How to Bake a New Beginning

by Lucy Knott

  Sabrina was trying to comprehend everything that Levi was telling her. She was pleased that her spots had gone down so well but she couldn’t believe the nerve of Lydia. She ran a hand through her hair and tugged at her bottom lip, thinking.

  ‘Wow,’ she exclaimed allowing Levi to pause for breath. He seemed flustered, trying to get everything off his chest. He had stopped pacing now too and stood in front of her.

  ‘We turned up on Tuesday morning and she had us at some sort of photo shoot for boxer briefs, some designer brand or something I don’t know – well you know Dan wasn’t going to have that. Everything you set up she basically changed. No more gigs just photo opps and fragrance commercials. She kept telling us that if we thought album one was a hit then we were out of our minds and that if we listened to her, album two would be bigger than our little minds could dream of.’ He shuddered. ‘So …’ he paused causing Sabrina to feel queasy ‘… so, so we walked,’ Levi finished, shrugging his shoulders while putting one hand through his windswept hair.

  ‘You what?’ Sabrina said, her jaw dropping in shock. Her brain felt scrambled as she struggled to comprehend just how little Lydia had really thought of her. How could she possibly have thought for even a second that she would make her proud through hard work and all that she was doing with San Francisco Beat. She would obviously never be good enough in Lydia’s eyes, especially if Lydia was always going to treat her as competition instead of an equal and try and screw with every band that worked under Sabrina’s management. The thought that the boys had stuck up for her clawed at the tiny thread of confidence that she had left.

  ‘We walked. James told her how we felt, and we left,’ Levi said, squatting down to make eye contact with her.

  ‘That’s why you could be here,’ Sabrina said, putting two and two together.

  ‘Well, it made things easier, but we were always going to come. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t want you to worry about us missing dates or to tell you and then have something come up, though that wouldn’t have mattered. I wanted to be here, Brina, and like I said Dan has been a mess not hearing from Amanda as much lately. He couldn’t get here quick enough. You should have seen the look he gave Lydia as we left.’ He smirked ever so slightly at the memory.

  ‘So, there was no big celebrity fight or drama that’s caused her to fire me?’ Sabrina asked, feeling slightly ashamed that she had thought that of her boys.

  ‘Not to my knowledge,’ he said, with a shake of his head. ‘And look, I’m sorry for acting like your job doesn’t mean anything. I know how hard you’ve worked. I didn’t mean it like that but the thought of you working for someone like that when you are so talented, well it just gets on my nerves,’ he added, suddenly finding the rug on the floor fascinating.

  ‘So, let me get this straight. She fired me because you wouldn’t strip for her and she’s jealous I get to work with you?’ Sabrina said, catching Levi’s eye, a flicker of playfulness back in her gaze.

  ‘Well, I guess, if you put it like that, yeah.’ He half chuckled and shook his head, embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry that she fired you. I will help you sort it out.’

  Sabrina looked at Levi. She couldn’t help but feel he was being honest with her as that had to be the first time she had ever seen him get embarrassed. Then her breath caught as she remembered seeing him in Lydia’s office that night before she left.

  ‘I saw you,’ she whispered, now too finding the rug incredibly interesting.

  ‘Saw me where?’ Levi asked, his eyes narrowed, and his brows creased in confusion.

  ‘With her, in her office, before I left for the UK,’ Sabrina stammered. She closed her eyes. Was she really about to tell him how she felt? This had gone way past professional.

  ‘Oh, God, Brina,’ Levi said. He placed his head in his hands. He looked ashamed. ‘Brina, that was nothing. I didn’t know you were there. I’m so sorry. But trust me, I was an idiot. It was my fault.’

  ‘Do you like her?’ Sabrina couldn’t help but ask. Her eyes found their way back to his. This would tell her everything. She needed to look at him, to know if her feelings would mean anything or she had missed the boat with Levi. After all this time, had he moved on?

