by Lux Miller
“Luca, please… it’s so… fuck…”
That’s all I can manage to get out of my mouth as he leans over me, still furiously pumping two of his fingers inside of me. He drags his tongue along the valley between my breasts, then shifts his face to capture one of my nipples between his lips, sucking hard enough on the pebbled flesh to make me cry out in surprise. I shove my hands into his hair, grabbing hold of it tightly in my hands. I yank hard on his hair and he pulls off my breast, scooting up my body more to capture my lips with his.
I gasp as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, shifting his body between my legs. He pulls his fingers out of me and slams his hand to the bed beside my head, propping his weight up off of me as he twists his hips enough to line his erection up with my opening. I pull my head back, my hands still tightly wound in his hair. “Just do it. I need to come with you inside me.”
He nods and rolls his hips, thrusting his dick inside me as I arch my back to meet him. I bring my hands to his face and jerk his head down so that he’s looking dead at me as he drives himself inside of me. My cunt tightens around him like a vise grip as I grunt and bite down hard on my bottom lip. His breath is uneven as he mutters, “Emily… you know I can’t hold back…”
I nod and brush my thumbs gently across his cheeks, mewling with abandon as his entire body tightens over me. “I know, Luca, I know. Empty yourself inside of me.” Luca growls as he pulls his face out of my hands and pushes himself to his knees between my thighs, gripping my hips as he throws his head back and grinds himself against me without pulling out. Watching him come completely apart in the most feral way tweaks something inside of me as my body twitches under him. I bring my hands to his forearms and drag my nails down his skin as I close my eyes and grip his wrists, the pleasure overwhelming me to the point that I almost forget to breathe.
When I finally inhale the sex-scented air, my chest heaving with the adrenaline coursing through my system, Luca drops his head back down, sweat beading across his forehead and running down his face to drip down to his chest. I stare in awe as the rivulets of sweat follow a pre-carved path down the ridges of his muscled body. When I finally drag my eyes back up to meet his, I can barely speak. But as Luca starts to pull out of me, I shake my head and tighten my grip on his wrists. “No… stay…”
Luca’s eyebrows knit together as he holds himself up off of me with his hands on the bed beside my head. I take the moment of calm and quiet to let my eyes rove over his naked body, tracing along the the hundreds of lines that make up the tattoos he’s had since we met. I reach my right hand up to his chest and trail my index finger along the same lines as they intersect and intertwine over his heart.
I close my eyes as I feel his heart thudding in his chest. I drag my finger over to his bicep and freeze as it brushes over one of the many scars I’ve discovered. I pause there and open my eyes to look up at him. “Do they really all cover scars?”
Luca nods solemnly as he looks down at me. “Gunshot wound when I was nineteen.”
I inhale slowly and exhale as I drag my finger down his arm to his elbow, pausing over another ridge. Luca tenses, but sighs. “Knife fight in high school.”
Shuddering, I drag my finger across his chest to a tattoo that wraps over his collarbone and onto his back. I stop when my fingers feel the raised skin of another scar. “Cigarette burn from three years ago. Pit boss didn’t like my face, so he tried to burn it. I fought back and incapacitated him, but not before he could extinguish his cigarette against my bare skin where my shirt had been ripped open.”
I maintain eye contact with him as I drag my hand back up to his chest, stopping just over his heart. He flinches and murmurs, “Initials that I carved myself.”
I can feel the wetness prick at my eyes as I nod in acknowledgement. I don’t have to ask whose or when they were put there, but Luca offers the information anyway. “Mandy’s and our unborn son’s, carved with a piece of broken glass shortly after their deaths.”
I bite down hard on my bottom lip to try to stop the tears from escaping my eyes, but I fail miserably as several streaks of warmth wet my face. Luca sighs and reaches up to my face with one hand, gently brushing away my tears. Then he leans down and kisses my cheeks softly.
“La famiglia has taken so many things from me. Irreplaceable things. And I have never dealt well with grief. Every scar is a memory that I’d rather forget, but every tattoo is a renewal of what that scar means to me. I’ve been pushed to the brink of my sanity with loss, but la famiglia hasn’t always taken. It’s given, as well…”
I swallow hard and drag my hand diagonally across his body so that my fingers are resting against the outline of the tattoo that Tua is working on. Luca swallows and closes his eyes as he shifts between my legs, his semi-hard penis still buried inside of me. I let my own eyes drift close as several heartbeats of silence pass between us before Luca speaks, "There was a point in my life where this lifestyle had taken everything from me. I almost let the darkness end things. I’ll never forgive my father for calling a hit on himself and making it Dante’s burden, but I understand it. I’ve been in that dark place myself, and I cannot lay here and tell you that I never attempted to end it all, because I’ve sworn to be honest with you.”
I gasp as my eyes fly open. Luca’s confession makes my heart ache for him. I’ve been inundated with the darkness myself, but even in my darkest hour, I never reached my breaking point. To know that Luca has not only reached it, but gone beyond is devastating to hear, and it makes me want to wrap him in my arms and protect him from the world. His voice is barely above a whisper as he confesses, “The wolf on my back is my guardian…”
I gasp and shake my head. “Luca...”
