For Us: The Girl I Loved

by Wylder, Penny

  Peter runs a finger through the chocolate again, this time reaching between us and smearing the warm chocolate across my clit. I gasp, suddenly I'm dripping, both chocolate and arousal. He kneels down and licks into me, and my mind goes perfectly, deliciously blank. His tongue swirls around my clit, searching for every last little bit of chocolate, and by the time he's done, I'm thoroughly gasping, with my fingers in his hair. More. I need more, and he gives it to me, pushing his tongue into my pussy and fucking it until I'm squirming on the counter. But it's not enough, and he pulls back with a grin. "Just like that."

  "Just like what?" I say, irritated that he stole an orgasm from me, even if we both agree that he's allowed.

  "You were thinking too hard," he says.

  Turning off the stovetop, he scoops me off the counter and out of the kitchen. We're to the bedroom in record time, and he lays me on the bed. I've never seen him put on a condom so fast, and then he's here and above me, and pushing in and in and in until I'm filled completely. My eyes flutter shut, feeling all of him.

  "Amber," he says, and I manage to open my eyes. "I promise that I'm going to fuck you on that table, but since we're talking about this, this is what you need. What you've always needed."

  I realize that he's lined himself up with me and that I have the full weight of his body on mine. It feels so good, and I haven't thought about anything else since he laid me on this bed. I could easily fall asleep in the comfort of his warmth and presence, and the fact that he's so deep inside me I feel complete. "Okay," I say.

  "Do you want to put a name to it?"

  "What do you mean?"

  He chuckles, and I like that I can feel him everywhere. "I mean do you want to call what we're doing something so that you don't have to say that we're doing...this."

  "Maybe," I say. "But I don't know what to call it. And I'm not sure the normal thing would work." I can't stop the blush that rises to my cheeks. Go figure.

  "Hmm," he says, moving his arms under my shoulders and up so that he's cradling my neck and head. "I'm not so sure about that. You seem to like it."

  "No," I say too quickly. I am not...that. There's a twinge in my gut, like my body is accusing me of lying, but I'm not ready for that.

  "You don't like the word submissive?" he asks it while his lips are pressed against my skin, and I swear that flames bloom from his lips and consume me.

  I lie, and I don't. "No." Because that word means something different to me. And it will take me a long time to separate it from this feeling.

  He kisses me lightly. "For now why don't we just call it the system. Our system. But we'll come back to the other words later," he says.

  "The system," I say, testing it out. It's good. It's also something that we could potentially use in public if we needed to reference it. The system. "I can do that."

  "Good. Because I think that having language makes it real. Otherwise it's just something nebulous that's going to disappear, and even though this is just a test, I don't think either of us really want it to disappear." I shake my head, and he smiles. "Wrap your arms around my shoulders."

  I do, and I feel him move, shifting his legs to the outside of my hips for more leverage, though his weight is still on me.

  "Spread your legs." I do. "As wide as you can make them go."

  I have to close my eyes. Because this is suddenly so intimate, and I'm ready and I'm not and every inch that I spread my legs apart feels more vulnerable and makes him feel bigger inside me. I stretch and stretch, until I can't stretch anymore, and this feeling is amazing. I gush wetness, and my nerves jump with sensitivity. He feels huge, buried in me, and he's pinning me down while cradling me. And I'm holding onto him. It's not hard to see what he's doing but I also love it. Feeling this, it's all him. He's everywhere. Inside and outside and supporting me while I hold onto him. The holding on is important. It makes me feel active, and that I'm saying yes, not just lying there while he takes over.

  And then he starts to move, and I'm not ready. I didn't realize my body was so primed, because I come immediately. One thrust, and I'm drowning in pleasure, digging my nails into his back while he starts up a true rhythm and I'm still coming. It doesn't feel like it's going to stop, perfect and rolling and holy shit it's just so good that I'm not breathing. As soon as the last one fades, the next one picks up, sparking and sparkling and bursting and I'm moaning but it's muffled by Peter kissing me and the sounds of him fucking me. And one of the things I notice between waves of pleasure is that I'm not thinking. I'm not thinking about anything but the fact that I'm here with Peter and it's perfect.

