Fate mba-2

by Аманда Хокинг

  When I finally decided to try and go to bed, sleep escaped me. Even though I was still suffering anemia induced exhaustion, my nerves and the caffeine made it impossible to sleep. There was a cool mist seeping into my room through the open window, so for a change I wouldn’t be forced to sleep in muggy ninety degree temperatures. I actually had cool comfort going for me, but I just tossed and turned until the covers fell off, and then I was cold.

  My phone glowed on my nightstand like a beacon of unrequited love. If only Jack would call me, then somehow we could straighten this all out. I could confess how much I really did care about him, and how little Peter meant to me. Maybe I could even have Milo explain to him the whole nature vs. nurture thing. Things had just gotten too heated between us too fast, and then everything had gotten messed up. If we just let things cool down for a moment and spoke about them openly, he’d realize that I want to be with him more than anything in the world. But first, he’d just have to call.

  Eventually, my body forced itself to shut down and go to sleep, and I was staring at the phone when my eyes finally closed. The lost coherent thought I remember having before drifting off was that I really and truly loved Jack.

  I heard a noise, a banging sound on my window, and my eyes flashed open. A fog had somehow lightly permeated my room, sliding in from the open window. The scare from the bang momentarily drove away my fatigue, and I sat up, looking around for the source of sound. A curtain fluttered in a light breeze, letting in the light from the streetlamp, and it cast onto a figure standing in the corner of my room.

  My breath caught in my throat, which was probably only a little better than screaming. I was about to ask who it was, but even in the dim fog of my room, I could see his piercing green eyes fixed on me. He knew that I had seen him, so he stepped out from the shadows, and my body reacted accordingly. Peter was still the most stunning thing I had ever seen. My heart fluttered irrationally and that familiar painful tug started pulling inside of me, almost demanding that I get out of bed and go to him. If I hadn’t been in shock, I might have actually done that. Instead, I just gaped at him until my lungs screamed at me.

  “Peter,” I whispered breathlessly.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you,” Peter said softly, and his voice sounded like velvet.

  He moved closer to me, almost cautiously sitting on the edge of my bed. His thick, chestnut hair fell into his eyes, and he absently pushed it back. His skin was smooth and flawless, and his lips were parted just slightly, breathing me in. He wanted to reach out and touch me, but fought it, gripping my blanket and balling his hand up into a fist. There should’ve been something menacing and frightening about him being in my room, but there wasn’t. His eyes were intense and bright, but they were affectionate and filled with a painful longing for me.

  “What are you doing here?” I swallowed hard, trying gauge his reaction, but it was impossible. As always, his expression was impenetrable.

  “I wanted to see you. I thought something was wrong.” His eyes flashed with something I couldn’t read, and I dropped my gaze. My mind was starting to fill with the exotic haze of him, and I wouldn’t be able to think at all if I kept looking at him.

  “Something wrong? You mean like when you nearly killed me?”

  I was startled that I had even been able to say something that biting, but whenever I was around him, my tongue had complete power. He fogged up whatever part of my senses controlled my inhibitions. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him flinch, and that delighted me somehow. He felt remorse about what he done to me, as if that was evidence that he actually cared.

  “I can never apologize enough for that,” Peter murmured, and his fist clenched tighter onto my blanket.

  “Funny. I haven’t even heard you apologize once.” I looked up at him sharply, and he just turned away from me, his eyes softening with guilt and shame.

  “Alice, I never meant to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to protect you. Or myself.” He exhaled deeply, staring out my window for a moment before continuing. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. You don’t know how badly I wish that I could take it back. You deserve so much better than me, so much better than my life, and that’s why I left.”

  “I didn’t want you to leave.” My voice sounded small, and I didn’t understand why but I was almost pleading with him. The part of me inside that had never stopped yearning for his touch was tearing me apart.

  “Really?” Peter looked back at me, surprised and relieved.

