Jesse's Renegade (#3 of the Danner Quartet)

by Nancy Bush

  Twisting the knob, Jesse gazed inside. At first he thought the room was empty, but then he realized Kelsey lay against the pillows, her eyes closed, her face so white it tightened Jesse’s heart. Her hair was fanned around her in its usual glorious abandon. She looked so incredibly delicate and touchable that before he considered what her reaction might be, he’d crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed.

  Fear scored deep ridges on his soul. He could have lost her. The emotions he felt at that moment ripped at him. He had to clench his teeth against a cry of anguish that Montana Gray could hurt her so badly.

  “I’m going to kill him,” he whispered, taking her right hand in his own. Her left hand was splinted, he realized with an aching wrench. “As soon as I go back, I’m going to kill him. For you. For this,” he hissed furiously, his gaze sweeping over her inert form.

  “You’ll end up in prison, then,” she answered, opening her eyes to reveal how very wide awake she was. “And stop squeezing my hand. Are you trying to break it as well?”

  Relieved, Jesse grinned down at her soft lips. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m well enough to be sick to death of this room. Actually, I went downstairs this evening until your brother insisted I take to my bed again like an invalid. So I’ve been lying here awake for about an hour, until you crept in. They don’t know you’re here yet, do they?”

  “No.” He reluctantly relinquished his hold on her fingers.

  In the darkness he couldn’t quite read her expression, but he sensed that she was glad to see him. And he was terribly glad to see her. “Mrs. Danner, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s suicide to step in the path of a running horse?” he asked gently.

  She searched his eyes. “Suicide, or murder… ?”

  Jesse wanted to gather her into his arms and never let go. “It wasn’t an accident,” he answered.

  “Montana?”

  He nodded.

  She closed her eyes, her fingers plucking nervously at the bedcovers. “I’m surprised you’re even here. You’re so—set—on getting even.”

  “More now than ever,” Jesse agreed soberly. “But you asked me to come.”

  He didn’t realize how much those words hurt. You asked me to come. Not, “I wanted to.”

  “Kelsey,” he whispered, cupping her chin.

  His soft voice brought her to tears. “Don’t call me that,” she said, turning her head away, hating her sudden weakness. “Just go away, Jesse. Please. You didn’t have to come. I—I don’t want to see you, now or ever. I just want to be left alone…”

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  In the darkness that followed Jesse’s departure, Kelsey stared in misery at the white-painted ceiling where moonlit shadows danced like demons. She was embarrassed by her outburst, embarrassed and humiliated.

  She’d been delighted that he’d come to Rock Springs to be with her. Humbled that he would risk seeing his family again because she was there. But then he’d called her by name in that achingly loving tone and a dam had burst inside her, and now, oh God! She wanted to die.

  Much more of this and she would put her fate in the keeping of his cruel hands forever. A fate worse than death. Unthinkable. Her worst nightmare and fondest dream.

  A sharp wave of sound—deliriously excited voices from the floor below—swept through the bedroom.

  Jesse Danner, the prodigal son, the scoundrel whose self-indulgent youth had left women’s reputations in shambles, had returned home.

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  The den looked just the same as he’d remembered it—Pa’s mahogany liquor cabinet with its diamond-paned windows glittered like Christmas tinsel in the slow gleam of the firelight. Crystal decanters sparkled against the dark wood, illuminated by electric lamps, dimmed this evening for atmosphere.

  What Jesse had seen of the rest of the house showed the passage of years, however. The distinctive woman’s touch Eliza Danner had brought to the place was missing. Only a few reminders remained of her starchy, upright ways—the highly polished silver, the glossy patina of the dining table, the ornate wall sconces, the heavy, glittering chandelier. But the carpet was threadbare in places, notably from the foyer to the den. And Jesse’s father, Joseph Danner, was grayer, his shoulders stooped, one hand wrapped tightly around the handle of a smoothly polished wooden cane.

  He sat in a straight-backed chair in the den, staring at Jesse with that same expression of disfavor he remembered from his youth. The only real change that Jesse could discern was that Joseph still wore his boots even though he was inside the house. A cardinal sin during the strict reign of Eliza I.

