Torn
Page 6
Demarcus threw the pillow, hitting Zeshawn in the face. Zeshawn got up and hit him in the back of the head with the pillow. They started to have a pillow fight. Demarcus snatched the pillow from Zeshawn causing Zeshawn to fall on top of him.
Zeshawn paused and looked Demarcus square in the eyes.
DEMARCUS
I…I…I haven’t done this with a dude before.
ZESHAWN
That’s ok.
DEMARCUS
I don’t know where to start.
ZESHAWN
Just start.
Demarcus reached up and kissed Zeshawn passionately. They began to slowly undress each other. Demarcus kissed Zeshawn passionately as they exchanged tongues. Their hands explored each others’ bodies.
Zeshawn licked Demarcus' nipples one at a time, first the left then the right. As he sucked on one nipple, he gently squeezed the other. He ran his tongue up and down Demarcus' torso from his neck, his nipples, and his chest to his stomach. Demarcus was in total ecstasy, for he knew that Zeshawn knew what he was doing. He managed to work his hand to Demarcus' mouth and Demarcus proceeded to suck on Zeshawn fingers. Demarcus sucked on Zeshawn's finger hungrily and with a serious passion. While he did that, Zeshawn fingered Demarcus' goatee, getting him, Demarcus, more turned on and making him suck harder, especially when Zeshawn bit down on Demarcus' left nipple and squeeze his right nipple, hard.
Zeshawn glanced up at Demarcus who now stood over him and saw that Demarcus' eyes were closed as Demarcus was concentrating on the feelings and sensations that he was enjoying.
DEMARCUS (whispered)
Wait.
ZESHAWN
What's wrong?
DEMARCUS
Nothing, I want to change positions.
Zeshawn was in heaven.
They rested and wiped each other off, and resumed their passionate night.
Demarcus got up and looked in his travel bag. He grabbed a condom and put it on.
DEMARCUS
I want to take this further.
After they went into the shower and washed each other off, sometimes playfully implying another round. Zeshawn would drop the soap and as he bent over to pick it up, Demarcus would playfully hump Zeshawn.
DEMARCUS
Ohh, more!
ZESHAWN
Don't start something, or we'll go at it again.
After they finished showering, they got in the bed together. Zeshawn believed that he was falling in love with Demarcus.
ZESHAWN
What are you thinking?
DEMARCUS
I think that I am falling for you. Would you consider not having sex with anyone else?
ZESHAWN
Only if you commit to me.
Amazingly, each was able to communicate considering how out of breathe both were from the fire, heat and passion of their lovemaking.
Tuesday, December 18
After the students completed their semester exam for Mr. Wansley, Zeshawn got a text from his mother. She mentioned that he got a letter from the University of Kentucky. He text back telling her to open it. Five minutes later she replied that he was accepted.
He was excited about the message. When the bell rung Zeshawn darted to the gym to tell Demarcus his good news. Demarcus was down in the locker room changing out of his practice clothes. Zeshawn handed him his phone for him to read the text. Demarcus was happy for Zeshawn. He picked him and kissed him hard.
Cameron and some other players walked in and caught them.
CAMERON
Dude, what the hell is going on in here?
Demarcus looked at Cameron and turned back toward Zeshawn. Zeshawn saw a change in Demarcus’ eyes.
DEMARCUS (pushing Zeshawn back in anger)
Man what are you doing?
ZESHAWN
Don’t. Please don’t.
Demarcus started to punch Zeshawn in the face. Blood flew from his nose and mouth.
DEMARCUS
I told you I wasn’t with that gay shit.
Cameron and another player came and pulled Demarcus off of Zeshawn. Zeshawn laid there with blood streaming from his face.
Cameron pulled Demarcus into the coach’s office. Demarcus paced around as though he was upset at Zeshawn for kissing him.
CAMERON
Man, way the hell was you kissing him?
DEMARCUS
He kissed me. He told me earlier this year that he was gay. I told him that he was cool with me as long as he didn’t try anything with me.
CAMERON
I saw you. Your eyes were closed.
DEMARCUS
No they weren’t. Man I am gonna kill that mofo. I don’t play that faggot shit.
CAMERON
Dee, man, calm down.
DEMARCUS
Plus that man went with me to Lexington. I thought that he was cool.
CAMERON
He didn’t try anything then.
DEMARCUS
Naw. We had an understanding. I am into females man.
CAMERON
All I am going to say is if you are that way you still my boy. I can’t get mad with you for what you like.
Demarcus stopped pacing and stared at Cameron.
DEMARCUS
I ain’t no punk!
CAMERON
I didn’t say you were. I am just letting you know where you are with me.
Demarcus pulled out the coach’s chair and sat down. He dropped his head into his hands. He could not believe what just happened. He was caught kissing another dude.
2nd SEMESTER
Monday, January 7
The second semester meant new beginnings for some; a new year, a new schedule, and sometimes new ideas. Demarcus walked around the school in a dazed. Over the Christmas Break, he thought about the wrong he had done to Zeshawn. Passing by the library, Demarcus spotted Zeshawn on the computer. He inhaled deeply and walked over to him.