  “No. I wanted to die when you told me you didn’t want me anymore. What does that tell you?” My hands had started to shake, and my heart was pounding so loud I could barely hear myself speak. What was I saying? What was I doing?

  “I’ll never stop wanting you. I just couldn’t hurt you again.” Gently, he placed his hand on top of mine, and I felt jolt of electricity shoot through me. It took everything in me to keep breathing. All my senses were haywire. The only thing I could really see were his amazing emerald eyes penetrating through me.

  “Why are you back?” I whispered hoarsely.

  “I don’t think I can stay away from you anymore.”

  He leaned in towards me, but his lips completely bypassed mine. Instead they rested softly on my neck, kissing the skin running over my veins. A delirious moan escaped my lips, and a tantalizing heat went through me. His hand that had been gently touching mine had changed, so it was now pinning down my wrist, not that I minded. I wouldn’t have fought back no matter what he did to me. I welcomed every touch he gave.

  When the sharp prick of his teeth broke the skin, everything was more intense then I remembered. My blood surged through me, hot and silky, making my body tremble with pleasure.

  I had just started to feel his heart pump with mine, but there was this sudden darkness stinging at me, and just like that, he stopped biting me.

  The familiar cold shaking took over me, my body’s reaction to the separation. I had collapsed back on the bed, but Peter was still gripping my wrist, painfully tight. If he squeezed much harder, the bones would snap. He leaned over the edge of the bed, spitting on to my floor, and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening.

  “What did you do?” Peter turned me, breathing heavily. His eyes burned in agony, but his expression was completely bewildered. “Your blood was so bitter. What have you done? Did you let Jack…”

  “Peter,” I shook my head and tried to reach out for him, but he let go of me and backed away.

  “Alice, what have you done?” Peter repeated plaintively, and I had never seen anyone look as tortured as he did then. He ran a hand through his hair, and he looked as if he might be sick.

  “Peter. I didn’t…” I tried to sit up, but this overwhelming dizziness forced me back down.

  The exhaustion I felt before came back in tenfold. A couple days ago, I had lost several pints of blood, and even though Peter hadn’t taken very much himself, I could barely handle what I had already lost. I was trying to think, to reason with him, but my mind was suffocating. The lack of blood and that haze that Peter put on everything were too much. I closed my eyes, meaning to clear my head for a minute, but when I opened them, Peter was gone.

  I knew I should get up and call Jack or Milo or somebody. I had to warn them that Peter was back, and he knew what was going on. I wanted to move, but it was far too much work. There was a myriad of things going on inside of me, and I couldn’t get a handle on any of them. Nothing seemed to be working, and the best I could manage was reaching out for the phone my night stand.

  Chapter 21

  Something was shaking me so hard, I thought I would get whiplash. My body was flopping back and forth, and hands were painfully gripping my shoulders. I tried pushing them off, but I could barely even raise my arms. There was a voice screaming my name shrilly, and I realized belatedly that it was my mother.

  “Mom! Mom!” I shouted, swatting at her wrist the best I could, and the shaking finally stopped.

  “Alice? What the he
ll is going on with you?” Mom demanded, looking at me with wild eyes.

  She sat on my bed, holding my shoulders, otherwise I probably would’ve fallen back onto the bed.

  There was bright sunlight streaming in through the curtains, and not only was my mother actually home, she was in my room. I was trying to figure out what could possibly happening, but my body was just trying to fall back to sleep.

  “What are you talking about? What are you doing in here?” I mumbled groggily, and when I tried to push my hair out of my eyes, I poked myself in the eye. I sort of felt like a drunk person when I tried to move.

  “I just got home. It’s ten o’clock in the morning, and your alarm clock was going off, as it had been for the last three hours. You didn’t hear it? At all?” Mom was looking at me, trying to figure out if I was high or drunk or just sick. “When I came in here, I turned off your alarm, and you just laid there. I thought you were dead.”

  “I’m not dead. I’m just tired.” I tried to shake her off, but she wasn’t letting go so easily. “I’m fine.

