by Lyssa Cole
I bite my tongue. I want to lash out, scream at her. But I won’t.
I can’t. She’s got a point.
But for me, I won’t rest until my parents’ deaths are avenged.
“Please, Gabe. Listen to me. Your mother wouldn’t have wanted this for you. Move away from the city and start your life fresh. What happened was the worst tragedy imaginable, but you don’t have to get revenge. Your parents would want you to move on and live peacefully.”
“I know, I know. I just…” I grit my teeth and push down the urge to throw my phone. “I can’t let go. Not yet. Not until justice is fucking served.”
My aunt sighs and whispers to someone before speaking. “I’ve got to go, Gabe. Stay safe, okay? We love you.”
“Wait…Aunt Maria? Hello?” I look at my phone and see the call disconnect.
Shit. This is not good. Not fucking good at all.
I toss my phone down on the outdoor table that sits out here, checking to see Luna happily playing. I buried treats in there earlier, she’ll have fun digging them out.
I clench my fists and go back to pacing.
I can’t sit still.
What in the fuck was Andrew thinking?
Mason is the worst one to trust. He’s a weak asshole who bows at everything my uncle barks. He’s the youngest of the three of us and of course my sweet mother babied him. Hell, she babied all of us, but she used to tell me I had to be strong to survive. I was her oldest, I had to lead the way, set an example for my brothers.
I did what she told me, joining different sports and strengthening my body in any way I could. Damon followed suit, but he got tempted into drugs, drawing him into the wrong crowd. I tried to pull him out, but he fought me, sneaking out anyway.
Mason was young, a child at the tender age of ten when my parents died, and he never got the chance to grow up before our lives were destroyed.
Andrew knows everything about our life, our fucked up bullshit. He plays both sides and now he’s gotten himself in some serious hot water, which will only trickle down to the rest of us.
My aunt says ignore it? Ignore it all and let it continue to happen?
The memories of my childhood come rushing back, the darkness, the evil, the pain.
It lances through my chest and white dots flash in front of my eyes. A cold sweat breaks out across my forehead and my breathing picks up.
I can’t. I can’t let it go.
How can she even suggest that to me?
All three of them deserve to pay.
To pay for their sins and all the grief they’ve caused.
I won’t rest until it’s done.
I throw a punch into the air, envisioning a boxing bag dangling in front of me.
I take a few deep breaths and shake out my hands.
Alicia’s face pops in my head, and I relax. Slightly. I want her. I need her right now. More than anything.
I want to spread her all over me and bask in her warmth.
If only I could get her. But she’s in New York City.
The last place I want her to be.
It’s dangerous. Scary as fuck and I can’t fucking protect her when I’m not there.
Red hot fury pushes on my chest, and I’m ready to pound on something.
Fuck this shit.
I take Luna inside and call Joe. He answers on the second ring.
“Joe? Meet at the gym in twenty. I need to beat the shit out of something now.”
“You got it, boss, see you then.”
I slam my hands on the counter, my heart pounding in my ears. Grabbing my keys, I rush to the gym before I destroy something I’ll regret.
Alicia
“What kind of cut are you looking for today?” I walk around the woman sitting in my chair, debating what’d be a good style for her. Her hair is long and falls down her back in loose waves. It’s thick and uneven in spots, needing a good six inches of dead ends cut off.
I wait to see what the customer will suggest first. No hurt feelings if I’m totally off base. What I see as a good fit, some people don’t want.
She crosses her legs and sits up straight as she studies me studying her hair in the mirror. “I think a trim is good, maybe some layers?”
I nod. “Layers could work.” I move to the front and think about how she’d look with angled layers framing her face. “How about some angled ones in front?” I show her with my hands how it could look, and her eyes light up.
“That looks nice! Do you mind shampooing me?”
“Sure.” I help her from the chair and lead her to the sink area. After washing and conditioning her long hair, we move back to my area, and she settles in. I start with the comb, brushing through the thick locks.
“Are you from around here?” I try to make conversation to ease the tension and pass the time.
“No, I’m here on business with my husband. Hoping to finish soon. I didn’t think I’d be here this long that I’d need to get a haircut.” She rolls her eyes and snaps her gum.
A little attitude and a hint of Southern accent comes out, but she’s pretty and seems nice.
“What do you do for work?”
“Oh, uh, my husband and I work in sales. We do a lot of traveling.”
“Interesting. I just met someone recently who does the same thing. Maybe you know each other?” Gabe said he travels for business sales, too. I wonder if it’s the same company.
Thinking of him reminds me I should call him, let him know I’m back in town. The past couple of days were spent busy around the house, catching up on chores.
Hopefully he’s still around. My stomach rolls at the thought of him gone without the chance to say goodbye.
He wouldn’t. Right?
She waves her hand and shakes her head, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Nah, we’re here alone for the company we work for. I doubt it’s the same.”
Her eyes dart around, and she shifts in her seat. I comb her hair into sections as I decide where to trim first. A loud chime sounds and her phone lights up on the counter.
She reaches for it, but I’m closer and help her out. My eyes glance at the screen and there’s Gabe’s face smiling up at me, the name Hubby splayed across the bottom.
