Beyond Love

by Glenda Diana

  She took his hand and placed it against their son's chest. “'Tis love. ‘Tis the greatest feeling ever felt.”

  “That it is.”

  “We have to talk, Blake.”

  “I know.”

  Thorton yawned. “But it will have to wait. I'm so tired I'll likely not know what I'm saying.”

  He tucked the blankets around her and their child before brushing a kiss over both of their foreheads. “Go to sleep, love. I'll be here when you awaken.”

  She fell asleep almost instantly. Blake sat at her side, watching her and his child. When the baby began fussing, he picked him up. Cradling his son, he tried to remember when he had slept last. He carried his son to the small bed that had been freshly made up for him. Several times he tried to lay down the babe, but found that his arms would not release his son.

  “Milord, it's time you ate something and got some rest,” Griggs whispered from the door. He took the babe from Blake's arms, laid it down and covered it, before pulling Blake from the room.

  Blake came to a sudden stop. “I'm not hungry. A little rest is what I need more.” He covered his mouth as a yawn came forth.

  “I have a bed all ready for you.” Griggs lead him to the room next to Thorton's. “I knew you would want to be close by.”

  “Thanks,” Blake sighed as he sat on the bed.

  Griggs left but quickly returned with a decanter of brandy. “Perhaps you might be needing this, sir. It will help you rest.” He poured Blake a glass. “Drink up, Milord.”

  “Have a seat, Griggs. I would like to talk to you.” Blake waited until Griggs pulled up a chair, then tried to organize his thoughts. “Tell me, or explain, your relationship to Thorton. There's something going on between you.”

  Brief shock crossed the older man's face before it faded behind the usual facade of boredom. He got to his feet and helped himself to a glass of brandy. “I don't know what you are referring to, Milord.”

  “I think you do. Let's start with your connection to Thorton, then explain about the sketches. If I'm not mistaken, you are the one who drew the pictures.”

  Griggs drained his glass. “Yes, Milord,”

  Blake smiled as Griggs poured himself another glass. “How do you know the Lynwood's?”

  “Duke Robert and I were raised together. I was his valet, butler, and often his comrade, depending on how deep he got in his cups. I was in his service until he discovered that Lady Ann was expecting a child. Your father suddenly found himself without a butler and I was most fortunate that he hired me. After a few short days, or perhaps it was hours, I knew why Lynwood and Roger both fell in love with your mother. She was everything that was good and sweet. My mission, my duty, was to make sure you were protected against any and all.”

  Blake was silent for several minutes. “Does that mean all your words of wisdom were not from the man I called friend, but from a man on a mission?” When Griggs did not turn around, Blake felt a tightening in the area of his heart. “Was it all just an act?”

  Griggs bowed his head. The sound of his deep, in-drawn breath filled the room. “It began as a mission. But the moment I saw you, first held you, it felt almost like you were mine. I tried my best to protect you. Even after you'd grown into a strapping young man. Even after you returned from the war. I felt it my right to trounce every vile person who trampled your feelings or broke your heart. I wanted revenge against any that hurt you. You, Milord, were the son I never had.”

  Blake walked over and laid his hand on the man's shoulder. “Most of the time, you were the only father, and friend, I had. I'm relieved it was not all a performance. But, as you're[your] friend, I must inform you that you are still an old crow. I don't know what I would've done without you. You are my confidante, and in most cases, my conscience.”

  Griggs slowly turned, surprise written on his face. A fine sheen of unshed tears glistened in his gray eyes. He nodded, then cleared his throat. “I remember the first time I ever saw Lucas. He was still in napes. Lynwood never paid the boy much mind, for he was a bastard and of little use in Robert's warped mind. Robert had married a sweet woman, Eliza. Eliza fell in love with Robert almost to the point that she worshipped the ground he walked on. She had hoped that with Thorton's birth, he would forget Ann. But he had not.

  “Then your father began drinking and gambling hard after your mother's death. He would have lost everything if Robert had not picked up his markers. He held on to them, using them for the betrothal between you and Thorton.”

