by Shaw, Vicki
I am trying to go over and over every conversation that I had over the last couple of years. However, who knows, it may have been something he told me years ago after Mum was killed. Trying to remember every phone call, conversation, and text over the last 12 years is going to be impossible.
I am lost in my own little world thinking and putting papers into my three different piles when Martin places his hand on my shoulder. I just about jumped out of my chair.” Martin, you scared to shit out of me.” “Sorry. It is after 10. Everybody is calling it a night. Do you want to stay the night here or go to the motel?” Martin asked.
I would love to stay, but the beds would have to be changed, and I just don’t think I am up to it emotionally tonight. “I think I will go to the motel tonight and see what happens tomorrow.”
“Okay. I think Jake has rooms booked for us all anyway. He wants to keep an eye on you so being close by will make his job easier.”
Just as we are about to get into the car, my phone beeps indicating a message. A few seconds later Jake’s phone is ringing. I pull my phone out of my bag to read the message. My heart is pounding and my palms start to sweat.
They can’t keep you safe. I will get you and what I am looking for.
I read the message three times before Martin takes the phone from my hands to read it.
I can hear Jake still on the phone. “Yeah, it came through to her phone. She had read it before I had a chance to get to it. Yeah, okay, I’ll see you at the motel.”
“Have they found out where they are coming from? These bastards must be watching because how else would they know she has cops around?” Martin is pacing back and forward on the sidewalk next to the car. I had to sit down before my knees gave out. I sit on the back seat of the car with my feet in the gutter.
“That was Brad ringing to warn me about the message. They can’t get an exact location because it is bouncing off two towers. Whoever just sent that message is in the Mackay area which is not that far away from here. We are trying to get a lock on the phone now but finding one person in an area that size will be like finding a needle in a haystack.” While Jake was talking Martin still paced stopping every now and again like he was going to say something, but then kept walking.
He stopped in front of me and knelt down. Looking into my eyes he must have seen how upset and worn out I was. He pulled me into his arms and yelled over his shoulder. “Let's go. Roxie needs a shower and bed.”
Everyone jumped into whatever car they could. Martin gently pushed me over so he could get in next to me then pulled me onto his lap. He was stroking my hair and kissing my temple. He muttered, “When I find this son of a bitch I’m going to kill him slowly and make him pay for what he is doing to you.” I don’t know if I was meant to hear what he said or if he was just thinking out loud so I didn’t say anything.
When we arrive at the motel, Jake went to the reception desk and got us all a key card for our rooms. Martin had his arm around my waist and steered me to the lift. When we reach our floor, Jake exits first and walks to the door to our room. As he opens it and said over his shoulder. “I hope this is ok. It’s the biggest suite we could get. It has three bedrooms, a sitting room and a mini kitchen. It gives us somewhere we can work on things instead of always going back to the police station.”
I look around and Brad is already there with his laptop open and sitting at the dining room table. This place is like an apartment more than a motel room.
“You two can have the master bedroom. It has its own bathroom. Jimmy and I will take a room each in here and the others will be through that door in another smaller apartment.” Jake tells us all.
“I was going to debrief everyone about today, but Roxie I think you need some sleep. Today must have been hard for you especially after the message.” Jake looks concerned about me which I’m grateful for. There is no way I have the energy to deal with anything else tonight. I just want a hot shower and to fall asleep in Martins's arms. Martin must be able to read my mind or just knows what I need because he leads me to our room.
“Your bags should already be in there,” Jake calls after us.
We walk in the door and Martin shuts it behind us. I walk straight to my bag and grab my oversized t-shirt and head to the bathroom. I leave the door open so Martin knows he is welcome to join me.
I turn the taps on before I start to get undressed so the water has time to warm up. I look at myself in the mirror and can see why Martin and Jake are worried about me. I have black circles under my eyes and my skin has lost all its life and looks pale. I turn back towards the shower and test the water.
The water feels heavenly running over my tense body. I let the water run over my head and face trying to forget the last couple of weeks.
I feel hands slide over my wet shoulders and arms, gently massaging as they move lower. I let out an appreciated moan and lean my head back resting it on the front of Martin’s shoulder. I lean back further so my back is flat against Martins hard chest. He snakes an arm around my stomach and the other over the top of my breasts and hugs me tight. I place my arms on top of his and run my hands along his strong arms
“I’m so grateful you are here with me Martin. I do not know how I would be coping if you were not here.” I place a tender kiss on his forearm that is resting on my breasts.
“I promise you we will find this file and the people who are involved. I will not stop until I know you are safe.”
He kisses my temple, pulls away and reaches for the washcloth. Using the complimentary body wash in the shower he soaps it up and starts to wash my hands and arms. Once my whole body is soaped up, he rinses me off then reaches for the shampoo.
This is heaven. He is massaging my scalp and his skill could rival any hairdresser. I could stay there forever. All too soon he is rinsing the shampoo and adding conditioner. He quickly rinses that out and starts to wash himself.
