Redemption: A Custos Novel

by Emjay Soren

  “That’s easy for you to say Cookie, you’re new to this life. Has Cash even talked to you about why we fought tonight?” There was so much we needed to cover and even more to uncover. There was Tavern's story that needed to be unscrambled, and I still didn’t know if Tavern fully understood that at one time she had been dead, dead as a doornail, killed by Cookie. Tavern may be immortal now for all we know. Fuck me but we had a mountain of shit to wade through.

  “He said the two of you would explain it together, and that it was good news.” She was biting her lip because she knew damn well she'd just pissed me off.

  “Bleedin’ good news aye? The fucking sod has his head up his arse. There is nothing good ‘bout this Cookie, I damn well assure ya.” If vampires got migraines I’d have one. I took the bifter from behind my ear and lit the fucker. I had never needed a blunt so bleedin’ bad as I did right now. I felt the calming affects take hold instantly and begin to soothe me.

  “Look, there are some aspects of tonight’s shit storm that are good, but it's all coming from a bad place. What I heard tonight, after I left all the other sods to go jack themselves off, was a sad fuckin' story, but I can’t explain without Cash. I may be mad at him, but I won’t discuss this behind his back.”

  “Fucking noble of ya Preacher.” Cash grumbled as he walked into the kitchen reaching for a mug that wasn’t there. He slammed the cupboard and opened the fridge getting a beer. I made a mental note to find out what foods Tavern liked so I could stock up. She needed carbs and protein, the girl was rail thin.

  “Shove it.” I said but the enthusiasm wasn’t there. The fight had come to a head and now was gone. Now it was time for the truth. “I’ll let your man here explain what went down tonight.”

  Cash being Cash didn’t beat around the bush. Drinking from his beer, he pulled the bottle back with an audible pop and looked to Cookie. “That girl you killed at Bliss, she ain't dead baby.”

  Chapter Six

  Tavern

  I had just gotten from the bath feeling an entire lifetime had been washed away. I stood naked in front of the mirror and looked at the state of my body. My skin was pale, not the normal tan I had naturally. My ribs visible along my sides. My shoulders looked sharp and jagged, the cap of my shoulder grotesquely defined even through skin. I had some muscle definition left, but not much. I looked like I was slipping into an anorexic state. My hips protruded from my sides in a sickly manner. A state of malnourishment had consumed me. I was hoping that maybe a little makeup and some clean clothes would do me wonders. I had dark circles under my eyes that made it appear as though I hadn’t washed my makeup off, but I hadn’t worn makeup since I left Bliss.

  Why couldn’t I remember leaving? I have nothing after the girl fed off me. All I remember is waking up in a dumpster in Seattle with no clue how I got there. At first I had been horrified because I didn’t know where I was; only that it wasn’t Vegas. Seeing the space needle and Pikes Pier clued me in. I had been walking the streets since then searching for a fix and desperate for sex, but too terrified to let anyone touch me.

  My thoughts were quickly distracted when I heard a gentle knock on the door. “Tavern?” It was Preacher and I felt a flutter deep inside at the sound of his voice. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through my time here and keep my hands to myself. I knew the drugs hold on me made me desperate for sex but he wasn't helping curb the desire. The man was serious eye candy.

  “Come in.” I wrapped the towel around my chest trying to gain a little composure. Looking up at him, I was sure he knew what I'd been thinking because his pale blue eyes darkened and I could see the interest flaring there.

  Very interesting.

  I blushed as his hot stare roamed my body. I didn’t have any clean clothes and the towel was all I had to cover up with. I watched his eyes travel down my legs before shifting quickly back to my eyes. He grabbed his Mariners cap and rolled it, stuffing it in his pocket. Jesus, he is a sight. “I brought you a shirt of mine and a pair of my boxers. I don’t have any pants small enough, but I figure it will work till we can get you some threads. Cookie’ll probably have something until then.”

  He was nervous, the woman in me smirked with satisfaction at the effect I seemed to have on him. “Who’s Cookie?” I ask and take the boxers and slide them up my legs under the towel. He doesn’t respond, instead standing there, staring at me. I glance in the direction of his cock and see that, yes indeed, he likes what he sees even if it is just skin and bones.