  Really.”

  “You slept through an alarm clock and you didn’t wake up until I shook the hell out of you! You are not fine!” Her grip on me softened though, and she pushed the hair of my eyes, probably so she could get a better look and see if they were bloodshot or dilated. “Alice, are you on drugs?”

  “No, Mom,” I batted her hand away, and she finally let go of me so I could lay back down. “I’m just tired. I think I’m sick. Like I have mono or something.”

  “Mono? What boys have you been kissing?” Her voice got shriller and higher, and I tried to bury my head in my pillow to block out the sound. “Is this that Jack boy? Did he get you sick? Is he giving you drugs?

  “No, Mom, no drugs!” The mention of Jack picked at something in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t exactly figure out what it was. “Just go away and let me get some sleep! I’ll talk about this later!”

  “You’re just skipping school today?” Mom asked me incredulously.

  “Guess so. I’m sick! Now leave me alone!” I hit at the air above my head, trying to shoo her away.

  “If you’re not up by this afternoon, I’m taking you to the doctors,” Mom relented and stood up.

  “And I’m having them test you for every drug known to man. Is that clear?”

  “Crystal,” I muttered into my pillow.

  Once she left, I rolled over and tried to clear the fog from my head. I really, really wanted to go back to sleep, but I figured that was just because of the counteractive effect the Red Bull had had on my system. I had forced myself to do too much yesterday, and my body had completely shut down as a result of it.

  Something about Jack was making my heart panic, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. He hadn’t talked to me yesterday, and then I had gone to bed, and then… And then Peter. I touched at my neck, feeling for bite marks, but there weren’t any, not that that really meant anything.

  Very little of last night remained clear to me. Just Peter’s green eyes and the strange fog in my room. But there couldn’t be fog in my room. That’s not even possible. And he had spit my blood on my floor. Mom would’ve freaked out if she saw the floor covered in blood. I rolled over, checking the floor just to be sure, but other than a few pieces of dirty clothing, it was clean.

  I laid back down and touched my neck again. What had happened last night? My had still felt fuzzy.

  Maybe… maybe it had just been a dream. As tired as I had been lately, it didn’t seem likely that I would wake up to any noise. Besides that, Peter and Ezra moved in almost total silence. I doubted I’d even be able to hear them come in.. It was probably just a bad dream as a result of my own obsessive paranoia, my exhaustion, and too much caffeine all rolled up together.

  Just be completely safe, I decided to call Milo anyway. If Peter was in town, it wouldn’t hurt to give them heads up, and if he wasn’t, it would give me a piece of mind. Milo didn’t answer when I called, but that was actually reassuring. If Peter had stopped by, they’d probably all be awake. In fact, they’d probably have called me or come to get me to make sure I was safe. But Milo not answering meant that he was still sleeping, and everything was okay.

  “Hey, Milo, it’s just me,” I tiredly told his voicemail. “I just had the weirdest dream and I wanted to make sure you all were okay and what not. Just give me a call later, okay? Okay. Bye.”

  I flipped the phone shut and made sure to set the ringer on loud, just in case there was trouble and they needed to get a hold of me. In the meantime, I was tired as hell, and I just wanted to get back to sleep. Pulling the blankets over me, I snuggled deeper into the bed and passed out.

  I forced myself out of bed at seven o’clock, before my mother went to work, to prove to her that I was still alive and okay. I was feeling better, but not as good as I pretended to be. Once she left, I took the pills Mae had given me, then downed another Red Bull, and crashed on the couch. While I hadn’t the best experience with too much caffeine last night, I figured that a little could probably help take the edge off the fatigue. At least I was too tired to really feel nervous or anxious, so that was something.

  Milo came over, disrupting my plans to just fall back to sleep on the couch. I sat up and marveled over the back of the couch at him. He looked amazing, as usual, so it was safe to assume that nobody had attacked him in the night. Leaning on the back of the couch, he gave me a curious look.