  “After the signing of the contract, Lynwood took Thorton home and left a young Lucas to guard her. Year after year he raked in wealth to give to you and his daughter. The last letter I received from him was more than seven years ago. He went on and on about what a fool he had been. That he'd had that one special love, the kind one waits a lifetime for, and never realized it until it was too late. It was rather sad. Robert didn't realize how much he had come to love his wife until she died. I believe that's why he never returned home. Thorton had become a reminder of the love he had thrown away. I think he thought his daughter would place him on a pedestal for all the wealth he had accumulated. Little did he know...

  “One thing Lynwood had not counted on was Thorton's fairness or the love she had for Lucas. She wanted nothing from a man she had never really known, her sire. It didn't matter to her what side of the blanket Lucas was born on, she knew he was older and wanted him to have everything. She saw Lucas as he was ... as he is. He was her father, her guardian, her friend. To a certain point, Lynwood had a good heart, it was just misguided. Like with Eliza and Lucas.”

  Blake was silent for several minutes. This story was almost exactly like the one Thorton had told him months earlier. “And the question you asked Thorton, how did you know?”

  “How could you not?” Griggs asked as if mystified. “I only had the pleasure of meeting Thorton one time before she came to Stonecrest and that was at the signing of the contract. But even then she was wise enough and feminine enough to take me aside and state in a mature voice that she was already in love with you. She feared she would forget you, so I promised I would see she did not. I drew the pictures and occasionally sent them to her.” Griggs took Blake's empty glass, refilling it and his own. He tossed back his brandy, then set down the empty glass. “Am I still in your service, Milord?”

  “No.”

  Griggs took a shuddering breath and nodded. “I understand...”

  “I thought you might. But you are still family.” Blake smiled. “You didn't think you were getting off that easy, did you? You now have another responsibility, and I want you to give him all the love and care you have given me through the years.”

  Joy flitted across the hawklike face. With a slight tug at the ends of his jacket, Griggs took his usual cocky stance, looking like his old, unwavering self. “I'd be most honored, sir. But seeing as how this has become ‘confession’ time, I feel I should come clean on all accounts.”

  “You mean there's more?” Blake groaned.

  Griggs stiffened his spine. “Cook's daughter is mine.”

  The sigh that came from Blake was one of great relief. “I already knew Aggie was yours-she has your eyes. I was just wondering when you were going to get around to do right by the child and the mother. You have tender feelings for Cook?”

  “Yes, Milord. The woman has been trying my patience for many years. I have repeatedly asked her to marry me, have asked her daily since the birth of my Aggie. But the blasted woman has a damned bloody stubborn streak a mile wide and five miles long.”

  Blake laughed. “At least I'm not the only man being whirled about. Now, I think I'll sleep for the next few weeks. Or until my wife awakens.”

  “Very well, sir.” Griggs had almost made it to the door when Blake's voice stopped him.

  “Thank you for all you've done for me in my lifetime. I would've been lost without your guidance and steadfast support. This will probably be the only time I'll say this aloud, so I wish for you to bear th
is in mind should you ever feel doubt ... I love you.”

  “I love you, too. You might not be from my loins, but you're mine just the same. It has been my pleasure to watch over you and see you grow into such a fine man. Now, get some rest.”

  Blake heard Griggs’ faint whistling before it faded down the hall. He gazed at the bed with longing before he collapsed upon it. He tossed and turned, then finally gave up. Silently he went to the adjoining door and opened it. His wife and son were asleep. He made his way to where his son slept.

  'Tis love, Thorton had said. This child, his son, had equal amounts of Bradley and Lynwood blood. Lucas had said the betrothal was not done out of hatred. But Blake had been raised to detest all Lynwoods and the dreaded contract he had been honor-bound to accept. Yet Roger, the man who had raised Blake to feel the hatred, had changed his mind almost from the instant he'd met Thorton. Blake smiled-he, too, had changed.

