Disruptor

by Sonya Clark

  Kevin took her hand in his and brought it to his throat. “I’m fine. No harm done.”

  His pulse beat strong beneath her fingers, his skin warm. She blinked away tears. “I shouldn’t be here. If I don’t kill you by accident, the people looking for me will kill you.”

  He moved closer, his hands on her shoulders, eyes boring into hers. “If you tell me you have someone else out there who can help you, somewhere else you can go and be safe. If you swear to me it’s the truth.” He brushed a tangle of hair from her face. “Then I’ll help you pack.”

  Dani wanted to lie. Needed to lie. For his safety and her conscience. But her throat was clogged with tears and some shameful, weak part of her was so damned tired of being on her own. Tired of hiding. Tired of pretending.

  “But if there’s no one else, you should stay here. I want you to stay here with me, Dani.” He cupped her face. “Do you hear me? Stay with me.”

  Kevin must have been out of his mind, being willing to be so close to her, touch her, after she’d nearly strangled him. He should have been terrified to have her in his home, but instead he wanted her to stay. No way would she do it.

  Pack a bag. Thank him for his help. Get back on the streets and somehow find a way out of town. Do it your damn self, you weak piece of shit.

  He whispered her name and took her in his arms. She could have easily pushed him away, even hurt him to make a point. Instead she froze. He held her gently, murmuring wordless sounds of comfort. How long they stood there, she had no idea. Gradually, against her better judgment, she relaxed into his embrace. When the tears finally broke free and she buckled under their weight, he caught her and carried her to the bed. Held her in arms that had their own natural strength. Cradled her against the wall of his chest and rocked her until finally the only voice she could hear was his.

  The next time she woke up, the space next to her in the bed was still warm from his presence. Sunlight streamed around the edges of the blinds. Her eyes were puffy and raw from crying and hunger gnawed at her stomach.

  At least she wasn’t screaming this time. That used to be common. Dani sat up and drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. Plenty of people on the streets found safety in numbers, especially at night. They slept in shelters or in abandoned buildings with others nearby. Dani had never liked that. It didn’t make her feel safe, especially when her nightmares provoked questions. She was a lot less afraid of risking attack now, after the lab, than she had been when she was first on the streets.

  Now, shivering from the night’s aftershocks, loneliness pushed her out of the bed. She wanted company, something to ward off the darkness and the lingering echo of the voice from her dreams. It never stayed quiet long, but then, she didn’t deserve it’s silence.

  She didn’t deserve the care and comfort offered by the man who’d held her while she cried last night, either. Blasted open emotionally, still suffering physically from her time on the streets plus all the fights, Dani just wasn’t strong enough yet to walk away like she needed to. She would let herself recover here, accept some of Kevin’s help within reason, and then leave as soon as she felt strong enough.

  Torn between acute embarrassment over last night’s breakdown and the overwhelming need for food, Dani put off facing him by taking a shower and getting dressed. A faint whiff of bacon reached her and she said to hell with it, wrapped a towel around her wet hair, and went downstairs.

  She came to a halt at the kitchen doorway. Bright sunlight filled the room. Kevin adroitly juggled the cooking of eggs on the stove and bacon in the microwave. A breakfast nook in one corner held a carafe of orange juice, along with glasses and silverware. The kitchen was just as upscale as everything else in the apartment, but also both functional and lived-in. For the first time she wondered about the lack of servants.

  Mostly, though, she watched Kevin. A white t-shirt was molded to his chest, showing every dip and curve of muscle on his lean, cut physique. Jeans hugged his hips and thighs, showing off his rear to great effect. She took a good long look at the arms that had held her last night. Defined muscle, crisp golden hair, beautifully formed hands with long, elegant fingers. A tattoo peeked out beneath the sleeve on his right arm. She wanted to trace its lines with a fingertip, push the cloth up to examine the design.

  Maybe she should have taken a cold shower. Dani shook her head, shocked at the direction of her thoughts.

  “Good morning.” Kevin pointed at the breakfast nook then opened a cabinet and withdrew two plates. “Have a seat, the food’s ready.”

  So he’d known she was standing there. Ogling him. No, there was no way he knew that. He might have been alerted to her presence by some tiny sound, but he hadn’t turned around and seen the look on her face, the interest that no doubt had shown in her eyes.

  She slipped into the nook and poured orange juice in both glasses. He brought a plate laden with bacon and eggs, placed it on the table in front of her, holding on to the edge a beat too long. She looked up at him, a thank you on her lips.

  His mouth curved into a slow, sexy smile and he winked.

  Oh shit. So he had some kind of sixth sense about when he was being ogled. Dani dropped her gaze to the food, willing herself not to blush.

  “What would you like on your toast?”

  She risked a glance, relieved that his smile had dimmed to something approaching normal. “Whatever. I’m not that picky when it comes to food.”

  He sipped his orange juice. “I’m really good at breakfast and brunch. The other meals, not so much.”

  Dani tucked into her food while he finished up. When he finally sat he brought two plates, one his and the other stacked with buttered toast. They ate in silence for several minutes.

  “I talked to my friend. She’ll be in touch about the new identity. We need to provide her with a photo and the name and details you want to use.”

