The cashier at McGinty’s, a girl she recognized from Hannah’s class, studied her as she rung up her order and chewed a mouthful of watermelon-scented bubblegum.
“You’re Skylar Marcelli, right?”
Unease snaked through her veins. “Yes.”
The girl smiled and leaned closer. “Are you really having an affair with the mayor?”
Her jaw locked. She sliced her credit card through the swiper and punched out the commands to finish the transaction.
“Thanks a lot.” She snatched her bags.
“You forgot your receipt!”
The lump in her throat prevented her from responding.
When she reached her car, her hands were shaking—and not from the cold. Everyone knew her personal business. And she hated—hated—that the cashier girl called it an affair, as if her and Rhett’s relationship was something tawdry or immoral.
They were two consenting adults! If her father hadn’t reacted the way he had, no one would have ever twisted things into some sort of taboo affair!
Rushing inside the car and locking the doors, she tried to catch her breath. This was her first real relationship. It was personal. Private. Her eyes glazed and stung with unshed tears as her privacy once again felt violated.
She was helpless to stop the rumors and exaggerations of the truth, knowing full well people assumed he’d somehow taken advantage of her when no such thing had happened. But people were going to spin her life whatever way made it the juiciest gossip.
She hit her steering wheel and cursed. Her stare turned toward Town Hall and she glared at the building. She wasn’t mad at Rhett. But he hurt her. He left her there, standing alone on the staircase, facing those vultures and her dad.
She considered how many times Rhett must have felt this way. As the mayor, he stood in a constant spotlight. It was no wonder that he liked to keep his private life private. Perhaps she’d been wrong to pry into his secrets.
Tipping her head back, she stared at the roof of her car until a tear slipped past her lashes. She was so confused.
He came off as this protective man and she trusted that sense of security. Had that just been another stupid mistake she could chalk up to her younger age and inexperience? She’d always assumed she’d be safe with Rhett. Maybe that was what hurt most—her misjudgment.
She took about fourteen unnecessary turns to get to the mansion, taking the longest way possible. But, in a town the size of Jasper Falls, there were only so many detours a girl could take.
When she pulled up, she didn’t see his SUV. She did, however, see Erin’s car, which might have been worse.
Reluctantly, she went to the front door and used her key to let herself in. This time, she had the novel experience of being the one to catch Erin off guard.
“Skylar!” Addison yelled and rushed over to give her a hug.
“Hey, cutie! I missed you.” And she truly had. The familiar weight of Addison in her arms and the soft scent of her curls sent her emotions spiking in every which direction, and Skylar had to put her down so she didn’t start crying again.
She pouted and popped two chubby fists on her hips. “Where have you been?”
“I…” She didn’t want to lie to Addison, but this was one of those tricky situations that kids shouldn’t have to understand. “I was helping my grandmother.”
“Miss Maureen?”
“Yes.” She ran a hand over Addison’s hair, finding it matted in the back and knotted. “How come you’re still in your PJs?” Her shirt was stained with something purple and her feet were bare and dirty.
Erin approached, arms crossed over her chest as she observed Skylar with a cold stare. “You know, you shouldn’t just let yourself into someone else’s home, especially now that you no longer work here.”
Skylar narrowed her eyes. She’d never know for sure, but she was almost certain Erin had been the one to delete the message from her professor. When she looked back, it arrived on the same day the PA showed her the toy Addison wanted online.
“I just came to get my stuff.”
“You’re leaving?” Addison gasped. “No, I want you to stay!”
She crouched down and looked her in the eye. “Just for a little while. After the holidays I’ll come back for a visit.”
Addison’s brown eyes magnified under a wall of tears and she flung her arms around Skylar’s shoulders, squeezing tight. “I don’t want you to go.”
In that moment, she considered that her heart may be able to survive men, but she wasn’t sure she could survive this. Blinking back tears, she hugged Addison’s little body, then forced herself to let go.
“Is your daddy around?”
Addison shook her head. “He won’t be back for a few days.”
Confused by her answer, she frowned. “Where is he?”
“Go get a soda, Addison.”
Skylar met Erin’s icy stare and the woman practically sneered as Addison disappeared toward the kitchen. “You didn’t honestly believe you were the only woman in his life, did you?”
Skylar wasn’t going to be bated or play her games. “Where is he?”
“That’s private information. All I can say is that he isn’t here.”
“Not with me,” Skylar stated, helpfully pointing out what Erin so eagerly wanted to make clear. Then she cocked her head with unmistakable pity and said, “And not with you.”
Erin drew back with a quick show of artificial confusion and scoffed. But she didn’t deny Skylar’s accusation and all it implied.
She was done letting this woman make her feel bad. “As a matter of fact, Erin, he’s never been with you or taken any interest in you on a personal level whatsoever. You’re just someone on his payroll. And no matter how much you try to abuse me or make me believe I’m unwanted, it won’t make a difference, because he tells me I am. When he holds me and stares into my eyes, he whispers things you can only dream of him saying to you. So, I’m not going to let your insecure, passive aggressive comments bother me anymore. As a matter of fact, I’m not even going to think about you. And when I have the unfortunate displeasure of seeing you, the only thing I’ll feel is pity. And that’s more than you deserve, because you’ve spent your life bullying others and showing everyone you’re just a mean, bitter woman.”
