by Lovell, Dani
"Hey, Til, I'm sorry..." Oliver starts and I interrupt.
"No, Olly, it wasn't your fault, I slipped. Everyone just carry on. No big deal, I just slipped! Luke... I'm fine."
"Sure," he says, closing his eyes and dropping his head before taking a deep breath and looking at Oliver, "sorry, Oliver. I was out of line."
"Don't worry about it, mate. Shall we make a move..." he says to the group, clearly picking up on our need for a quiet moment.
Everyone continues to walk and we step to the side, waiting for them all to pass. I slip my arms around his waist and hug him, needing a little comfort. He cuddles me back and rocks slightly. "I'm sorry, Princess. I didn't mean to shout," he whispers.
"It's okay, Luke, but really, I'm fine. It wasn't Olly's fault."
"I just saw him messing about and then you falling... I got mad."
"I know you did! But we mess about, it's what we do, just like you do with Alexia. He doesn't know that I'm pregnant, Luke. He'd never do anything to hurt me, and chances are, even if I had fallen, I wouldn't have hurt the baby."
He nods. "I'm sorry."
We release each other and hold hands to continue walking, "I suppose you'll just have to walk with me instead of Henry, and look after me," I say with a smile.
"Sure thing, do you want to ride on my back again?"
"I want to ride on something again," I reply, winking, "but yes, I'd love to go on my boyfriend's big, strong back again."
He grins and crouches down to let me climb aboard. It's lovely to hug him so close to me like this, Wriggler wedged between us, my face pressing against his.
As we arrive, I can smell something sweet and delicious. "Where is this?"
"This is Wagner Park Clock Tower, and if I'm not mistaken, we're here to make S'mores."
"Oh my god, I've heard people talk about them on TV... tell me more!" I say, excitedly.
"Well, come, let's follow everyone and go make some."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
TUESDAY 25TH DECEMBER/CHRISTMAS DAY (CONT.)
Wow. Had I known the disgustingly gooey amazingness of s'mores, I would have demanded the ingredients be brought to me sooner. Toasted marshmallows and melted chocolate wedged between sweet crackers is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten and I could keep going until I am twice the size I was this morning.
Luke looks at me and laughs as I lick every last bit from my fingers. "I think you like s'mores."
"I love s'mores... maybe even more than I love you, Luke. We might have a problem. You need to make me them, every day for the rest of my life, in order for you to stay in my good books. Okay?"
He chuckles again. "You could never love anything more than you love me, baby, and you know it. I'll make one exception, and that'll be all."
"Just one? So, you don't want to have more than one child?" I ask, more interested than worried. I hadn't thought that far ahead.
"Whoa... wanna give me some time to get used to the idea of one first? Geez..." he says, totally seriously.
"Oh, okay! Sorry, I was only wondering, I wasn't... um..." I feel a little awkward, that wasn't the response I was expecting.
"Hey, Danny, have you made s'mores for Bea before?" he calls out, totally disregarding the conversation we are having, pissing me off a little bit, actually. I mean I wasn't expecting him to say he wants five kids and a country cottage, but he could at least have made me feel a bit better after his panic attack response before entering a conversation about how many fucking s'mores Daniel has made for Bea. Okay, calm down, Til. He's still getting used to it... give him time.
Rose and Emily walk over for a chat, apparently this is one of the activities in Aspen's twelve days of Christmas event. I am trying to get into the conversation, but I can't stop worrying about Luke, who has now walked off somewhere with Alexia. Maybe she's had enough of licking her fingers and wants to lick a bit more of Luke's arse again, instead. Oh god. Here we go again, I thought I was over this stupid jealousy business.
I nod and smile, not really listening to a word these two lovely ladies are saying. Where has my man gone? We mill around for a while as the Berkeley's mingle and introduce their new in-laws to some families they know here. There are a lot of children, I think as I sit back on a bench and observe the happy little faces munching on s'mores.
