently shake my head to bring myself back to reality.
I don’t care about anything but her.
My Julie.
I remember the naïve Julie who I could hardly be within a few feet of. The Julie that had absolutely no idea what she was doing to my insides.
What she still does to me.
She takes my fucking breath away.
She smiles and squeezes my leg as it brushes against her. I make sure when we’re near each other that we’re touching at all times. Since I woke up from my accident, all I can think about is how her skin feels against mine and how lucky I am to be able to touch her in the first place. Being with Julie makes life bearable again, and without her…well, what else is there to really live for?
“What are you going to do on Monday when my classes start?” Her long eyelashes look like strands of silk caressing the tops of her blushed cheeks. “I’d hate for you to sit in the apartment all alone while I’m at school all day…maybe you should make amends with Casey.”
I snort. “What the hell for? You’re right, he’s a lost cause. He wants you and I’m not letting him within a hundred feet of this place.”
Her fingers twist around my hair and it drives me fucking wild. “Oliver Frankford Jackson, you are frustrating and stubborn.” I lick my lips and press them onto hers. My lust for her grows so fast inside of my sweatpants that I have to force myself to stop touching her.
Because the doctor is right…now my side hurts from the blood rushing down south.
My face heats instantly. “I can’t wait to marry you, sunshine. I can’t think of anything in life I want more than to see you walking down the aisle to me. It’s going to be perfect—just like you.” I kiss the tips of her fingers and see tears form in the corners of her eyes.
“Is this real?” Her whisper reaches my ears. “Sometimes this is all so crazy that I have to remind myself that it’s not a dream.”
I inhale deeply and pull her down onto the bed with me. As she snuggles into her space at my side, my chest is about to explode.
“Baby, you gotta believe me when I say this to you: You’re my dream. I dreamed about you before I even knew you. You’re everything I’ve wanted without even knowing I wanted it. That’s why I want you to be my wife someday, Julie. You make me into a person I never even dreamed about being, and now that I know that person, I can’t ever let you go.”
It will always be her.
It feels like I’ve waited for her forever, like I’ve been just living life by a script until she burned it down to show me what real love can do to someone. Real love makes you weak; it strips you down until you surrender to it. It can be dark and emotional…and amazing and beautiful.
“Hey, are you okay?” Her fingertips find my jawline and blood rushes to my lower half like a waterfall. “How do you know the right things to say to me all the time?”
My laugh is colorful and echoes in the darkening room. “Not all of the time, baby.” I reach over and turn the bedside lamp off, but I can still see her in the darkness. She fiddles with her left ring finger and a deep hole burns inside my stomach. “I’m sorry I don’t have a ring for you yet.”
Her smile lights up her face. “I don’t care about that.”
“But I do.” I bring her fingers to my lips and playfully nibble on them. “I want to give you everything, Julie. You deserve everything in life.”
I’ll always do anything in my power for her.
Or die trying.
I chased her and fought for her for so long, and look what happened.
I finally have her. I finally have what I want.
No one is going to take her from me.
There isn’t a set of rules that will keep me from getting my heart smashed by her, either.
All I can do is hold onto rule number three…and keep the secrets from her that will make her leave. Even though the rules haven’t helped me with Julie at all since I’ve met her.
I broke my first rule: Don’t let your guard down. I broke that fucking rule so hard that it knocked me on my ass and flipped my entire life around…and upside down.
The second rule—don’t take anything for granted—I shattered right through, and it’s not something I like to remember this soon. I nearly died after I let loose and allowed myself to put my guard down; I built that brick wall Julie smashed through over years and years of hurt and betrayal. Still, I walked away with my life back in my own hands and the light in my darkness still by my side.
Now, here we are.
Smashing these rules down one by one like bricks.
I can’t let the other two fall—it’s all I have left to hold onto.
One man’s secret is another man’s ammunition.
I have to make amends with Casey before he tries to shoot me down.
Chapter Three
Julie
Whatever kind of person I’ve become in the last few months, it isn’t someone I recognize. I’m smarter in the choices I make, sure, but in the department where Oliver Jackson is concerned—I make the worst decisions most of the time.
How can I do this to him?
I can’t marry him. I really wanted to say no. I wanted to plead with him and shake his muscular body hoping that some sense would get knocked into it somewhere. What is he thinking? I just started to get my life back together from the wrath of Brandon, and he goes and does something like this. It isn’t without surprise, of course, and he plays on that like a silky-smooth violin chord.
He knows Casey has some sort of weird feelings for me.
I frown as Oliver breathes deeply against my bare shoulder. This time, he doesn’t take his usual place behind me, breathing into my hair. Something’s changed since he woke up in the hospital, like there’s an aroma to my skin that he can’t get enough of. Regardless of whatever’s going on with Oliver, the few college courses I signed up for start in three days, and my stomach is churning. I’m nervous—I haven’t been in a classroom in over four years.