  Jesse stood by the fire, one arm stretched across the mantel. He hadn’t felt so ill at ease since the days his father had taken a switch to him for his less than noble pursuit of Annie. Jesse hadn’t waited around for whatever punishment Joseph Danner would have meted out over his “affair” with Alice McIntyre. He was lucky Joseph hadn’t known of all the others.

  Absentmindedly, he rubbed his scarred shoulder at the memory of Alice’s righteously indignant and miserably aiming father. He was damned lucky to be alive too.

  Lucky …

  I don’t want to see you, now or ever.

  So lucky.

  Tremaine caught the movement of Jesse’s hand rubbing his shoulder, and the corners of his mouth lifted sardonically. Lexie snorted inelegantly, and Jesse glanced her way. Apparently, she, too, had witnessed his reaction to that memory.

  If he’d had any illusions about meeting up with his family again, they were certainly shattered now. All of his youthful indiscretions hovered like ghosts in the room. Even Harrison, who’d been less critical of his younger brother, seemed remarkably restrained and careful as he looked at Jesse through wary green eyes.

  And then there was Miracle. Jesse’s gaze kept returning to her in spite of himself. He marveled at her beauty. Long black hair and blue eyes, and a razor-sharp tongue that was as lethal as her reputed prowess with a knife.

  Quite a collection of relatives. He fit right in.

  “So you married a Garrett,” Joseph said, closing his eyes, as if this and this alone were the cardinal sin.

  Since Harrison had married a Garrett, also, Jesse rightly felt this was hardly an issue. “Yes,” he said in a careful voice.

  “Oh, for God’s sake, Jesse, stop looking like you’re facing a firing squad,” Lexie declared happily. “We’re just all completely undone over seeing you again! And then to find you’re married. And to Kelsey Garrett!” She clapped her hand to her shaking head and laughed.

  “I understand Harrison almost married her,” Jesse pointed out.

  Harrison looked surprised that he knew so much. “Well, yes, but I was—detained before I made it to the altar.” He threw a glance at his wife.

  Miracle’s gaze was direct and, for some reason, filled with the most curiosity. “Harrison once told me you were one of Rock Springs most infamous stories. You don’t look like such an evildoer.”

  “Is that right?” Jesse sent his brother a speaking look, but Harrison shrugged, smiling a bit sheepishly.

  “You look unhappy,” Miracle continued, breaking into Jesse’s thoughts.

  He was taken aback. Unhappy? He frowned, consciously facing the heavy weight lying on his heart. Yes, he was unhappy. Unhappy over how things stood with his wife. Over how he’d jeopardized her life by embroiling her in his own plot of vengeance.

  “Is Samuel coming home?” Joseph asked.

  “No.” Jesse glanced at his father. “He’s following up on who tried to run down Kelsey.”

  “Have any idea who that might be?” asked Harrison, frowning.

  “Nope,” Jesse lied. He would take care of Montana his own way. He didn’t want any interference from his family. There was time—time for Kelsey to mend and for his and Montana’s shipbuilding venture to suck up every bit of capital each of them had invested. Then he would sabotage the whole operation. Burn the place to the ground if necessary. Anything to cripple Gray financially
and have him thrown out of Portland society. The man had bought his way in; it would be interesting to see how many friends stood by him when he was penniless.

  Montana Gray’s blind greed would work against him; Jesse was counting on it. If Gray was foolish enough to believe that Jesse wouldn’t risk losing every cent he himself possessed, he was being incredibly shortsighted. Jesse didn’t care how much it cost—in dollars. But a life, specifically Kelsey’s life, was an entirely different matter. Jesse would sell his soul to the devil before he let Montana hurt Kelsey again.

  Pain slashed through him at the remembrance of Kelsey’s reaction to him. She blamed him for this, and rightfully so: It was his fault. For a moment she’d seemed almost happy to see him, but then those tears. When had he ever seen her cry? It had shaken him down to his boots.

  “Well, it’s bound to be interesting to have you home, Jesse,” Tremaine drawled.

  “What about Garrett?” Joseph Danner frowned, etching deep lines in his forehead. “When Jace finds out Kelsey’s here, all hell will break loose.”

