“So, what’s the plan?” Chris asked, still tapping away at her phone.
“My sister brought me to this cool bar when we came up here before. We can go there after a few drinks,” Tracy said.
“And after pizza!” I insisted.
Tracy rolled her eyes. “Yes, that too.”
An hour later, we had the TV on, and our systems had been thoroughly lubricated. Except, the pizza hadn’t arrived yet. I lay back on the bed and moaned, “Chris…where’s the—”
I was interrupted by her phone ringing. “Speaking of the devil,” she said before winking and walking into the hallway.
“How hard is it to deliver pizza?” I asked.
“Maybe hotels confuse them,” Tracy answered.
I could hear Chris elevating her voice in the hallway. Hunger did that to her. I heard something about “arriving before we go out.”
I hoped I didn’t have to choose between pizza and the bar. Chris walked back into the room. “Yeah, they totally got lost. I told them never mind. Let’s get something on the way to the bar.” She tapped on her phone and shoved it into her pocket.
“Yes, let’s. I’m starving.”
Another trip down the elevator, and we were on our way to find food before the bar.
“How about this one?” Tracy said, pointing toward a random restaurant.
“Uh, sure.” I didn’t really care. My rumbling stomach wanted something now.
“No, no—look at the inside. It’s grimy. Let’s try the next place,” Chris said.
“Okay, well, let’s hurry, then.” My legs took me down the sidewalk and stopped, waiting for my friends to catch up. “Here? You can’t go wrong with McDonald’s…”
“Looks good to me,” Tracy said. Chris nodded.
We went inside and ordered. We sat down and waited for them to call out our number.
“Burgers sound better than pizza now, anyway,” Tracy said.
“I just want to eat.” I shrugged and gave a small chuckle.
Suddenly a voice shouted, “One hundred eighty-six!” I hopped up, grabbing our tray and hurried back to the table. In five short minutes we were all finished. “Club time?” I asked.
“You’re eager,” Tracy said, just barely finishing her fries.
“I’ve got to keep busy,” I said.
“Well, if we had turned around the car like I advised…” Chris began.
“Let’s just go! Too much talking and not enough doing. Let’s drink or dance or whatever you do at bars.”
“Says the girl who has been to a bar twice in the past six months,” Tracy huffed, once again rolling her eyes.
“I thought that sounded quite like her,” Chris chimed in. “Inexperienced and naive.”
I ignored her wink and began striding out the door. My friends caught up, and we were on our way.
We finally arrived at the bar, and I made my way through the crowd to get a drink. Chris and Tracy followed, and we fell into conversation.
“Pretty lucky we got seats, huh?” Tracy said.
I nodded, too busy wondering what I would order to drink to give a verbal response.
“Kristen, you’re all wound up. Relax.” Chris kneaded my shoulders a couple of times.
“You’re right. It’s just easy to stay distracted this way,” I said. And it was true. I had only thought about Will a couple of times since we had arrived. Whether it was watching TV at the hotel, pregaming, or trying to find food that satisfied Chris, I had been okay. But, okay in a loose interpretation of the word. My sanity was held together by some string and duct tape. I considered that a win for the moment.
A tap on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. “Excuse me, ladies.” The three of us glanced back toward some guy with spiked hair.
“Yes?” Chris asked. Tracy and I just stared at him.
“Oh, I just noticed you three walk in and…”
“Let me stop you right there,” Chris said. “Sorry, girls night.”
The guy walked away, which was fairly surprising—I didn’t expect him to give up so easily.
“How many more of those are we going to get?” Tracy asked.
“Hopefully none,” Chris answered.
“Oh you guys, don’t you want to feel wanted?” I joked with a small grin, poking Chris in the side.
“Yes, but not by him,” she responded.