  ‘After everything I’ve just said you think I like her? Of course I don’t like her. She’s horrible and the way she has treated you is appalling.’ He stood for a moment and stretched out his legs before kneeling down in front of her and continuing, ‘She sent an email calling for an urgent band meeting or something, said it was important, something about the new album. I was out so didn’t get chance to clear it with the boys. Being the fool that I am, I didn’t think to text. I thought I’d meet them there on the way home, then I turned up to find no one else there but her. I’m sorry. I didn’t see your light on.’

  ‘Did anything happen? Not that it’s any of my business anyway,’ Sabrina said, getting lost in his soft brown eyes and simultaneously trying to stay focused. She wasn’t in the clear yet; she had no idea if Levi liked her the way she still liked him.

  ‘No, nothing happened. She tried it on with me – it was pretty creepy. I told her no a few times and made it clear that nothing like that would ever happen between me and her and I left.’ Levi’s eyes stayed with Sabrina’s and his lips curled into a grin. ‘What do you mean it’s none of your business?’ he said with a nudge. ‘Do you want to try saying that without pouting? It would make it a tad more believable.’

  ‘You can sleep with whoever you want, I don’t care,’ Sabrina replied, though her smile didn’t reach all the way to her eyes and she was still very much pouting.

  ‘I think I’ve been making it pretty clear over the past few years who I’d like to sleep with and I have to say that she’s been a pretty good flirt too; though, I don’t know if she knows that? I thought I had read her correctly. And, when we kissed, I wanted her more than anything and not just the sleeping with her part. I thought we could have thrown dates in there too.’ The way he scrunched up his nose and his eyes twinkled as he said this caused Sabrina’s insides to somersault.

  She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath. With Levi’s words she let out a sigh of relief, but it caught again just as quickly as she released it. It was her fault that those dates hadn’t happened. She had to face her fears and be honest with him, like he was being with her.

  ‘I know. Oh gosh, I know, Levi and I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I didn’t want to push you away, I wanted you too, but oh…’ She pushed a hand through her hair and broke eye contact. Levi took her shaking hands in his. ‘I shouldn’t have listened to her. Lydia threatened my job. She said you needed to date models and celebrities. And I didn’t want to come across unprofessional, so I pushed you away. I wasted time. I’m good at my job, I could still be professional, but I didn’t want to harm the band or do anything to hinder your success.’ When she finally looked up at him, Levi was smiling at her.

  ‘Babe, you are amazing at your job and while I admire your dedication to the success of my band, who I date has nothing to do with Lydia. And from the moment I walked into your office I had a feeling work and pleasure would mix rather nicely.’ He cleared his throat and gave her a small wink. Then his eyes fell serious. ‘But I am sorry too. I didn’t chase you. I didn’t tell you how I felt. I admit to getting a little caught up in this fame game and the attention and I just settled with our flirting, unsure what you wanted, instead of asking you.’ He squeezed her hands.

  Sabrina felt the tension in her shoulders ease. There was a comfort in knowing they had both made the same mistake, and a relief in finally knowing he felt the same way. She smiled. This time it reached her eyes. She didn’t want Levi to feel bad. They had wasted too much time already. She was just glad they were now on the same page.

  ‘I have not been flirting with you, Levi. I am a professional and it was my job to take care of the talent. I was only being nice.’ Sabrina’s heart was beating with a flurry. She had missed her banter with Levi. She wanted to g
et back to that.

  ‘Taking care of the talent, huh? Well what was that kiss all about? What would you call that?’ He was back to being his charming, cocky self and it made Sabrina feel like a hopeless romantic. It felt out-of-this-world good.

  ‘Taking really good care of the talent.’ She laughed, and Levi wiggled his eyebrows at her. ‘Oi, the Virgin Mary will have something to say about your naughty thoughts – stop it,’ she added, laughing and pointing at the living-room décor. He laughed with her and sat himself on the couch next to her, facing her.

  ‘I’m sorry that I cost you your job and caused you to worry. The past few days have been rather hectic. I haven’t wanted to be away from you but with Dan distracted I’ve had a lot of work to do. And, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner, but are we good now?’ he asked, his eyes wide, pleading.

