Whom The Gods Love

by M. M. Perry

  “Driscol!” the woman cried happily, “I heard you were down at the Foothill Settlement. I didn’t expect to see you back up here again so soon. Landry said you were waiting for a special item to be delivered. But I see you have brought some new guests with you. They wouldn’t be the special delivery you were waiting for, would they?”

  “No. This is better. An unexpected surprise. Ulma, please meet my daughter,” Driscol said patting Cass on the back, “Cass.”

  Cass took a step forward and smiled at Ulma, who was looking back and forth from her to Driscol, a funny look on her face, clearly trying to find some familial resemblance between Cass and Driscol.

  Cass chuckled as she leaned against the bar, “You may not see it, but Driscol is my father in every way that matters. I was a foundling. Driscol and Selina raised me.”

  Ulma put her hand against her heart as she spoke.

  “Oh thank the gods for not leaving me twisting in the wind there.”

  “Wondering if perhaps Driscol had spent a little too much time away from home in his youth, and not enough seeing to his husbandly duties?” Cass finished. “You wouldn’t be the first.”

  “I would guess not,” Ulma said laughing. “It is wonderful to finally meet you. Driscol speaks of you often. Though, I must say, you are not what I was expecting at all.”

  “A seven-foot-tall she-devil, bulging with muscles and spoiling for a fight?” Cass asked.

  “Something like that,” Ulma replied.

  “I hope I haven’t disappointed. I can’t do much about my stature or my lack of devlishness, but I could start a brawl if you’d like?”

  “Please no, at least not here at my place. Though if you’d like to stop by Redburns’ across the way, I might enjoy seeing you start one there. That pile of razorback droppings has been spreading a rumor that I serve rotten ale.”

  “We’ll see what we can manage,” Cass replied.

  “Are you visiting Chulpe for a while?” Ulma asked. “I have rooms enough for you all. And of course, even if you can’t stay the night, you must dine with us this evening. I’ll get Roget to tend bar so I can make something special. At least for a while. If your stories are half as good as Driscol’s, I expect to find him and most of my staff lingering by your table, trying to eavesdrop.”

  “We would love to stay here, if only for the night. I don’t think any of us would object to a nice dinner and a warm bed to sleep in,” Cass replied.

  “I’ll set it all up then!” Ulma said. She motioned to someone behind them, and almost instantly two serving girls and a young man, whom Cass assumed was Roget, appeared at the bar. Ulma quickly rattled off a list of duties for each of them to see to, and then she stepped out from behind the bar, leaving it in Roget’s care.

  “I suspect you’ll want to get a little cleaned up before you eat. Pip, I’m guessing, is already taking care of stabling your animals and getting your things brought in. I’ve already set my girls to stoking the boilers to a full steam so there’ll be plenty of hot water for your baths. If there’s anything else you need, just pull the bell rope in your room and someone will be with you shortly,” Ulma said as she led them upstairs.

  As Ulma lead them down a long hallway, Nat was delighted to discover that each of them, even him, were being given their own private rooms. He’d rarely ever stayed in an inn with Inez and, on those rare occasions they did, he made do sleeping on the floor near the hearth while Inez took the bed. The thought of having not only a bed to sleep in but his own room was exciting. Each of their rooms was furnished with a large soft bed, a huge copper tub and a dressing area. The copper tub was situated behind a cloth screen, giving the bather privacy from any serving people who might enter to bring fresh towels or linens. Callan turned to ask where his things were when Ulma answered his question before he even had a chance to voice it.

  “I’ll let Pip know which rooms you’re each in. He’s usually very good at figuring out which things go to which person, but if he gets anything wrong, just ring the bell. If you hear the door open while you’re bathing, that will just be Pip bringing in your things,” Ulma said.