Her face darkened and she snarled, “Get out of this house before I call the police and have you removed!”
“I’m not leaving without my things.”
She withdrew her phone from her pocket with a shaky hand. “I’m calling the cops.”
The kitchen door opened and Addison appeared, soda spilled down her front and soaking her pajama top. “I spilled.”
Erin snapped. “Goddamn it! I told you not to shake the cans!” The woman marched angrily toward Addison, and Skylar bolted ahead of her, blocking her path.
“Just who do you think you’re talking to?” Skylar’s entire presence seemed to swell to the size of a momma bear, claws extended and ready to protect her cub. “You don’t speak to children like that. And if you were watching her, she wouldn’t have had an accident.”
“Get out of this house! You’re fired!”
“Back off!” Skylar jutted her body forward, causing the woman to stagger back.
Erin looked unstable and ready to strike Addison—or her.
Skylar’s jaw hardened and she scowled right into the other woman’s eyes. “You can’t fire me. And there’s no need for the cops. I’ll leave. But I’m taking Addison with me. When Rhett comes back, tell him he can find us at my grandparents’ house on the mountain.”
“You can’t take her! I’m calling the police.”
“Go ahead. Let them get involved. The first call they make will be to her father, and whose side do you think he’ll take?”
Forgetting her personal belongings upstairs, Skylar hoisted Addison onto her hip and grabbed her coat off the hook in the foyer. As she opened the door, she turned back and said, “And if I were you, I’d start looking for a new
job.”
“You can’t fire me,” Erin snapped, throwing her words back at her.
Skylar looked at her with absolute pity. “I won’t have to.” She shut the door.
21
Rhett signed the last of the paperwork and listened to the familiar spiel about the care Adel would be given and the programs she’d endure. He’d been on this ride several times before. It would work for a while, but eventually, she’d be on her own again.
Like before, she’d pick up new friends from rehab, friends with similar problems and familiar demons. They’d keep each other strong for a while but, soon, those old habits would return.
She’d either find the strength to cut ties, stick to the meds and behavioral therapy the doctor recommended, or she’d go down with the rest of them. But only she could decide her future.
It didn’t matter how many friends Adel watched die or how many times she brushed shoulders with death herself. She’d sell her body, her dignity, and her soul to the devil himself, if she wanted to get high bad enough.
And the heartbreaking truth of who she’d become would be inescapable when she came back to herself again, sick with regret, hysterical and suicidal. That’s how she sounded when she called him, begging for Rhett to come save her and put her somewhere safe.
He’d spent years trying to do right by her. Not because he loved her. He never had. But because she was Addison’s mother and, despite not knowing her, one day Addison may want to meet the woman who gave birth to her.
He’d do everything he could to keep her alive until then, but sometimes survival was ugly, especially when a person’s demons overtook a life so completely it hardly resembled living anymore. He wished he could kill the beast that haunted her, but as with his mother, he was as powerless against her addictions as she was. Addiction distorted love, twisting it into something unrecognizable and broken.
If he could get her help, and if she stuck with a program, she might actually have a fighting chance. The bipolar disorder was manageable, but only when she was clean because only then did she love herself enough to do the work.
He didn’t have much faith that this time would end any differently than the last. Erin told him to stop bailing her out of trouble. She swore that was the only way people like Adel would learn. But Adel was Addison’s mother and he couldn’t give up on her.
Adel wasn’t like his mother. In rare moments of clearheaded sobriety, she asked about Addison and thanked him for taking care of their daughter. Beyond her gratitude hid a world of remorse. Adel wanted to be a decent mom, but she continuously fell short. She’d once told him the best thing she did for their child was give him sole custody.
Adel asked about Addison, where his mother only ever acknowledged him with cold indifference. He thought of Skylar and how good she was with children, how selfless and considerate she could be of others. So often, people who grew up in nurturing homes forgot that love and affection were not always a given. Skylar didn’t realize the gifts she had, or how lucky he considered himself and Addy that they were able to reap her endless affection for a short time.
But was it endless? Everyone had a limit and he feared he might have pushed Skylar to hers.
“Your card will get billed on the third of each month. After her three-month-stay is complete, your deposit gets refunded, as long as there are no damages.”
Rhett took the folder the woman offered. It looked like all the rest. “And she can’t sign herself out?”
“Not without your knowledge.”
“Thank you.”
Thoughts of his childhood and Addison’s preoccupied his mind the whole ride home. Every time he considered his daughter’s future and Adel’s role in her life, he was comforted by the idea that Skylar would be there to help with the things Addison might need a woman’s assistance with.