Luca sighs. “I’ve never been good with alcohol, not even as a young and stupid kid who shouldn’t have even had access to it. I’d been absolutely wasted to the point where I couldn’t even see straight and I was stumbling around. I was in a bad place after Mandy died, and I did some seriously stupid shit. I didn’t do it regularly, just when the pain was unbearable. And then one night, I just lost the will to keep fighting. I was tired of hurting. I was tired of replaying the nightmare in my mind over and over. So, I got so drunk that I was completely blitzed out of my mind, and I loaded my pistol and held it to my head, but I was too drunk to pull the fucking trigger. And then Mike found me. The bastard wouldn’t let me die… he induced vomiting until I’d puked up most of the alcohol and half my guts.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
Luca nods and performs the sign of the cross quickly. “I do, every day for that man. My father wasn’t a bad man, but he was a terrible father. The only reason I’m half-decent is because of Mike. I owe him so much, and a tattoo seems like a total cop out, but he really has watched over me since I was a little kid like a spirit guide. He may not have been born in la famiglia, but he’s as Barresi as I am.”
Luca leans back down over me, trailing kisses from my shoulder, to my collarbone, and up my neck. He murmurs softly, “I could name a hundred things I regret in this life and a hundred reasons why I hate who I’ve become… but without the darkness, without the heartache, I never would have recognized when life was giving its greatest gift to me…”
I turn my head so that I can nuzzle his neck as I whisper, “What’s that?”
Luca kisses my lips without an answer, slowly moving between my legs as I realize that he’s fully erect again, but this time, his body is moving slowly and unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. There’s passion in his movements as his lips claim mine. He pulls back, hovering over me as he stares down with a look of absolution on his face. He continues to make love to me as he grabs each of my hands in one of his and pushes our arms up above my head. He shivers as his body tenses, then her murmurs against my lips, “You…”
TWENTY-TWO
I swipe at my eyes with the back of my hand, but it does little good as the hot tears spill over onto my cheeks anyway. With my grandmother’s hand
written directions, Luca and I have located the historic cemetery where my mother’s gravestone rests. I know that she isn’t buried here. The monument that I’ve never seen was erected by my grandmother as a place to mourn and remember my mother. Her body was cremated shortly after her death and scattered into the wind over Hilo Bay, just like she wanted. It was the final request she made of me and I was the one to turn her ashes over to the wind.
But seeing a beautiful marble headstone with my mother’s name etched into its surface is staggering. Even more heart wrenching is the date of death stacked beneath her date of birth, nearly thirty years between them. It’s a reminder that even though she died, she also lived.
I kneel down beside the simple marker and rest my left hand on the ground as I glance at the matching marker erected beside hers. Whereas I would expect it to be blank except for a name, it’s not. My father’s name, his real name along with his date of birth and the date my entire life crumbled when he was murdered are etched into the marble. Apparently I’m not the only one who thought we’d someday make it back to the islands. Even though my father stole away in the middle of the night with me, my grandmother still paid homage to him upon his death and ensured that he and my mother had matching markers.
This realization brings fresh tears to my eyes as I lean over the marker, resting my forehead against the cool marble. I whisper softly as the breeze blows around me, kicking up leaves that flutter to the ground as the wind changes direction, “Aloha mama…”
All around me, the world falls silent as even the birds stop chittering. I sit back on my heels, closing my eyes as I lean my head back and let the morning sun warm my face and begin to dry my freely flowing tears. “I found happiness mama, just like you wanted me to. I had to find a lot of heartache first, but I did find it… and him. I wish you could have met him. From what I hear, he’s a lot like dad… if dad’s demons hadn’t caught up to him in the Sin City of the South.
“I wanted to stay, mama. I wanted to stay with Lee Lee and Tua, and Puna...and you… but fate had other plans. Fate took me to New Orleans where I fell in love with the heir of the very man dad tried to escape. I guess life has a funny way or working itself out, but I wouldn’t change it… even if I could... love him, mama. If anybody understands, it’s you. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband. And despite anyone else’s opinions, I love him, mama...”
I shudder as Luca kneels down behind me, grabbing my shoulders gently and pulling me back against him. I go limp like a rag doll as I turn in his arms and fling myself against his strong body. He holds me tightly against himself as he murmurs, “Te amo, Emily…”
I awake with a start to find Luca peering down at me, concern on his face. He brushes my hair out of my face, then cups my cheek in his hand. “Te amo, Emily… but it’s time. We’ll be landing soon, and our carefree vacation will be over. We’ll be back in the Crescent City, and I’ll be expected back on the throne of sin.”
I smile softly as I lean my face into his hand. “And I will be at your side.”
Something flashes across Luca’s face, and I’m not sure exactly what emotion it was. Luca holds me tightly as we touch down on the runway, but he’s up out of his seat almost before the flight attendant announces over the intercom that it’s time to deplane. Somebody is anxious to get back to work, it seems. As we walk through the gate and into the terminal, I almost double over in laughter when I see Dante standing there with a piece of poster board that reads, “World’s Biggest Jerk and My Best Friend.”