  Sabrina laughed. ‘So, this is what I get for finding a band with a hot and irresistible drummer? I’d hate to think of what she would have done to me had I brought in Niall Horan. Yes, we are good,’ she said with a nod.

  Not showing a care in the world at being listed as second best to Niall Horan, Levi – with all his confidence and charm – cupped Sabrina’s face and kissed her like he had been waiting to do for the past two years.

  As soon as Levi’s familiar lips touched hers, Sabrina felt at home. She kicked herself for having run away from this for so long. How silly she was, she thought. She would not make the same mistake twice. She kissed him back, matching his need and urgency. After a few moments and feeling suddenly bold, she pulled away, her lips tingling from his touch.

  ‘Without meaning to sound too forward, would you like to stay for Christmas?’ she whispered, his face mere inches from hers.

  ‘I would love to,’ he whispered back, then leant in to kiss her again.

  After a few minutes, Sabrina pulled away, breathless once more. ‘Are you sure? Will your family be OK with it? Italy isn’t exactly like LA or San Francisco. It’s a lot quieter and …’ Levi placed a finger on her lips.

  ‘My mom has the whole family with her this Christmas – my brother and his kids, my grandparents – she won’t be on her own. I could do with quiet, no paparazzi coming down my chimney pretending to be Santa. And most of all, yes, I am sure. I want to be with you.’

  In that moment Sabrina felt eternally grateful for the magic of Italy and the amore that it unleashed.

  Chapter 15

  Nanna’s Zeppole

  Ingredients:

  Yeast (Need to double-check with Nanna how much yeast)

  Flour (I’m sure it’s about 6 tablespoons)

  Sugar (How sweet does it need to be, Nanna?)

  1 egg

  Pinch of salt

  Orange and lemon zest (Only Italian lemons and oranges)

  Powdered sugar (Use the millions of packets you have in the cupboard from all the pandoro cakes – it’s amazing)

  What to do:

  Dissolve the yeast in warm water, add three tablespoons of flour and leave in warm oven to rise overnight with a cloth over bowl.

  Add egg, sugar, salt and 2 tablespoons of flour and mix.

  Keep adding flour until you have a dough.

  Make into ring shapes and fry until golden brown. Dust with powdered sugar and the orange and lemon zest.

  The air smelt rich and thick as the aroma of roasted vegetables wafted through the kitchen. It was getting rather stuffy as Amanda weaved back and forth around Zia Sofia as they prepared the dinner.

  ‘Isn’t she beautiful?’ Zia Sofia asked Dan as she waved her right arm in the direction of Amanda, while at the same time roasting peppers over the stovetop with her left. Her Italian accent was thick and strong.

  ‘And she cooks,’ Dan replied smiling shyly at Zia Sofia, who immediately burst out laughing and started pinching his cheeks with her pepper-free hand.

  ‘You are a very smart man. You are lucky to have such a beautiful girl, who can cook too,’ she said in a mix of Italian and English while tapping him on the head and still laughing.

  ‘Be careful with that pepper, Zia – come here,’ Amanda said trying to ignore her auntie pawning her off to Dan. She walked over to her and prised the now very crisp pepper from her hand. ‘Sit down and I will finish the rest,’ she said and then turned to Dan. ‘You don’t even know what she said,’ she whispered.

  ‘I’m pretty certain it had something to do with your beauty,’ he replied, with a wink. Dan, ever the charmer. Amanda had been helping Zia Sofia in the kitchen all morning. They were preparing the roasted peppers for the risotto they were making for dinner. She and Dan had gone to pick them up from the fresh market, just a stone’s throw away from the house, just this morning as the sun came up.

  Amanda loved showing Dan round Orzoro and telling him stories from when she was a child. He’d probably heard them all before, but he listened intently all the same. The weather had been getting cooler. Snow flurries came and went but she was happy being outdoors, breathing in the salty air and getting lost in the Christmas lights that hung from the streetlamps and houses.

