by Nicky Shanks
I clear my throat and go for it. “I do have feelings for Julie.”
She snorts. “Yeah, no shit.”
“Let me explain. I can never have Julie—she belongs to Oliver and she’s never going to leave him. Trust me, there’s been shit she should’ve ran away screaming about, but for whatever reason, she’s still with him. I don’t even want to break them up—it’s a little weird crush that developed and won’t go away. She’s never kissed me, I’ve never touched her, and we sure as hell haven’t slept together. So, I’m not really sure why I have feelings for her, honestly.”
“She seems to have that effect on people.” Her sigh fills the room and she sits on a bar stool nearby. “I know Oliver. I mean, before I just met him.”
My eyes grow wide. “How?”
Lucy licks her lips and stalls—trying to come up with something to lie about, probably. “We met at a bar not long ago—the bar we were just in, actually. I went home with him, and well…” Her eyes search mine for confirmation that I’m a little jealous and intrigued. “The rest is the rest, I guess.”
“Wait, wait.” I hold up my hands to stop her. “Julie and Oliver have been together for like almost six months, how can that be—oh, shit. You’re the girl he picked up in the bar that Harley told me about!”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t judge me for doing something that everyone else does.”
“I’m not.” I wave my arms in front of her. “I’m not judging you. Did you know about Julie then?”
I can tell she doesn’t want to say any more, but this is going to crush Oliver’s soul when Julie finds out that he cheated on her. Fuck what I said before: I’m going to use this to my advantage.
Look out, Oliver Jackson. I have the smoking gun that’s going to pry Julie from you forever.
Your rules aren’t going to save you now.
Chapter Five
Julie
Staci and Nora wait for me at a small table in Rosseau’s Café; I take my time driving so I can think about what I’m going to say to them. It has to come off the right way because I honestly can’t remember doing something like this. I know it’s safely tucked in my pocket, but it feels like it’s bulging out so far that someone’s going to notice. When I reach them, both of their gazes darken and Staci smacks her lips because she knows something isn’t right.
“So, how is Oliver?” Her snide attitude oozes from her question. I know she doesn’t really care. Nora glances at Staci and back at me, her nose twitching with curiosity.
“Oliver is much better, thanks for asking.” I throw Staci’s attitude right back at her and sit down in the empty seat in front of me. “Have you ordered?”
Nora nods, her questions still lurking around us. “Yeah, we ordered you that big, greasy double bacon cheeseburger monstrosity you love so much.”
My tongue darts from between my lips like I can taste the goodness already. “That works perfectly, thanks Nora.” I smile at her and a lightbulb shines above her head. She definitely knows that there’s tension between Staci and me about Oliver, but even I’m a little confused on what her problem is. Oliver hasn’t done anything to her—that I know of—and even when I told her how he nearly died coming to find me before reading the test results…she didn’t blink an eye.
Nora waves the waitress over to our table. “I think we could definitely use some mimosas over here.” Her eyes burn as she looks at Staci and smirks. “Maybe make hers a double.”
Staci scoffs. “How about we just keep those mimosas coming, huh?”
The waitress blushes and nods before scurrying off to complete their request.
“Okay.” I clap my hands to get their attention. “I need your help.”
Staci leans in closer, just waiting for me to drop the bombshell on them. But this particular bombshell isn’t worth sitting on the edge of your seat for. No…I hardly want to even speak the words I need to say to them because of how it’s going to make me feel inside.
Nauseated.
Disgusted.
Confused.
A dozen other weird feelings twisting inside of me.
“Well, spit it out.” Staci takes the drinks from the waitress and hands me my own, now that she knows I’m not pregnant and I can partake in day drinking with her. “I hope this isn’t going to make me homicidal and want to kill Oliver, because right now—” She takes a big gulp of the orange liquid and swallows it easily down. “—I’m not exactly his biggest fan.”