Then he wondered if that was true. What if Skylar didn’t come back? His first thought should be about Addison’s care, which it usually was. But, this time, his worries were more selfish. What if he lost Skylar?
An ache formed in his chest and he rubbed it as he drove. He didn’t like imagining a future without her.
Not bothering with the radio or paying attention to the exit signs, he drove on autopilot and somehow made it back to his house late that night. The house was dark and quiet when he let himself inside. Since Skylar left, it hadn’t felt much like a home, just a house made up of walls and furniture.
“Erin?” He set his keys on the table by the door. “Addy?”
The living room was clean, not a single thing out of order. Something didn’t feel right.
He went upstairs only to find Addy’s bed empty. “Erin? Hello?”
He pulled out his phone and called his PA, his stare falling on the door at the end of the hall, despising that no light shined from within.
“Hello?”
Shoving away his longing for the girl he’d become so accustomed to, he focused on locating his daughter. “Erin, where are you guys?”
“I’m home.”
He frowned. “Where’s Addison?”
She hesitated and the tension in his shoulders tightened. “Addison’s with Skylar. She picked her up this morning.”
His worry subsided, overrun by something unnamable. Hope? Fear? No, not fear. He trusted Skylar. But what did this mean?
“Where are they?”
“At the big house on the mountain. Her grandparents’.”
“Thanks.” He ended the call.
Ten minutes later, he was navigating the dark roads of what was known as McCullough Mountain and trying to find what her family called the big house. The place was literally like a compound with various homes tucked on cleared acres, secreted away and ensconced in the wilderness, blending beautifully with the wide-open mountainside.
None of the homes tucked in the slopes of rock and pine were what he would consider small. When he approached the sprawling log cabin with its wrap around porch and pointed dormer windows, he knew he’d found the place he was looking for.
He pulled the SUV beside an old Jeep Cherokee, and the front door of the house opened. Skylar stepped out, wrapped in a fleece blanket, and waited at the top step of the porch. She must have been expecting him.
He exited the car and approached slowly, fighting the urge to take her in his arms and apologize for the way he handled things. They needed to discuss everything that happened, but he wasn’t sure if now was the time.
He paused at the foot of the steps. “Erin told me you were here.”
She nodded. “Addison’s sleeping. I don’t mind keeping her until morning.”
He read the exhaustion in her eyes. Somehow, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever known.
She shivered and he wanted to wrap her in his hold and kiss her until her body warmed. The distance weighed him down like an anvil anchored to his neck. It was all he could feel, but he didn’t want to pressure her.
She was here because she obviously wanted space and needed time. He wanted to give her that, especially if it would help fix things. But she had to know this was killing him.
“She misses you,” he said, wanting to convince her to come home.
“Don’t.”
His eyes pleaded with her, confessing what he lacked the courage to say. I miss you…
Casting her gaze aside, she looked so sad, and he understood the repercussions of the other night had outlasted the party for her. He regretted that any sort of public criticism might have reached her.
“I’m sorry this happened, Skylar.”
“Which part?”
Unsure where they stood or if she was through with him, he hesitated. Did she regret everything?
He’d felt this terrible doubt before, usually the day before he returned to that brown building where he waited inside the plain brown walls for someone new to come collect the unwanted boy. He would never go back to that place, but tonight it felt like he might.
He didn’t want her rejection. He needed her a
cceptance. What if he had spoiled everything?
“I never meant to put our relationship on display. You have to realize that.”
“I didn’t realize I was a secret.”
“You weren’t.”
He wasn’t ashamed of her. How could he be? They were still in the beginning stages. His need for privacy had been the result of simply wanting her all to himself and wanting to protect her from gossip, as well as protect Addison from jumping to conclusions.
Aside from sheltering Addison, they’d obviously failed in all other areas. He hadn’t protected her. “The gossip will fade and your dad will come around.”
“They’re calling it an affair like you’re married or something, like we did something dirty and wrong.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know. But to hear them sum it up that way… It takes something personal and strips away all the emotion, leaving nothing but a sexual act.” Her voice cut off as if she wanted to say more but decided not to.
He wanted to shake her and convince her what they shared was more than just sex. If only she knew all the ways he…
He swallowed hard, trespassing into uncharted territory. The fear of losing her was so strong, he gave up trying to play it cool. He knew he should give her time, but he couldn’t bear the thought of her rejection, he couldn’t stomach the fear that she might never come back.
“Come home.” The words spilled out in an honest plea, and he winced at the desperation in his voice. So much for not pressuring her. “You belong there, with us, with me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t come home with you, Rhett.”
“Why?”
“Because I need time to figure things out.”
“How much time?” This was torture. It was worse than waiting for new parents to take him, worse than fearing none would show up. He wanted her, but what if she didn’t want him?
“I don’t know. I just need time.”
He scowled at the muddy ground. “I hate this.”
“Do you think I’m enjoying it?”
There had to be a way to move this along. She belonged with him. He had to make her see that. “Have you heard from your father? Has he said anything to you?”
Pining For You: Jasper Falls Page 21