There's a little toddler girl here being chased by her dad and big sister; she can't be much more than eighteen months, toddling along in her snowsuit - complete with bear ears, holding the gooey treat in her chubby little fingers. I smile as she giggles loudly, her dad giving chase while she wobbles on her feet. She's the cutest little thing with big brown curls exploding from the front of her hood. She waddles over to her mum and throws herself into her arms, covering her mum's ski jacket in chocolate and marshmallow. It makes me laugh out loud, I'm going to have to get used to the idea of my clothes getting filthy... and my house, wherever I live.
I stare at the family, imagining my life in LA with my baby and my Luke - and I get butterflies. I can't believe I've got my man and I'm getting a baby, I didn't even want any of that just a few months ago, but I can't even express how much I want it now.
If I'd never have met Luke, I'd never know this feeling, because I can pretty much guarantee that no one else could make me feel like this. If we hadn't got drunk and persuaded Bea to come to LA with me, I'd never have met him. If we hadn't forgotten a condom that night in the pool, Wriggler would never even be here. These things were so unplanned, but so incredibly necessary to make my life complete.
An arm slips around me and for a moment I think it's my man, but the ever-so-familiar scent of Chloe perfume wafts to my nostrils.
"Hi darling, wotcha doing?" Bea asks, happily.
I rest my head on her shoulder, affectionately. I love how happy she is. "Hello my lovely, I'm just looking around, enjoying the festivities, remembering to thank you."
"Thank me? For what?"
"Well, apart from inviting me along on this amazing holiday; for letting us persuade you to come to LA, for having a fling with Daniel. If it wasn't for you..."
She squeezes me tightly. "Tils, if I hadn't come with you, you would still have met Luke one way or another. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. And you two... are definitely meant to be! And anyway, I should be thanking you. I'd never have met my Daniel if it wasn't for you."
I grin. "Come on then, show me that gem again, make me jealous."
She giggles and pulls her leather glove off, I'm surprised it fits over that bloody great rock. "I never thought I'd hear you say that, darling; jealous of an engagement ring? Well I never! It won't be long before you have one of these, the way you two love-birds are going."
I hold her hand and admire the intricate details of the ring, the beautiful setting and elegant stone. "I very much doubt I'll ever have one like this Bea, he's definitely not short of a few bob, but he's only a personal trainer, not exactly a Berkeley!"
"Hmm... really? Okay then..." she says with a confused expression.
"What?" I ask, "Is he secretly Daniel's cousin or something?"
"No!" she laughs, "It's nothing... just... maybe ask him about that, okay?"
"Why? Is he a multi-gazillionaire as well?"
She laughs again, "just ask about the trainer thing. Okay?"
"Okay. Oh, he did tell me he could give that up if he wanted to, has he told you he's going to?"
"Yeah... yeah, that's it. Just confirm it with him."
"Okay..." I ask, perplexed.
"Oh, and what was that all about earlier? I thought he was going to deck Olly!"
"Oh, I don't know. He thought it was his fault that I slipped. I put him straight, it's okay. Obviously a bit on the over-protective side."
"Yeah but he throws you all over the place, I've seen it with my own eyes..."
"I don't know. Maybe it's okay when it's him or something. Anyway, I'm sure he'll apologise again later."
"Yeah, probably. I know Alexia was telling him off befor
e they saw their friends."
"Oh is that where they are?" What the fuck is she telling him off for? Doesn't like him being protective over me, eh? Jealous bitch.
"Yes, they met some friends. Don't be jealous, it's so unlike you."
"I'm not!" I cry, protesting a little too forcefully.
"Okay, okay. But please believe me when I say Alexia is a lovely person. She's not after your man."
"I know, he's already told me that." And she's obviously able to pull the wool over Bea's eyes, as well."
She puts her glove back on and pulls me up. She links arms with me and walks over to Daniel whose face lights up when he sees her. He kisses her as we reach him and he leans down to kiss my cheek. "Hey Til, how were your s'mores?"
"Daniel, I am thoroughly displeased that you have not introduced Bea to these tasty treats already. She could have been making them all this time!"
"It's all my fault, I apologise," he says, bowing slightly with a gorgeous smile. "Baby, I demand that you invite Tilly over for s'mores when we get back to the UK, we'll take home some of the traditional ingredients."