DEMARCUS
Zeshawn.
Zeshawn turned and saw Demarcus. He quickly closed the program window and grabbed his things to leave.
DEMARCUS (grabbing him by the arm)
No, please don’t go. I want to talk to you.
ZESHAWN
I have got to go to back to class.
DEMARCUS
This is your study period.
ZESHAWN
What do you want?
DEMARCUS
I tried calling you over the break.
ZESHAWN
I changed my number.
DEMARCUS
I know. Keira wouldn’t give it to me. I am sorry for what I did. It’s just that I am not ready to live that life.
ZESHAWN
Did I ask you to?
DEMARCUS
No, but look. I care for you a lot. I just don’t know. This is new to me. I have never been with a guy before. I have thought about it but never built up the nerve to actually do it. Then, being on the football and basketball teams doesn’t make it any better.
ZESHAWN
Demarcus, you are rambling.
DEMARCUS
I think I love you. I remember when I first saw you. I was attracted to you. After all those years, I got you alone…I knew that I had to have you.
Zeshawn tapped his pen on the computer table. He felt the compassion in Demarcus’ voice. But, he could not get out of his head that Demarcus beat him up.
ZESHAWN
I have got to go.
Zeshawn grabbed his things and walked out of the library. Demarcus sat and watched him walk away. He thought that Zeshawn would forgive him and possible start their friendship over.
They bell rang for third block. They walked into Mr. Wansley’s class. Cameron sat in his normal desk behind Demarcus.
CAMERON
What’s up?
Demarcus was in a slump. He spoke to Cameron but it wasn’t their usual greeting.
Mr. Wansley walked into the class and quickly took role. He sat on the edge of his desk and
folded his arms.
MR. WANSLEY
I am hoping that we all had a great break. Now we have got to get down to business, Cameron. (The class laughed)
CAMERON
Mr. Wansley, why you call my name?
MR. WANSLEY
I want to make this nine weeks adventurous. We are going to start today building a portfolio of a black person in history that you admire. You will discuss how you can relate to this person. What are some things that you may talk about?
CAMERON
How long does this portfolio have to be?
MR. WANSLEY
Cameron, I want to be able to see you and this person.
RHONDA
Mr. Wansley, I have a question.
Mr. Wansley gestured for her to ask.
RHONDA
Everyone knows that I am a lesbian. I want to go into politics when I am older. I have been studying the first African-American woman elected to Congress from a southern state, Representative Barbara Jordan, who was a Democrat from Texas. She was known as an outstanding orator and Constitutional scholar. She, too, was a lesbian. Can I do my portfolio on her?
MR. WANSLEY
Sure, if you can find enough information on her and you can relate to her…go for it.
CAMERON
Mr. Wansley, speaking of gays, is there anything wrong with being gay.
MR. WANSLEY
Wow. That was a conversation that I didn’t want to have because I don’t want parents or the board coming to me. Tell me what you guys think.
Demarcus shook his head and scooted down in his desk. Mr. Wansley noticed his actions.
COREY
Personally, by "wrong" I'm assuming you mean morally wrong? It's not morally wrong to have inclinations towards homosexuality or to find yourself attracted to one of the same sex. The moral implications arise when sex enters the picture. Homosexual sex is unnatural and sinful. The Bible is very clear on this subject. But, one must remember to "hate the sin and not the sinner." We shouldn't judge people and we certainly shouldn't persecute anyone.
RHONDA
People do not choose their sexual orientation. LGBT individuals are just as decent, moral and loving as our heterosexual counterparts. What is wrong with that? We would not say there was something wrong with being albino, having green eyes, being born with a genetic disorder, having a serious illness, being male or female. It is just part of who we are. We have to come to accept that.
DAVID
Right. Being gay is something you're born with. If someone insults someone for being gay, it's similar to insulting someone for being black, or having a certain disease from birth. I know A LOT of gay people at this school who would rather be straight so they can conform with our ignorant and unintelligent society. I'd rather just stay the way I am.
RHONDA
Why did you ask that Cameron? Are you struggling with something?
CAMERON
Hell no. Everyone knows that I get much pus…oh, excuse me Mr. Wansley.
Mr. Wansley stopped the conversation and began to pass out the rubric for the portfolio.
EJae knocked on Demarcus’ bedroom door. A faint “come in” he answered. She walked in to find him lying across his bed.
EJAE
What’s wrong? I called you for dinner twenty-five minutes ago.
DEMARCUS
I am not hungry.
EJAE
You are not hungry? I know something is wrong.
DEMARCUS
Ma, I got into a fight before Christmas Break with a friend. Nothing has been right since.
EJAE
Have you two tried talking about it?
DEMARCUS
I tried, but he won’t talk to me.
EJae pulled the chair from his desk and sat down. She propped her fist under her chin.
EJAE
What was the fight about?
DEMARCUS
I don’t want to talk about it.
EJAE
Was it over some girl?
DEMARCUS
No.
EJAE
Money?
DEMARCUS
No. Ma, I can’t talk about it.
