by Lovell, Dani
He stands, gawping, saying nothing. I grab his hand and pull his glove off, throwing it in the snow, and I place it on my belly. Oh bejesus, his hand is freezing... "See? Can you feel that? He's fine! My stomach is warmer than anywhere else because I wrapped up appropriately. I am and will be a good mother, Luke, and I don't appreciate your bull-shit, making me feel otherwise." What an arse-hole. I hope I'm not getting a glimpse into life with Luke, I couldn't be with someone who tries to make me feel like a bad mother.
He stands still for a moment, staring at me, his hand pressed against my stomach. My face must be scarlet, I am so massively furious. He rubs his forehead with his other hand and then looks down before pulling me against him, slipping my top down again. He wraps his big arms around me and kisses my head. "I'm so sorry, Princess. I'm sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean that, it was unfair. I know you take care of our little Wriggler. I know. I'm sorry."
I close my eyes and sigh, relaxing into his body. "You do know, which is why that comment makes me so fucking mad. Don't do that shit, Luke. I can't listen to stuff like that."
"I know, I know. I was being a total ass, I don't know why I said that. I just worry..."
"But why? Don't you trust me to look after myself? I've done a good enough job so far."
"Yes, you have. Come on, let's get you inside and forget it." He picks me up and carries me to the house. I rest my head on his shoulder and snuggle against him. I hope he gets over this quickly, or we're going to have some pretty bad teething problems.
We curl up in front of the fire once we have changed into our comfies, Clare and Oliver are on one of the sofas talking, while we sit on the floor together, soaking up the heat from the smooth, amber flames. I lean back against his chest and close my eyes, Wriggler is having a dance and I automatically put my hand on her. It's a good thing I'm not facing the other two.
"What is it?" Luke asks, and I subtly take his hand and rest it against the spot where I felt it move.
"Nothing, it just moved that's all. I wish you could feel it too." I whisper.
"That's so cool," he says and I look up at his face. He is smiling beautifully, those dimples make me want to squeeze him like crazy.
"It is cool. Can we... um, can we like, get back to normal now? Try and get along? Because these few fall-outs of ours have killed me. I hate not being 'us'. I know we have a lot to think about, but we're in this together. Please try not to get cross with me and I will try to remember that you need time to get this clear in your head. What do you say?"
He tightens his hold on me and kisses the side of my face. "Sure. Of course, I'm sorry about everything, I love you so much, you know that don't you? You are everything."
My heart aches with love for him. He is my everything, and more. "Yes. I do, and I hope you know how desperately I'm in love with you, Luke. I missed you so much today."
"I missed you, too. I came home straight after you texted me."
"Oh yes, I forgot about that. Did you come back because you missed me, or because you wanted to make sure I hadn't gone bungee jumping?"
He chuckles. "Bit of both... maybe... I panicked a little when I couldn't find you and then remembered your text so I went out there looking for you."
"And I was rudely awoken. You could have given me a big pash or something..."
"And I should have. What a wasted opportunity. Kiss me now," he says, leaning down to reach my face with his. He moves his hand from my belly to my face and strokes it gently as we begin to kiss. He is so slow and caring, making the most of each second. He pulls away after a few moments and looks into my eyes. "Now suck my big dick, hot stuff."
Of course, as always I laugh out loud. He's so funny. "I am so up for that, you know I can't resist your man-sausage, let's do it."
"Where do you want to go? Bed? Balcony? Kitchen?"
I giggle again, "Garden, boot of the car, Daniel's library..."
He grins, "Tub?"
I get a rush of excitement immediately. "Definitely. Let's go."
We stand to excuse ourselves and just before we speak, Pam enters to tell us our dinner is served. Fuck it. Luke hangs his head and grins. "I forgot about eating. Later, Princess. Alright?"
I sigh loudly, "Okay. I suppose we do need to eat."
