Pay For Play (Alphachat.com #1)

by Victoria Ashley

  “You dick. I’ve been miserable thinking about you fucking what’s mine.” He starts to laugh as he signals for another round of shots for us.

  “Rebel’s gotten to you, Lynx. You haven’t been the same since you walked out that fucking door and I bet she hasn’t been either.”

  I look down at my phone when it buzzes in my hand, but throw it across the bar when I see it’s not Rebel. He’s one hundred percent right, I haven’t been the same. “I don’t know what to fucking do. She won’t return any of my calls or texts. Something was wrong with her that night and that shit she pulled was completely out of character for her. Even if she liked the thought of someone watching I can’t believe she’s the two dick type. I can’t fix that shit if I don’t know what was going on with her. Fuck!”

  Blaze narrows his eyes at me. “You seriously don’t know how much your career hurts her, do you? Or the fact that you had a woman waiting in your office for you that night?” He lets out a laugh of disbelief as I watch him. “Rebel is different. She’s not the kind of woman that’s just going to be okay with that kind of stuff.”

  “Fuck.” I slam my fist down onto the bar, when I realize that she must’ve seen Viv in my office and got the wrong impression. “It was about business, Blaze. I didn’t call Viv over to fuck. I wouldn’t do that to Rebel.”

  “Well, Rebel doesn’t know that. As far as she knows, you had a whore in your office. That’s where you disappeared to after leaving her alone with me so . . .”

  I squeeze my eyes shut and feel my chest tighten. No wonder she was pushing so damn hard for a threesome with Blaze. I hoped with everything in me it wasn’t because she wanted him.

  “It’s hard for her to see how many women get to watch you jerk your shit. She does do all of the scheduling so she sees it all. She cares about you. She really fucking cares about you. I could see it in her eyes that night.” He tosses back another shot. “Hell . . . I might even say she’s falling for your ass.”

  My chest aches with a need I’ve never felt when he talks about her feelings. Hell, I’ve never cared how a woman felt before Rebel.

  “I don’t know.” I toss back my second shot of whiskey and look out to watch the people on the dance floor. I came here to check on the club and give my mind something to do, but I ended up tossing back drinks to clear my head instead. “She’s too good. She’s perfect and I’m far from it.”

  Blaze laughs. “I won’t argue that.”

  I give him a hard look, before looking back out at all of the people dancing.

  “Maybe she’s not looking for perfect or hell . . . maybe she sees perfect when she looks at you. Perfect for her and that’s all that really matters to a woman. A good one anyway. Just give her a few more days. If she doesn’t come to you, take your ass to her and give her no choice.”

  “That’s what I plan to do.” I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can give her a few more days.”

  Blaze smiles. “That says a lot. So what are you gonna do? Quit taking calls?”

  “Yeah,” I say quickly.

  Blaze’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.”

  “Ok . . . then who will take the top spot? It’s always been you. That might lose the site a lot of business.”

  “I don’t care if it does. You boys bring in enough business to keep things rolling.” I stop and take a swig of my beer. “You,” I say, answering his first question.

  He spits his drink out over his lap. “Fuck! Are you serious about that shit?”

  I nod my head and slap his shoulder. “Yeah. You deserve the spot and the extra pay. You’re top Alpha now. Get used to it and don’t fuck up.”

  “Oh fuck. I won’t.” He sits up straighter and practically breaks his neck to follow some chick in the crowd of dancing bodies. “She’s here.”

  “Who?” I follow his eyes to see Karma in the crowd, dancing without a care in the world. She looks completely lost in the song, her hands running over her sweaty body with her eyes closed.

  “Talk later, Boss.”

  I laugh to myself as Blaze rushes across the room and slides his body in between Karma and some guy that was getting close to her.

  “Do you need another one, Boss?”

  I turn around to face Envy and toss down a fifty. She’s been eyeing me with heated eyes ever since she finally saw me for the first time. Before the other night, Brit was the only one of my bartenders that knew what I looked like. I hired her in the beginning.

  She brushes her hand up my arm and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Anything at all I can do for you?”

  “Keep your fucking hands to yourself,” I say in reply to her question. “And follow the fucking rules. I’ll be in my office.” I feel her eyes on me as I stand up and walk away, but the last thing I am is turned on.

  Rebel is still the only woman that I want to be with and that tells me I’m doing exactly what I should be doing.

  Tomorrow I am going in and pulling my name down from the website and moving Blaze up in my spot.

  Then I’m going to fight like hell to give Rebel a few more days, before I end up at her door, uninvited. And I won’t be leaving until I get what I want.

  Her . . .

  IT’S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE I’ve seen Lynx and two days since I’ve heard from him. Maybe he finally got the hint that I want nothing to do with him. Maybe he finally sees that I just can’t handle being hurt by him. His lifestyle is far from what I can take.

  I thought using Blaze would make everything better and make me somewhat ok with what he does, but it did nothing to ease the pain that I feel when I think about him and other women.

  He had a practically naked woman waiting for him in his office for crying out loud. And he didn’t even act as if it was a big deal. He left me there with Blaze while he went to her.