  He had tried to keep his hate at the foremost of his mind, but with his delicious wife, he found it one of the hardest tasks he had ever endured. His need and desire for Thorton were constant, overshadowing his hate. He ended up falling helplessly in love.

  Blake touched the head covered with downy black hair. His son would not be raised to cherish hatred. What he wouldn't give to make sure the child never heard the word or its definition. But in the world in which they lived, hatred was better known than love. The human race, in its own way, was the cruelest, most deadly, beast God had ever created.

  Blake walked to the bed where Thorton lay. She had been his curse, and yet, his salvation. Careful to not wake her, he climbed in beside her and sighed as he pulled her close. It felt like it had been a lifetime since last he held her in his arms.

  The feeling that overcame him was one he could not name. It felt like he had finally returned home after a lengthy journey. He breathed in her fresh scent. “'Tis love,” he murmured, kissing the crown of her head. He was home whenever he had her at his side.

  And home was where he would stay.

  The conversation he'd had earlier with Lucas came back to haunt him. All you have to do is convince her to come back, Lucas had said.

  Could Blake convince her? How much persuasion would it take for her to return to him? He was prepared to give the rest of his life to the cause. That thought made him smile. He had no life, no future, without her at his side.

  Looking back, he could see it all. Just how she wormed her way into his life, into his heart. She used sweet words, gentle touches, and pure, undiluted, love. She had invaded his home, stormed his defenses, conquered his heart. All within a few short months she had accomplished her one goal.

  But America?

  The hellion had been trying to get at him. She found that didn't work until she'd said she was taking the butler with her. Had she actually planned to travel across the ocean? Did she really want to start a new life without him? Blake's arm tightened around her. He felt the air whiz out of her lungs in a gentle sigh

  He would make her forget about America, and about taking the handsome man with her.

  “You're mine, Thor. Now and forever,” he whispered as his eyes drifted shut.

  * * * *

  Thorton came awake as soft whispers penetrated her sleep. She opened her eyes to find that Blake had laid the baby between them. Her hand automatically went to her belly and she smiled. It had not been a dream. Now she was a mother to a beautiful boy.

  “Say hello to your mother, son.” Blake turned the small head in Thorton's direction.

  “He's so tiny. I thought, he would be half-grown, as big as I was.” She smoothed her finger down the velvety cheek.

  For long minutes neither talked, but watched their son in silence. Blake finally ran his finger down Thorton's cheek, imitating the gesture she had shown him time and again.

  Her eyes widened. She had so much to say to him. Words of pain, of loneliness, but plenty of love. But, at his tender look and touch, the words seemed to stick in her throat.

  “Madame, will you marry me?”

  Thorton's eyes grew wider. “We already are, or had you forgotten?”

  “You, sweetheart, married the biggest arse in England. Now I wish you to marry a man who cannot breathe without you at his side.” Her silence made him feel ill at ease. “I thought I would go insane without you, Thor. I was coming for you when Mr. Taker decided to pay me a midnight visit.” Blake tried to choose his words carefully. He wanted her to understand how much he had missed her, needed her.

  Thorton gasped at the reminder of the man. “Poor Mr. Taker ... it was all my fault.”

  Blake saw the tears forming and placed a finger to her lips. “Mr. Taker is fine, other than the nasty bump on his head. Indeed, he has already visited twice to check on you.”

  To Thorton, the knowledge that Mr. Taker had survived was a relief, but it did not lessen her grief. She had put him in a deadly spot more than once. And out of fear for her, he had gone to Stonecrest to fetch Blake. Thorton wasn't sure she should thank him for that or not.

  “You failed to answer. Will you marry me, Thor?”

  “We have much that must be settled. I have much to tell you. And you have much listening to do ... real listening.” The familiar hurt rose up as painful memories came to mind.

  Blake wanted to make her understand his feelings and yet he had never been good with words. “I talked with Griggs,” he said, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I'm a fool, I admit. Can you forgive me for that flaw, and all the others?”

  She remained quiet.

  “I let mistrust color my view. But I ask that you consider the facts. Never has anyone loved me the way you did. I could not believe a woman would look past the scars and love the man within. I did not even know the man within still existed, thinking he had died years ago.

