Fate mba-2

by Аманда Хокинг

  “So you’re just going to let him die?” I cried incredulously.

  “I don’t think that’s what anyone’s saying,” Mae murmured. I turned to look at her, trying to understand the conflicted expression on her face when it finally dawned on me.

  “We can try the hospitals,” Ezra relented, watching the very slow rise and fall of Milo’s chest as he breathed shallowly. “Or… we can turn him.”

  “Into a vampire?” I swallowed hard, trying to grasp everything. Jack finally released me and took a step away from me. When I managed to pull my gaze away from Milo, I looked up at him, and saw his eyes filled with tears.

  “I am so sorry, Alice,” Jack apologized, his voice thick with despair.

  “His heart is slowing,” Ezra looked at me evenly. “You’re going to have to make a choice, Alice.

  Quickly.”

  “If he turns, he’ll live, right?” I asked breathlessly.

  “If we catch it in time,” Ezra answered hesitantly. “But it’s not a sure thing. If he’s already too weakened, the turn might just push him over the edge.”

  “You mean instead of saving him, it might kill him?” The room felt like it was spinning, and Jack reached out to steady me, tentatively putting his arm around me.

  “I’m sorry,” Ezra said simply, but his words were filled with empathy.

  “What am I supposed to do?” I cried.

  It was an impossible decision. On one hand, he might die or become a vegetable. On the other, he might die or become a vampire, and I had no idea how he’d feel about becoming one.

  “I can do it,” Jack offered, knowing that somehow, it would make me more comfortable with the decision. He took a step away from me, moving closer to Milo, and looked at me earnestly. “If this is what you want, I’ll do it.”

  “Do it,” I whispered hoarsely.

  “Are you sure?” Ezra asked gravely.

  “What choice do I have?”

  I knew he was just trying to gauge my certainty, but that was impossible to measure. My frame of mind was somewhere between total shock and blacked out hysteria. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, mixing in with some of the blood I had inadvertently rubbed off of Jack’s chest when he held me to him. And Milo was laying on the island, barely breathing and his heart slowing every second. If this was going to happen, it had to happen now, and as far as I could tell it would be his best chance for survival.

  Turning into a vampire, or deciding that someone else should turn, was no easy decision. Even though I wanted to become one, I hadn’t let myself really think about all the ramifications, like immortality and drinking blood. I didn’t have to yet, because I planned on waiting a few more years so I could be around Milo. I wanted to help him and protect him, but that joke was on me. If I had turned six months ago, when I was initially offered the choice, I would’ve long since been out of Milo’s hair, and he would’ve just been sitting at home on the computer right now instead of dying in a kitchen.

  “Everything will be okay, love,” Mae murmured. She had made her way over to my side and wrapped an arm around me. Part of me wanted to push her off, but I didn’t have the strength, so I just let her stroke my hair.

  “We’ll see,” I replied quietly. Jack had started rummaging through a drawer, and he was wasting precious time that I suspected we didn’t have. “What are you doing?”

  “I need a knife,” Jack replied apologetically and looked back at Mae for help.

  “There’s one in the kitchen sink,” Mae told him.

  Jack quickly sifted through the dirty dishes in the sink and pulled out the knife Mae had been using to cut fruit. He walked over to the island, holding the knife, and his breathing got more rugged. He was afraid of what he was about to do but didn’t see any alternative.

  “Do you want to see this?” Ezra asked me, sending a new shiver down my spine.

  “Yes, of course.” I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else when this was happening, no matter how terrifying or disturbing it might be. If this was where Milo died or turned or whatever, I wanted to be here, with him.

  Jack glanced once over at me, his eyes burning with regret and apology. Then he looked down at Milo and nodded. With one deft move, he sliced open his wrist, and blood trickled out from it. He barely even noticed the pain and pressed his wound up against Milo’s mouth.

  “Ezra,” Jack shook his head, sounding scared. “He’s not responding.”