Nora snorts. “We’ve noticed. Why is that?” Her signature gold hoops are the smallest ones I’ve ever seen on her ears since I’ve known her. Nora’s leg has almost completely healed, but she still carries her crutches around to milk the last of her injury sympathy looks and well wishes. The hoops are almost completely covered by her bouncy, soft black curly hair that I’ve always been envious of.
“I’m just not, okay?” Staci’s light eyes dart to Nora and she hisses. “I think he’s lying about something and I don’t want Julie to get hurt.”
“You haven’t even spent any time with him!” Hurt falls from my lips. “How can you possibly know anything about him if you’re not interested in asking?”
“I know all I need to.” She pouts. “Can we just drop it? What do you need our help with?”
I glare at her because I’m not done defending Oliver. I’ll never stop defending him from people who like to judge him by his past actions and not by what’s inside of his heart now. I see Oliver for who he really is—someone he wants to be but is afraid to show to people—and I don’t intend to lose his trust by talking shit behind his back…or letting anyone else get away with doing it.
I know I have to bite the bullet.
“Oliver asked me to marry him.”
They both gasp so loudly that I feel the air being sucked even from my own lungs. I want to say I thought they’d both be happy for me, but the look on Nora’s face is so heartwarming while Staci’s expression of horror stares at me.
“You didn’t say yes, right?” Staci asks.
Nora holds up her hands. “Let her finish. Oliver asked you to marry him, and you said…”
I down the mimosa in my hand and put the empty glass on the table. “I said yes.”
Nora squeals with glee and starts naming off everything that we’ve put on our wedding wish lists in our minds since we’ve met. Staci downs her second mimosa once the waitress brings another round and looks so green in the face that I ignore Nora’s planning and focus on her.
“What is the matter with you? Why aren’t you happy for me? Is this about Oliver’s actions before the accident? Because I’ve forgiven him—”
“—It’s nothing. Just forget it, I’ll try harder to get to know him better, okay?” Staci waves me off. “Forget I said anything, I’m just in a bad mood. I am happy for you. When are you setting a date?”
I don’t believe her, but I don’t want to sit at this table and fight with her, either. I let her lie to me because I have more to my story that I haven’t told them yet. I started with the easiest part because I’m too much of a chicken to even admit the second part to myself. The paper crinkles as I reach into my pocket and pull it out. Both sets of eyes are locked on it as I unfold it and hand it to Nora.
Her eyes scan the words and she’s speechless; she hands it to Staci and looks at me with so much sadness in her eyes that it’s blinding. “Is that true?” she whispers, allowing Staci to finish reading it before she folds it back up and hands it to me in silence.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t remember it, but the document is real.”
Nora starts to laugh and snorts it back down when she realizes that I’m not kidding around. “You don’t remember it? How does that even happen? You’d remember something like this—this isn’t a small thing you’ve done.”
“I know.”
Staci hisses and looks around nervously. “Do you? Oliver won’t like this.” Her lips quiver. “You haven’t told him, have you?”
; “No, of course not. I can’t tell him I’m married to Brandon when I’m supposed to be marrying him.” The words slip from my mouth and just like I thought, I feel so sick that the world starts to spin underneath me. I haven’t told anyone about the contents of this piece of paper until now, and it feels good to share it with people I trust. “I can’t be married. Randy would have known, right? He would have found it during one of his weird background checks on Brandon.”
Nora taps the table with her long, baby pink fingernail. “Not unless he was looking for this in particular, I guess. So, let’s think about this. Brandon is a psychopath and nearly kidnapped you at the cabin…he tried to beat Oliver’s ass and failed…and came to me screaming when he couldn’t find you again…he’s crazy, Julie. He probably fabricated that thing so you’d have no chance at happiness.”
Staci grunts. “Or it’s real and he drugged you.”
Something about her statement clicks in my mind. “He kept asking me to marry him a year into our relationship and I kept denying it because it never felt like the right time. I don’t think he would drug me into marrying him, though…that’s crazy.”