EJAE
You know that you can tell me anything.
DEMARCUS
Do you remember Zeshawn? The guy that went with me to Lexington, well that is the one I beat up.
EJae didn’t speak. She patiently waited for Demarcus to continue his story.
DEMARCUS
How do you feel about gay people?
EJAE
You jumped on the boy because he’s gay?
DEMARCUS
No.
EJAE
Well hun, I don’t dislike them. I used to not agree with it, to each his own.
DEMARCUS
Ma…I fought him because he kissed me.
EJAE
Oh. Well did you give him any reason to kiss you?
DEMARCUS
We had sex when we went to UK.
EJAE
Excuse me?
DEMARCUS
Yeah.
EJAE
Did you use protection?
DEMARCUS
Yes.
EJae got up from the chair and pushed it back under the desk. Demarcus rose up from the bed and walked over to her. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled it to his heart.
DEMARCUS
Please don’t be made with me.
EJAE
Have you always had these feelings?
DEMARCUS
I guess. But I never did anything until then. I am so confused right now. I still like girls but I …
EJAE
Hun, the only thing that I am going to tell you is to follow your heart. Pray about it. I love you no less. Remember that.
Demarcus wrapped his arms around EJae and held her tight. She patted him on the back as a tear fell down her face.
Tuesday, January 15
Alexis walked into the gym with a friend girl, Toya. They were laughing and looking in the stands. Toya began to point into the stands and whisper to Alexis. Alexis turned to look and then walked up the step. When she found Cameron she sat down. Cameron was not happy to see her.
ALEXIS
Hey.
CAMERON
Sup.
ALEXIS
Don’t be dry. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you the baby wasn’t yours. But I knew O’Koyea wasn’t going to be able to take care of a baby.
CAMERON
Cool.
ALEXIS
Cam, talk to me.
CAMERON
I don’t have anything to say to you girl. Push!
TOYA
Girl, let’s go.
Alexis got up and walked down the stairs. She and Toya walked around the whole gym. It wasn’t long before they spotted a group of guys and went and sat with them.
Keira saw everything that Alexis just did. She leaned over to Zeshawn.
KEIRA
You see that slut?
ZESHAWN
Don’t call her a slut. A slut has standards. She is a whore. She will sleep with anything.
KEIRA
Boy you are crazy. By the way, have you talked to Demarcus?
ZESHAWN (rolling his eyes)
He tried to talk to me the other day, but I don’t have anything to say to him.
KEIRA
Being with a straight guy is way too emotional and too much baggage.
ZESHAWN
I do like him. And after our time in Lexington I thought that I found that one.
KEIRA
You know that he has to keep up his image.
Zeshawn and Keira continued to watch the game. Demarcus and Rayshon were on the floor. They were playing defense against the opposing team. The other team threw the ball in and Demarcus caught it. He was dribbling the ball down the court. Rayshon got beside him and tripped him. Demarcus lost the ball as he fell.
Demarcus jumped from the floor and pushed
Rayshon in the chest. Rayshon came back with a vengeance. He punched Demarcus in the face. They began to fight on the court. The audience stood up looking. Zeshawn tried to run onto the court but Keira stopped him. The referees pulled them apart. Coach Williams took them to the dressing room.
COACH WILLIAMS
What the hell is wrong with you two? You are on the same damn team. Rayshon, you tripped your own man.
Rayshon looked off.
DEMARCUS
Coach, it’s nothing.
COACH WILLIAMS
The hell you say. NOTHING! You two are my best players. I don’t know what to do. Dr. Jackson is in the stands, you know that she is going to ask me questions about all of this. She may suspend you. You might get kicked off the team. I don’t want to lose either of you. But tonight you are out of the game. Get dressed and go home.
ZESHAWN
I knew that I shouldn’t have told him what Demarcus did.
KEIRA
I am surprised that he waited this long to fight him.
ZESHAWN
I didn’t want him to fight him. Let’s go.
Zeshawn and Keira left the stands.
Moments later, Demarcus and Rayshon came from the dressing room in their regular clothes. Part of the crowd cheered and the other part jeered.
Rayshon and Demarcus left the gym in opposite directions. Rayshon meet Zeshawn and Keira outside.
ZESHAWN
What were you thinking?
RAYSHON
Nobody messes with my brother. I am gonna get him. It ain’t over.
ZESHAWN
I need you to calm down. You know you are probably kicked off the team.
RAYSHON
You think that I care?
KEIRA
Let’s go because Demarcus is parked beside me and I don’t want you guys to get into it again.
RAYSHON
I am going to wait on him and dare him to even look at me.
Zeshawn pulled Rayshon by the shirt. He didn’t want his brother to get into any more trouble than he already was.
Wednesday, January 23
Zeshawn was sitting in the park at a table. Demarcus walked over with shades on. He tried to shake Zeshawn’s hand. Zeshawn gestured for him to sit.
DEMARCUS
I can’t get a handshake?
ZESHAWN
Why did you call me here?
DEMARCUS
You don’t talk to me at school. You won’t answer my phone calls. Your brother doesn’t want me around you.