The moonlight dances on the naked skin peeking out from the sheet that barely covers his ass. He’s been sleeping naked for the past few nights because the pain meds make his skin feel like he’s on fire. I smile and blush, knowing he isn’t awake to catch me trying to examine whichever parts of his body I can in the glow of the moon. A dog howls outside the apartment building and all of my thoughts scatter, zipping too fast for me to catch them all again and focus.
Oliver sighs into my shoulder and tightens his grip on the hand he’s holding. The pressure of his arm snaking around my body to pull me on top of him with little effort surprises me, but he manages to steady me on his hips and his bright teeth glimmer in the glow of the moonlight. The beautiful rhythm of his lungs expanding against my thighs excites me, and I’m only three seconds from letting him swallow me whole and not looking back.
“You know we can’t,” I whisper. The dry air puffing from my lungs makes me cough. “The doctor was adamant about no physical activity, Oliver.”
His smooth laugh tickles my burning skin. “Come on, sunshine. Please don’t do this
to me.”
I bite my lips so I can’t smile at his fake pout. “I need water—do you want some?” I quickly shift my body away from his and glare back at him. “I know you won’t last the whole five weeks, so I’ll compromise with you. Just…be a big boy about it, okay?”
I know he wants to argue. “Fine. What’s your proposition?”
“Two weeks. Maybe you’ll be healed enough where—if we’re careful—I won’t hurt you.”
His laugh returns to echo in my mind. “You’re not going to hurt me. You weigh like—”
I glare at him and his voice trails off. There are times when he sticks his foot so far into his mouth that it’s hard to believe he’s twenty-five and not fifteen. Still, that’s a thing I love about him. He’s not afraid to bare himself, and most of the time it’s too goofy to be mad at for very long.
“Okay, two weeks,” he agrees.
I slide back into my spot next to him, forgetting that I actually do want a glass of water. He leans up and kisses my forehead before he stands, bare naked ass and all. I don’t bother looking away because if I do, he’ll get offended and wonder why I’m so shy looking at his godlike frame so…up close and personal.
Oliver disappears into the bathroom, returning with a small glass of tap water from the sink. Before handing me the glass, he puckers his lips comically and leans in for me to kiss him. I smack my lips against his cheek and he chuckles, finally handing me the glass so I can gulp the cold liquid. I don’t know if I’m going to last an entire two weeks, either. I’m definitely not going to last the five weeks, and I’m glad I could blame it on him and not expose myself.
“So, what time are your classes on Monday? Do you need me to drive you?” I know it’s coming from a good place, but I don’t need him dropping me off at school on my first day. It’s going to be rough and awkward enough without my rich fiancé making a scene.
Wait.
I feel gross calling him that.
“Oh, my first class is at eight, but I can drive myself. You can’t drive yet, remember?” I giggle and hope he snuggles into me and goes back to sleep. I angle my body like it was before, but he senses that something isn’t right.
“Julie, I’m not incapable of living—I can drive. But, I get it—you don’t want your fiancé dropping you off.” He smiles and pulls me down onto his chest. “I get butterflies in my stomach when I say that out loud.”
I really want to stop talking about this.
That damn piece of paper is still in the pocket of my jeans on the floor.
I can’t marry Oliver until I know what to do about it.
“I know that feeling.” I yawn against his chest and he tightens his grip. “Oliver? If you don’t mind, maybe I can go to lunch with Staci and Nora tomorrow? I haven’t seen them lately.”
I feel him nod his head. “You aren’t my slave, baby. You can do whatever you want. You don’t need permission. I do appreciate the heads-up, though—I like knowing where you are in the event of whatever crazy shit seems to happen around us.” He laughs and his body shakes, making my ear vibrate and tickling my skin. “I love you, Julie. You’re my person.”
“Your person? What does that mean?”
His yawn electrifies my body. “It means that you’re everything to me.”
I don’t answer and let him drift back off to sleep, holding my body against his and caging me enough where it’s too irresistible not to fall asleep on his warm chest.
***
“Good morning, sunshine,” Oliver breathes against my neck and kisses the curve of my shoulder. The strap of my tank top has fallen down and he’s able to nibble at my collarbone freely. “My beautiful and insanely sexy future wife.” My heart skips a few beats when his breathy, sleepy voice penetrates my dream and pops it like a bubble. I snake my arm around his neck and meet his lips with mine; I don’t even care that I could have morning breath or think about running into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I don’t know what I was dreaming about, but it sure put me into a good mood waking up.
Of course, I wake up next to Oliver, and that’s something to be in a good mood about.
His boyish grin slays me. “What time are you meeting Nora and Staci?”
“I don’t know, I have to text them.” I ignore the fact that he’s eyeballing me; he hates that I do everything at the last minute. But he always forgets one thing: If we hadn’t been smashed together at the last minute, we probably wouldn’t be where we are right now.
“Okay, baby. I’m going to get up; I have some business I need to take care of this morning. Are you going to be okay without my full attention?” There’s laughter in his voice, but I know he’s halfway being serious.
