Guignol's Band

by Louis-Ferdinand Celine

  “Ah! You don’t know?… Well, what then?… Which petal are you going to choose?… The green? The yellow? Blue? Indigo?…”

  Ah, what a jam! He’s hustling me, jostling me, plaguing me, like the winds of the world!

  “That’s not all! Tara-Tohé! Charm of Being!… The weight escapes from your body!… You’ve seized the Flower!… The Waves seize you, sweep you up in turn! They carry you off!… they transpose you!… wherever you wish!”

  Well! Well!…

  “You evolve!… You travel about in the atmosphere as you please for months… months… Weight no longer exists for you! You have entered…”

  Ah! He doesn’t dare finish… he’s seized with terror… it’s too serious! I reassure him… so he whispers it to me, murmurs it… just for me alone… but I can’t hear him!… I can’t hear anything… on account of the player piano! He’s forced to yell it to me…

  “…into the fourth dimension!…”

  Ah! That was swell!

  “Nobody can touch you any more!… Reach you!… Put you into prison!… You’re free! the Free Man of the Waves!… The darling of the strains of the world! You are, in a word, all music!… Harmony!…”

  Ah! That’s superb!… Ah! I’m getting along fine!

  “Ah! I can’t ask for anything better!… But say, we’re not in Tibet!” I point out… Maybe he’s being carried away?

  “Not yet, young man!… Not yet…”

  He looks at me angrily! What’s wrong with me that I should doubt?… I’m with him! I get enthusiastic again!

  “Ah! I’m ready to leave!”

  I reassure him again! Nothing holds me back! All for the Faith!… I was thinking meanwhile of Matthew who was bound to be in a hurry… who wouldn’t hesitate a second about throwing us into the jug! Ah! I wanted anything so long as we went far away and right away!… Very far!… As far as possible!… Without a day’s delay!… So that we wouldn’t run into Matthew!… For me that was the main thing!… With the magic Flower or not… to China!… To the Devil!… Wherever he liked!… But by God let’s get the hell away!

  “Well, are we going?…” I ask again… I’m pretty patient, but all the same he’s beginning to irritate me.

  “Sh! Sh!…”

  He pats me on the back of my neck… he calms me like a dog.

  “Easy does it!… Easy does it!… You impetuous youngster!… Don’t get delirious! You’re getting worked up!…”

  He wasn’t ready yet! More delay! More hitches! He found me impulsive… he was busy with his tie… he was tangling up his bow… he had to think about it some more… ah, listen, an idea for me!

  “Here’s something for you! Learn it for tomorrow!… I’m going to give you a lesson… Don’t waste a minute… Prepare for your trials… We’ll be seeing each other… Now learn it by heart… repeat five or six times inhaling as little as possible!… Tara-Tohé!… Madrapore!… Armantala!… Horpoli!… Horpoli!… The most common one!… And then evoke with all your might!… Ah! With all your might! Evoke in green! In jade green! As hard as you can!… That’s a good beginning… Do it again especially at night!… These are the rudiments!… If you see any form appearing in your dreams, don’t hasten! No brusqueness… Concentrate!… That’s all! Sniff at your first petal! As you close your eyes!… Armantala Horpoli!… murmur this way… Horpoli! Horpoli! That’s all… murmur the name first! Later on you’ll shout it! Concentrate!”

  Ah! He slaps his forehead! Ah! He’d forgotten!

  “Ah! I’ve got to leave you! Ah! My visits! Ah! What a scatterbrain! Don’t follow me! I’m disappearing! Remain here for a few minutes! Let me go! I’m disappearing! Please be discreet!”

  He smiles at me affectionately.

  “Sh!”

  Two fingers to his mouth!… Big mystery!…

  I was about to ask him whether it was really worthwhile, whether the whole thing was serious…

  He cuts in!… He hands me his card, his address… everything… no discussion!

  He leaves on tiptoe… Near the door – ah! – he changes his mind! About-face! He comes back and whispers…

  “Above all, don’t talk about Achille!… To anyone!… Achille Norbert! You hear me? Ah! To no one! The Cult of the Dead!… Oh! Utterly secret!… Absolutely between us… What jealousy!”