Nora giggles and her stacks of bangled bracelets against her tanned skin sound like metal wind chimes with each deep breath she inhales. “Life is crazy, Julie. Brandon is definitely nutso. I think Staci could be onto something. Why else wouldn’t you be able to remember?”
“Not to mention your signature is all weird and sloppy.” Staci takes the paper from my hands and unfolds it, examining the signature lines. “It’s possible you were just too drunk or something to remember. Unless it’s fake, and then we’re talking about nothing.”
“That’s the first thing we need to do.” Nora takes the paper from her and starts looking over every square inch of it with her concerned eyes. “Make sure it’s even real. I can talk to my cousin Barney—remember he’s a lawyer in Albany? He can tell me if it’s real or not faster than we could find out; I can email him a picture of it.” She pulls out her phone, snaps a picture, and takes a few seconds to compose a quick explaining email, her fingernails clicking on the screen so fast it’s distracting.
I shake my head. “I already know it’s real. It doesn’t take but three minutes and an internet search to know the truth. I just need him to help me understand my options and what to do about it.”
Staci howls with laughter. “Remember that time when Barney wanted to skinny dip with me so bad at the Hamptons and I tricked him into getting into Old Lady Werth’s hot tub and left him there for like two hours?” Nora tries hard not to laugh, but Staci’s booming howls are too contagious for even me to resist. My lips lift into a smile and within seconds, Nora and I are both joining in her laughter like it’s our very own tale to tell. “And then she came outside to find him naked in her hot tub and called his mom!” The three of us are uncontrollable now, and the other patrons start glaring at us to keep it quiet.
Someone clears their throat behind me and Nora instantly stops her laughter. “What the hell are you doing here? In what universe would it even be okay for you to come over here and say anything to me?” There’s a fire brewing in her eyes. “You can just turn right back around and walk the fuck back to wherever you spawned from.”
“I just wanted to come and talk to Julie.” Casey’s voice rips my laughter from my throat. I whirl around and glare up at him. “Hey, can we just talk for a minute? Just sixty seconds.” He holds his hands up in surrender, and I want to punch him in the face so badly that I have to ball my hands up at my sides to keep from smacking him a second time.
“I have nothing to say to you.” My voice is cold. Nora and Staci look at me confused again—this time Nora is the more pissed-off one. I decide I have to tell her something before she blows her top and we get kicked out of the restaurant for good. “Oliver and Casey got into a fight and Casey accidentally punched me in the eye.” I point toward my eye; it hurts a lot more than it looks. The bruise was light enough that I could cover it with makeup for the most part, so I wipe a smudge of the foundation off and they both gasp.
Nora gets to me first. “He did that to you?” The fire in her eyes is raging now, and if we didn’t have dozens of people watching us already, she very well could jump from her seat and tackle Casey to the ground.
“She said it was an accident,” Casey defends himself. “Julie, come on. One minute.”
I groan out loud on purpose. “Fine, one minute.” I turn back to Nora and shrug before standing up and following Casey to a secluded part of the patio out of earshot from anyone. Sadness radiates from his body; it wraps me up like a thick, itchy blanket, and if I stop making myself breathe through this…I’m not sure that I won’t suffocate.
“I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise to listen. After I say what I have to say, then you can tell me to fuck off.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I already want to tell you to fuck off.”
He doesn’t like it, but he accepts my attitude. “I just want you to really think about what’s happened. Do you think I’d really hurt you on purpose? You are one of the only people left in my life that I can trust with the real me. I’d never let anything happen to you if I could help it.”
My patience is wearing thin. I already hear these things from Oliver, and with him they actually mean something. “Forty seconds left.”
His eyes darken. “I just want to be your friend again. I don’t need you to love me or to even care about me, but I just need you…there.”
“That’s a pretty big request.”
Casey nods and scratches his chin. “Yeah, I know. It feels good to have someone like you believe in me, that’s all.”