  “He—er—knows.”

  “What?” the whole family chorused.

  Remembering the look on Jace’s face brought a grin to Jesse’s face in spite of everything. It had been priceless! “He’ll probably be by to see Kelsey soon. Probably tonight,” he guessed, though it was well past midnight now.

  “You told him?” Lexie gasped in disbelief. “You told us to keep it a secret!”

  “I wanted him to know,” Jesse revealed. “I kept it from him only because Kelsey didn’t want him to know, but I wanted him to. So I stopped by the Half Moon and gave him the good news.”

  “You’re really in love with her, aren’t you?” Lexie said, her smile deepening.

  Jesse didn’t answer. First Samuel and now Lexie had told him how he felt. He didn’t believe he could feel romantic love, not the kind where two people share everything, two people plan a life together.

  “She’s my wife,” he finally said, as if that answered everything.

  Seconds later the door chimes rang loudly through the house. Since Elsie had gone home hours earlier, Lexie jumped up to answer the door. In the uncertain porch light, Jace, accompanied by his wife, Emerald, stood in tight-jawed conspiracy.

  “I want to see my sister,” Jace demanded coldly. “I want to make certain she’s all right, and I want her to come home.”

  Upstairs, Kelsey heard the doorbell and stopped short in the center of the room, where she’d been fretfully pacing for the past hour. She’d given up trying to sleep, torn between the desire to race downstairs and throw herself into Jesse’s arms and the equally strong need to stay detached, keeping of her own person.

  Cracking open the door to her bedroom, she eavesdropped shamelessly and heard her brother’s ringing ultimatum.

  Jace!

  “Good evening, Jace,” Jesse drawled in a tone guaranteed to send Jace’s blood pressure through the roof. “It’s a little late tonight. Kelsey’s sleeping. I’ll talk to her and maybe you can see her tomorrow.”

  “The hell with that!”

  “Jace.” Emerald’s tight voice sent goose bumps skittering up Kelsey’s arms.

  “In fact, why don’t you wait for an invitation?” Lexie added pleasantly. “From what she’s told me, Kelsey’s not that eager to see you again.”

  This eavesdropping was the height of cowardice. Kelsey threw a dressing gown over her flannel nightgown and drawing a deep, fortifying breath, headed for the stairs.

  At the top of the sweeping staircase she could see her brother’s familiar, autocratic face, and Emerald’s once-beautiful one, now older and pinched with fury. Lexie was regarding them with hostile amusement, her arms crossed over her chest. Jesse was gazing straight at Emerald, and the look on his face was unfathomable.

  “Hello, Jace,” Kelsey said, taking the stairs on legs that were undeniably shaky. Too much of her life had been spent under her brother’s control.

  Jesse’s dark head swung her way in surprise. He flicked a look at Jace that could be described only as savage, then took the steps two at a time, meeting Kelsey at the halfway mark. She gazed at him in wonder. Chivalry she didn’t expect, especially now, as she recalled the searing words of rejection she’d cried just a few hours earlier. But Jesse knew how she felt about her brother, and even though she was certain he hadn’t forgotten she’d ordered him out of her life, he gathered her right hand in his and squeezed gently. She squeezed back, silently thanking him for this support.

  The rest of the Danners had gathered around the foyer with Jace and Emerald standing squarely in the middle. All of them sparkled from the light refracted off the myriad bulbs on the new overhead chandelier. Upon hearing Kelsey’s voice they all looked upward, witnessing Jesse’s reaction to Kelsey with varying degrees of surprise: Miracle and Harrison looked pleased; Tremaine and Lexie shot each other knowing glances; Joseph frowned as if Jesse had committed some notorious act; Jace stared in stupefaction; and Emerald’s face was white and stripped naked with pain. Kelsey, who’d rarely seen her sister-in-law at such a loss, was amused that Emerald was so blatantly upset with Kelsey for marrying a Danner.

  “Why don’t we all step into the parlor,” Joseph said, gesturing to the room opposite the den. “Tremaine, bring the bourbon and sherry.”

  “Is this all right?” Jesse asked Kelsey in an undertone as they descended the rest of the stairs and followed the group into the parlor. His gaze was now riveted on Jace.