  "Peter," I gasp, in-between thrusts, "I can't come again."

  "Don't be silly," he says. "Of course you can. One more time." And he pushes in. I burst like a nova, light flashing, and I hear him come too, groaning against my shoulder while his hips still pump through his climax. I haul in breath after breath as the fire of pleasure fades and I come back to earth. It doesn't feel real. Peter grins at me when he recovers. "I did promise you sex."

  "That you did." I don't let go, I'm still clinging to him and he's still inside me and I'm pissed that we have to get up and go to work because I don't want to move. I sigh, and Peter kisses my forehead. "You're coming back tonight, and I'll make sure you get plenty of sleep underneath me."

  "How did you know?"

  "Because you closed your eyes, your breath smoothed out like you were going to sleep, and you're frowning now that it’s over." Peter's lips touch mine, starting slow before going deeper, pulling me in and lighting a fire in my gut again. I didn't realize he paid attention that closely.

  "Okay." He removes his arms from underneath me, and slowly, slowly, pulls back, and I don't like it. I feel cold and empty and I want to stay in bed. "There's no chance that if we just both call in sick that no one will notice, right?"

  "Yeah, I think that might give it away."

  "Fine," I sigh, “but I need coffee. And maybe another pancake."

  "That," he says, “I can do.

  17

  Peter

  Present

  Harley is back on set and we’re filming the other side of our kiss scene today. Since Clay isn’t here, I asked Amber that we re-do my side of the kiss as well. Neither of us were acting, and I don’t want our kiss being broadcast to the national viewing audience of America.

  But I’m distracted, because the second I walk out onto the set in that costume, I’m thrown back to that day and that kiss and the way Amber’s mouth felt under mine. I’m reliving this morning with some of the best sex we’ve ever had. Not to mention the system.

  I’ve got to stop thinking about it because I’m going to get a hard-on in front of the crew, but the memory of Amber’s face, relaxing into me as I took control, feels like it’s burned onto the inside of my eye lids.

  Harley walks up. “Hey, Peter.”

  “How was New York?”

  She rolls her eyes. “You know, same old. Answering the same questions over and over until your brain starts to bleed.” I do know. Press junkets are boring, but necessary. “I got a new question a few times though, so I figured I’d give you a heads up because it’s probably heading your way too.”

  “Oh, no.”

  “Yep. I think five different interviewers asked me if we were together.”

  I shake my head. “Do we even have any pictures together floating around?”

  She laughs, “No, other than the production photos, I don’t think so.”

  “All right, thanks for letting me know.”

  “No problem,” she stretches, and that costume, which Amber was falling out of and Harley does too, is made even sexier by her stretch. It’s made sexier and it does nothing for me. “I brushed it off, left it to you for what you want to say. They’ll ask who you’re with now, since they know that we’re not together.”

  “And I’ll say that I’m happily taken, nothing more.” I freeze, realizing that I probably shouldn’t have said that, but it’s the truth. I may not b
e able to shout to the rooftops that I’m finally able to be with the love of my life again, but I’m not going to deny that and have people try to paint me as a free-wheeling, single man who’s available and willing.

  “Good,” she says. “You ready for this? I heard you already filmed your side.”

  “Yeah. I think we’re going to film both sides again, though, just for consistency.”

  “Sounds good.”

  A few minutes later we’re rolling, and I do my best to disappear into the character. I’m trying to let go of that feeling of Peter and Amber in the scene and become Alex and Genova. It’s not as easy as I would like it to be. I try to catch Amber’s eye between takes, but it seems she’s always doing something. Gloria is holding out something for her to look at or she’s giving instructions to the DP and the rest of the crew.