Our trio got back to ordering drinks and conversation. We talked about schoolwork and the weather. We discussed Chris’s new boy back home and Tracy’s raise at work. It was a good time, to be honest. But, in the back of my mind, I did hope Will would show up, ice cream truck and all, honking outside the bar. My eyes peeked over my shoulder every so often, hoping every guy approaching us would be him. But, it never was. A few hours later, after we had exhausted our minds and our bodies with dancing and conversation, we left to pass out in our hotel room. It was a little past one a.m.
* * *
“Well, that was fun,” I said, flopping onto my bed still fully dressed.
“Yep!” was all Tracy offered.
“Is anyone else hungry?” Chris asked.
I sat up. “Yes. All that dancing wore me out.”
“Well, I’ll go get us a snack. Any requests?”
“Anything works.” I plopped back down onto the bed.
Chris left, and I asked Tracy, “How are the sleeping arrangements going to work tonight, anyway?”
Tracy gave me a half shrug, her eyes still closed. It looked like she was claiming that side of the bed. Oh, well.
The keycard activated in the door, and I heard Chris sing out, “Guess what I found?!”
I propped myself up on my elbows, hoping it was Will.
She appeared in the doorway with a box. “Doughnuts!”
This might’ve been the only time I was disappointed by doughnuts. Regardless, I jumped to meet her and picked out a glazed one. I might be lonely, but at least I’d be full.
A few doughnuts later, and my stomach was simultaneously thanking and cursing me. I could just imagine all the doughnuts, fries, and alcohol sloshing around inside of me. But hey, at least all the food would absorb any hangover tomorrow (I hoped). I was thoroughly worn out at that point from running around Seattle and trying to process all of my racing thoughts. I lay down next to Tracy and fell asleep, jeans and all.
* * *
“Kristen… Kristen.” I woke up to Chris loudly whispering for me to get up.
“Ugh, what time is it?” I asked.
“It’s like four in the morning,” she answered. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m there for you if you need me.”
I rolled over and looked at her with one squinted eye. “Really? This couldn’t wait till morning? I mean I appreciate it, but girl…” I rubbed my eyes. “And why are the lights on?” I moaned.
Chris laughed quietly. “They aren’t.”
I opened my other eye and saw the light coming from the hallway. There was a figure in the doorway. I bolted up into a sitting position.
“Wait, holy shit, am I dreaming?” I asked Chris. She pinched me, and it hurt. I jumped out of bed and tripped over the covers to run into Will’s arms. I kissed him and snuggled my head into his chest. “You made it.”
.
CHAPTER 18
Will
She ran and kissed me, launching herself into my arms. “You made it,” she said into my shirt.
“I did, I did,” I replied, grinning like a madman. I backed up out of the doorway, and let the door begin to close behind us. I saw Chris give me thumbs-up before it completely shut.
Kristen looked up at me, her eyes glossy. “I thought I was going crazy. Spikey hair…ice cream truck...McDonald’s.” She sniffed.
“Slow down, Kristen,” I said, running my fingers through her hair. “I’m here now. I was so dumb.”
“I know, me too! I hesitated so much before leaving! It’s like the universal key jingle thing, haven’t you seen Hitch?” she asked before hitting my chest with a smile.
“Uh,” I held up my hand. “One, pretty sure it was key fiddling. And two, I already said I was dumb.” I leaned in and kissed her again. Her lips were as soft as I remembered them.
She pulled back. “What took you so long?”
“That…that’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. I’ve got so many more important things to tell you.” I looked her up and down. “And luckily for me, it looks like you’re already dressed. Put your shoes on.” I shooed her back into the room. As soon as the door closed behind her, I let loose my most enthusiastic fist pump—she wanted me here. I had so many things to tell her.
The door opened some time later, and she practically jumped out. I felt an energy surge through me, seeing her as excited as I felt. I grabbed her hand and dragged her down to the elevator.
We left the hotel, and I waved to Daichi sitting in the front seat of the truck, feet kicked up, talking to Erin on his phone. He shot me a thumbs-up and honked the horn before snatching his hand back in embarrassment, having realized it was the middle of the night.