  I reassure him.

  “But tell me! Where’ll I see you again?”… Ah! I’m asking questions, “What day? What time?”

  In short, he’s backing out.

  “You’ll be led by the spirits!”

  I call that nerve! He doesn’t wait… He turns about… Waves goodbye all round! A casual gesture!… He trots through the bar… With the dragon on his rear… He goes out the door… The men at the bar are laughing… They’re razzing him… I don’t say a word… I don’t look… I just sit… I’m waiting for him to be far away.

  * * *

  All in all, I dragged around like that for two or three days… I didn’t want to go pestering him… Still, I had his address… Rotherhithe… the section just after Poplar… But I wasn’t too keen about it… I wanted to think it over some more… whether there mightn’t be another way… But I didn’t want to drag around all day long… one pavement to another… to get nabbed by the cops… I find a little boarding house in Beckton Lane, I lie down… fall asleep… I wake up… Ah! Feeling better!… My mind’s made up!… I say to myself, “All right, here’s my chance!… I’ll pull him out of bed!” I hop onto the bus… the 17… I find his place right away… right near the bus stop… 34 Rotherhithe Mansion… no different from the other houses… I look for his name on the box… I find it! Rodiencourt, fourth floor… I ring… I climb up… Here I am!…

  Someone half-opens… a head…

  “What is it?”

  “It’s me! Ferdinand!” I call out… “Ferdinand for Monsieur Sosthène!”

  “Go away!… Go away!… Monsieur Sosthène is in bed!” Ah! it’s not easy!

  And the door slams! Violently!… Sorry… none of that!… I knock… the head reappears… the person talks French but with an accent… American…

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to see Sosthène… Monsieur Sosthène!”

  “But I’ve told you…”

  “I’m Monsieur Sosthène’s horseman!” I insist… “He’s my boss!… I’m his standard-bearer!”

  Might have known about it!…

  We look each other in the face… She’s not so young any more… Still and all, a pretty little mug!… She must have been quite a number once upon a time… You can see the remains… but among the wreckage!… What powder! Cheekbones blazing with rouge… fiery hair, a big shock full of white-and-yellow streaks, all unkempt, falling over her nose…

  She leaves the door partly open.

  “Where are you coming from?” she asks me.

  She keeps her broom in her hand… She’s been cleaning… I explain matters to her a little… We get into conversation… She’s loosening up… all the same she’s defending her door… She’s wiggling her behind a little… in the doorway, while talking to me… she’s getting kittenish…

  Finally what with one word and another she admits he’s not in… that he left very early… though that wasn’t like him…

  She sort of murmurs, she’s boring me… she talks somewhat like Sosthène… in confidential whispers… he taught her…

  “Are you American?” I ask.

  “Oh yes!… From Minnesota!”

  And she laughs.

  I want details… I try to get her to talk about travelling… since they’ve travelled so much…

  She puts down her broom.

  “Does he really know China? And India? The way he says? I think he’s bluffing me.”

  “Oh yes! He knows all about them!”

  And then a deep sigh!… Ah! Enough
to pierce your soul!

  And bango! She leaps to my neck!… It’s sudden!… I’ve set it off! Damn it, I didn’t come for that!

  I push her away… she wiggles… she grabs me…

  “I’ll tell you about it!… I’ll tell you about it, good-looking! I’ll tell you everything!”

  She wants me to kiss her… she insists… She’ll tell me everything…

  She’s treacherous.

  “Never believe him!”

  Ah! That’s interesting…

  I listen.

  We sit down on the folding bed… It’s a big panelled apartment just under the roof… trunks… chests all over the place… made of wicker… wood… iron fittings… huge ones, little ones, of all kinds and dimensions… Still more trunks… open… closed… on top of one another… fabrics everywhere… Chinese robes… pottery… books all around… scrolls… parchments… lying around… a terrific disorder… almost like Claben’s place… I get off the bed… I prefer the armchair… embroidered with lotus flowers and what not… more chests filled with scrolls… they’re overflowing… falling all over the place…

  She goes back to her housework… She rummages in a closet.