  Everyone hurried to their respective rooms and began cleaning up. Callan rang his bell several times, first for scented soaps, then for a cool drink while he bathed, and finally, for a shot of his favorite brandy. He was impressed by the speed and deference with which the staff served him, even thinking his own servants could learn a thing or two from Ulma and her servers. And the brandy had been particularly excellent, rivaling even that served at his table back at the castle. The whole experience left Callan wondering why when he had visited Chulpe in the past, the king had always put Callan up in a room in one of the more prominent inns near the square, where the quality of the food and service couldn’t hold a candle to Ulma’s. He even wondered if the king, not exactly his best of friends, had purposefully chosen an establishment that was merely adequate, instead of this excellent institution. Although those hotels looked more luxurious, he had never been pampered as well as he had at Ulma’s. By the time he got out of his tub and grabbed one of the incredibly soft scented towels, he felt like a new man.

  He followed the sumptuous smells coming from downstairs back to the dining area. The room was really getting busy now, with almost every table full of diners. Ulma showed him to a long table where the benches were conspicuously empty of patrons. It was clear to Callan that Ulma had set it aside for their party, or perhaps even shooed away some other customers to make space. Callan was the first to arrive, which he was more than a little surprised by. He imagined he would be the last to the table since he had spent so long in his tub partially emptying it to refill it with more warm water several times. True to her word, Ulma’s taps had not run cold the entire time. Without Callan even asking, a serving girl appeared at his side almost before his rear had settled onto a bench, setting down both a flagon of ale and another glass of the particularly excellent brandy he had enjoyed earlier. As he nursed his drinks, one by one the group joined him at the table. Inez was the next to show up, much to Callan’s chagrin. Her wiry gray hair was actually clean and combed flat and the old woman seemed more invigorated than he had seen her in a while. Driscol and Nat turned up next. The mountainous man was busy telling the enthusiastic young warrior about a school of fighting perfect for one on one battle. Viola came next, apple-cheeked from a fresh scrubbing.

  Gunnarr came down then, stretching and yawning. Callan wondered if he had decided to take a little nap before joining everyone. He wasn’t wearing his armor, so he looked just a little smaller than normal, though he still dwarfed everyone aside from Driscol. Even without his armor, his bulk was impressive. He had on a simple sleeveless tunic, which he must have brought with him, since it was undyed, unlike the new clothes Driscol had provided, and a similarly plain looking pair of cotton trousers. Callan was so used to seeing the huge man in his armor, it almost seemed as if Gunnarr wasn’t fully dressed without it. But Callan’s reaction to Gunnarr was nothing compared to his reaction to Cass. Cass also descended the stairs sans armor as well, her hair freshly clean and brushed back behind her ears, her skin glowing from the warm water she had soaked in. Her outfit was similar to Gunnarr’s, and Callan wondered if this was what all warriors wore under their armor.

  It wasn’t just her lack of armor that made Callan do a double take; it was how much more feminine Cass looked without it. It wasn’t that she was suddenly stunning, as if wearing new clothes revealed that under the grime and the armor was a goddess of beauty. It was more that she looked softer without the armor, more vulnerable and gentle. Callan wondered if Gunnarr had seen this all along, or if it was the toughness and air of command she normally exuded that attracted him to Cass. When he glanced at the big man, he could see that Gunnarr appreciated this more feminine Cass just as much as the warrior Cass. The huge Braldashad man greeted her with a warm smile.

  “Oh,” Cass said when she saw she was the last to come down, “You shouldn’t have waited for me to sta
rt!”

  The group all dismissed her concerns as food began arriving at the table on large trays. Roast meats, potatoes, greens and bread were spread out before them. Sweet fruit that had been peeled and sliced was placed next and, finally, the serving girls topped off everyone’s ale. The last person to join the group was Ulma, who took the seat at the head of the table, opposite Driscol.

  “What’s everyone waiting for?” Ulma asked. “Dig in while it’s all warm!”

  They all obliged her, talking merrily about how excellent everything at Ulma’s was as they piled food on their plates. For a while as they ate and took turns telling Ulma about their trip so far, or in the case of Cass and Gunnarr, some of their more exciting adventures, even Callan was able to put the dark reason for this quest out of his mind for a while, concentrating instead on the company around him. He even laughed along heartily with the rest of them as Driscol shared some very off-color, adult jokes that made even Cass blush at one point.