  I roll the waist of the boxers to make them tighter, but it does no good. I am extremely thin and Preacher is enormous. Knowing I never want to touch the clothes I arrived in again, I resolve myself to the fact that the boxers are better than nothing. I continue to wait for his answer about this 'Cookie' as I slip the shirt over the towel. Appearing to be frozen in the spot he's standing, he continues to stare at me. The moment is intense. I can't help but be intrigued by his reaction to me. I place my hands under the top and pull the towel from my breasts.

  I let the towel fall as he watches with apt attention. He licks his lips as the shirt falls back down over the boxers. I’m not so thin that my stomach is concave, there is still definition there, and in that moment I am thankful. My nipples are erect and brushing the fabric of the soft gray shirt. Nearly panting, I am desperate for him to touch me. I knew the drug had me in its clutches right now, but I couldn’t control the urge. I wanted him deep and hard and hot inside me.

  “What are you doin’ little Bird?” he asks me and his voice is husky and choppy.

  “Getting dressed.” I say, and though I’m being honest enough about that, there may be a small lie of ommission hovering, because I’m also trying to entice this vampire Adonis into getting inside me.

  “Is that all?” He asks, his eyes finally coming back to me. There is promise and danger there, but I don’t give a shit.

  I shake my head and step closer, breaking the trance and going for broke. He steps back and his ass leans against the counter. “No Tavern.” His voice sounds tortured.

  “Why?” The word is out of my mouth before I can think better of it. I am desperate to be fucked, but don’t know if I can bring myself to beg. I went my entire life without food and shelter more times than I would have liked to remember. I didn’t beg then, I sure as hell wasn’t begging now.

  “Because you're here for safety and so you can gain strength. You've been taken advantage of enough.” He sounds apologetic and I chance a look at his cock hidden under his jeans. There is no mistaking the effect I have on him. His mind is saying 'no', but his body is screaming 'hell yes'.

  “I know that. But I also know that sometimes a little passion can heal even the deepest wounds.”

  “And you think I have something to offer your desires?” He folds his arms across his chest. They are a massive length of corded muscle. He acts amused, but his hard on is giving him away.

  “I can see what you have to offer.” I say pointedly and look to his denim covered erection.

  “Just because I find you sexy as hell, and simply looking at you leaves me hard, doesn’t mean I’m right for the task little Bird.” He makes a move to leave, but I grasp his arm in my small hand and he pauses.

  “Wait.” I say quietly, a demand I have no right to make. “I know I’m not as appealing as I used to be, and if my situation was different, I would respect your boundaries, but I need this.” I had been with men who beat me, fed off me, forced themselves on me, and not once did they make me feel as degraded as I did now, begging him to fuck me.

  “Did you not hear what I said?” He asks, and cups my chin in his hand forcing me to look at him. “I think you’re stunning, there is no question about it. I want to bury myself inside you and feel that release. I understand the drug, and its hold on you, and that's why I'm holding back.” He drops a kiss to the side of my mouth and then crushes me to his chest. “Little Bird, if it was you talking and not the drug, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

  If I w
as free of the drug I wouldn’t be begging him for sex. I would most likely be at work busting my ass to pay off a mountain of debt in student loans. Turns out my future seems even more bleak with him refusing to fuck me.

  “It burns though.” I whine and I hate the sound, even if I understand the need behind it. My face is buried in his shirt, breathing in his unique scent of sage and cedar and something I couldn’t quite pin down. Was that weed?

  I felt him stiffen at my words, and for a moment I thought he might cave. “I know sweet Bird, but it will pass.” He drops a kiss below my ear, turns and walks out the door, leaving me standing alone in the bathroom, his scent surrounding me and reminding me of all I can’t have.

  Chapter Seven

  Preacher

  I had to get out of there, away from her before I gave in. I was never a good Priest. I liked the smell of a woman too much. I liked their curves and the sweet little gasps they made when I touched them. I liked what I did to them even more. I was dark and greedy with my carnal needs and of all the things I would have to apologize for in this second life, the way I fuck wasn't going to be one of them.

