A Trusting Heart

by Shannon Guymon

  Megan laughed, flopping tiredly down on her couch as she smiled up at Trevor who was now standing over her with his hands resting on his hips. Why was it he always reminded her of an eighth grader?

  “I just think life can be so funny sometimes. Take your mom, for instance. I think it’s so sweet that the matchmaker is the one who got matched up. Did you notice how she insisted on taking the girls home? I think she wants to see Drew again. As a matter of fact, I think your mom is very interested in him. How do you feel about that?”

  Trevor looked as if he suddenly didn’t want to know her secret after all. He slouched down on the couch beside her, carelessly draping his arm around her shoulders.

  “Well, to be honest, I don’t like it.”

  Megan shrugged his arm from off her shoulders and turned to glare at him.

  “Hey! Now, don’t look at me like that. Try and see it from my point of view. I’ve had my mom to myself ever since I was born. I’ve never even seen her look at another man. It’s just kind of weird for me to see my mom dating. Have some compassion.”

  Megan relaxed back against the couch again, stiffening when his arm made its way back around her shoulders.

  “Well, I think you should be supportive of her. I think it’s wonderful and so romantic for her to find love after being alone for almost thirty years. And think of the cute stepsisters you’ll have if your mom decides to marry Drew. Three sisters and two little brothers. Now that’s a beautiful thought.”

  Megan snickered at Trevor’s arrested look. He looked shocked by the thought of having so many sisters all at once. Poor thing. Poor Blaine! Blaine would most likely have to do all of the Christmas shopping.

  “Make that four sisters. You forgot to count Linette,” Trevor said too sweetly.

  Megan’s snickers stopped immediately as she turned to stare at Trevor.

  “Trevor, I hope this isn’t your way of proposing to me, because it’s pretty off the wall, even for you.”

  Trevor grabbed the remote control from off of the coffee table and quickly turned on the TV. “What channel was that English romance on anyway?”

  Megan grabbed the remote from his hands, hiding it behind a throw pillow.

  “Don’t change the subject. You need to deal with this romance, right here. Are you seriously thinking about marriage?”

  Trevor felt the familiar weight of the engagement ring in his pocket and wondered if he should spring it on her tonight. He looked at her from under half-closed lids and decided against it. He’d wait another week. But it couldn’t hurt to have her start thinking in that direction.

  “And what if I was? Haven’t you thought of children and becoming a mother? Would it be so bad to get married to someone like me? Just picture yourself doing makeovers for your own daughters. Of course, they’d have black, curly hair, but wouldn’t that be something you’d like to do someday?”

  Megan tilted her head and thought about becoming a mother. Would she be like her own mother or would she be more like Cora? She sighed and knew the answer to that would be entirely up to her.

  “Yes, I would like to be a mother. Very much. It’s the husband part I’m worried about.”

  Trevor sat up, turning his body so he could massage Megan’s shoulders and back.

  “You would love it. Think of it, a massage every night. I might even do the dishes, too. I’d probably pick up my socks. And . . . I’d take Marjorie for a walk every night.”

  Megan laughed, relaxing under the gentle massage. Forget the socks, though. If he’d just take over Marjorie’s walks, that in itself would send her running to the altar.

  “And what would you get in return? A twenty-eight year old failed real estate agent, a loser of a dog trainer, and a known bomb at relationships. I just don’t think you’ve thought this through very well. You really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  As Trevor’s hands stilled on her back, she turned to look up into his eyes. He looked very serious and fierce.

  “I don’t let anyone put my girlfriend down. Even you. So as your punishment, you have to come up with ten nice things to say about yourself in under one minute, or I get to kiss you. Starting now.”

  Megan’s mouth fell open in surprise. Was he serious? Holy Hannah. He was looking intently at his watch and smiling. She’d better hurry.