Once we were on the sidewalk and away from the hotel, I opened up and told her everything I should have told her before she’d left.
“I came to Portland because I wasn’t ready to give up on life. I thought I was creating One Year Left, giving myself the chance to have the best last year. But subconsciously, I knew that just meant I wanted to find a purpose, a reason to continue. I found it that first night here.” She opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head. “No, let me get it all out. I’ve been thinking of this the entire ride here. I don’t have it all figured out, and I may never figure it all out. But meeting you and working with Daichi has made me happier than I have been in years. I feel like I can actually do this thing called life.
“I know I haven’t even really opened up to you about this, and that’s on me, but you’ve done more for me than you know. Just by being you. Even if I don’t know what I want for the rest of my life careerwise or hobbywise, I know I want to do it with you. I want to make you quit school and pursue writing.” I paused as I waited at a crosswalk. The city was empty and quiet. It was surreal in the best way.
“Or, if you don’t want to write, I will support you in what you do want to do. Want to be a cam girl? I’ll be cheering you on with the camera in my hands. Silently, of course. Teacher? I’ll get some balloons for you when you finish grading papers. Whatever you want from me, Kristen.
“So, that was part one of what I wanted to tell you,” I said as we walked across the street. When we reached the other side, I caught myself staring at her face.
“Are you going to continue, or can I talk now?” She stood on her toes and gave me a quick kiss.
“Sorry, your face…distracting. Anyway, I know we can make this work.” I pulled her close. “I just need to believe in us. I need to communicate with you, openly and honestly. That night after the forest, I was already mentally preparing myself for failure. But now, I know I need an altered mentality. If I communicate, if I’m open, and you do the same, then my fears, pain, and irrationality can be alleviated. For now, I just can’t be left to wonder about you, about us.” I rubbed her cheek with my thumb. Her skin was soft, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But I needed to hear her response.
She stood there for a moment, staring into the sky before suddenly dragging me to a bench. We sat down before she began. “That all makes sense. That night I told myself I could take the wall down around my heart, but only a bit. I set myself up for failure; we set ourselves up for failure.
“You’re so thoughtful, Will. Kind and sweet, too. So, I’m ready to give you all of me. At least the parts you’d like.” She winked. “I should tell you about my dad...”
So we sat on that bench, and I let her talk. She recounted the times he didn’t come home, and the times he wasn’t there for her or her mother. By the end, I could almost see what had caused her such pain in the past, and I desperately wanted to be the Band-Aid that went over those scars. Would Neosporin be more appropriate? Whichever makes sense, I wanted to be that.
I was shocked to see the sunrise come up over the horizon of the buildings. I didn’t have a tired bone in my body.
“I wonder if they’re worried about us,” I said. Her head was in my lap, and I was playing with her hair.
“Who knows? Let’s go see. I’m hungry,” she said.
We stood up, and I stretched, feeling my muscles groan about sitting for so long. As we turned to make our way back to the hotel, I thought of Liz and Gashley. I thought of Maria and Molly. I no longer felt the desire to ruminate over those broken moments and missed opportunities; I had Kristen now.
.
EPILOGUE
Kristen
I walked into the house upon returning from Seattle, an unwavering grin on my face. Will returned home the day after he surprised me, leaving me to spend the rest of the vacation thinking about him. I had a great time with my friends too, especially knowing I’d have him when I got back.
I closed the door behind me and turned to see his head peeking up from his room down the stairs. Reminiscent of an eager dog, he bounded up the steps, embracing me in a huge hug. I couldn’t blame him for his excitement. After all, I had urged Tracy to skip a few rest stops to speed up our return.
Will pulled away and planted his lips on mine. I could never get tired of the feeling of his lips. He brought his hands up and caressed my face, my body going weak as he pushed me against the wall. His withdrew his lips from mine, only to latch them onto my neck.