I nudge Luca with a smile, “Look, he’s been expecting us.”
Luca rolls his eyes as I break free of him and trot across the terminal and throw my arms around Dante. He laughs and picks me up into a tight hug, swinging me around quickly before setting me back down on my feet. “It’s about time the two of you came back. We thought y’all’d done gone AWOL and decided to live the island life.”
Luca shrugs, but his expression is serious as he deadpans. “Don’t think the thought didn’t cross my mind. I can definitely see the appeal, and the serenity and beauty of the islands answers a lot of those hypothetical questions we’ve been asking about how some people could abandon their oath of Omerta and leave.”
Dante’s face darkens, and he swipes his hand back and forth in front of his neck as if signifying that we shouldn’t be discussing la famiglia.
Luca catches the guarded expression on Dante’s face and immediately, his posture shifts from the relaxed and laid back honeymooner to a man who’s all business. I frown slightly, because it’s disarming to see his entire demeanor change so quickly, but it’s a reminder that the man I spent the last two weeks with in Hawai’i is not the man I married. The man I married is a dangerous mobster, and I’m expected to be his faithful wife no matter his body count. Which he’s never actually admitted to me, but I know it’s high. Probably higher than I could ever imagine, but that kind of question isn’t exactly pillow talk. Unless he tells me, I’ll remain in the dark.
Dante motions Luca over into a secluded corner, and Mike follows immediately behind as I trudge over, dragging my feet. Luca glances over at me and motions for me to join him, and I probably give him a look like he just told me to bite the head off a scorpion. I shake my head nervously and lean against the wall. I’m not so sure that I’m ready to dive head-first into business affairs.
Dante raises one eyebrow as he glances over at me curiously. He chuckles nervously as he shakes his head. “Damn, what did y’all do in Hawai’i that you’re suddenly so openly trusting?”
Luca shrugs and leans over, snagging my arm and pulling me between him and Dante. He looks at Dante matter-of-factly. “Nothing that wouldn’t be expected on a honeymoon, but it didn’t give us psychic abilities, I assure you. Besides, I assume you’ve informed your wife of what you need to tell me?”
Dante nods slowly. “Some things, yes, but she’s involved in la famiglia’s response because of her father. That, and she truly knew what she was getting herself into when she married me. I have no secrets from Camilla. I’ve known her since we were like five. She knows the kind of man I am and the kind of disappointment she can expect from being my wife.”
Luca nods his head curtly. “I will no longer keep Emily in the dark about the dangerous nature of our job, Dante. Anything you need to tell me, you can say in front of her.”
Dante looks uncomfortable as he reaches into his pocket and produces a Ziploc baggie that he pushes into Luca’s hands. “For the record, Camilla has not seen these, though her father’s aware of them. Three more girls connected to Piacere in some way have been found murdered. We have reason to believe they’re connected to Parker in some way. There’s no Queens in the bunch, so we’re not sure if it’s a copycat or someone working for Parker, but Parker is due to be transported up to Angola in the next week and some of the men, and Chief Rossi, believe it’s a last-ditch effort to retain control of his tract of New Orleans. Once Parker leaves the city, his influence will diminish. His men are still disorganized, half of them are in jail, and those that aren’t… well, let’s just say that Parker likes snitches and runaways about as much our father did.”
Luca tugs me against his side, blowing out a breath. “Can’t a man take a vacation without his sworn mortal enemy taking a hit off the crazy pipe? Noemi, Camilla, and Emily all may be targets of Parker’s in an attempt to try to bring us to our knees. He thinks I’m weak because I indulge my emotions, but I’ve learned the hard way that love, real love, like the kind that guts you when you can’t be near the person, it fortifies the soul in a way nothing else on Earth can. I just hope you come to love your wife like I’ve come to love mine.
“I’ve tried so desperately to protect Emilyl in the past, and all it did was get her kidnapped because she had an uninformed, protected view of the atrocities of the underground. I won’t pull the wool over her eyes any longer. Our women are our greatest assets, and we have to protect them at all costs. Had Emily been better informed, she never would�
�ve trusted Marco.”
Dante’s glance flashes to Mike behind us, and a look of sympathy crosses his face. I glance over my shoulder at Mike, but Mike shakes his head. “I don’t need your sympathy, Dante. He had everyone fooled, including your father. There’s no way he became a double-agent in a couple months’ time. He was talking out of both sides of his mouth long before your father’s death.”
Mike flashes his own look of sympathy at Dante, who flinches slightly. I clear my throat loudly to insert myself into the uncomfortable silence as the men stare at each other. All three turn their gaze on me as I grab Dante’s hand. He narrows his eyes at me, and I chuckle as my fingertips brush over his wedding ring. “It’s still weird to think that you’re married Dante!”
Dante snorts slightly as he gives me a look like I’ve got three heads. But the relief on his face is palpable. “Pot, meet kettle… it seems our family has a knack for secretly getting married and not telling anybody.”
I laugh softly until Luca and Dante glance at each other suddenly. “Oh, fuck no. I have given Kyle enough chances. If he marries our sister in secret, I will fucking kill him.”