I nod and stay silent as he stands up naked again, this time with the daylight breaking into the room and illuminating his already-perfect skin. He doesn’t say anything to direct attention to his rock-hard morning wood, but my eyes can’t escape it.
He faces me full-frontal and walks out of the room backward, grabbing a pair of boxers on his way out. I know he’s toying with me, but there isn’t much he can do—including being naked—that won’t get my attention.
I find my phone on the bedside table and text Nora first. She replies instantly with confirmation that she can meet me for lunch at noon. Staci takes a bit longer—I think she’s hesitating for some reason, because every time I try to talk to her about Oliver…her voice tenses and she quickly changes the subject.
Once she agrees to meet with us, I pull on one of Oliver’s t-shirts over my tank top and my bare legs underneath my shorts shiver when the chill of the morning air in the apartment reaches them. The sound of the shower running echoes in the hallway, and when I see his naked silhouette through the steamy shower curtain, heat rushes through my entire body…I’m frozen where I stand, gawking at him.
“Come in here.” His deep voice startles me. “I know you want to.”
I blush and shake my head, even knowing that he can’t see me. “I’m going to brush my teeth. I’m meeting Staci and Nora at noon.”
He laughs and shakes his shaggy, wet hair. “You have time for a shower with me, then.”
My breath catches as the shower curtain opens and his naked, wet body is on full display for me. Steam billows around his bare legs and I find myself in a trance. The water drips off his thick lips as he smiles knowingly at me.
“Julie.” His serious voice breaks through my fuzzy head. “You know you want to.”
“I-I want to,” I choke out and swallow so hard it feels like a baseball is in my throat. He opens the curtain wider and laughs because I’m still gawking. “Just give me a minute, okay?” The panic in my voice must be bleeding through, because he nods and closes the curtain again.
Okay, crunch time.
I’m getting in that shower.
The chilly air hits my naked skin when I slip the last piece of clothing off my body. I lay my panties on the floor next to his boxers and try to shake the goosebumps off my skin. This isn’t like me—I’m not that comfortable being naked in the first place, and when I open that curtain, he’s going to see more of me than I want. It’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before, but the shower…it’s such a personal place.
Oliver’s long arm reaches out and the heat from the shower radiates to my skin. Without saying a word, he pulls me into the stall with him and turns my body so the water hits my skin, wetting the hair around my face.
My gaze trails down his torso and rests on the deep stitches on his abdomen. I frown and reach out to touch them, but quickly pull my fingers back carefully so I don’t hurt him.
“Baby, it’s okay.” His silky voice caresses my cheek. “You can touch me; I’m not going to break.”
A laugh escapes the back of my throat. “I just don’t want to put you through any extra pain. I want you to heal so we can get back to normal.”
“What the hell is even normal around here?” His laugh billows through the steam and he doesn’t hesitate to grab my b
ody tightly and press himself against me. “I want you to touch me.” His fingers find mine and he places them on his chest; his heart is beating so hard that it feels like it’s going to burst from his hard, wet chest. His erection is pressing against my hip and I don’t know if it’s the hot water or some break from sanity, but my feet rise onto tiptoes and my tongue enters his mouth without me even thinking about it first.
He moans and locks his lips around mine, pushing me against the cool wall of the shower. I don’t have any more defenses, and I knew this would happen if I got in here with him. He deepens our kiss and his hands explore my lower back before finding the curve of my ass and squeezing gently.
“I’m so fucking in love with you.” He breathes into my neck before picking me up despite my swatting hands. He seems to be in control of his pain and swings my legs around his body so I clutch my thighs around his back. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Julie.”
I giggle and tug on his hair, his eyes filled with wildfire. “All I did was need a ride.”
He sucks in air and devours my lips, crushing our tongues together. “Oh, you’re about to get a ride, baby.” I’m surprised at how little effort it takes on his part to ease inside of me before I can fully protest; it feels too good to make him stop. I don’t even care that we aren’t using protection…again.
We feed off of each other’s moans until the shower starts to shake. I can feel Oliver’s body tense and then lose a little momentum like he’s losing strength. Underneath his ragged breath, he chuckles and kisses my jawline before releasing my legs.
“Bend over,” he demands, taking a small chunk of my hair and tugging. I hear his teeth grinding so loudly that it’s almost distracting. “You don’t know how fucking beautiful you are, Julie. Your skin is soft and smooth…” His rough fingers tickle the backs of my thighs before he nips at the back of my neck and gently bends me over. “I think about all the things I want to do to you every second of every day.”
I don’t have time to respond as he bucks into me so hard that I nearly fall over. His grip on my hair steadies me and I close my eyes, because if I open them, then the world will explode. Sparks of electricity zip up my spine as I feel his fingers tug on my hair, and he brings my body closer to his, snaking his fingertips toward my breasts. Once he has my nipples in between his fingers, he tugs at them and makes the electricity more intense.