I blink in shock as she takes the phone from my hand. She answers, a huge smile on her face. “Hello, there, hubby. What’re you doing, my sexy man?” she drawls, her voice sickly sweet, and my blood boils.
Relax, Alicia. Maybe it was someone else. Someone who looks like Gabe.
“I’m only kidding,” she says, barely paying attention to the fact I’m as still as a statue standing next to her. “What happened, Peter?”
Peter? See, it’s not Gabe.
Shit. Peter? Isn’t that Gabe’s partner’s name?
A rush of relief passes through me, but it’s gone as quick as it came. I stand behind her, moving close to the ear the phone is pressed to, and the top of the phone peeks out from above.
I lean in close and see the eyes I’ve come to know so well staring back at me, his voice clear as day over the phone.
Her sweet voice laughs, and I clench the comb and scissors in my hand.
In and out, A. Breathe in and out.
“Okay, we can meet for dinner.” She giggles like a schoolgirl and without any control to stop myself, my hand clutches the scissors tight, cutting a chunk of hair from the back of her head.
A sick feeling comes over me as I stare at the thick lock of hair in my hands. Fuck.
“Bye.” She clicks the phone off.
I ignore my brain that screams at me to say something, anything to clear up this mess.
I finish her hair as fast as I can, no more words being said. I cover up the chunk I cut out the best I can. As soon as she’s out the door, I rush to the bathroom, my entire lunch coming up.
I heave until there’s nothing left and drag myself up. I splash my face with water and drag myself to the break room. Grabbing my keys and jacket, I hurry out, letting Deanna and Lilly know I’m
not feeling well.
Once inside my car, I collapse against the steering wheel, sobs racking my body.
He’s married? How can he fucking be married?
What about his name? Is it Gabe or Peter?
Why is he lying to me?
I shake my head, not wanting to believe it. It can’t be true.
There’s no ring. No sign of a woman in his townhouse. Nothing.
I punch my steering wheel, scalding tears pouring down my cheeks.
The sobs subside, and I lift my phone to call Ruby.
What a lying asshole.
Chapter 17
Gabe
“Who in the fuck does that kind of shit?” Anne screeches. She’s pacing in the living room of my townhouse, her boyfriend watching her every move.
Anne showed up here unannounced and welcomed herself inside with her boyfriend in tow. Luna’s barking her head off from the backyard, not happy with the intrusion.
“What’s going on?” I cross my arms, glancing between the two.
“This! This is what’s going on!” She holds up a section of her hair in the back and underneath, there’s a huge chunk missing, a very noticeable chunk by the way it was cut. “Do you see this?” Anne comes closer, pointing to her hair. “What’s wrong with that bitch? She fucked up!” She drops her hair, throwing her hands in the air. “How am I going to fix this?”
“Relax, relax.” I hold my palms up. “Maybe it was an accident? Did this happen at the salon we’re watching?”
“Yes,” Anne snaps. “When I went there to scope out the place, I figured why not get a haircut. Blake said it’d be fine to browse their products, but I was afraid of looking out of place.”
“Who cut it?”
“A woman with wild curls. I should’ve known by looking at her frizzy mess.”
I stand up straighter, processing her words.
Curls. Wild, frizzy curls.
Fuck!
My arms drop to my sides, and my hands clench into fists. “Did anything happen while she was cutting it?”
Anne studies me for a second. “No, not that I can recall. Wait, I did answer my phone.” She points at me. “You called, remember? Earlier today?”
She’s right, I did.
Fuck again. Alicia must’ve heard me.
“Damn, I’m sorry, Anne. Maybe she didn’t even realize.” I shrug my shoulders.
Her boyfriend snickers behind her, and I swallow back my laugh.
Anne spins around. I swear steam shoots out of her ears. He’s gonna get it.
“What’s so funny, Colin? God forbid your precious tattoo guy fucks up on your ink. You’d be pissed too.”
He rubs his chin. “Yah, but that never happens. My guy knows his shit.”
Anne screams. “You men don’t understand!” She throws her hands in the air and heads for the door. “I’m not going back there, whether Blake wants me to or not. Colin, let’s go, I’m starving. Bye, Gabe.”
Anne glances back, giving Colin the death stare. He follows her out the door like a puppy dog, and I shake my head.
“Later,” I call, then I fetch Luna from the backyard. She scrambles inside, her nose going wild over all the new smells.
I leave her to it and search for my phone. I find it on the kitchen counter and pull up Alicia’s name, pressing it to call her. I meant to call her earlier this week when she got back into town, but work sucked all of my time.
Now she must think I’m married. Shit. How am I going to get out of this one?
“Hey.” Her voice comes over the phone, and my stomach clenches.
“Hey there, yourself.” My voice comes out huskier than I wanted.
Silence comes over the line. Shit, say something. Anything.
“How was your trip?”
“Fine.”
“Did you enjoy your time with Ruby?”
“Yeah.”
Shit, she ain’t making this easy.
“Are you hungry? I’d love to cook for you tonight. Want to come over?”
“No,” Alicia snaps. “I’m busy tonight.”
“All right. How about tomorrow night?”