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this! Oh, all right. Um, I’m pretty good at budgeting money. I have great taste in houses. I’m a really good hair braider. I make the best lasagna in the world. Yes, even better than your mother’s. Um, I think my toes are cute. I’m really good at packing suitcases. I’ve never had any cavities. I’m a safe driver. I read my scriptures every day. And, finally, I have great taste in English romances.”

  With that she grabbed the remote she had hidden under the pillow and flipped on the TV, turning it to A&E just in time to hear the opening score of Pride and Prejudice. She laughed at Trevor’s dramatic anguish and decided that it wouldn’t be so bad after all to have his arm around her during the show. It might even be nice.

  During a commercial, Trevor turned down the volume and tickled her ear to get her attention.

  “So how was your date with Dylan? Did he propose to you? I bet he offered you children with ordinary, straight, blond hair.”

  Megan grimaced and stretched before answering. She didn’t really want to go into everything that had happened. She didn’t want to see her good mood disappear.

  “Well, put your mind at rest. Dylan has accepted the fact that I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with him at this time. Or any time for that matter. So, you see, everything is just the way it should be.”

  Trevor looked into her eyes searchingly, as if he were trying to read her mind. “You know, you can talk to me about anything. You do know that, don’t you? Anything at all.”

  Megan winced at the memory of being with her parents that afternoon and knew she didn’t want him to know how dysfunctional her family really was. He’d reconsider that cubic zirconium.

  “Oh, Trevor. Do you really want to be disillusioned this early in our relationship?”

  Trevor frowned thoughtfully and then looked Megan straight in the eye. “Megan, if there is something that is upsetting you, then I want to know what it is. When you care about someone, you have a natural urge to make everything better. To help. Please, disillusion me.”

  Megan groaned as she massaged her temples. She really didn’t want to tell Trevor that her father was a thief. Call her a coward, but she did have her pride. She’d just have to walk around the truth a little bit.

  “What do you do when someone hurts you badly? What do you do when you have all of these feelings of pain and anger and you don’t know what to do with them? I feel like I’m going to be swallowed up by it all. It’s like my mind is in constant replay of every bad thing they’ve ever done or said to me and I just can’t get over it. I went over to my parents’ house after my lunch with Dylan and we had a major confrontation. I wanted to deal with a couple issues and they flat out didn’t. My mom pretty much disowned me and my dad couldn’t help laughing as I walked out the door. It wasn’t a very pleasant afternoon.”

  Trevor sighed and grabbed on to Megan’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly. “Oh, Megan, I’m so sorry. It looks like you have a pretty big task ahead of you.”

  Megan blinked, caught off guard. That wasn’t exactly what she had expected to hear. “What do you mean by that?”

  Trevor leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to put what was in his heart into words.

  “You have a big weight just sitting on your spirit. Right?”

  Megan nodded her head in agreement. That was pretty much it in a nut shell.

  “The only way to get rid of that weight is to forgive your parents. You have to forgive them of everything.”

  Megan sat up in surprise. “Didn’t you hear anything I just said. You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you what they’ve d
one! It’s so easy for you to sit there and say forgive them. You were raised by Cora the Great. She was the perfect mom. You probably don’t even realize that there are moms and dads out there who really don’t care about their kids. There are some emotionally and physically abused people out there, and all they have to do is forgive? Are you kidding me?”

  Trevor grabbed Megan’s shoulders and pulled her back to sit beside him. He put his arms around her, holding her gently, and then surprised her again.

  “No. I don’t kid around about the Atonement. You’re right, though. I was raised by a wonderful woman who was completely unselfish. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had to deal with my share of anger and hurt and pain. No one, regardless of what kind of parents they have, is immune to suffering.”

  Megan looked at him doubtfully, not wanting to believe that all she had to do was to simply forgive her parents. As if that would take away all the pain she was feeling. Trevor reached in his pocket for his wallet and pulled out a ragged piece of paper that looked as if it were a hundred years old. He smoothed it out almost reverently and then looked at her expectantly, as if he were about to say something earth shattering.

  “What?” She asked, starting to feel irritated.

