The Regret (Heartache #2)

by Green, Vicki

  “Mhmm.”

  I look up at him from my spot on his chest. He’s still asleep. Even his sigh is sexy. He’s the epitome of sex. He’s still so mysterious, not telling me anything about his past. Where did he come from? What was his life like before he came here? Where does he go sometimes, for days, never revealing anything when he comes back? I snuggle into him and feel his arm tighten around me. I swear the other day he whispered that he’ll always protect me, but I could have imagined it. And my heart stopped when I thought I’d heard him say ‘just like always’, something Stephen used to say to me. It was his special words to me, telling me he’d always be there for me.

  He lied.

  I let out a breath and try to rid my mind of all these thoughts. It doesn’t help to dwell on what’s happened, what I’d hoped would be. I’ll always be hurt by it, never getting over it. Not really. I close my eyes and pray for sleep, remembering happier times, like when Tanner took me in the women’s locker room. Damn, hottest thing that’s ever happened to me. I can still feel his strong arms holding me, his powerful length inside me, from earlier tonight. But, the element being in a place where anyone could have walked in, just made it that much hotter. I never imagined he could fit inside me so perfectly. He’s much larger than I’d thought, had envisioned. Can’t say it didn’t hurt, at first, but after I adjusted, it was heaven, more than I ever imagined it could be. A smile plays on my lips as I drift off.

  ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

  “No one wants a green wall in their house.” He laughs.

  I smack his arm playfully. “It’s like a beautiful grass green. Serene, peaceful, like you’re lying in the grass in a special meadow, or somewhere you hold dear to your heart.” He looks down at me and suddenly, his face changes. Almost a look of understanding washes over it. But he couldn’t understand.

  “Give me three five gallon buckets of this color,” he says still staring into my eyes but pointing at the color swatch. “I think this will look very nice in the family room.” He leans down, a smile playing on his lips as he kisses my nose giving me chills.

  We laugh and talk all the way through the hardware store. When we finally get to his house, he takes off for the kitchen to start ripping out cabinets, and I start in the family room, laying down tarps and taping around the windows. I can’t wait to see what it’ll look like when I get done painting. It’ll be cozy, serene, a place you can watch TV or just look out through the large windows and get lost in a book or your thoughts. God, what am I thinking? I won’t be the one living here, but maybe I’ll be spending a lot of quality time here. I hope.

  “Hey, how about we….”

  It’s been a couple of hours, my head turns towards the sound. His voice trails off as I stand up from my squatting position in front of the wall I’m finishing. My knees pop and my legs and arms ache but it’s a great feeling as I look around the room. His arm wraps around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. I lean my head back as he kisses then sucks on my neck. God, that feels good. He feels good.

  “It looks amazing but I really think you need to clean up,” he whispers then sucks some of my skin into his mouth. “You’re really – very, very – messy.”

  I look down at my arms and legs. “I’m not….”

  I shiver as his warmth leaves me and then blink rapidly when a spray of paint covers my face. I whip around, holding my paint brush up in the air. “You did not just….” He laughs, flinging another shower of paint covering my shirt and arm. My eyes widen, his are full of playfulness. “You!” Leaning down, I dunk my brush into the bucket of paint, standing quickly and pull back on the bristles with my fingers then release them and watch green paint fly through the air – splattering over his face, neck, and chest.

  His eyes widen, a hint of that sexy grin I love so much appearing. “Oh! You’re in for it now.” He runs over to me as I dunk my brush again then run to the front hallway, giggling and laughing so hard, inhibiting my fast escape. I hear him behind me and feel the paint hit across my back, and I turn around, flinging more paint his way. I take off in another run, through the dining room and kitchen, heading back into the family room. Just as I’m about to run through the doorway, my body flies through the air as his arms wrap around me, tackling me onto the hard floor. I’m turned over onto my back. The wind is knocked out of me as I open my eyes, meeting the mischief in his. I stare into his eyes, darkening quickly, and feel his hand full of paint cover the side of my face, the coolness of the liquid making me shiver. Or maybe it’s his glare. “So, so dirty,” he whispers. I watch his eyes as he smears the paint down my neck, his touch leaving me only to gather more paint in his hand. “Fuck, what a hot mess,” he says as he leans up on one arm, palming the paint down my heaving chest. It’s getting really hot in here. I swallow hard as I look down and see him rub the paint down between my breasts. “We should really clean you up.” His hand travels down my stomach, and I gasp as he cups me through my shorts. Our eyes snap to each other’s, my lips part. He presses into me, not only with his hand but his cock against my thigh. He’s harder than a rock. I’m about to reach down and take care of it when suddenly his weight is off me, and I’m being pulled up by my arms. Then we’re all mouths, tugging on each other’s shirts, breaking our kiss long enough to remove them.