  It’s probably better this way, because by the end of filming I’m finally getting to the place where I can let myself go, and the final take is definitely the best one. Harley heads off, and I go to my trailer, because I can’t go straight to Amber the way I want to. But my phone is in my trailer and I’m going to text her.

  I’m in the middle of doing that when there’s a knock on my door. Speak of the devil. “Hello,” I say with a smile.

  “I’m here to talk about possible changes to your character, in case anyone asks.”

  “Good to know.” She closes the door, and I press her up against it and kiss her. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she breathes.

  “It’s not like you, to take a risk like this that would make people ask questions.”

  “I know.” She’s blushing and it’s cute and I want to kiss her again, but I let her finish. “I just wanted to see you because I didn’t like watching you with Harley.”

  She’s looking up at me with hopeful eyes, and I do kiss her again. I run my tongue across her lips and she opens her mouth, and I take it. The way she immediately surrenders makes me hard and I pull her closer, press her harder against the wall so she’s feeling all of me. “It took me a long time to not think about you and me kissing in the scene,” I say. “And I tried to look at you, but you were lost in directing. I even thought about the fact that even though Harley was falling out of that shirt that it did absolutely nothing for me.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  She smiles. “Okay.”

  “It’s not going to be easy watching me pretend to have sex with her either.”

  She makes a face. “I know, but I’ll make it work. This is my job, and you better make that scene as hot as you can. And then when you’re done, you come home and you take all the sexy energy out on me.”

  “Just like I’m about to do right now?”

  Amber giggles. “Exactly.”

  “I’m sorry that it has to be like this,” she says. “I wish you could come over and just kiss me and have everybody know. I wish things weren’t the way that that they are.”

  I laugh, pulling her down onto the couch with me. “I’m fine with it, as long as I get to keep having moments like this with you.”

  She laughs too. “I think you might like fucking me in secret a little too much.”

  “You’re the one who came here and also the one who suggested the bathroom at Fantasia. If I like it, you do too.” I peel her shirt back and run my tongue along the line of her collarbone. “Maybe you want to be caught and get it over with.”

  “I do not!” she says, hitting my arm. “I just don’t like my life being harder than it needs to be. We both worked hard to get where we are, and this isn’t making it any easier. You know just as well that nothing has ever been easy for us. Nothing. I don’t think I’d even be here and we wouldn’t be together again if it weren’t for Mr. Davidson’s letter.”

  I stop. The letter. I’d almost forgotten about those. “You know about the letter.”

  Amber bites her lip. “Yeah. I remembered it the other day and I wanted to tell you that I knew but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up because I knew that it was supposed to be a secret.”

  “How did you know?”

  “I had to delay all my applications for a year because of the heart stuff. So when I went to interview, they told me about the package. I called Mr. Davidson and he told me that it was you. I never got to thank you for it. I did try to text you, but your number was different.”

  That feels like being punched in the stomach. “I had to change it after my mother came back and robbed me. It was so that she wouldn’t find me again. Now I really wish that I hadn’t changed it.”

  “Your mother?”

  “I’ll tell you about it sometime,” I say. “Not now.”

  “Okay. I just wanted to say thank you. Because you brought us back together by doing that.”

  I can’t say anything, because it feels like too much. I kiss her instead until we’re both panting, hands roaming. “You never have to worry about transition,” I tell her, pulling her deeper into the trailer, “because I’ll tell you.”

  “We’ve transitioned?”

  “Yes.”

  She sighs contentedly. “Okay. But after this morning, I need to tell you that I’m kind of sore.”

  “Hmmm…” I make a show of slowly running my hands down her body. “Whatever am I going to do with you then?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I study her face as I consider my options. “I could take you with my fingers and have you lick them clean.” Her eyes widen, and I think I need to spend some more time to think of creative dirty things to do, because I’m not sure some of this stuff has even occurred to Amber.

  “I could stick your panties in your mouth to keep you quiet and then use my mouth on you until you come.”