  “Give it time,” Ezra said.

  “What if he doesn’t wake up?” Jack asked, panicking. His cut was already starting to close, and he had to use his other hand to pry it open, allowing his blood to drip on Milo’s mouth.

  “Give it time,” Ezra told him firmly.

  My heart was racing wildly, and while I knew that wouldn’t really help the situation, I couldn’t slow it. Whatever was supposed to be happening wasn’t happening. Jack was terrified, and Mae tightened her grip around me, probably in case I decided to flip out again.

  Then Jack gasped sharply, and he was filled with a mixture of pleasure and pain. Milo had woken up enough to sink his teeth into his arm, but very little else seemed to be happening with him.

  Jack groaned, and I tried to understand what he was feeling, but it was too many things all once.

  Relief, shame, guilt, agony, ecstasy.

  Suddenly, Milo started coughing, and Jack pulled his arm back. Milo didn’t really seem to be awake, and it looked like he was choking on Jack’s blood.

  “He’s choking!” I yelled, and Mae’s arms stopped me from performing CPR on Milo.

  “No, he’s fine,” Ezra assured me.

  “He’s okay?” Jack winced, wrapping a towel around his wrist until the blood stopped.

  “It’s too soon to tell,” Ezra said.

  “What do you mean it’s too soon?” I struggled against Mae, but she held me firm. “If he’s breathing, doesn’t that mean it worked?”

  “It’s a process that takes a couple days,.” Ezra explained, then looked past me at Mae.

  “I’ll go ready a room for him,” Mae announced quietly, and then finally let me go.

  For the first time since this all began, I was free to rush over to my brother. He was still coughing a little and his body seemed to shudder involuntarily. I pushed back the hair from his forehead, damp from the lake and his own blood, and his eyelids trembled but didn’t open. His lips were covered with Jack’s blood, and I wanted to wipe it away, but I was afraid too. For now, I was okay with just stroking his hair and crying as I watched him struggle to breathe.

  “Alice,” Ezra said softly and gently placed his hand on my arm.

  When I finally pulled my gaze away from Milo, I was surprised to see it was only the two of us in the kitchen, along with my brother. I had been so fixated on watching Milo brother that I hadn’t noticed Jack leave the room. Time had obviously passed, but I couldn’t be certain of how much.

  Everything felt out of whack.

  “What?” I tried to focus on Ezra, but my eyes were sore and blurry from crying.

  “Why don’t you go get cleaned up? Then I’ll take Milo and clean him up and make sure he’s comfortable upstairs.” Ezra’s warm brown eyes tried to comfort me, but I laid an arm over Milo possessively.

  “I can clean him up,” I insisted, but Ezra shook his head softly.

  “You can’t carry him, Alice,” Ezra explained carefully. “This whole thing has you exhausted and frayed.

  You need to clear your head a bit, and then you can check on Milo once he’s settled in. There’s nothing more you can do for him right now.”

  “But-” I tried to think of a convincing argument to stay with him, but there was none. Except that letting Milo out of my sight seemed impossible. I knew that Ezra was right, but it didn’t change the way I felt.

  Out of nowhere, Mae appeared at my side, and I knew the battle was lost.

  “Come on, love,” Mae cooed soothingly and gently place her arm around my waist, so she could start trying to pry
me away from Milo. “He needs to be moved upstairs where he can be more comfortable, and you need a chance to breathe.”

  I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. Ezra was already scooping Milo into his arms so he could take him upstairs. If Mae hadn’t mentioned that he would be more comfortable elsewhere, I might’ve fought more to stay with him. But as long as it was better for him, I’d let it happen.

  When I went into the bathroom to change for the second time that night, Mae managed to convince me to take a shower. It actually took very little pushing from her when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realized I was covered in Milo’s blood. That wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to leave on me, and a nice, long hot shower would go a long way to ridding some of what I was feeling. I cried in the shower, but that seemed the perfect place to do it.