~~~~~~~
Dinner was delicious. A big, hearty, turkey and ham casserole with dumplings, it definitely warmed my cockles after my chilly sleep earlier. Luke was constantly asking if I needed anything else, or if I'd had enough, it was very sweet but I'm still quite concerned that he is so worried all the time. Is this normal? I don't think it is but then again, I have nothing to compare this to, it's not like I've ever done this before. I wish I could call and ask Gem. He's being very affectionate, but he's just a bit... odd.
Clare and Oliver decided to join us in the media room to watch the film, so no hanky panky went down in there. Well... okay, so there might have been a little bit of hanky panky under the blanket. He's a naughty boy like that... and I love it. But we didn't have sex or BJs or anything too fun, just a few snogs and a little 'touchy feely' - nothing obvious.
When we finally go upstairs after the film finishes, Luke turns the bath on and I sit on the bed, excited, looking forward to getting down to it. He comes back in and immediately goes to the door. "Be right back, Princess," he says with a wink and disappears. What's he up to?
He arrives back shortly after, with his arms full of Christmas gifts. "I don't know how many you got me, Til, but I picked up the ones with my name on, and of course my gifts for you."
"Ooh! Yay! I totally forgot about the presents!" I respond, bouncing on the bed with enthusiasm, "how exciting!"
He sits opposite me and places the gifts between us. "You first," he says, looking at the gifts and choosing one for me to open.
"Thank you!" I say with a huge smile as I open the large, festive box. Inside, I find a tan cowboy hat, quite plain with a simple twisted plait around the base. I grin, broadly as I pull it out and put it on. "Wow, you did get me one in my size, I love it! I can't believe you remembered that you said that. What do you think, cowboy?"
He leans forward to brush my fringe out of my eyes and reposition the hat, smiling deliciously. "I think you look smokin' hot. It really suits you."
"Thank you, it's so cool." I rise onto my knees and lean forward, wrapping my hands around his neck. He puts both hands on my bottom and squeezes, making me giggle into our kiss. I look directly into his eyes and smile at him. "I mean it - thank you. I really love it."
"You're welcome, babe. You always turn me on, but I seriously want to do you in that hat right now."
I laugh and immediately follow with a moan of anticipation. "Let's do these gifts quickly because I need you."
"Okay. You want another one?" he asks.
"No, you have one first - although I only have a couple for you. You pick."
He chooses the larger, flatter gift and slowly begins to tear open the wrapping. He pulls out the white, rectangular jigsaw with a picture of two hearts meeting at their points. One heart is the Union Jack, the other - Stars and Stripes, representing the two of us. In the middle, where they meet, it says 'I love you'. I watch as he looks at it with an odd expression on his face; he looks almost... sad.
It takes a while for him to look up and speak. "Til... I..." he begins, and I start to freak out a little, what's happening? What is he about to say? He looks up at my face and drops the gift on the bed, leaning towards me to pull me close and he kisses me hard. He's passionate, fervent and desperate, kissing me like he hasn't seen me for months. I get totally carried away by this unexpected gratitude for my little jigsaw, and thread my hands into his hair, moaning as I kiss him back, forgetting my worries instantly.
He takes my hat and throws it onto the floor as he grunts, sexily. I immediately want to tear my knickers off, he doesn't even have to say words - just hearing his delicious noise turns me on. I pull him further against me with his head, fisting my hands and tugging his sexy hair
hard, trying to take control. We kick the gifts out of the way as we slink down in the bed together, legs sliding against each other, bodies writhing. He holds me down, his tongue expertly working mine; he's taking me, he's in control and no amount of hair pulling is going to change that, so I lay back and let him, enjoying every single second of submission, my skin tingling in anticipation.
"I love you, too," he utters beneath his breath as he pulls back slightly to begin kissing and licking my jaw. Suddenly, he looks up, abruptly. "Holy fuck!" he cries, leaping off me, making me jump.
"What the... what?"
He rushes to the en-suite, shouting as he goes, "The tub!"
Oh, whoops. Fucking bath, ruining our moment. I lay back and catch my breath, I was getting seriously worked up there.
He emerges with a smirk on his face and leans against the door frame, looking at me. "Well that was close."