  “You look like hell,” Milo commented, and that was probably true.

  I’d pretty much been sleeping the last couple days, or I was busy being a nervous wreck. The last time I showered was before school yesterday, and I hadn’t brushed my hair in just as long. My skin was ashen, even for me, and I hadn’t eaten or changed out of my pajamas since the day before. So yeah, I’m pretty sure I looked terrible. I felt terrible.

  “Thanks,” I replied off-handedly. “So what brings you to my neck of the woods?”

  “I came to check on you.” He pushed some of my hair out of my face, and I suspected he’d been spending too much time with Mae. That would explain his visitation. “You sounded weird on the phone, and Mae thought I should see how you’re recovering. Did you go to school today?”

  “I overslept,” I shrugged.

  “Alice, you need to stay on track for graduation,” Milo chided.

  “Oh, like you are?” I briefly considered sticking out my tongue but decided against it.

  I flopped back on the couch, but his expression only got more disapproving. Too bad. He only wanted what was best for me, and right now, what was best for me was lying down and resting, not worrying about school. Graduation seemed pointless, even if I didn’t inherit a fortune from Jack’s family like Milo had. I still didn’t really have any plans for the future.

  “Have you eaten today?” Milo smartly changed the subject. He glanced over at the kitchen, which was devoid of dirty dishes or any other relics of eating, aside from several empty Red Bull cans.

  “Hey. You stopped recycling since I moved out.”

  “You’re not here to make the rules anymore.” Most of the time, I was lucky if I remembered to take the garbage out, let alone sort and recycle.

  “So? Doesn’t the state of the world seem a little more prudent to you now that you’ll be living forever?”

  Milo walked into the kitchen to start sorting out the aluminum cans and empty cardboard box from the Fruity Pebbles I had finished off the other day.

  “As of right now, I’ll be lucky if I make it to next year, let alone forever,” I sighed.

  “You’re so melodramatic,” Milo scoffed. I couldn’t see him, but I heard him puttering around in the kitchen, and my stomach grumbled. I was like Pavlov’s dog. The sound of Milo with cookware made me salivate.

  “Are you making me something?” I poked my head over the top of the couch again to see what he was up to.

  “Yeah. Mae said you need some red meat.” He was rooting through the freezer, looking for some of the
groceries he’d recently bought me. “Listen. Why don’t you go take a shower and get yourself cleaned up, and I’ll make you supper. Sound good?”

  “You know, it’s so silly,” I said as I got up off the couch. “I was staying human so I could stay around and take care of you.”

  He laughed, but it was pretty dumb. Milo had always been taking care of me. What exactly had I been sticking around to do for me? Really, I was just going to keep him company. I should’ve just gotten him a puppy, and let Jack turn me. If I had done that, I wouldn’t be so damn tired right now, and I wouldn’t be on the brink of losing everything.

  The bathroom smelled of flowers and cleanliness after my shower, but when I opened the door, all I could smell was delicious. The shower had given me a little burst of energy, so my stomach was even hungrier than it had been before. Milo had made me steak, and it was so rare, I was a little shocked it wasn’t mooing. He already made me a plate, perfectly set up with spinach, and some kind of rice. As an added bonus, he’d place a single pink rose in a vase in the center of the table.

  “This looks fantastic, Milo!” I gushed as I took my place at the table. “Where’d you get the flower?”

  “I have my ways,” he smiled cryptically, and I decided to leave it at that. I was too hungry to worry about frivolous mysteries. “You look like you’re feeling better.”

  “I am,” I admitted through a mouthful of food. He sat down across the table from me, watching me wolf down my food, and I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. “Its weird eating when you’re not.”

  “I don’t think you’d have much of an appetite if I was eating right now.” He was trying to make a joke, but there was a hint of shame in his eyes. He hadn’t forgotten my reaction to watching him bite Jane, and frankly, neither had I.

  “Thank you. For this,” I quickly changed the subject. “It’s really good.”