  “When you left, I drank myself into oblivion, trying to forget ... and yet, your memory haunted me. Everywhere, all I saw was you. I'm asking for forgiveness, and to receive the gift of your precious life force that gives me the will to live. I won't lie-if you should say no, I'll pester you until the end of time, or until you say yes. I was a fool once, but never twice.”

  Blake held his breath. He had said what was in his heart. He wished he could rewind the hands of time to the day she had arrived at Stonecrest. He wished he had listened to his heart and not the coldness surrounding it, coldness that she had warmed with her unquestionable love. He knew he was wishing for much, but he had to believe that some good, some fragment, could be saved, nurtured, to grow into lives that would be forever linked.

  Thorton finally looked up. A scowl marred her brow. She poked her finger into the middle of his chest. Her eyes shot fire. Blake felt his heart constrict.

  “Do!” she said with such force, Blake flinched in reaction. “It's not the way I did love you, it's the way I do. Brand it in that stubborn mind of yours so you will never forget. I will not go through this again. Is that understood? What I feel for you is beyond any earthly love. Few mortals ever get to experience a love like I have for you.” Reaching across their sleeping son, she grabbed a handful of his shirt and tried to pull him close.

  “A love like we both have, Thor, never forget that.” Blake leaned over to seal their lips. She was a forceful piece of baggage, and he loved it. His mouth took hers in a demand as fierce as her words. “Never, will I doubt you again.”

  “You're beautiful,” she whispered. At the look of apprehension on his face, she grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged. “You are beautiful. Say it!”

  “You are beautiful.” He laughed.

  She yanked harder until he howled.

  “I'm beautiful!” he shouted.

  “You will repeat those words every morning for the rest of our lives.” She released his hair and massaged his scalp while her mouth played and teased upon his.

  A sudden loud knock interrupted them just before the door bounced open. Griggs stomped toward them, a scowl plastered on his face. “We all think you're beautiful, sir. But in c
ase you are deaf, the babe is crying.” Griggs lifted the child and immediately started cooing to him. “I'll prepare some sugar water to hold him over till your milk comes in, Madame.” At Thorton's slight blush, Griggs turned. Just before closing the door, he glanced back at them. “What have you decided to name this fine fellow?”

  Thorton adjusted the sheet over her and gifted him a beautiful smile. “Blake Roger Thadise Bradley.”

  Griggs’ gasp was barely heard. He stiffened his back, gave a slight nod, and left.

  “What was all that about?” Blake asked as he pulled her against him.

  “You don't know?” she said, tugging open his shirt.

  “No.”

  “I thought you and Griggs had a talk?” she asked as her hands halted. When she tired to sit up, Blake tried to pull her down. “I wanted to ask about Sarah.”

  “Couldn't this wait?” When he saw the determined set of her jaw he knew who would win the battle. “What about her?”

  “You said you would tell me later.”

  “Why does later have to be now?”

  “From what I understood, Sarah was Neil's spy, right?”

  “Also Thomas’ aunt.”

  There was more to the story, Thorton surmised, either out of caution for her somewhat weak condition, or out of fear of how she would react. “What happened to her?”

  Blake wrapped his arms around her and told her of Sarah's demise.

  Thorton pulled loose of his hold. “What was she doing in your chamber?”

  “Trying to seduce a man she thought was drunk.”

  She chewed her bottom lip. “Did she?”

  “No one-not another soul-has ever ignited my passions like you do, Madame. I want, I crave, only you.”

  “See that it stays that way.” Thorton threw her arms around his neck.

  “Back to our previous discussion-”

  “What discussion was that?” Thorton murmured against his neck. Her tongue licked at the salty skin. “You taste as good as I remember.”

  Blake found it difficult to recall what they had been talking about. He knew it would be a while before he could physically show his love for her, but his body found the possibilities hard to believe while Thorton tortured him with her tongue and moans. Blake held her back. Her face flushed; she had an enchanting look of dishevel about her.