"Tell me about it..." I look him up and down slowly, taking in his gorgeous physique through his casual clothes. His hard cock presses through his tracksuit bottoms and I become utterly preoccupied - focusing on that and not a lot else. It is so inviting, so big and ready... I could just pull those trousers down and let it spring free in front of me...
He clears his throat, obviously. "You, uh... you want something in particular?"
I grin as I tear my eyes from that favourite place and look at his face. "Yes. Yes I do. Are you going to give it to me?"
"Maybe," he says cooly.
"Maybe? Oh, I see. Well maybe I'll just take what I want?"
"Oh you will? Hmm, okay. Let's see how that works for you."
"You know I can get what I want from you with very little effort. You love it."
He pauses and grins from ear to ear. "Really? Like the other night in the club? You got something - but did you get what you really wanted?"
"No. But you were being mean."
"Oh right, and what makes you think I won't be mean now, Princess?"
"Because you love me too much. Because you can't help but give me what I want because I have your cute, little baby inside me."
"What?!" he cries, "You can't use that!"
"Why not? Because I'm right?"
He pouts and narrows his eyes, crossing his arms. "Maybe."
"See... I'm going to get what I want."
He raises an eyebrow, challenging me so I slide off the bed and sink to my knees on the floor. I crawl over to him and look up at his face; he is grinning perfectly. I smooth my hands up his thighs slowly until I reach the waistband of his trousers and slowly hook my fingers around it. I smile at him and gently tug them down, slowly, staring into his eyes as I do. It's incredibly difficult not to break this eye contact to gaze at my favourite appendage, but looking at him like this, while I slowly strip his bottom half, is so overwhelmingly erotic. I'm ready for him, but more than anything, I want to taste him.
My eyes locked to his, I take him in my hand and firmly run my fist back and forth, feeling him swell further with each stroke. His mouth opens and he blows out, looking alternately between my eyes and my hand caressing him. Keeping eye contact, I lean forward slowly and reach his tip with my tongue, and I lick it indulgently. He groans out loud and grimaces as he rocks his head back to rest against the wall.
I know he's loving it and it makes me need him all the more. I look at him in my hand and get that tingle down in my lady bits, it's just so perfect. I don't waste a second before I plunge him into my mouth as far as I can take him.
"Oh sweet Jesus, carrots, and peas..." he cries and the laughter rumbles in my throat, but I refuse to remove him from my mouth. "Fuck, baby... so good..."
"Mmm," I moan, sucking, lapping, plunging deep. I love that I can feel him like this, so intimate, so close. Kissing him in the most erotic way, tasting that part of him that I adore, the part that gave me my purpose in life. It gave me Wriggler.
It's an erotic, sexual experience, of course, but I truly love this part of him and the deeper I take him - the harder I suck, the more I feel I am expressing exactly how much I love him. All of him.
He raises his arms and thrusts his hands into his hair as he groans loudly again. I caress his balls with my other hand, gently, moving the precious flesh with my fingers as I move faster with my other hand and mouth around his cock. "Oh god..." he moans, preparing me for what's coming, and I get a buzz of excitement. I love it when I make him come, however I do it, just knowing that I can do that to this big strong man - take him to that place of complete ecstasy - makes me revel in excitement.
"Til... oh shit, holy fuck... Tilly!" he moans loudly as he comes hard, grunting and growling. One hand slips down to rest on my shoulder - not holding me against him or using me for leverage, just gently resting against my skin, affectionately, as his orgasm weakens and finally diminishes.
He stands still, panting for a moment as I slowly lick him lightly and ease him from my mouth.
He grunts quietly through pants and I reach up, running my hands under his t-shirt to rest on his taut abs. I adore this body, I would adore his body even if he wasn't so immaculately built, it belongs to him and that's what I love. But it is a super-fantastic bonus that he's an Adonis and I get to stare at him forever and know that other women want him. He's mine bitches.
I slowly stand against him and wrap my arms around him, resting my cheek on his chest. His arms snake round me and hold me tight. "Fuck, Princess - you're definitely an expert at making me blast off..."
I giggle. "That's because I love it when you 'blast off'."