  After a while, the main course was taken away and replaced with sweet desserts. Pies and cookies, cakes and candied fruit adorned the table. The group leisurely partook in the feast provided them, eating and talking late into the evening as if the night would never end. Of all of them, Cass seemed the most invested in the evening. She soaked up every detail, pinning it to a place in her mind she would always remember it. She knew what only one other person at the table did, that this may very well be her last meal among such company for a long, long time, so she relished every moment of it, even Inez’s heckling.

  When the desserts were finally taken away, everyone’s ale was refilled again and requests for stories went around the table. Everyone had a chance to share a tale, even Nat, who retold the adventure with the aswang from his point of view, acting out the parts in full pantomime. By the end of his story, everyone at the table was laughing uncontrollably.

  “I missed the best part!” Cass said laughing into her hand. “I would’ve loved to see the look on Gunnarr’s face as he went past you lot, standing in the shadow of your twenty-foot pecker!”

  “It was pretty priceless,” Callan said trying not to choke on his ale.

  The group all managed to catch their breath as Ulma looked across the table at Cass.

  “You know, dear, I’ve seen a tattoo like that once before,” Ulma said indicating the tattoo on Cass’ ear, “but the man who had it never got around to telling me how he got it. Maybe you could give me some insight?”

  Cass fingered the elaborate blue tattoo, her gray eyes twinkling at the memory.

  “That’s a tale I wish I knew all the details of myself,” Cass said as she reached forward to drain another mug of ale, “but I’ll tell you what I do know.”

  They all leaned in a little, even Driscol, though he had heard the story many times before.

  “I was on Xenor. I told you before that there’s really nothing there, and I wasn’t exaggerating. The place is nothing but barren rock. Treacherous rock, too. Its edges are so sharp it can pierce through the toughest boot. Despite it being barren and inhospitable, people still go there all the time though, convinced they’ll find some of the lost treasure of Xenor. I suppose it’s the mystery and myths surrounding the place that draws them in. There’s not even much of Xenor to explore. It’s bigger than the island of Braldashad, but only just. It’s basically just one big rock jutting out of the Desert Sea. I did encounter a man once who claimed that the island only looks empty but it’s a trick. That everything worth finding on Xenor is underground, even, he claimed, the people. I can’t speak to that. The only people I’ve ever met there are the misguided prospectors I’ve been sent there to retrieve by worried family members.

  “Now, I should admit that it’s not completely empty. Years back, some fool of a merchant decided to build a tavern there, complete with a floating dock stretching far out into the sea. He doesn’t get much trade, of course, so he’s had to make do with what he can pull from the Desert Sea. All there is to eat at his tavern is seafood. Fish, crab, the occasional sea urchin. And he makes the second most disgusting ale I’ve ever been unfortunate enough to drink… out of seaweed. Not only is it terrible tasting, but you have to drink a gallon of it just to feel a hint of it kicking in. But since there’s nothing else to do there, you eventually get around to forcing the stuff down.

  “He claims business is good, and that he’s glad he’s set up shop there. I don’t know. Now, I’ve only been to Xenor a half dozen times but every time I’ve been, the tavern’s been empty. I do appreciate the place being there, though. Most of the times I’ve gone to Xenor looking for people, I’ve found them right off, sitting in his tavern, trying their damnedest to get drunk on that seaweed ale. Whenever I go to Xenor, it’s my first stop.

  “Twice though, I didn’t find the people I was looking for at the inn. Once, I was on Xenor for almost two weeks winding my way across that rock before I gave up. I was half starved and thirsty as I had ever been. I was actually looking forward to downing some of that horrible ale by the time I got back to the tavern. I wasn’t sure if it was from the hunger or the thirst, but when I got to the pub I thought I was hallucinating. It was packed full of these short blue men.