I’m still standing under the relaxing water watching Martin efficiently washing his body. My mouth waters looking at his magnificent body. It is hard and lean in all the right places. If I weren't so exhausted I would kiss, lick and worship all that male perfection. Once he has washed all the soap off, he turns off the water and steps out. He wraps a towel around his narrow waist and grabs a second towel. When I step out, he slowly and tenderly dries me off.
I am now so relaxed all I want to to do is go to bed and sleep until all this is over. Martin scoops me up in his strong arms, My arms automatically go around his neck. He carries me over to the bed and places me on top of the blanket. He pulls down the blanket and sheet on the other side and slides me over. As soon as the covers are pulled over me Martin settles I behind me. I am warm and comfortable and it doesn’t take me long to fall into a deep sleep.
SEVEN
Roxie
The next two weeks fly by. During the day, we are at the house going through all the files. At night, we go back to the motel where Martin makes love to me. He reads me so well. He knows what I need and when I need it. If I’m too tired to make love he rubs my back and holds me close as I fall asleep.
I have been having more dreams with Mum and Dad in them. Some are memories where others I’m sure are just random dreams. I’m also still having nightmares at least once a week.
My phone is still receiving the threatening messages, but Brad and his team intercept them before they reach my phone. I’m glad I don’t have to read them. It got to the point where every time my phone got a new text message I would jump and start to panic.
Steve never came back to the house but has sent me some messages and called to tell me how sorry he was for his behaviour and hopes we can still catch up while I'm in town. I forgive him because I know he still loves me and it must have been hard for him to see me with Martin. I would like to still be friends and if not friends at least be on good talking terms.
Martin and Jake had to go back to Brisbane for a few days. Jake had a few cases that needed his attention and Martin had business meetings he had
been putting off while he was away with me.
We had a meeting and deiced that the whole team would go back to Brisbane together and return in about two or three weeks. That will give Jake time to wrap up his loose ends and Martin to deal with the urgent matters and move the ones that can wait or be dealt with over Skype or by his other staff members.
Once we arrive back in Brisbane, Martin still wouldn’t let me go back to Carly’s and insisted I stay with him. Of course, the discussion happened while Jake was around and he stuck his two cents worth in agreeing with Martin. Jake also wasn’t happy with the security at Martins. He assigned an agent friend of his that was now a bodyguard to be with me whenever I left the apartment even if Martin was with me.
We were back in Brisbane about three days when I get a call from a company in Perth wanting me to fly there to do a photo shoot for them. They are opening a new resort and need photos for their brochures and TV ads. They will be paying for my flight, accommodation, food and a hire car for 10 days. On the top of that the amount they have offered me to take their photos is unbelievable. I don’t even have to think about it and I say yes.
It will be good to do my one true passion, photography, but also getting away from all the stress. I just need some time to be away from everybody to think things through. Maybe while I’m away, I will be able to remember where the file may be.
They explain the kind of photos they want. Some models by the pool, in the rooms and in the restaurant as well as the resort itself. There will be couples, families and individual models for all the different aspects of the resort. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. My creative mind is working over time and I can’t wait to fly out tomorrow and get started.
It suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t ask where they got my number from. I do not stress too much about it because I do have a basic web page with some of my work that anyone can find. I soon put it to the back of my mind.
When Martin walked in the door, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I told him everything thinking he would be just as excited as I was. What he said had me stopping mid-sentence.
“You’re not going,” He said it like a parent to a teenage child.
“I beg your pardon. I’m not going? What the fuck? You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I thought you’d be happy and excited for me. I told you from day one this is my dream.” I was pissed. No, pissed is an understatement. I’m livid.
“You aren’t going. It is not safe, not until we find this file and the people who are threatening you are behind bars.” The way he said it, it was like it was no big deal. That he was saying, I couldn’t go to the shops or something. Does he not realise this is what I want to do and I will be going.
“You have to be joking right? This is exactly why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. I will be going. I’ve already told them I would do the job and I intend to keep my word. You can support me with this or not. I don’t care I’m going either way.” I’m pacing back and forth. There must be steam coming out of my ears, that’s how mad I am right now.
“Come on Roxie be reasonable. Can’t you see your life is in danger? Don’t you care? I’m not going to let you go away with all this is going on.”
“Did you really just say you aren’t going to let me? I never asked for or need your permission to go. I’m sorry Martin, but I’m going.” Fuck him. If he wants to try and be my keeper, I’m out of here. I’ll go to Carly’s until my flight tomorrow. Most of my stuff is still at Carly’s so I would have to go back there to pack the things I need anyway.
I walk into the guest bedroom where all my stuff still is from the night I got the first text message. I’m just finishing putting my clothes in my bag when Martin walks in.
“Where the hell are you going?” he is not happy. I can tell by the tone of his voice and the look on his face.