  Her breath hitches on that one, and I file away the knowledge that she might not mind being gagged for a sexy reason.

  “I could make you suck me off, and you get nothing. So that you have to spend the rest of the day wet and wanting and knowing that you’re not allowed to come until I touch you again.”

  Amber groans, letting her head fall against my chest. “I shouldn’t want that, but I do.”

  I drop my hand down and slip it between her legs. Even through her jeans I can feel her heat. I rub my finger across the seam, and she gasps, hips jerking. She wants more, and I let her ride my hand for a few seconds, eyes closed, before I pull it away. “That’s all you get.”

  She moans, and I think I feel her shake. “Please?”

  “No,” I shake my head. “Because by the time my head is between your legs tonight I want you so wet that I have to drink you. And I want you to think about that.” Sitting up, I guide her to her knees in front of me, and undo my belt. “Now suck.”

  Amber shudders with arousal and lowers her mouth onto me. God, she feels so good. Hot and wet and desperate, her lips bob up and down on my skin and she’s not holding back. She’s sucking hard, and I feel pleasure being pulled from the nerves in my body, even in places I didn’t know could feel that way.

  Reaching down, I pull my cock up and out of her reach and I don’t even have to speak, she knows. I watch my balls disappear into her mouth, and it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

  Shit.

  Her mouth is a warm heaven, and if I could walk around with the feeling of Amber’s mouth sucking my cock and balls all the time, I would do that. She focuses on one, and then the other, and then back again, and I’m dizzy with the way it feels.

  Moving back to my shaft, she licks it from base to tip, and I suck in a breath. “Fuck, Amber.”

  She raises an eyebrow and smiles. “I’m just doing what I’m told.” Then her mouth is on me again, taking me deep and fast, and my hands are white knuckled fists to stop from taking her head and guiding it. I told her to suck me and I’m going to let her do it her way. And her way is pretty fucking good.

  Pleasure builds quickly as she drives her mouth down my shaft, and suddenly I’m close. So close, and then I’m there, groaning as I c
ome into her mouth, and I feel her dive down again, letting it flow into her mouth, and then I feel her swallow. And again until it’s gone, my cock twitching on her tongue.

  I can’t move, even when she puts me away and buckles my belt, I’m frozen in the aftermath. “Good?” she asks.

  “Perfect,” I tell her, voice raspy.

  She climbs into my lap, and she’s straddling one of my legs. She’s moving slightly as she smiles, pressing herself up against me. “Are you trying to cheat?”

  “No,” she says, but she is. Blood rushes to her face and I grin, grabbing her hips and setting her on her feet.

  “No cheating. When I get you into bed tonight, I’ll make it worth it.”

  She looks at me. “I have a question,” she says, “about the system.”

  “Okay.”

  “What if you say something like that, and then tonight comes and you decide that it’s more fun to not let me come?”

  I shake my head. “That’s not what this is for. The system isn’t for me taking fun away from you or trying to drive you crazy. I’m not going to lie to you or change my mind. If I decide that I don’t want you to come for a few days,” I look at her in the eyes and make sure she’s looking back, “and I fully intend for that to happen,” I say, letting it sink in, “then I’m going to tell you. For me to tell you that we’re going to do something and just rip it away isn’t sexy, that’s mean. Could be considered worse than mean.”

  She nods. “Good. I’m okay with that.”

  “Even with not coming for days?”

  Amber shivers under my hands. “I might not be okay with that, but I suppose that depends on how many times you promise to make me come when those days are through.”

  “It will be a lot. And so you know, you’re going to come tonight. And just to make sure that you’re aware of it, I want you to remember what you just did. Every time you speak to someone for the rest of the day, I want you to remember that you had my cock between your lips. And that my cum is still coating your tongue. And that your cum is going to be coating my tongue when I take my time with you tonight. I’m going to make you come, and I’m going to take my sweet time doing it.”