“Busy then, too, Gabe. Or should I call you Peter?”
Fuck. “Alicia, listen, can we talk?”
The sounds of heavy breathing and sniffles come over the line. Please don’t be crying.
“Alicia. Just hear me out, okay?”
“Fine, but honestly, what does it matter anyways? We aren’t anything. We were only having fun, right? Besides, I don’t really care what your name is.”
I close my eyes, her words lancing through me.
She’s right. That’s what we said.
Why does this hurt, then? Why do I feel the need to explain to her, to hold her in my arms, to make her understand?
I never feel that way with anyone. Ever.
I can’t start now. I just can’t.
My heart conspires against my brain, but in this moment, my heart wins.
“Maybe you’re right. But all I know is, this shit isn’t sitting well with me. I need to see you and talk to you. But it’ll have to wait. I told my mom I’d stay here with her tonight. She had a treatment today and isn’t feeling well.”
“I’ll come to you then. I’ll help you take care of her. I won’t spend the night. I have to get back for Luna.”
“I…I just don’t know. Don’t you need to be with your wife?”
There it is. She said it.
“My wife? No. I told you I’m single.”
“That’s not what I saw earlier today. Your wife came into my hair salon. And she called you Peter.”
“She isn’t my wife, Alicia. Believe me.”
“How can I, Gabe? Your picture was clearly on her phone with the name hubby across it.”
“I can’t talk about this on the phone. I’ll be over soon, okay?”
“Fine. But it’d better be good.”
Alicia
I pop chocolate kiss after chocolate kiss into my mouth and stare at the sky, wrapping my shawl tighter around my shoulders.
Gabe will be here anytime now, and I wish I’d stood my ground and said no.
What is he going to tell me? No, I’m not married, I just show up on girls’ phones with the name hubby.
The chocolate isn’t working to soothe me, and I throw the bag on the patio table, my stomach queasy.
Hear him out, see what he has to say.
Ruby, my mom, Mel, Maddie.
They all tell me the same thing. At least he’s not running and hiding. He wants to talk, explain his side.
I hear his truck pull in, the engine loud. A wave of nerves run through me, my stomach flipping. Hurrying inside, I hang my shawl over a kitchen chair and make my way to the front. A soft knock plays on the door, and I open it wide, his entire frame filling the doorway.
Goddamn, he’s sexy.
My eyes run over him from head to toe. I feel my insides clench, desire filling my every pore. He’s wearing sexy, tight dark jeans with a fitted black shirt, his leather jacket hugging his arm muscles nicely.
Absolutely fucking delicious.
“You going to stare at me all night like I’m your midnight snack or are you going to invite me inside?” He grins down at me, and I flush.
I step back, and he walks by me, his familiar scent filling my nose. God, I’ve missed that smell. I didn’t realize how delicious it was until now, until I’ve gone without.
Shutting the door, I move to the living room and sit on the couch. Gabe comes over and sits next to me, his leg brushing mine.
I ignore my feelings, my heart beating loudly in my ears.
He takes my hand, his large one covering my small one. I should pull away, but I don’t. “I’m not married. Anne’s my partner from work and we sometimes use that as a cover.”
His words run over me, and I lift my eyes to meet his. “A cover for a traveling salesman? Why would you need a cover?”
Gabe shrugs. “It helps with sales, I guess.
And I like to keep my real name private. So, when I’m working, I use the cover name of Peter, complete with a fake ID. I didn’t want to say that in front of your coworker the other day, so I said Mia mixed my name up with my partner. I need to keep my cover a secret at all times.”
A part of me finds what he’s saying sketchy, and I’m not quite sure I believe him. I glance at his hand and there’s no wedding ring, but that doesn’t mean anything.
I stand, pulling my hand from his, and move to the window. I stare outside, wishing the answer would just come to me.
I don’t trust when it comes to love. Period. It’s not worth it.
Heartbreak is one of the worst types of pain to suffer through.
I saw it with Mom. Dad crushed her soul with his infidelities.
I experienced it myself with Jack, thinking I’d give love a chance. It was worth a shot.
Instead, I was left to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.
“I know you’re hiding something, Gabe. The hushed phone calls, the leaving without a reason, without an explanation…I can’t take it.”
“Alicia, you know, it’s my job—”
Before he can finish, I’m halfway to the kitchen, not caring to hear the same tired excuses. He’s behind me, hot on my trail.
“I’m sorry, Gabe. I…I can’t do this anymore. Not like this.”
“Alicia. Wait.”
“What?” I spin on him.
“I have to stay undercover. Otherwise I put you, myself, my job at risk.”
I shake my head, wanting to understand, but I…
I just don’t fucking know.
A pair of strong arms snake around my waist. I lean back into his solid frame, moving my neck to the side as he nuzzles in. His scruff rubs on my sensitive skin, and I shiver. Damn it, my body is such a traitor.
I can’t fucking resist him.
Gabe will be the same way. He’ll hurt me.
He’ll fucking destroy me.
I pull away and spin around. “How do I know?” I whisper.
He grabs my waist and pulls me close, his face burying in my curls. “How do you know what?” he whispers back.