"Perfect!" I cry, loving this idea, "They can be dessert after Chinese and 'Mad Men'!"
"Oh, I've missed you on our 'Mad Men' nights. Please come back."
"I will, can't wait."
"So what's going to happen with you and Luke now? Are you going to do long distance or what?" Daniel asks the obvious question.
"Well, we discussed me moving to LA briefly, but I'll have lots to organise before then, so I'm assuming we will have to do long distance at first."
"We'll talk about that, Princess," Luke says, surprising me as he approaches from behind and wraps his arms around my tummy. I almost flinch, before remembering he can do that now; he knows what's hiding in there. It's soothing actually, I've got a bit of a stomach ache and his hands slowly rubbing me feels good. I could probably do with a poo, to be quite frank about it.
Pretty soon, the whole gang joins us and we decide it's time to go home, so we slowly walk back to the house; the couples, hand in hand. Oliver threads his arm through both Clare and Alexia's. Charmer.
"Sorry about that, I had to talk with some people and couldn't get away. Why didn't you come find me?"
I shrug. "I don't know, I thought you were busy."
"I would have introduced you. I was worrying about you."
"Worrying? Why?"
"I just was."
"Oh god, seriously Luke, you need to get used to this. You can't be with me twenty four seven. I am a grown up and quite steady on my feet most of the time."
"Til, don't. Okay? I don't know how to deal with this, I'm just doing what comes naturally."
"Okay. Sorry." This could get annoying, is he going to check up on me every five minutes? I decide to change the subject. "When we get back, I want to show you something, just you and me."
"Okay... I don't think we'll have time for fucky-fun..."
I giggle but wonder why he's starting to say no to sex... he never says 'no'. "No, it's not fucky-fun, although that's not such a bad idea..." I say, testing the water to see how he responds.
"We'll see. Why are you rubbing your belly like that?"
"Hmm? Oh, I've just got a bit if a tummy ache, that's all. Don't start worrying, there's nothing wrong with me or the baby."
"Okay, if you're sure," he says, squeezing me tightly, pulling me into his side.
~~~~~~~
As we walk through the door, the wonderful aromas and warm heat of the roaring fire welcome us, there's nothing more homely than a log fire and dinner in the oven. We all remove our boots, coats and accessories before Alexia and Henry arrange some more drinks.
I excuse myself to go and get these uncomfortable tights off and visit the loo, hopefully that'll make my belly feel better. It's probably something to do with the tights digging in to my belly, too. I'll have to remember to buy bigger ones. Maybe stockings, tights are so hideously unattractive.
As I sit in the bathroom, waiting for something to happen, I hear a knock on the door. "Yes?" I ask, who on earth would need to bother me while I'm on the toilet?
"Are you okay? Is your stomach better?" Luke asks.
"Yes, Luke. I'll be down in a bit, okay?"
"I'll wait. You wanted to show me something..."
Oh for god’s sake. Can't a girl poo in peace? "Yep. Be out in a sec," I say, deciding to give up, nothing worse than someone - a boy in particular - knowing you're having a number two.
I wash up and open the door, finding him perfectly sprawled on my bed, staring at his scan picture which he must have brought it in with him. God, I love this man so much, I'll forgive him disturbing my bathroom moment purely because he's so gorgeous.
"So, sweet cheeks, what is it that you wanted to show me?"
"Well..." I say as I bend to retrieve my iPad from my bag, "come and see this." I sit on the bed and he moves next to me, wrapping a leg around my side and sliding me into him. I can only imagine how hard the muscles in his thighs are flexing right now... mmm...
I open my Bounty Pregnancy App and slide the gauge to sixteen weeks, before placing my iPad in front of him. "Here you go. I look at this every week to see what Wriggler is up to. I thought you could read it first this week, so you know something about the baby before I do. Then, maybe you can tell me about it. Role reversal, what do you think?"
He looks at the screen expressionless before looking back at me. He unexpectedly kisses me, hard, holding my face in his hand. He looks down at my belly region and then back into my eyes. "I think it's awesome. Thank you."
I shrug and smile, brushing his broken cheek with my fingertips.