  Dani was only mildly surprised he had a contact who could make that happen. “I don’t have a way to pay for it,” she said hesitantly.

  “You saved my life, remember? That’s payment enough.”

  “How long will it take?”

  “She didn’t say. Not long.”

  “I need to leave as soon as possible.”

  He picked up a piece of toast and offered it to her. She took it, frowning.

  “I know,” he said. “Actually, there is another way you could pay me back for all this.”

  Dani tensed. Just because she’d ogled him didn’t mean she’d agree to any kind of sexual payment. If he suggested it…it would hurt, bad, and destroy her estimation of him. Plus she’d probably break his handsome face.

  His blue eyes took on an intensity she’d only seem once or twice in him so far. “Tell me how.”

  No explanation was necessary. He wanted to know how she’d fought off his attackers, and survived taking on a house full of Russian gangsters. In the months since her escape, she’d never once been tempted to tell anyone the truth. It was dangerous knowledge, not to mention damned near unbelievable.

  But she found herself tempted to tell Kevin. Despite the danger and the risk that he wouldn’t believe her, and the fear that confiding in someone only appealed to her out of weakness. The idea of someone else knowing the truth, not just the truth of what was done to her but the truth of what it had made her – it begged the question, could he accept it?

  Could he accept her?

  If he knew it all, would he still look at her like she was a human being?

  It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take. “No.”

  Chapter 12

  They’d moved to the living room. Kevin sank into the couch, his busted ribs sore from Dani’s rough wake-up from a nightmare last night. He didn’t want to tell her that, though. She may have been physically strong, unnaturally so, but emotionally she was fragile and he didn’t want to do anything that might make it worse. He’d told her he wanted her to stay so she could have time to heal after being in fights, and that was true.
Her spirit needed healing, too, though, and he didn’t know how to help her with that.

  Dani unwound the towel from her hair and left it on a barstool. Even with damp, uncombed hair, no makeup, and wearing a plain t-shirt and pants, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her tawny skin suggested a blended racial heritage, as did the slight narrowing at the corners of her dark topaz eyes. She ran her hands through her long mane of night black hair in an effort to tame it. Kevin sucked in a breath, remembering the silky feel of that hair last night when he’d held her. She’d been so vulnerable, crying in his arms. All he’d wanted to do was take care of her. Not take advantage of her. And he wouldn’t do that now, either.

  It was clear Dani needed a friend, not some hound dog lusting after her. Even though he was pretty sure she’d been checking him out earlier, and damn, hadn’t that felt good.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have made it sound like I would only help if you told me your secrets. That was shitty.”

  “I didn’t think you meant it that way.” She sat on the floor with her back to the wall, between a book case and Blue in Green, the painting she’d admired yesterday. “I do think you understand that it’s better if you don’t know anything about me.”

  “I know a few things. You’ve been on the streets for at least a few months. You’re on the run. You rush headlong into danger when you hear someone scream for help.”

  “That sounds dramatic.”

  “Believe me, when you’re the one screaming for help, it is fucking dramatic.”

  She cast her gaze to the floor.

  “You don’t want to tell me how. Okay. Will you tell me why?”

  Shadows darkened her brown eyes to black.

  “There’s got to be a reason for why you risk your life like that for total strangers. I’d just like to know what it is.”

  Dani met his gaze, an unexpected hardness etched in her features. “Why? What difference does it make?”

  Kevin raised his hands in frustration. She didn’t owe him any explanations, he knew that. So why did he keep pushing? It wasn’t like him. None of his reactions to her were normal for him.

  Okay, inviting a beautiful woman into his home, that was totally like him. But this level of curiosity and concern was new. It wasn’t that he was an insensitive jerk, not exactly, but he was very good at finding temporary partners who were also only looking for something short term. Women who weren’t looking for a commitment any more than he was, who liked to have a good time and leave it at that.

  Not that he was looking for even that much from Dani. He didn’t know what he wanted with her, why he wanted to know her secrets. It wasn’t to expose her, that was for damn sure.

  Maybe it was as simple as having a crush on the woman who’d saved his life.

  “Forget it,” he said. “Just because I’m curious doesn’t mean you owe me any explanations.”

  “Yeah, and just because I helped you doesn’t mean you should blow it out of proportion.”

  “I’m hardly the only person you’ve helped.”

  She gave him a look that raised the hair on the back of his neck. “What do you mean by that?”

  If she was on the run, she wasn’t going to take this well. But if she was really in danger, she needed to know. “People in Cabrini have been talking about you. That a person in dark clothes, a hoodie hiding their face, sometimes shows up to help people. A scream for help, and then you’re there.”

  Dani pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “You heard that working in the shelter’s kitchen?”

  “Yeah, but not just there.” Kevin sat up and retrieved a tablet from the coffee table. “From local social media.” He woke the tablet and tapped the icon for his Twitter app. “You’re a hashtag, Dani.”

  She screwed up her face in confusion. “The hell does that mean?”

  He thought about that for a moment. “You used my phone to access the internet. Did you ever check Twitter or any other social network?”

  “No.” She looked away.

  “But you know what they are, right?”