  He guides me backwards down the hallway. I almost trip, and our mouths are still locked. I lose my footing backing into the bathroom. His strong hands grab me, pulling me flush against the hard plains of his chest. From the corner of my eye, I watch him blindly turn the knobs on the shower faucet over the bathtub. Then he’s on his knees in front of me. I look down and watch him release the button of my shorts then pull the zipper down, his face full of concentration and burning desire. My body reacts to him pulling down my shorts, taking my panties with them. He takes my hand and presses it against his shoulder, silently telling me to step out of them. I do as he asks then I reach down and lift his chin with my fingers, taking a bold step and asking him to stand. He follows my pressing fingers and stands, now looking down at me. I lower myself, my aching legs and knees protesting my movements. I unfasten the buttons on his jeans, lowering the zipper slowly. The anticipation is overwhelming, but I know it will be worth it in the end. His hardened cock springs free as I lower his jeans, finding him commando. Why is it so hot to find him this way? I look at what’s before me and lick my lips. Not giving him time to step out of his jeans, I wrap my hand around him. He lets out a hiss, his hand moving into my hair. I’ve never gone down on a guy before, never wanted to. But this is like holding out a piece of candy to me, enticing me to taste.

  “Fuck, Jolie.” His voice echoes around me. That’s what I hope will happen.

  I open my mouth and engulf him, the taste of salt and him on my tongue. I close my eyes, taking him in then sucking as I pull back. My hands find his balls, and as I knead and tug them, his hips buck. I love that I have this effect on him, that I’m causing him to feel this way. It’s empowering, strengthening. I continue my onslaught, fondling his balls while his hips buck, making his cock fuck my mouth. That sounds so dirty and maybe it is but it’s so hot and sexy that I grow wetter by the minute. I feel him lean over me, unclasping my bra as I forge ahead, wanting to make him cum by my touch and mouth. A coolness blows across my breasts as my bra falls to the floor between us and then I feel a squirt of his warm liquid enter my mouth. I’m hoisted up and am in the tub up against the wall before I can open my eyes. He enters me swiftly and so hard that I let out a cry.

  “Fuck, I almost came,” he says against my ear. “I want to cum inside you, baby.”

  Baby.

  No one’s ever called me that before. Never wanted anyone to. Of course, I wouldn’t have allowed it. But to hear him say it, whisper it in my ear, I take it and bury it inside my mind, my memories. It’s an endearment I find I’ve been craving to hear from his lips. One I won’t ever forget.

/>   My legs wrap around his slim waist. The heels of my feet press into his firm ass, as he pounds into me. I’m still sore, but I’m relishing it. I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of him. One of his arms is around my waist, holding me up, pressing me against the wall. His free hand is flat against the wall by my head, like he’s trying to hold himself up, feeling the same intenseness that I’m feeling.

  “God! Ungh! Tanner,” I cry as he rams into me hard. “You feel so….” My breath hitches and then comes out in pants, and I can’t seem to take a deep breath.

  “What, baby? Tell me.”

  “Amazing! Incredible! So …. Ah! So good!”

  It takes all my effort to spit out those words as his hand leaves the tile and moves down to my swollen clit. He presses against it, rubbing, and I cry out again when he pinches it – hard. “I’m gonna make you cum so hard, Jolie. You ready?” I nod then shake my head against the tile, dizzy from his words and all the emotional feelings swirling inside me. “Then I’m gonna follow you. So close. I’m – so – close.” I nod again, needing him to hurry. I feel like I’m about to explode with desire. My orgasm on the brink of releasing. He begins rubbing me harder as he thrusts in and out, quicker, harder. I’m on overload as my legs clench around his waist and start shaking, my inner muscles tightening around his cock. I swear his cock just grew inside me. So freaking hot. “Let go, love. Go fly to the heavens. I’m with you.”

  One more hard push and with his words, I let myself go. Higher and higher, I soar. Tiny spots fill my vision behind my eyelids. My hands squeeze his biceps with all their might. Waves and waves of euphoria flow through me. It’s so hard to describe what I’m feeling. It’s like adrenaline that hits you and moves through you causing your heart to race. Your body shakes and quivers, making your toes curl and then your entire body becomes weak. I feel like I can’t move, struggling to open my eyes but when I do, I see we’re in the tub with me sitting across his lap. When did that happen? His hand covers the side of my face, his eyes back to their normal color and staring into mine with an unreadable expression.

  “God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he whispers, a smile appearing on those lips I long to kiss. Like he’s reading my mind, his head bends and his mouth covers mine. It’s not hot nor heavy but sweet and gentle. He pulls back, his smile growing.

  “Where have you been?” I whisper. He stiffens, his thumb that was rubbing across my cheek stills. “I’ve been waiting for you.” I smile, hoping to lighten things, and he relaxes and smiles back.

  He leans down and kisses me sweetly. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispers. My heartbeat increases as he presses against my lips again, harder, and I open my mouth to him. His tongue peeks in and I tangle mine with his, loving the taste of him, the wetness. The intimacy. I feel emotional, like he’s been my missing link, my companion, my lover, my heart. We kiss for a long time, and I love the feeling of being in his arms, safe, protected.

  “Just like always.”

  I squeeze my eyes knowing that boy who took my heart won’t ever be back. He’s gone, never to return. He’s my past and even though I’m not sure if Tanner is my future -- he’s my now. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to let him go completely. Tanner or that boy.

  ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

  “How about I call in for some pizza?” Tanner shouts from the other room.