"So this is what the baby looks like in there?" he asks, pointing to the picture on the screen, "Little arms and legs and fingers..."
"Yep. Cute isn't it?'
"Incredible," he says before continuing to read the page. "Okay, it says you need to think about your birthing plan... do you have one of those? What is it? It asks if you want a birthing pool. When do we need to buy that?"
I giggle, but control it, I don't want him to feel silly. "A birthing plan is deciding how I want to give birth. I haven't done that yet. A birthing pool is a pool you can give birth in, we don't have to buy one unless I want to have the baby at home. I can use a birthing pool at the hospital, depending on which hospital I give birth in."
He rubs his forehead again, a sign of stress I have learnt. "Okay, shouldn't you have done the birthing plan?"
"No, we can do that another time. There's plenty of time, besides, I think that decision should be made with you."
"Thank you," he says as he continues to read for a few moments. "It says you'll need new clothes. So we need to go shopping."
"Luke, we don't need to go shopping. Most things still fit me, I've only been having issues because I'm trying to hide it. I might need to get some of those bellyband things so I can leave my trousers undone, but that's it."
"Yes! Bellybands! It talks about those here! Okay. We better find some of those."
I hold his forearm... wow, my hand hardly goes around it, he's so muscular... Tilly! Focus! "Luke, honestly, there's no rush for any of this stuff. Okay?"
"Okay. So, do you use Saunas?" Oh god, he's on a roll!
"No. Or hot tubs, as we discussed."
"Okay, so we don't need to worry about that..." he says, mentally ticking off each topic on the page.
He pauses for a minute, reading the next part. "Oh man! It's like... this big!" he says excitedly, making a space between his forefingers. "Five inches! And it can suck its thumb! Holy crap, that's amazing!"
I smile, loving that he's doing this and enjoying it.
"So, you can feel it moving, right?"
I nod.
"That means your placenta lies closer to the back than the front. Did you know that? Is that bad?"
"I didn't know that, so thank you for telling me," I say, stroking his arm again. "And I'm pretty sure it's fine."
"M
aybe we should check it out?"
"Luke, stop worrying. It's fine."
He continues to read. "Whoa, your breasts could get even larger and more tender... do they hurt?"
"Um, yeah, they do, but I like it when you touch them. Don't stop doing that."
"Okay..." he says, shrugging, and he lifts his hand to cup one of my boobs as he continues to read, making me laugh out loud. I know he's being funny, but it feels oh-so-good.
"Mmm, don't let go," I say, closing my eyes and resting my head back on my shoulders.
"It really feels that good? I'm only touching it?"
"I know, but they ache and you holding them is like an incredible massage... and it really turns me on."
"So if you get hungry in the night - drink milk, the end!" he says before tossing the iPad to the side and pouncing on me. I laugh loudly as I fall back into the bed and he kisses my neck, growling. He slips his hand under my dress and glides it all the way up to my chest, sliding my bra out of the way and holding my boob in his big, strong hand. He fondles gently and I moan loudly.
"You really like that, huh?" he mumbles against my neck, grazing my skin with his teeth and tweaking my nipples between finger and thumb.
"Oh god, yes..." I whisper, arching backwards, forcing myself further into his hand.
"I want to kiss it and lick it. I want to suck on your nipple..." he says as he kisses his way from my neck to my jaw.
"Oh god, I'd come, I know it."
"Are you wet, Princess? Do you want me?" he whispers, seductively.
"Yes... yes..."
He slips his hand away from my chest and I whimper loudly, before I feel his fingers slide into the lace of my knickers. He moves slowly down, past my clit making me flinch, until his finger slowly circles the outside of my entrance.
"You are, baby, you're so wet for me. There's a house full of people waiting on us, and you want me to make you come?" he whispers into my ear, his voice gravelly and sexy.
"Yes, yes... yes..." I moan, my head writhing against the pillow. He kisses the corner of my mouth and brushes my lip with his hot tongue and he pushes his fingers deep inside me slowly. "Fuck yes!" I cry in a whisper, as he pulls his fingers straight out again and glides them up to my clitoris, to circle it firmly.