  After I pulled on Mae’s comfortable pajamas, I left the bathroom. The panic and fear were dying down, leaving an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness and a strange creeping numbness. It was hard to wrap my mind around what had happened. One minute, Milo was laughing in the lake. The next he was dying or turning into a vampire. It was a hard thing to cope with.

  Jack was sitting on the steps leading upstairs, looking completely morose and freshly showered.

  As soon as he saw me, his eyes filled with an infinite sadness. There was no doubt that he felt entirely responsible for Milo, and I realized that I didn’t even know what had happened to him. In all the worry of trying to figure out how to save him I had managed to overlook how he had gotten that way in the first place.

  “Alice, I am so sorry,” Jack said, his voice rushed and terrified.

  “What happened, Jack?” My words came out flat and dull, unable to muster the concern and confusion I felt. I walked stiffly over to him and sat down on the step below him.

  “We were goofing off.” He shook his head and his soft blue eyes filled with tears again. “He was running on the dock, but it was wet. He slipped and cracked his head…” His breath came out shaky, and he was torturing himself because he had let something happen to Milo. The last thing he wanted was to do something that would hurt either of us. “I am so sorry, Alice. I didn’t even think-”

  “How is he doing?” I interrupted him.

  While I didn’t hold Jack as responsible as he did, I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to ease his guilt. The fact remained that if he and Milo didn’t have a habit of letting things get a little too wild, Milo wouldn’t have been hurt. But then again, if I wasn’t constantly trying to let things get out of hand with me and Jack, I would’ve still been outside, reigning them in. Or if I hadn’t invited Milo over tonight. Or if I had never even come over here. There was no way that Milo would have been here if it wasn’t for me.

  “He’s still unconscious,” Jack replied quietly. “Ezra said that if he’s lucky, he should be unconscious through most of this.”

  “If he’s lucky?” I shot a worried look up at him, but he just dropped his eyes. “What does that mean?”

  “Turning isn’t exactly pleasant.” He rubbed his hands together and looked rather sheepish.

  “So Milo’s gonna be in pain? Like how much pain?” My eyes widened at the thought, and I hoped that I hadn’t made the wrong choice. I just wanted him to be okay and in as little pain as possible.

  “He’s completely out right now. You don’t even have to worry about it at all.” Jack was trying to brush me off, and that made me all the more paranoid.

  “He’s my brother, Jack! Of course I’m going to worry! This whole stupid thing is my fault!”

  “None of this is your fault,” Jack corrected me sternly, and his eyes got strangely wounded. “Alice, you can’t blame yourself for this. You had nothing to do with it.”

  “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t feel!”

  I started to stand up, but the weight of the night barreled down on me. My body was tired and weak, and I started to lose my balance. Instinctively, Jack reached out for me. He pulled me into his arms, and at first, I tried to fight him, just because I felt like fighting something. But then I realized how wonderful and safe his arms felt around me, and I gave into it. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed.

  “It’s going to be alright, Alice,” Jack whispered, pressing me tightly to him. “He’s going to be okay.

  You just need to get some rest.”

  “There’s no way I can rest as long as Milo’s…” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to finish the sentence, and I could barely fight off the fatigue from the night as it was. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t how much longer I could stay awake.

  “Mae’s sitting in with him, and you know she’ll make sure he’s as comfortable as he can be.” Jack looked down at me and brushed away a tear with his thumb. I know it was horrible, and even as much as I was worried about Milo, I still couldn’t help but hope that Jack would kiss me.

  Instead, he reached down and picked me up in his arms. I would’ve protested if I wasn’t so tired and I didn’t love the way he felt so much. He finally pulled his eyes off of mine and carried me upstairs, up into his room. When he laid me down gently in his bed, he stood next to it, looking unsure. I realized that he was debating whether or not he should stay with me.

  “You aren’t gonna leave me, are you?” I asked nervously. It was going to be hard enough sleeping and having Jack with me would make everything so much easier. And probably a little bit more difficult too, but that would be good for a distraction.