I close my eyes and try to process what he’s even saying. “I don’t think you can help yourself, Casey.”
“Oliver is putting you in danger by not giving his mother what she wants.”
“How so?” I snap. “So far, you’re the only one that’s put me in danger.”
He swallows a ball in his throat, the information he was about to share so freely crawling back into his dark mind. “Julie, come on. You know I didn’t mean to hit you. I have feelings for you—why would I do that? It’s killing me inside knowing that you hate me, but I can’t do anything about that now except help keep you safe.”
“So…what? You think Veronica is going to hurt me to get Oliver to pay her?” My sneaker taps against the hardwood floor beneath our feet. “Well, thank you for the warning, but I think I can handle myself. I have nothing to do with Oliver’s money, anyway.”
Casey grabs my arm to keep me from walking away. “They aren’t the kind of people who are going to give a shit about that. Oliver loves you, therefore you’re a liability.”
This is insane.
I’ve had enough of all this drama that isn’t even mine.
“Let’s get some things straight right here. I told you: You don’t have feelings for me. I don’t have feelings for you, so you have to get over that. I’ll talk to Oliver about what you’ve told me—that’s all I can promise you. As for his—your—mother, I hardly think that woman can lift a cigarette anymore, let alone hurt me.”
His grip lessens on my skin. “Don’t underestimate her, Julie. You don’t know her—”
I allow myself to look into his eyes, matching his grim stare. “And you do?”
Casey’s gaze lifts to the ceiling as he tries to figure out a lie to push past his teeth. “I don’t know her, but I know about her. My parents have told me things.”
I sigh loudly. His sixty seconds are long gone. “Oliver isn’t going to like what you’re telling me.”
“I don’t give a shit about Oliver.”
I’ve struck a chord on purpose, and I’ll admit…it feels good.
But I still want to scream.
“God, Casey…don’t you get it? I don’t want to see you ever again, okay? You’re borderline stalking me, it’s getting out of hand. Yes, I’ll admit…I miss talking to you…but Oliver is everythi
ng to me. You’re—”
His lip quivers. “Don’t say it.”
I look at the ground and close my eyes before making the decision to say what needs to be said.
“You’re nothing to me.”
He’s gone before I open my eyes. I feel the breeze of his body rushing past me before I dare to look. Nora and Staci are watching with such wide eyes that it’s going to be hard for me to lie my way out of this one. I sit down and explain the entire story to them from the beginning, and I leave nothing out. By the time I’m finished, Staci looks exhausted and Nora looks pissed.
“Casey is such a jerk.” Nora shakes her head.
Staci laughs. “I can’t believe this is your life.”
I fold the paper back up and shove it into my pocket. The food they ordered has arrived and I want to sink my teeth into that ultra-greasy cheeseburger more than anything else right now.
Casey obviously doesn’t want to play by my rules and stay away.
Still, a part of me deep down feels weird about being so cold to him.
“Okay, I’ll let you know what Barney says about that…bullshit.” Nora waves her bangled hands around my body. “I love you, Julie…we’re going to help you with this.”
Staci gives me a comforting pat on the back. “Yeah, you deserve to be married to someone like Oliver.”
Someone like Oliver.
What does that mean?
Someone smart and headstrong, willing to do anything to keep me safe and happy?
Casey is wrong.
Oliver wouldn’t put me in danger—he’d never let his mother put me in danger, either.
I’m sure that’s one rule he wouldn’t break.
Chapter Six
Heather
The sun is shining and birds are chirping as I step out of the passenger side of Brandon’s car. He lowers his sunglasses and winks at me like he’s from a cheesy eighties movie. I owe him a lot—these past few weeks have been extremely hands-on and crazy wonderful. All of his attention has been on me instead of Julie, and it’s honestly like he’s forgotten that she ever existed. In return, I’ve tried my best to leave Oliver behind too.