  Tavern was different than the women I had filled all the empty space in my soul with lately. She had me wanting her. It wasn't something I could explain, but I knew there was no way she could handle what I kept leashed and hidden away. I had never brought a woman home. I took them when and where I wanted and kept that part of me separate from my life with the team.

  But I knew I was attracted to her. Even when London had taken Tavern's life to save me, I'd thought she was beautiful. She had long blonde hair back then, but her eyes were the same, blue and full of hope and promise. I had thought about her often, feeling awful for the price she'd paid for my survival. I didn’t even have the decency to cherish the gift she'd given me, I only sank deeper into my own despair.

  Now here she was again, like a heaven sent second chance, asking me for things she couldn’t truly want. And here I was, fighting the urge and the need with everything in me. I knew how bad she hurt, how bad she needed sex. The drug had a hold on her, and it wasn’t her fault for needing to be touched. London had taken a dose of Bliss several months back, and had been a tornado of lust, barreling through the house begging each one of us to alleviate the pressure, the need. London had Cash to get her through, and according to him, it was the best "torture" of his life. He also said that he would die if he ever had to see her that way again.

  I felt for Tavern Madley, I did. And I wished I could help, but that was the sort of punishment I was desperate to avoid. I was careful with my attachments. It was a short list that included Leush, Bas, Cookie and Cash. I didn’t have room to add more, and I knew it couldn’t be a one night thing with her. I would never be able to give her what she would want, and I wasn’t looking for a mate. I had buried my mate long ago, and swore to never replace her, if that were even possible.

  Emme and my children took up all the space in my heart and mind. I only had memories of their love to get me through. It was the friendships that I had built over the years that made my unlife a tolerable one. It wasn’t fair to think with a raging hard on and go nut deep in a woman that I had no promises for. Tavern deserved a white knight, not a broken priest.

  I walked into my room to find Cash, Cookie and Leushus waiting for me. I didn’t know if they had heard me and Tavern, but if the Cheshire grin on Cash and Leushus' faces was any indication, they'd heard loud and clear.

  “She should be out in a minute.” I said. I licked the zig-zag paper and rolled a bifter. I didn’t care what Leushus said, I fucking needed a high, and fast.

  Cookie raised an eyebrow at me, “You sure? She might need some privacy after the way you left her.”

  “Shut it Cookie.” I warned. My tone was void of any real threat though, and Cookie knew it.

  “Preacher, are you fucking high?” I knew why she was angry. Cookie understood how the Bliss affected a person, and what Tavern was feeling right now. But I wasn't in the mood.

  “Not yet.” I scoffed and winked at her. “But I’m tryin’.”

  “Do you have an idea the state you left her in?!” She shrieked.

  “Yes, I was there when it happened to you. A night I’m sure I won’t forget any time soon.”

  She closed the distance between us in three short strides, cocked her arm back and slapped me. Hard.

  I deserved it, I was being a dick. I hated the look of pain on her face that my I had caused. I knew she wouldn’t forget that night either. Under the influence of the Bliss, Cookie had all but destroyed me with her words. She had insulted my lifestyle and my celibacy. She'd insulted my loyalty to Emme. It was the longest I had ever gone choosing not to speak with her. I knew she'd been right though, and started seeking the pleasures of the flesh every night after that. But I had hurt her in the process.

  “Let it fuckin’ go would’ja!” I yelled.

  “Watch it Preacher.” Great, now Cash was pissed too. This night just kept getting better.

  “Watch what Cash?” I asked and spun to face them all. Like a damn jury, the bunch of’em waiting to convict me of my sins. “Watch what I say? Or watch you all stand there trying to run my life as you see fit? I should box your bleedin’ ears for insulting my smarts.”

  “Watch. Your. Fucking. Tone. Mac!” He said slowly, pushing me when he called me by my birth name.

  I laughed, finally feeling my high. “What are we now, the do gooder gang? Hell just a few hours ago you wanted to leave Tavern behind and forget she existed. Now you’re all rooting for me to go munch her box!”