  Who just does that? He could’ve at least had the decency to go to another room, other than where some woman was waiting to fuck him.

  Every time I replay the events of that night in my head, it hurts a little more each time. It’s slowly killing me inside and making it hard for me to focus on anything but.

  “Whatcha doing?” Remi walks into my room, taking a seat on the end of my bed. She’s been on my ass since that night. “You still working? You’ve been working nonstop for almost four days now. Stop.”

  I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut, to ease the pain from staring at the computer. “No. I can’t. I need to make up for the money I won’t be making from the Alpha House or club now. You’ll see me in about a week when I’m all caught up. I’m fine. I’m a big girl.”

  “No,” she says firmly. “You’re far from fine and I don’t like it. I want my best friend back, dammit.”

  Ignoring her, I fight back the lump in my throat and focus on the website I’m designing for one of my clients. Right now, that’s what’s important. “It is what it is, Remi.”

  She goes quiet for a few seconds, making me believe that she might actually just leave me alone finally. “Have you heard from Lynx since the other day?”

  Nope. I obviously hoped for too much.

  “Remi- let’s not get into this right now. Please. I can’t . . .”

  “Just stop for two damn seconds and talk to me,” she snaps.

  Hearing her sound so angry snaps me out of the daze I’ve been in for the last few days. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard to talk about. I want to tell you but . . .”

  “But what?” she pushes.

  “It hurts too much,” I admit. “My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my chest and stomped on. It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to think. It’s hard to do a lot of things. I feel like I took a trip back to my past and that’s something I swore I’d never do again.” I stop and release a breath. “But the worst part of it all . . . I miss him and the way he made me feel when we were together.”

  “Oh, Honey.” She stands up and walks over to wrap her arms around my neck. “Maybe you should just talk t
o him.”

  I rest my head against hers for a second, before pulling away and wiping at my face. “It doesn’t matter if I talk to him. It won’t change a thing and I’m not willing to force a change in his life. He’s worked hard to get where he is and the last thing he needs is some chick ruining it all for him. I won’t be that girl.”

  “Maybe he wants you to be that girl. Maybe he wants to hear how much it’s hurting you so he can fix it. You can’t expect a problem to be fixed if the person causing it doesn’t even know it’s a problem. Have you even told him how you feel?”

  I shake my head as she backs away and sits on my desk. “It doesn’t matter. He invited me to a party, yet he had one of his callers there waiting for him in his office. A man like that doesn’t want to hear how I feel about him.”

  Remi narrows her eyes at me. “How do you know she was there for the reason you’re thinking? Men are stupid, but I don’t see Lynx being that stupid. Especially after he worked hard to get you there in the first place. Maybe you need to stop being a pussy and confront him.”

  “Really!” I laugh a little as she smiles down at me. “I’m not being a pussy. I’m just trying to save the heartache.”

  “You are being a pussy. And if it’s enough to cause heartache then maybe it’s worth it. I haven’t seen you this way over a guy . . . well, ever. It didn’t even effect you this much when Robert cheated on you and you were with him for almost two years. That’s a hell of a lot longer than you’ve known Lynx. But . . .” she pauses and plays with my hair. “Sometimes it only takes a few weeks.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and let her words sink in. Maybe she’s right. Lynx is worth so much more than what I’ve been trying to let on since that night. He’s crawled his way so deep under my skin that he’s the first and last thing that I think about every damn day.

  “I’ll think about talking to him. I just need a little more time to get my thoughts in check so I don’t say the wrong thing. You know how I get when I’m upset. Things don’t come out right and my emotions are just running high right now.” I know if I don’t at least agree to think about talking to him, she’ll never leave me alone about this.

  “Oh, I know more than anyone and I don’t want that either.”

  With that, she kisses me on the top of the head and leaves me alone. She’ll most likely be watching Jason Statham movies for the rest of the night, so I know she’ll leave me alone to work now.

  Except, my mind’s on Lynx even more now than ever.

  The only way to get him off of it is to work even harder to forget him. I’ll just have to dive even deeper into my work because I can’t expose myself to that kind of life again.

  I just hope that it doesn’t kill me in the process . . .

  FUCK! I THOUGHT THE ACHE in my chest would fade after being away from Rebel for more time. I was completely wrong. The longer I’m away from her, the more my chest feels as if it’s going to burst the fuck open.

  It has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been doing the admin work and drowning myself in the chaos of the business. I could care less. It wasn’t her making things easier on me that made me want her here. And it definitely wasn’t just her body that kept me craving her.

  It was so much more and I see that now.

  Her smile. Her laugh. Her fucking eyes. The way she would look at me from across the room or challenge me. It all made me feel more alive than I have in years.

  Ripping the check from the book, I shove it in an envelope and address it to Rebel. I don’t know why the fuck I added her address. Maybe to make it look like I sent it instead of hand delivered it.

  She might not want anything to do with me at the moment, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to take care of her. I offered her a year contract and that’s exactly what I plan to pay her for.

  I owe her so much more than that. She’s given me something I never thought I’d have: an ache to love a woman and to be loved.