  I call out to her… “So you travel a lot?”

  That interests me.

  “You mean he never stops! Never stops!”

  She sighs again, her hair falls over her face… She starts sweeping… She whips up a really big cloud… She sneezes! That’s enough!… She’s tired… she sits down…

  “Are you from Paris?”

  A question.

  It makes her chuckle, she thinks it’s funny that I’m from Paris… I must be lecherous…

  “I think you’re good-looking!” she remarks.

  Ah! A hot bunny! I see what’s coming, I talk about something else…

  “Have you known him a long time?”

  “Since we’ve been married!… What a joke! It’ll be thirty-two years at Christmas! That’s not yesterday!”

  “You’ve seen a lot of countries!”

  That’s the only thing that gets me excited…

  “Come over here, good-looking!”

  She invites me next to her.

  “I’ll tell you the whole story!”

  Fine, very good!…

  “You’re just a big bad boy, too!”

  She starts pawing around!… I don’t respond much… all I want is details about India, etc.…

  “So he’ll be leaving soon?”

  “Oh yes! Oh yes! Darling!”

  She sets the whole bed clinking… with her fidgeting… rubbing on the edge of it!… She takes off her apron… she tosses it up in the air! Ah! She’s pretty nervous! She dashes off to put on some powder… She comes right back… She’s getting me tired…

  She’s certainly not pleased that I’m not responding to her cuddling. She snorts down my neck, pecks at my eyes… I manage her as best I can… she overpowers me… I’m being hugged… covered up…

  “Ah! What a little lecher!” she exclaims… “Oh! He’s as lecherous as Sosthène! He’s come to seduce a poor little woman and then he’ll drop her, won’t he?… Oh! The little scoundrel!… The rascal!”

  Making a scene already!… A quarter of an hour that I’ve known her! I calm her down a bit… I kiss her right in her make-up! On her rouged cheekbone!

  “Are you bored with me? Tell me, you little trifler!”

  What could I answer?

  I went back to kissing! I didn’t want a scene!

  “So you’re going to torture me?…” she whispers passionately…

  I don’t feel like torturing her!…

  “You’ve suffered too, haven’t you?… I can see it in your eyes!”

  She pulls me towards her, she lifts up my eyelids… to look at the blueness of my eyes… she’s hurting me! She’s a passionate number… that puts her into a trance! She quivers, slips out, escapes!…

  “I’m going to make some tea for you, sweetheart!… Samovar tea!”

  She disappears… she’s busy in the back… fussing around… in the nook behind the partition… she’s rattling the pots… I take another look at the decor… Chinese stuff everywhere… from India… ibises… more papers, trunkfuls… chests… and buddhas… a whole lotus tapestry… and warriors… javelins…

  “Is he coming back?” I call out.

  “Are you bored?” she answers.

  Here she comes, balancing the samovar… She goes back to the kitchen again… a regular coming and going! She calls out over the partition… “You think I’m still pretty, don’t you?… Has he shown you my programmes?… I played the Wonderful Flower!… For twenty years!… Did he tell you?”

  Back again… now on my knees!… She’s simpering.

  “I was raped, my love!… Raped!… You understand?”

  “Ah? By Sosthène?” I ask.

  “Yes.”

  Sighs.

  I was going to hear it all.

  I pet her… pet her…

  “He and his troupe were on the Australian clipper… the giant liner Concordia… He was returning in triumph from the Chicago Fair!… The women passengers were all crazy about him!… If only you’d seen him!… With his big troupe of Brahmans!… You can’t imagine how handsome he was!”

  Suddenly she starts covering me with kisses!… She goes for my cheeks, my eyes… she laps both my eyelids!… You can’t imagine how greedy she is!… She bites my nostrils!…

  “Like you!… Like you!… Yes, like you!”

  Good-looking as Sosthène, that’s not very!… According to what I saw!…

  At any rate it excites her!…

  “Sweetie!… Sweetie!…” she’s lapping me again…

  “What were you doing on the ship?”