"I love how you say that, 'blahst'." he says, chuckling, "Your accent is hot."
"Thanks. So, shall we have a bath now?"
"Yeah. Can we stand here for a minute first? I don't think my legs are gonna work."
I laugh again, "Of course."
We bathe together, our wet bodies sliding against each other, it's just as well I'm so small, he barely fits in the bath himself. It's comforting, warm and wonderful lying here with my big bad-boy, having him hold me and wash my body. We don't say much, he seems a little quiet but that's okay, he's probably still coming down from his forceful climax a few moments ago.
I think that we are finally getting back to the way we were, he's still getting used to it, but he's coming around. We're getting there. I lay back against him, close my eyes and smile. This is us, our family here together, in love. I have got exactly what I never knew wanted and I feel so lucky. I can't wait to tell everyone now.
We finish unwrapping our gifts in bed; Luke opens the 'long distance' pillow cases that I bought him, one with a drawing of a girl skiing, her tracks leading all the way over to the next case, with a boy tumbling down the mountain behind her in a heart shaped ball of snow. When I saw it in the shop I thought it was so sweet, and relevant to us. He seemed to like them a lot.
I open my last two gifts from Luke, the first - a bunch of rabbit themed socks, 'tube socks' as Luke calls them. They make me laugh, they are very cute, and I know they will turn Luke on as soon as I put a pair on. Who'd have thought that socks of all things would be considered 'hot'.
Of course I slip a pair on straight away, teaming them with Luke's t-shirt, before opening my final gift. A beautiful pair of tear-drop, diamond stud earrings. They are amazing, you could see the sparkle a mile off and I absolutely adore them. I am so surprised to have received diamonds from Luke, and I instantly throw myself at him, tightening my arms around his neck.
"Lukey, thank you so much. They're beautiful. Thank you. You didn't have to spend so much on me."
"Til, enough of that. I'm glad you like them."
"Oh, I do, I do! I love them," I say as I kiss his lips.
"Let's sleep," he says, somewhat nonchalantly, taking me by surprise.
"Oh, okay." I respond, confused. "Everything okay?" I start to clear the bed, moving the gifts and wrapping paper to the floor.
"Sure. Careful, Til..." he says loudly, grabbing my hip as I lean over the edge of the bed to drop some more paper.
/> "I'm perfectly fine, Luke."
"You could hurt yourself, come on."
"Oh god. Seriously, you have to let me live, you can't wrap me in cotton wool, I am only leaning over the edge of the bed, I won't fall off, I won't pull anything, I won't harm either of us."
He rubs his forehead with his fingers again and I can see I'm trying to hold back. He wants to say something.
"What, Luke? Spit it out."
"Nothing," he says, lowering down into the bed, "forget it, let's just get some sleep."
Maybe he's realised he's worrying too much. I don't know, but I think it best to just lie down with him and forget it.
I snuggle into my pillow, watching him get comfortable, and decide to change the subject. "So do you want to take me, bad-boy?" I ask with a wink and he smiles at me, running his fingertips up my arm.
"Not tonight. I'm kinda tired. That okay?"
What? No to sex, again? "Um, yeah. Is everything okay? Ever since I told you, you don't seem to want to have sex as much."
"No. Everything is fine. I'm just tired after snowboarding today."
That excuse isn't washing with me, but we can broach the subject tomorrow, I don't think I'll get anywhere tonight. Maybe I'll sit down with him and discuss my concerns about his worrying and about the sex thing. It's so unlike him.
"Okay." I turn and face away, wriggling back against him.
He holds me close and kisses behind my ear. "I'm sorry, Princess," he whispers , and I wonder just what it is he is apologising for.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THURSDAY 27TH DECEMBER
I stir very early, it must be about three, and Luke is kissing my shoulder and neck over and over again, his hand firmly holding my tummy as he whispers about how much he loves me. It's too early to wake fully and I feel myself falling back into the deep sleep of a moment ago with a contented smile on my face as he continues to kiss. His sniff is the last thing I hear as my dream takes me down a dark corridor of the school I went to as a child.