  “You know, as a woman you have this kind of sense. When you walk into a room full of men who haven’t been with a lady in a long time, you know it instantly. Ships can be like that, you get on one that is all men, and they look at you like you are this lovely piece of steak, all seared and juicy, ready to be devoured. These little blue men, that’s how they looked at me when I came in. As if I was the first woman they had seen in years. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, even for a warrior. But I knew I had to eat and drink. The captain I’d contracted with to pick me up wasn’t coming for me for a couple more days. I didn’t think I’d make it that long without any food or drink. I was too weak at that point to even consider trying to fish for my own meals, and I had no means to try to capture any rainwater to drink, other than tipping my head back and trying to catch the drops. So I sidled up to the bar and ordered like nothing was odd at all.”

  “When you say little blue men,” Callan asked, “how little are we talking?”

  “About four feet. And, aside from being really short and blue, they looked pretty normal. And they had really pretty blue hair. It kind of shimmered in the lamplight, like they washed it clean with starlight or something. And they were quite manly despite being such tiny men. Very fit little fellows,” Cass said.

  “Blue skin, as in bright blue?” Viola asked.

  “Blue as the deep waters of the bloody ocean. And their eyes were this purple color, very light, like an amethyst. It was pretty unbelievable. And they were wearing clothes made out of material that shimmered like their hair. And the design of it… I’ve never seen anything like it since,” Cass said thinking back.

  “And you just sat there and ate, like nothing was off?” Inez asked skeptically.

  “Well, as I said, I didn’t think I’d last on my own until my ship arrived. All I was really thinking at the moment was water, food, ale, in that order. And I’d already walked in the place. If they meant me harm, well, first, I’d be better able to fend them off with a full belly and my thirst sated. And, if they were determined to do me ill, aside from the tavern there was nowhere else for me to go, and there were a lot of them. I don’t think I could have taken them all on had I been in top shape, I couldn’t very well hide out on the open rock. There was also the fact that despite that feeling I got, they also seemed a little intimidated by me. Perhaps it was my height, or, more likely, my sword. When I’d first come up to the tavern, I’d heard laughing and shouting from inside, but after I came inside, and while I ate, all I heard around me was sullen mumbling, like you might hear from a group of children told to be quiet and go take their nap.

  “I felt bad about that actually. So I hurried through my meal, paid the tavern owner, and left. I figured I’d just lie on the docks, waiting for morning so the little guys could get back to their party. Bu
t just as I was about to leave, one of the little fellows came up to me, bold as you please, and asked me to join him at his table. So I did.

  “I didn’t have anything else to do, and by then I was fed and feeling more confident. We chatted for a while. Mostly I did. He asked me questions about why I was on Xenor, and it came around that I was a warrior. He asked me what that was. I tried to explain it as best I could. A person who lives to do good for others. He didn’t really understand this, said there was nobody like that where he came from. Which, of course, led me to ask him where he came from. But he dodged that question, and would only tell me he came from ‘around.’ Every time I asked him ‘around where?’, he would give me this sly smile and not answer. So it was a fairly one sided conversation. I got a little frustrated with his evasiveness, although he was always polite and maybe even a little charming in his refusal to tell me anything. I was about to leave when he challenged me to a drinking contest.”

  Gunnarr laughed then, as if he got a secret joke no one else did. What he knew was that no one could match drinks with a seasoned warrior.

  “I know,” Cass said turning to Gunnarr, “I was thinking, ‘Now I’ve got him!’ Turns out though, I was wrong. I told the little fellow that I thought I’d lose not because I’d get too drunk, but because I’d need to forfeit. No one could drink that much seaweed ale and live. He laughed and nodded. Then he took this small jewel-encrusted flask out of his pocket.”

  Cass stopped speaking and held up her finger indicating that her companions should wait a moment. She stood and went up to her room. When she came back she was holding a tiny flask. It was gold and covered in gems. The cap was stoppered with what looked like a perfectly smooth red ball. Cass pointed to it.