  I look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are still flushed. A light pink tinges parts of my shoulders, arms, and chest from the hot water, the towel hiding the rest of me. “Sounds great! I’m starved.” Raising my hand, I cover my swollen lips with my fingers, still feeling his mouth on mine, and the taste of his tongue. I squeeze my legs together, feeling the soreness between them. So worth it. My fingers move from my lips to the side of my face and over my cheek. God, what he does to me. How did I go from lost and lonely to overheated every damn time I see him, hear his voice or his laugh, or see that sexy grin of his? I’ve changed so much over the years, from a scrawny, frightened girl, to a strong and independent woman. All those times I never thought I’d live to become the age where I could be free. Free from those people who took and took, never giving anything in return but pain and fear.

  “C’mon, Jolie. Got a cold one for you!”

  My mouth lifts into a smile. My brows suddenly lower, my hand covering my heart.

  “C’mon, Jolie. Catch up!”

  I shake my head. No, he’s gone. He broke his promise. I’m living for me now. “Coming!” I yell back, raising my hand and watching my shaky fingers thread through my hair.

  “So, I was thinking.”

  He takes a huge bite of his slice of pizza and gives me a grin. “I’m thinking I should go get some blankets and pillows and we can christen my house, starting in my bedroom. We can have a sort of slumber party.” He chews, still grinning from ear to ear.

  I set my piece of pizza down on the paper plate and wipe my mouth with the paper towel. “That’s a great idea, only we kinda already christened the house – um – starting in the bathroom.” I give him a wink and pick up my beer, taking a drink. We’re sitting on the floor, crossed legged, in the family room with the windows open for ventilation from the paint fumes. He leans over the box of pizza in between us and I lean towards him. He kisses me, grinning against my mouth.

  “Well, that’s a start. But we only christened the shower.” He winks and kisses me again. God, I could get so used to this. But, I might not be able to walk tomorrow.

  We didn’t finish our pizza and made love right there on the family room floor, on the paint splattered tarp, which led to taking another shower. I don’t think we got very clean. I cleaned up our pizza mess while he ran to his apartment. Once he got back, I helped him spread out the blankets in the room that will be his bedroom adding several pillows. Instead of christening that room, we snuggled together under the blankets and took a power nap. It was much needed. I was surprised when we awoke we kissed and cuddled for a while and then instead of having sex again we got up and I helped him pull some of the kitchen cabinets out. Actually, I was grateful because I needed some time, the soreness between my legs telling me I needed a longer break. I think, deep down, he sensed that even though I didn’t tell him. Hell, even with that, I was ready for another round. I think I’m making up for lost time or something.

  “Do you want to start painting my bedroom with the blue paint? I think I’m going to start making a cabinet out in the garage.” The thought of all that stooping, stretching, and squatting didn’t sound appealing, but I nod and smile anyway. I mean – the sooner we get more done, the sooner we can have sex again, right?

  Wrong.

  The rest of the day and into the evening, I painted and he made cabinets. I’ll be damned if I wasn’t so exhausted that I fell onto the makeshift bed and fell asleep in a matter of seconds. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired and sore in my life. Well, there was one time….

  “Dang, Jolie. He really got you good this time.” I hiss as he spreads ointment on the welts on my back. “I’m gonna kill him.” I look at him through my tear filled eyes. His face is full of concentration, but determination is there too. “I mean it, Jolie. Somehow, someway, I’m gonna kill him.” I take comfort in his words. I’ve never been a violent person, yet I want to see this man die. To take his aggressions out on a young girl is just wrong. I whimper as he puts more on me, everything seems to sting, but I know he’s trying to be gentle. I close my eyes and let my tears fall. I’m tired of trying to hold them back even though I try to be strong.

  “Shhhh, baby. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you. Just like always.”

  I open my eyes quickly and see I’m pushing against Tanner’s chest with my hands. My body’s shaking as I look around the room, disoriented. He tightens his arms around me, looking full of concern and worry. “What….” My voice is hoarse as if I’d been screa
ming. “What did you say?” I feel weak but yet the words I thought I heard have my blood pumping, an alarm going off in my head, my heart beating wildly for a different reason.

  He looks at me in confusion, but his eyes twitch from something else. “That I’m here for you.” His eyes search mine, trying to figure out what I thought or what I know I heard.

  I tilt my head, knowing I heard something more. “No. Something else.” Lowering my head, I shake it trying to think of what I heard. It was like he came from my dreams right into the room. His hands cup my face, pulling up so I have no choice but to look at him.

  “I said I’ve got you. Bad dream?” I nod, giving up to my own crazy head. He pulls me into his arms, his chin resting on the top of my head, and his hand cups the back of my neck. “I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? How can I fix it, make it better?”

  “Here. Let me make it better.” He puts a Band-Aid over the cut on my knee. Another tear slides down my face as I think about how hard I fell, trying to get away from my house as fast as I could. I look down as he concentrates on fixing me, his tongue peeking out the side of his mouth. “There.” He stands, giving me his beautiful smile. He wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head, his hand cups the back of my neck. “I’ve got you, Jolie. I’ll always be here for you. Just like always.”