“I’m so happy to be home,” I said.
He pulled back. “You have no idea how little I got done waiting for you, Kristen.”
His body released mine, and I leaned my head against his chest. “So glad to have you back,” he said over my head. I imagined him biting his lip after he spoke, leading me to smile more into his chest.
“Go put your stuff away; we can’t stand here all day,” he said.
I stood against him for a brief moment more, taking in his scent and sound of his heartbeat before I let go. I grabbed my bags and ran up the stairs, glancing back over my shoulder the entire way.
Turning the corner, I threw my luggage into my room before I even entered. Prancing in, my bed soon came into view. I hoped I wouldn’t be seeing it much—I liked Will’s much better.
I turned on the light, and my gaze drifted back to my bed. I screeched. It was a spider. Stumbling back into the hallway, I ran into Will and his mirth-filled grin.
“Looks like you’ll have to sleep downstairs with me again. Infestation’s back.” He suddenly picked me up and tossed me onto the bed. I screamed again as I landed on the spider. I scrambled off the bed before realizing it was a toy. I threw it at Will and his obnoxious, yet endearing, smile.
I would have cursed him out if he hadn’t push me back onto the bed, pressing his body’s weight on me. An immediate wave of heat radiated through my body, from my core to my limbs.
Will moved my hair and kissed down my neck, forcing me to close my eyes and melt under his weight. Whispering in my ear he said, “I think it’s time to consummate the relationship.” I felt his lips curl into a grin against my ear.
“I’d like that,” I said, feeling a hardness between my legs. As much as I’d love to have responded with something witty, I was ready to let Will know all of me.
.
EPILOGUE
Will
“Pancakes again?” I moaned with a gigantic smile, the same as I had done the day before.
“I can toss them if you’d rather have your beloved Pop-Tarts,” Kristen said.
“No, no, thank you,” I said. She came to me and stood on her toes, giving me a kiss.
“I love that you’re doing this,” she said.
“I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. Not everyone would have their life line fall into their lap as their roommate.” I hugged her. Today would have been zero days left in my Operation One Year Left. I had started volunteering a few mon
ths ago to pass the time. “I’m gonna find a ‘Will’ and help them out, just like you helped me.” Kristen rolled her eyes. I probably repeated myself at least twice a day, but I was passionate about it.
“I know you will,” she said, pulling away.
“Assuming I get the job!” I wanted to turn volunteering into a career. It was no longer something to do when Kristen was busy.
“All the more reason to eat up, skinny.” She poked my stomach, and I chased her out of the kitchen. I caught her in the living room and grabbed her around the waist. She giggled and yelled for me to put her down. “The pancakes will get cold!”
I threw her onto the couch. “Fine, I’ll eat your damn pancakes.” I threw a grin over my shoulder as I entered the kitchen and sat at the table.
* * *
A week later, I stood at the doorstep of my new job, ready to change some lives. Taking a deep breath, I walked in and was greeted by the smell of paperwork. It was a strangely familiar aroma similar to the rooms filled with boxes of manila folders and stale, dusty air surrounding things written during your grandmother’s childhood. Hopefully I’d come to equate this smell with success. I nodded to the receptionist and entered the main lobby of the building.
A tall, pale lady with a large nose approached me with a nefarious-looking grin, making me wonder what awful things she had planned for me.
“Hello! Welcome!” she said.
“Hi!” I shook her hand, trying to match her enthusiasm.
“Will, right?” she asked. I nodded, still maintaining the plastered smile on my face. “Linda isn’t here today, but you can shadow me. First item of the day—you will be sitting in on an interview training that I’ll be leading…”
“Wonderful,” I replied. I took out my phone and shot Kristen a quick message. I never missed a chance to tell her I loved her. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and walked into the room, glancing at the individuals, wondering which of their lives I could change for the better.
One Year Left Page 10