  “My mom doesn’t even know this, but when I was on my mission in Guatemala, my companion and I were attacked from behind. There was about five of them, and they beat us up pretty bad. My companion had to go to the hospital and get stitches. They gave me two black eyes, a broken nose, and this scar on my chin. I don’t even think it was because we were missionaries. I think it was because they were just bored and wanted to have some fun. A week after the beating, we were at a zone conference, and one of the sister missionaries came up to me and handed me this quote. It’s from Ann Madsen. The sister had heard her give a talk at a women’s conference and she wrote it down. It really helped me. Do you want to hear it?”

  Megan shrugged her shoulders casually. She’d listen to anything if it made her feel better.

  “ ‘Forgiveness is one of our tasks, as we partake of the sacrament. If we would be forgiven, we must, ourselves, forgive. To truly forgive, I must identify the hurt, the pain—honestly, not denying it—and then offer that pain as a willing sacrifice to God. Then it can disappear. Once I’ve given it away, my attitude toward the person who inflicted it is also changed; no grievance or wound remains, and he or she can be seen in a new light. The other person need do nothing for this to happen. It is in my heart that the ‘mighty change’ can take place.’ ”

  Megan relaxed slightly as she thought about what Trevor had just said. It was possible he had a point. But she needed a little more time to think about it. Praying about it probably wouldn’t hurt either.

  “Thanks,” was all she said. She gave Trevor a hug. He traced her eyebrows with his forefinger, causing goosebumps to rise up on her arms. It was only natural that Megan lean up and kiss him gently on the lips. Trevor’s surprised grin had her wondering if maybe she should be curbing those natural instincts.

  “Um, I forgot to thank you for the phone and the credit card. That was very thoughtful of you. But I’m surprised you haven’t called me on it yet. I know you have my number.”

  Trevor knew he was being put off, but didn’t mind. The night was still young.

  “Hmm, yes, but I have been very busy lately. Moving a business compound is harder than it sounds. But after that’s all done, I’ll have much more time to devote to you. And that’s the reason for the credit card. You can be busy having fun and shopping in the meantime. What have you bought with it so far? I wouldn’t mind a little fashion show.”

  Trevor knew darn well she hadn’t bought a stick of gum with it, a fact that irked him greatly. He was very curious at her resistance.

  Megan’s mouth quirked up as she wondered what to tell him. Should she tell him the truth that she thought he was insane if he thought he could buy her affections, or should she be a little more diplomatic?

  “Well, I guess I just can’t make up my mind what to buy first. I’m trying to decide between a beach house in the Caribbean or a ski lodge at Sundance. What do you think?”

  Trevor’s eyes widened in surprise. Wow! He had really misjudged her. Then he saw her mouth twitch and the twinkle in her eyes and knew she was making fun of him. He grabbed her and tickled her until she squealed for mercy.

  “You little brat! You really had me going there for a while.”

  Megan held her stomach as she continued to laugh at the horrified expression she had seen bloom on his face. He was turning out to be a lot of fun to tease.

  “What are you thinking, giving me a credit card? Why don’t we stick with flowers and candy?”

  Trevor growled at her and reached over to tickle her again but she was ready this time and jumped over onto the love seat, keeping a safe distance between them.

  “Flowers and candy get a little boring after a while and think of all the time you’re saving Blaine by picking out your own gifts. You’d be doing him a big favor.”

  Megan rolled her eyes and then rolled onto her stomach with her feet waving in the air. She looked just like a teenager. Trevor couldn’t stop from smiling at her.

  “Well, if you put it that way. Why don’t you give me some ideas of what you expect me to buy with it? I’m a little new at this sort of thing.”

  Trevor let out a huge sigh of relief. Now they were getting down to business.

  “That’s easy enough. You can buy yourself anything, really. I would wait on the ski lodges and beach houses until our relationship becomes a tad more formal. Other than that, your limits are what you make them. Let’s see, you could buy your new boyfriend a tie, or Marjorie a new leash—that sort of thing. Or you could get more adventurous and, say, get yourself a new car. Or, if you want to quit your job and go back to school for your masters degree, that would be up to you.”