  “Gross.” Cookie muttered, looking first at Cash, then back to me. “Why don’t you both calm down and stop talking.”

  “I take it the voice of reason here is the same woman who killed me?” Tavern said from the bathroom doorway. She'd obviously heard our confrontation. A stealthy bunch we were not.

  Chapter Eight

  Tavern

  They all turned and looked at me and I suddenly wished I could slink away back to my room. No! I would not let them intimidate me. I straightened my back and lifted my chin in silent defiance. I wasn’t beneath them because I'd been victimized. I wasn’t the victim any longer, and I refused to let them treat me as such. Unless, of course, I was going to be Preacher's victim.

  I would so be his victim.

  The woman in the room is the same one who bit me, hell, she killed me if you wanted to believe what everyone else was saying. Though I'm guessing that's not entirely true since I'm standing here very much alive.

  “Hi.” She said and bit her lip looking to Spike for reassurance. “I’m sorry if we interrupted you, we just wanted to meet you.” She spoke gently like I was some kind of mental patient. It wasn’t as far fetched as I would have liked.

  “You didn’t interrupt anything. Preacher brought me in some clothes and left me to get dressed.” I lied, pulling on the neck of the soft gray t-shirt. Thoughts of Preachers eyes on me and his voice when he spoke had my body going molten again.

  Silver Eyes stepped forward, “You should know that they can’t read your thoughts, but I can. Even if I couldn’t, we all heard you two in there.” He pointed casually at the bathroom. “We can smell you too. I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable, but you need to know, so while you’re here you can have a little privacy.” He smiled then, making me realize how young he looked. God, he can't be more than twenty-one. "I," he placed his hand on his chest, gesturing to himself, "am Leushus.” He smiled again, like he had a secret I didn’t know about.

  Laughing, he looked at me. "My age is immeasurable, Tavern. I’m an Arch Angel.” He paused and let out a small cough. “Well, I was anyway.”

  “Oh, so you're responsible for all of this?” I didn't really expect an answer, but Spike couldn’t keep quiet.

  “You’re lucky that he did what he did, or you wouldn’t be standing here.” He seethed and his girl tugged his arm trying to soothe him.

  “Well you're right, I mean, I
had such a stellar thing going before she killed me.” I said, completely deadpan. His dark blue eyes bore through me, and I felt a twinge of fear. This guy was danger in a neat little sexy package.

  “Whose fault was that?” He sneered. I wanted to slap him, but knowing I wasn’t in a fair fight, I made my way to Preachers side instead.

  “You would think that.” I snapped, and stood my ground beside Preacher.

  “Back up ya bleedin' sod.” Preacher said to Spike and pulled me into the comfort of his arms. God he smelled fucking great. Sage, cedar......and weed.....yeah, definitely weed. It was stronger now, and as I looked up at him, I understood why. My vampire hero was smoking a doobie.

  “I am so sorry for killing you.” The woman whispered. I actually felt kind of bad for her, which was an obvious testament to how deep my idiocy went. Giving her a closer look, there was no denying her beauty, and she had a certain air about her. Clearly, I was second hand where she was high class. I felt like an imposter next to her and if what Leushus had said back at the tattoo shop was true, that we shared this ‘gift’, then I was not only an imposter, but an undeserving one at that.

  “No such thing gorgeous.” Leushus said, plucking the thoughts out of my head.

  If that kept up, poor guy was in for a treat.

  I smiled uncomfortably and looked at the floor, feeling annoyed. “What?” Preacher, Spike and the beautiful girl all said at the same time.

  Leushus laughed. “You have got to stop referring to him as Spike. It’s funny as hell sweetheart, but it’s confusing.” He pointed to Spike. “This is Cacius Troy and beside him is his mate, London Chase.”

  “London Troy, do not call me Chase." She snapped and Cacius stiffened next to her “And he goes by Cash, not Cacius.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Tavern Madley.” I was calm and polite as I spoke, but I made no move to shake either of their hands. I stayed in tight next to Preacher, content to let him go Neanderthal if need be.