  She would never get tried of the mesmerizing view of the water. Time stood still on the Amalfi Coast. One look at the water and hours could pass by without you ever realizing it. There were so many views in the world but none could hold a candle to this coastline.

  ‘She’s taking over my job now. She’s better than the teacher,’ Zia Sofia said with a chuckle as she sat down at the kitchen table opposite Dan. Amanda felt a tug at her heartstrings as she watched her. Like her nanna, her zia was short with soft grey curly hair that came to her shoulders. She was strong and had so much gumption. She could do everything by herself, but she was ageing. She couldn’t be on her feet for too long, though she tried when she had company, always up, cooking this and that; but Amanda could see the pained expression as she bent to sit down. She admired her and loved her so.

  ‘I doubt that very much, Zia. I try, but your food – there is no comparison anywhere in the world,’ Amanda informed her, opting to speak Italian to make it easier for her auntie to relax.

  ‘Ahh, sweetheart, it makes me so proud. One day you will have your own restaurant, you’ll see.’

  Amanda walked over to her auntie and gave her a big hug. ‘Thank you, Zia. Maybe one day. Then you can come to England and make sure it’s up to standard,’ she said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Amanda caught Dan looking at her. She smiled. He had told her on numerous occasions that she should have her own place. They often got carried away discussing what it would look like, what she would make. Together with Dan’s added enthusiasm, she had envisioned this magical place of her own and spent many a day daydreaming about it one day becoming a reality.

  She would import everything from Italy and serve nothing but fresh Italian cuisine right from her grandparents’ cookbook. It wouldn’t be fancy; it would be simple and made with pure love. Catching Dan’s eye again as she stood, his bright smile and understanding of her when she spoke Italian caused a flutter of butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

  She sharply turned her back. Dan didn’t make her nervous. Dan did not give her butterflies like this. What was wrong with her? She haphazardly diced the tomatoes. She was aware that her feelings for Dan were getting stronger, but she couldn’t deal with the frenzy of fluttering in her stomach. Wiping beads of sweat from her forehead she wondered if she was she getting sick. Maybe that was the reason for the sudden knot in her stomach. Her emotions had been a mess lately and she had been stressing out more than ever about work and her struggling, somewhat non-existent blog, but she didn’t want to get sick. She absolutely could not get sick before Christmas – there was so much to do.

  ***

  The risotto was a hit. Everyone had had seconds and thirds and was now enjoying relaxing at the table, talking about their days, nibbling at the breadsticks and taralli that were scattered over the table. Amanda sat back feeling proud. She looked over at her nann
a and despite everything she had been through lately, Amanda was thrilled to see her face filled with joy, engaged in conversation with her sisters. The laughter lines around her eyes were more prominent. She imagined coming to terms with Grandpa’s passing was made just a little easier by having her sisters by her side. Sisters she had missed for twenty years. They were making up for lost time, that’s for sure, shouting over one another, holding hands and giggling like teenagers. It was a pleasure to watch.

  Levi and Sabrina were looking rather cosy at the other end of the table. You could clearly see their attraction towards each other. Amanda hadn’t had chance to speak with her sister to see if she had cleared the air with Levi, but by the looks of things, she must have. Everything certainly looked to be OK as they huddled in close together, Levi whispering into her ear in between giving her pecks on the cheek.

  She knew they had both liked each other forever. Dan had mentioned there being an attraction there from the moment they met, but Dan, himself, had warned Levi to concentrate on his work and not meddle with his best friend’s sister. Dan had assured Amanda that he would kill Levi if he hurt Sabrina. Amanda was grateful for Dan being protective, although she would probably get to Levi first if he ever broke Sabrina’s heart.

  Watching Levi’s face, she knew it was genuine. All his focus was on Sabrina as he playfully stroked her hair. Amanda had never seen him so relaxed. Amanda cared for him, like he was an older brother. He had always been good to her. They got on like a house on fire and she couldn’t imagine Dan being friends with someone who wasn’t trustworthy or loyal. She was happy for her sister and proud of her too for going after what she wanted and putting her feelings on the table.