  Megan asked out of curiosity. “I hope this isn’t a rude question, but what exactly is the credit limit on my card?”

  Trevor studied her for a minute before answering. What was going on inside her head? She looked as if she was asking just to make him feel better.

  “That specific card has a five hundred thousand dollar limit, with an option for a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar cash advance.”

  Megan smiled slowly then went over and sat down next to Trevor again on the couch, grabbing his arm and pulling it around her shoulders.

  “Trevor, that’s a lot of faith to have in somebody. Have I told you lately that you’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had?”

  Trevor looked down at her suspiciously and shook his head.

  She had caved in a lot quicker than he had bargained for. He would just have the credit card company notify him immediately the moment she used the card. He wouldn’t be able to relax until he knew what was brewing in her mind.

  The front door flew open as Linette and Blaine breezed in, laughing and giggling together like little kids.

  Trevor scowled, knowing his plans for kissing Megan had just gone up in smoke. He’d be lucky to get a good night hug now. Rotten Blaine! To Trevor’s horror, they all stayed up watching the first part of Pride and Prejudice, then he and Blaine were kicked out the door at ten o’clock sharp. Trevor shook his head in frustration as he got in his car to drive home. Aside from the fact that he hadn’t been properly kissed goodnight, things were coming along rather well. He wasn’t sure what to think of her parents, but Megan seemed like she really wanted to work through it. She impressed him more each day. And if he could just keep her on schedule, then he wouldn’t have to change their flight plans to Venice. But, if he had to push the wedding back a couple of days then he could deal with that. Or, rather, Blaine would. He was so good at working out the details.

  Twenty-Six

  THE NEXT WEEK WAS a blur of lunch dates, candlelight dinners, and long walks. Everything she’d always wanted: a little romance. Dylan’s idea of romance had always been either watching sports on TV together or going to
parties. Always a lot of noise and excitement, but not a lot of intimacy. Who’d have thought that Trevor, the seminary president, had it in him?

  Megan smiled as she did her laundry. Linette was supposed to meet her at home for lunch and then they were going to get ready for their dates that night. Trevor and Blaine had planned a big double date together and were keeping it a surprise. Megan shook her head in wonder. Her life was so different now compared to a month ago. It was amazing what a little love could do for someone.

  Wait a second. Megan dropped a shirt and put both hands over her mouth. Had she really fallen in love with Trevor Riley? Megan left the laundry room and walked aimlessly towards the kitchen. She sat on one of her bar stools at the counter and rested her head in her arms. Maybe she wasn’t such a bomb at relationships after all? Maybe this had a chance of working. Megan blinked, realizing she had just fallen in love with a very wealthy man. Would it be okay to take his money now that she knew she loved him? He would give her anything she wanted. Megan looked over at the credit card laying on the counter and knew exactly what she wanted. A week ago when Trevor had told her what her credit limit was, the idea had popped into her head immediately, but she had hesitated. She could never take advantage of a boyfriend to that extent, even if he was practically begging her to. On the other hand, taking advantage of a fiancé was perfectly natural. And very acceptable. She picked up the card, looking it over thoughtfully. It could wait until Monday though. She had a date tonight and she wanted plenty of time to get ready. Megan walked over to her purse and put the card in her wallet.

  * * *

  Blaine and Trevor showed up at four o’clock sharp, dressed in jeans and T-shirts. Megan and Linette looked at each other in dismay. There had been a major miscommunication as far as what a “big” date constituted.

  “Uh, sweetie? I thought you said tonight was going to be the best date we’ve ever been on? Um . . . either you’re a little casual or we’re very overdressed,” Megan said, looking down at her high heels, silk skirt and wrap-around silk shirt. Linette was even worse; she was wearing sequins. Megan started to snicker at Linette’s horrified expression.