  “Yeah. Sort of. I haven’t exactly had access to that kind of thing.”

  Kevin laughed. “What, have you been in a hole in the ground for years?”

  With an almost unnatural speed and grace, Dani rose and stalked to the sofa. Brown eyes gone black with anger, she snatched the tablet from his hands and glared at the screen. Kevin sank back into the cushions, slightly unnerved by how downright frightening she could be at times.

  A column in the app was devoted to following the hashtag #CabriniGhost. Dani scrolled through the tweets, her anger transforming to horror. “This is…this is public? Anybody can read this stuff?”

  Kevin nodded. “It’s also searchable.”

  A sharp intake of breath. The tablet shook in her hand. “So if somebody was looking for anything unusual in this general area…”

  He stood then took the tablet from her. “Sooner or later, they’ll find out about the Cabrini Ghost.”

  “I’m not a ghost.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “I’m not…” Her hands fluttered in the air like nervous birds unable to take flight. “I’m still a person. They didn’t take that away from me. I didn’t let them.”

  Kevin took her hands in his. She held on tight, as if needing an anchor. If that’s what she needed, that’s what he would be. He pushed away his own shock at the thought and gently pulled her into an embrace. Adding to his surprise, she didn’t resist.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t think to tell you sooner.” He spoke just above a whisper as he stroked her hair. “My head’s been kind of foggy lately, to tell the truth.”

  “I have to get out of Point Sable.”

  A pain hit him deep in his chest that had nothing to do with broken ribs. “I know. We’ll have your new identity soon. I promise.”

  She pulled away. “It may not be safe for me to wait. The people looking for me, the stuff about the Ghost will be a giant red flag for them. As soon as they come across that, they’ll know I’m here.”

  “They’ll know you’re in Point Sable but that’s it. And they’ll be looking in Cabrini, not a downtown penthouse. You’re safer here, and you’re better off waiting for the ID.”

  Dani stepped away, arms wrapped around her midsection. “It needs to be soon.”

  “I’ll call my friend, set up a meeting for when she gets off work. In the meantime, we’ll work on the stuff she needs. I’ll take a picture of you. You can sit down and figure out a name and all the other details.” Kevin shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans to keep from reaching for her again. She was leaving. He didn’t need to get used to touching her. Plus he was too damn old for a stupid crush. The very thought of it was absurd.

  He wouldn’t miss her. Not at all.

  “You said your head’s been foggy. Did you get a concussion that night?”

  He held up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “Just a little one. I’m fine. Just…I don’t know. Not quite myself.”

  “You never had anything like that happen before?”

  “No.”

  “It can mess you up for a while.”

  The sound of their laughter as the gangbangers kicked him still echoed in his head far too often than he’d ever admit to anyone. Waking up drenched in sweat, on the verge of a shout. The nauseating terror he’d felt at being back at the shelter. Yeah, it had messed him up, but he would deal with it.

  Dani offered no advice or words of comfort. “I’ll think about a name.” She left the room and slowly climbed the stairs. Huddled into herself as if she wanted to make herself as small as possible. Clearly she had some shit of her own to deal with. Kevin stood there for several minutes, debating whether to follow her up the stairs. See if he could get her to talk. Ultimately he abandoned the idea and settled in with his laptop.

  Chapter 13

  The light looked different from the huge windows in Kevin’s guest roo
m. Whether it was the height or the part of town, Dani didn’t know. Street level Cabrini was so dirty even the sunlight had an unpleasant cast to it. Here in a downtown penthouse, the world looked bright and clean and full of things she knew about in theory but had no experience with. She pulled a chair next to the window and stared out for hours. Puffy white clouds scudded across the crisp blue sky. Sunlight played off the glass towers. She would like to have seen the lake but his place had no view of that side of the city. Big jumbo jets passed on their way to and from the Point Sable airport. The only helicopters she could make out were from news stations and hospitals. This side of town must have been too nice for police choppers.

  Off and on she napped in the chair. Mostly she watched the skyline. The sun sank behind the glass towers, the vivid blue of the sky darkening to twilight. Restlessness pushed Dani to her feet. She moved through a series of stretches then dropped to the floor to do sit-ups and push-ups. She was ninety seconds into a plank when a knock sounded from the door.

  “Come in.” She rolled to a sitting position, her back to the bed.

  Kevin entered the room as if scared of what he’d find there. Dressed in a light gray suit and white shirt with no tie, contacts instead of glasses, his dark gold hair smoothed back from his forehead, he looked ready for a date. Dani narrowed her eyes, a knot of tension forming in the back of her cheek.

  Not her business.

  “I need to leave soon to make the appointment with my friend. Did you decide on a name and other details?” He held out a pen and small notepad.

  Only one name had occurred to her. She got to her feet and stood in front of him, grabbed the pen and pad a little rougher than necessary. Last minute hesitation had her holding the pen poised over the paper. She took a deep breath, her nose filling with bergamot and rose and maybe musk. She glanced at Kevin, keeping her gaze only as high as his stubble. So it was cologne, not aftershave.

  She wrote hurriedly and shoved the pen and notepad at him then returned to the chair by the window. “How long will it take?”