  “I was a manicurist, my angel! Let me see your hands! Oh! What hands!… How lovely they are!”

  Ecstatic right away! She gets pleasure out of everything!… She fondles them… turns them over…

  “Oh! What luck!… What awful luck!”

  She saw it right away!

  “No heart! My! My!… No heart!”

  And she snuggles up again all palpitating!… She hugs and pets me!

  “Take the Flower of San Francisco!”

  I can’t get away from the flowers!

  It’s an offer.

  She lies in my lap, she writhes, she convulses! What can I do?

  She gets up again… she dashes to the other cupboard… She brings back a bunch of photos!… There she is in tights, it’s her in 1901!… The programme… the year! enthroned in a chariot of roses… “The Beautiful Fairy”! The attraction!

  “The Chicago World’s Fair!” she exclaims.

  Ah! That’s something! “The Beautiful Fairy”!

  She starts necking again.

  “Don’t you know how to love?”

  I distress her.

  She pecks me, she shakes me, rolls me around.

  “Not at all?”

  Really I’m not interested… I’m more the curious type… I ask her why all the trunks?… All that equipment? All that dragon business?… the buddhas?

  “Don’t you know the magic trunk?”

  I astound her!

  “He’s the one who discovered it all! Of course! Didn’t you know?… The secret of the magic trunk?… Oh! It’s prodigious, you know! You’ll see!… Nothing inside!… You open it this way!… Nothing at all!… Then he invokes the Spirits!… You see! Armfuls! armfuls of roses! They come up from the bottom!… That’s it!… And the fragrance!… You think you’re dreaming… Marvellous!… marvellous!… And then The Beautiful Fairy! That’s me!”

  The memory of it sent her into ecstasies…

  “It was one of his ideas! I loved him so! From the very first day! Immediately! Th
en and there! Our idea!… Right from the start!… I couldn’t leave him… He carried me off for his troupe… He made me change ships… We were married in Brisbane!… He loved me… I loved him!… We took another ship… We had to! The Corrigan Tweed!… A four-master!… Oh! I regretted nothing! Because he loved me he made me flower of the trunk!… Sosthène!… What love!… What years!… For twenty years I was Queen of Magic! I appeared in the heart of the roses!… Look! I popped out of the trunk! Just like that! Pop!… When he uttered the word! Pop! The Rose of San Francisco! Look! Just like that! It’s printed there all over!”

  She showed me her clippings again… always in tights… a whole album! No one else! Always her! Never anyone but her!… In a chariot!… Without a chariot!… Languid… triumphal!… In a palanquin! In a rickshaw!… Always her! With a smile!…

  “How the spectators adored me! You’ve no idea!… They called me the loveliest of the roses!… Afterwards in Cairo!… Then in Nice!… And then after that Borneo!… Sumatra! the Sunda Isles… and then India!… And then Hamburg!… Two years!… Here, look, in London… the Empire!… Look, 1906!… The Crystal! And then Paris!… The Olympia!… And then we went back to India!… Again! Then Sosthène went wild!… We were welcomed everywhere with our Brahmans!… And, darling, such gifts!… It turned his head!… He saw red! If you had seen!… The lovers I refused! And the diamonds!… They all wanted me to divorce him! The Rajah of Solawkodi… He wanted to build me, just for me, a little opal temple!… Do you know opal, darling?… Oh! My beloved! Take me! Why are you so tired?”

  What could I answer?

  “A little opal temple!… Can you see it?”

  She was smiling blissfully!… Beaming with the memory…

  A kiss for the beauty! She’s got to continue!…

  “So Sosthène went mad! As I’ve told you!”

  “Why?”

  I wasn’t listening closely…

  “Jealous! My angel!… Jealous!… Imagine, he was still in love with me! What jealousy, my darling!… A madman!… He couldn’t sleep because of the Rajah!… He couldn’t even eat a sandwich!… Or sleep!… He made love all the time!… He began to make me suffer!… On purpose!… The flowers weren’t enough for him… He put me to magic death!… Do you know what magic death is?”

  No, I didn’t!