“I’m going to stay at Carly’s tonight. I have to get some of my things from there anyway. Plus I haven’t seen her since we got back from Rocky so I can catch up with her as well.” I don’t look at him while I’m talking.
Martin walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. He pulls me against his hard chest. Every time he touches me or we are close I can feel the electricity and heat that is between us. I may be developing feelings for Martin, I can't deny the chemistry between us, but there is no way I am going to let him control where I go or what I do.
“I’m sorry Roxie. I do love you and I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you. What do you say I go with you? I’ll talk to Jake and see if the bodyguard can come as well.” Martin is still holding me tightly to his chest.
I know he loves me and I do have strong feelings for him, but I’m not ready for this. I don’t want someone to hover over me or have a say in what I do.
“Martin, I understand what you're saying, I really do. But, I don’t want you to come with me. I don’t want the bodyguard with me. I want and need to do this on my own. I have my goals and dreams and I am not going to pass this up. I told you from the time we met that this is what I was going to do. I told you not to get close to me because a relationship is not in my immediate future. I’m sorry Martin, but it's over. I really appreciate all you have done for me and being there when I needed someone, but I’m not ready to settle down or give up the only thing I have control over.” This is the control I need. I need to be the one to decide what happens in my life not be told by someone what I can do or where I can go. I also can’t let down my guard. After not getting the support I need from Steve I have come to count on only myself and Carly. But now Carly has her own problems so now it is up to me to be strong for myself. I am not going to put myself in a place where anyone else can let me down or leave me. I know Mum and Dad didn’t have a say in dying but never the less I was left alone and heartbroken.
I pick up my bag and walk out the door.
“I will get Carly to come over while I’m away to get anything I left here,” I say over my shoulder without looking back.
I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest. A single tear rolls down my cheek. I’m not strong enough to look back at Martin because I know if I do I will run back into his arms.
I am glad when I make it down to the lift and out the front door without Martin trying to stop me. I flag down a cab to take me to Carly’s.
Carly is worried when I ring and tell her what is going on but she understands why I need to do this and why I want to do it on my own. I’m glad I have Carly’s support because if I didn’t I think I would have already run back to Martins place asking for his forgiveness.
When I finally pull up to Carly’s house, she is waiting at the door. She pulls me in for a comforting hug. She ushers me into the kitchen and pours me a glass of red wine. We sit at the breakfast bar and sip our wine.
“So you have heard all about my drama, now I want to hear all about what has been happening with you while I have been away?” I didn’t want to come right out and ask about her and Max, so I start with this.
“Not much really. I have just been going to work. Matt came over for lunch the other day and has been checking up on me while you have been away. That’s about it really.” She didn’t look at me once the whole time she was talking. There is defiantly something going on that she isn't telling me. I hope I can get her to open up and tell me before I have to leave again.
“So how is Max? You haven’t really talked about him very much lately and I haven’t seen him around.”
“He has been out of town a lot lately for business. I really don’t know what is going on with us. He has been acting strange but every time I ask him, he tells me it’s nothing. I’ll be glad when he gets back and we can sit down and talk.” She sounds really upset and uncertain about how things are between them.
I feel really bad that I’m leaving again tomorrow. I think Carly could do with me around for someone to talk to. She has always been around to talk to and to support me.
“When I get back we will have
a spa day and a girly weekend. No males and no male talk. We need to relax and not think about men. I feel bad that I haven’t been around for you to talk to and now you need me and I’m taking off again.”
“It’s ok Roxie. You have a lot on your plate and it’s not your fault that you haven’t been here. I know you would be if you had any control over it. Matt has been fantastic. He listens and has been so understanding. The best part is he has never tried to crack on to me. He has truly been a great friend.” Carly’s voice and mood picked up the second she started to talk about Matt. Hmm, maybe there is more to this than she is letting on. This is definitely something I am going to talk more about later. Now just isn’t the time. I know if I did ask her she would just close up.
We talk for a little while longer before Carly goes to bed. I’m not far behind her as I have a five-hour flight tomorrow and I want to get a good nights sleep.
In the morning, I get up when Carly does because I want to say goodbye. I will not be here when she gets home as my flight leaves at lunch time. She offered to drive me to the airport, but I would rather get a cab so she doesn’t have to miss work.
Before she leaves, I ask her to go to Martins to get the rest of my things I left their last night. I assure her I will be back before leaving again to go back to Rocky. If the people who are after me don’t kill me first, I’m sure finding this bloody file will. We hug one last time before she leaves for work.
It’s only early and I don’t have to leave for a couple more hours to make it to the airport before I have to check in. I wander around for a while trying to find something to keep my mind off Martin. He hasn’t rang or sent me any messages. Maybe he really doesn’t love me as much as he said he does and it took me walking away for him to realise it. While I have my phone out, I send a text to Jake. I’m sure Martin would have already told him that I’m going to Perth, but it really is up to me to let him know my plans.