  “Yes,” Kelsey said, realizing with a start that she spoke the truth. Jace had no hold on her any longer.

  “You’re sure?” His blue eyes regarded her searchingly and with a touch of wariness. Kelsey was unaware that her eyes were wide with a slow, simmering terror. Before she could answer, he said, “Just a minute,” and left the room just as Tremaine appeared with a tray of crystal decanters and glasses.

  Jesse’s sudden disappearance left Kelsey bereft. She hadn’t realized how dependent she’d become on his support until she stood alone near the doorway. Suddenly she was aware of her state of dress, and the travesty of her marriage, and the circumstances that had led to this unusual meeting.

  “Just in case Jace gets out of line,” Jesse’s voice murmured from behind her. Kelsey swung around as he pressed a rifle in her right hand.

  Kelsey’s eyes filled with gratitude and love. If they hadn’t had an audience, she would have flung her arms around her husband’s neck and told him how sorry she was for the hurtful things she’d said.

  “What in God’s name did you give her a rifle for?” Jace demanded incredulously. “Kelsey! You’ve got a lot of explaining to do. And now is not the time to do it. Certainly not while your husband feels threatened enough to stick a rifle in the hands of a woman!”

  “Oh, Jace,” Kelsey said in a voice laced with amusement. “Shut up.”

  ¤ ¤ ¤

  An hour later Kelsey was back in her room, deliciously recalling every moment of the scene downstairs. Jace had been absolutely livid! He’d bounded to his feet, demanding she listen to reason, and Jesse had told him in plain words that she was his wife, that Jace had no hold on her, and that unless he started exhibiting a more neighborly attitude, maybe he ought to just ride on back to Garrett land.

  That stopped both Jace and Emerald in their tracks. They looked around the room and realized the odds were stacked against them. No one, not even any of the Danners, had expected Jesse to take such a proprietary stand. Even Kelsey had been surprised and delighted. From the instant she’d been reunited with Jesse’s family, she’d realized how little they believed her marriage to Jesse would last. She herself knew it was destined to end, and end soon, but she’d wanted the Danners to believe that Jesse loved her, at least a little. And tonight Jesse had fulfilled that lovely dream.

  Of course it was temporary; she knew that. Just because she’d faced her love for him didn’t mean he felt the same way. But he cared enough to help her deal with her overbearing brother, and for
that she was grateful.

  Kelsey was cuddled in the window seat, her knees drawn up, her gaze through the window to the moon-washed fields and woods behind the Danner house. The house was quiet now. Everyone had gone to bed. Everyone except Jesse, that is, since he wasn’t in the bedroom the Danners all expected him to sleep in. But Kelsey knew Jesse wouldn’t join her in the bedroom even if they didn’t know it. He had, however, given them all the impression that he and Kelsey were happily wedded, so she was curious about how he intended to keep up this farce if he took to sleeping on the downstairs couch.

  A moment later she heard footsteps muffled by the upstairs runner, footsteps heading her way. Mouth dry, she watched the knob turn and then Jesse stepped inside the room, closing the door softly behind him, his gaze sweeping the room until he found Kelsey in the window alcove.

  “Well, Mrs. Danner,” he said softly. “How much do you want to keep up this masquerade?”

  “Very much,” she answered without hesitation. “And thank you for helping me out downstairs.”

  He nodded, passing his gaze over the room, stopping at the doily-covered armchair next to the vanity table. Neither of them said what they were both thinking. Kelsey thought of Jesse sleeping in that chair while she lay in bed and knew she’d never be able to sleep a wink.

  Jesse was thinking much the same thing. He’d waited until the members of his family had either gone home or to bed, then found he didn’t know quite what to do next. If he had any sense at all, he’d just leave. Her tears and anguished words of rejection had hurt. He hadn’t expected them. She’d blindsided him. In his own mind they’d made love and that was definitely progress, whether Kelsey realized it or not, and now, now, to be ordered to leave was enough to make Jesse want to throw her down on the bed, kiss her senseless, and squeeze out the words of love, and torment, and need that were deep inside her.

  Except she didn’t want this marriage at all. She’d told him countless times how much she wanted to end it.