  I’d give it all up if it meant I’d get to wake up next to her every morning. That one night she slept here with me was a fucking tease. Something to torture me and remind me of what I don’t have.

  It could be love. It might not be. All I know is that it’s driving me fucking crazy and fucking with my head.

  Standing up from my desk, I grab my jacket and tell the guys that I’ll be gone for most of the day. I need to be alone so I can figure out how this is all going to go down.

  I drive around on my motorcycle for most of the afternoon. I forget about the Alpha House, the club and anything business related and think about just what I’m willing to do to prove to Rebel that I’m worth her time.

  I’m not the flowers and candy sort of guy, but fuck . . . I’d be that for her if that’s what I knew she wanted.

  She’s not that kind of girl, but maybe that’s because nobody has ever done those things for her.

  Taking a deep breath, I jump back on my bike and head to the diner where I know her roommate works. I need to make sure that Remi checks the mailbox when she gets off work.

  Opening the door, she’s the first person that I spot. She’s leaning over the counter.

  Her eyes land on mine as she looks my way and I can tell with that small glance that she knows why I’m here.

  She almost looks hopeful to see me.

  “Lynx,” she greets me. “I’m guessing you’re not here to eat since I’ve never seen you in here before.”

  I smile and shake my head. “You’re right. I’m not. I need you to do me a favor.”

  She looks at me for a few seconds as if she’s trying to read my intentions to see if they’re genuine. Then her face turns into the biggest smile I’ve ever fucking seen.

  “Take a seat. I’m off in five.”

  Fuck . . . I need this to work. I have a feeling this might be the push I need to get her out of the house and confront me.

  I’VE BEEN STARING AT MY phone for the last hour, trying to find the courage to call Lynx and ask him to meet me so we can talk.

  I don’t want to step foot in the Alpha House. It’s too soon for that and will only remind me of what could’ve possibly gone down at the party after I left.

  I look up when Remi rushes inside, tossing her keys down onto the couch. “Have you left the computer at all today? Please tell me you have.”

  Rolling my eyes at the way she’s looking at me with judgmental eyes, I shut down my computer and turn to face her. “I’m just now getting done with work. It’s only five. I’m getting better.”

  “Good. Some mail came for you.” She reaches her hand out with a grin. “Looks pretty important.”

  My heart instantly starts hammering when I see it came from the Alpha House. “This wasn’t in the mailbox when I checked it earlier.”

  “Well . . . it was there now. Just open it.”

  Wanting some privacy, I push away from the computer and walk past Remi, to my room. Which doesn’t really help since she comes over to stand in my doorway anyway, watching me like a hawk.

  Taking a calming breath, I open the envelope and pull out a check that is written out to me for a ridiculous amount of money. “Holy shit!” I throw my hand over my mouth and fight to catch my breath. “Is he fucking insane?”

  Remi rushes into my room and snatches the check out of my hand. “Holy fucking shit! There’s a lot of zeros on this check.” She starts fanning herself off. “I can’t breathe. I’ve never seen so much money in my life.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” I say in anger, while snatching it from her hand and ripping it in half. “I’m not accepting it.”

  Remi watches me as I reach for my jacket and keys. “Where are you going?”

  “To throw this at his face for even thinking I’d accept this. He doesn’t owe me anything.”

  My heart is pounding so hard and fast that I can’t make out what Remi is saying from behind me as I storm through the living room and yank the door open.

  My whole world stops and heat spreads thro
ughout my whole body as I look up to see Lynx standing in front of me in a pair of dress slacks, a black button down shirt and a loose tie.

  He slowly looks up at me and holds up a single daisy. My mother used to always buy me daisies when I was sick as a child. They always made me feel safe because they were the flowers that my parents had at their wedding and every single anniversary party.

  My breath hitches in my throat as he reaches out with his free hand and grabs my chin. “I see you got my check.”

  I close my eyes and swallow, trying my hardest to not melt into him right now. “I did,” I whisper. “And I don’t want it. Here.” I shove it into his chest, but instead of grabbing it, he lets it fall to the ground at our feet as he yanks me to him and crushes his lips against mine, so hard that it knocks my breath right out of me.

  “We need to talk,” I say between kisses.

  His grip on my arms steadies me and I take in his kiss because I've missed it so much. He lifts my legs around his waist and carries me outside while he continues to kiss me.

  "I've missed you like crazy and I can't stop thinking about you." He stops kissing me just long enough to set me down and then pulls my lips to his again.

  His kiss is desperate, just like mine. I let my hands run down his back before I push between us to break the kiss.

  "I can't believe you think I'd take that check. I'll be just fine without your money, or that job." I have to step away from him. When he's this close, I can't think straight.

  "Come for a drive with me." He grabs my hand in his and tries to lead me toward his truck.

  "Lynx. I can't. I can’t do all of this again." My words stop him and he bows his head before he steps against me again.

  "Yes you can. I need to talk to you." He doesn't kiss me this time, even though he's within an inch of my face. His eyes burn into mine and I know I have to go with him. We need to have this talk even though I know what I have to do.

  "Can I at least brush my hair?" I look like hell and the fact that he’s still rushing me actually surprises me even more when I think about what I'm wearing. "And change."