  “Mae wanted me to sleep on the couch downstairs,” Jack explained, looking guilty.

  “But I don’t want you to.”

  He laughed lightly, and then, still looking unsure, he carefully climbed into bed next to me.

  Fortunately, I had too much on mind to get too excited about the prospect, but there was something considerably comforting in curling up in his arms. The way he held me made me feel safer than I ever thought possible. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his slow heartbeat.

  Only one thin wall away from us, my brother laid in a bed, going through his own struggle. With Mae at his side, I felt a little better, because she would do anything possible to save him and make him comfortable. I also knew that she’d let me know if there were any changes at all. But just the same, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for falling asleep when his future remained so uncertain. The exhaustion of the night won out over my guilt, and I finally passed out in Jack’s arms.

  Chapter 4

  When I woke up, Jack was gone. I went next door to check on Milo, but his condition seemed to be mostly the same. Mae had staked out a position next to his bed, and she assured me that he had yet to even wake up. He just laid in bed, looking pale and frightfully small, but at least his breathing had improved a little. That had to be a good sign.

  After I got dressed, Ezra decided to address the practical aspects of the situation. Obviously, Milo couldn’t go home right now, and I didn’t want to be away from him. Even though our mother was almost perpetually gone, she would probably start to notice if we didn’t show up for a few days.

  Ezra suggested that I go home, get some clothes, and tell my mom that we were staying at their vacation house or something for a few days.

  Jack returned from his mysterious whereabouts and offered to take me home. Once Ezra had repeatedly assured me that Milo would be fine while I was gone, I finally relented and got in the car with Jack. Usually, car rides with him were my favorite things, but I was convinced that Milo would take a turn for the worst as soon as I left the house.

  “He’s going to be alright,” Jack told me for the hundredth time as we pulled out of the driveway.

  “How do you know that? Have you even seen him today?” I asked pointedly and glared over at him. I didn’t want to admit it, but it had hurt me a little to wake up alone. Besides that, Jack had yet to explain his absence.

  “Yeah, I checked on him when I got up. Ezra said everything’s going fine. It looks like the change is
taking.” His earlier guilt seemed to have lessened a bit, but he still blamed himself for what happened. It just didn’t seem quite as bad now that it looked like Milo wouldn’t die anytime soon.

  “When did you get up?” I didn’t even try to keep my voice casual. He always knew what I was getting at anyway.

  “Awhile ago,” Jack replied shortly.

  “Where were you?”

  “I had to eat.” He shifted uncomfortably. Even after all this time, I think he expected me to go screaming for the hills every time he mentioned that he drank blood. Admittedly, I hadn’t entirely gotten used to the idea, but it didn’t repulse me. Well, not enough to send me packing, anyway.

  “So did you just pick up some girl?” My jealous streak was showing, but oddly enough, that appeared to relieve him.

  “No. We were low on blood at the house, so I went to the bank and picked some up. We’re gonna need more blood around with Milo.” He said it so matter-of-factly, but in a weird way, it hadn’t fully sunk in with me yet. Milo was going to be drinking blood from here on out.

  “When does Milo need to eat?” I tried not to gulp.

  “Soon, I think.” Jack looked over at me to see how I was taking things. I must’ve managed to look pretty okay, because he continued. “At first, he’s going to eat a lot. The turning takes a lot out of you, and he doesn’t really understand how to gauge his hunger. It varies from vampire to vampire how long it’ll take him to get it under control. But you might have to be careful around him for awhile.”

  “What do you mean?” I turned to Jack sharply, and he sighed.

  “Alice, he’s going to be a vampire,” Jack explained evenly. “He’ll want blood, all the time at first, and he’s going to be acutely aware of all the blood you have flowing in your veins.”

  “He’s gonna try and eat me?” My eyes widened.

  “Well… maybe.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” I groaned. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the seat and tried really hard not to look as freaked out as I felt.