by Katie Knight
“I ate a bowl of cocoa puffs with chocolate milk.”
“Did you really?”
Hanna rolled onto her side so now she was the one propped up on an elbow. “You’ll never know.”
“Well, if that’s your usual breakfast, I hope you never spend the night at my place,” Jake said. “Because you will be sorely disappointed by my pantry in the morning.”
“More protein bars?”
“More protein bars.”
“When did you start getting so into fitness?” Hanna asked.
“Probably when I joined the Navy.” Jake said. “You really learn what your body is capable of during basic training. And pushing it to the limit gets kind of addicting. Plus, fitness adds a lot of structure to life, you know? Working out every day, eating right. I like the routineness of it all.”
“Really?” Hanna sounded surprised. “I would have thought you hated sticking to a schedule.”
“Nah, I love it. I deal with enough chaos at work. So whenever I’m not working, I like to live by a certain set of rules. Rules that are specifically designed to control chaos—or at least manage it so that it doesn’t control you, instead.”
“So what would it take to get you to break one of your rules?”
You, Jake wanted to say. If he’d had one more beer, he probably would have, too. Instead, though, he just shrugged. “Depends on the rule.”
“Maybe there’s a universal rule among you guys,” she joked. “No dating Hanna Masterson. That would explain it.”
Jake laughed. “What do you mean?”
Her tone turned serious. “Just that I sometimes wonder if there is a man out there for me. Because I feel like I should be a catch, but no one else seems to think so.”
“You are a catch.” Jake rolled over and propped up onto his elbow, too, so they were facing each other. “I wasn’t lying when I said you were smart and beautiful.”
Hanna didn’t seem to believe him. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “We’re on a date. That means you have to say all those things,” she said. “And I’m sure you have to other girls you’ve taken out. Many times.”
Jake shook his head. “I haven’t, actually. I’ve never told a girl she was beautiful.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He shifted closer to her, until they were just inches apart, and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Surely, she had to know how beautiful she was. But if she didn’t, he was determined to show her.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her words barely more than a whisper.
He took her face in his hands. “I’m breaking one of my rules.”
Then he kissed her. It was soft at first, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back for long. A low moan escaped her lips, letting him know she wanted it just as much as he did. He took that as his cue. Without stopping the kiss, his hands found her waist, and he pulled her on top of him as he rolled onto his back.
Hanna kissed him back fiercely. Stopping to catch her breath for only a moment, she tugged off the sweatshirt frantically before resuming the kiss. As Jake reached up to undo the zipper of her dress, she buried her face in his neck.
When he got the zipper down far enough, she slipped her arms out and kicked off the rest. Now she was laying on top of him in nothing but a bra and panties. He knew he had to catch up, so he started unknotting his tie while she tackled the buttons on his shirt. Neither could finish fast enough.
After Jake pulled off his shirt and tie, Hanna leaned down to kiss him some more. While they made out fervently, he reached behind her and undid her bra with one hand. When she pressed her bare breasts against his chest, he felt a throbbing in his member. He no longer wanted her. He needed her.
Right now.
“Hop off for a sec,” he grunted as he reached down to undo his belt.
Hanna obliged and took the initiative to peel off her own panties before lying naked under the blanket beside him. As soon as Jake had kicked off his pants and boxers, he climbed on top of her. Nothing but skin on skin. He kissed her forcefully, pressing his rock-hard member against her leg.
“I w-want you,” Hanna stammered, the words muffled by his own lips against hers.
“What do you want?” he asked as he kissed her neck.
“I want you inside me.”
Jake reached down and gently spread her legs so he could kneel between them. Then he took his cock in one hand and started rubbing its tip against her crease.
“My god,” he murmured. “You’re so wet already.”
He rubbed the tip of his length up and down her wetness slowly, wanting and waiting for her to beg. With his free hand, he reached for his pants. He was certain he’d slipped a few condoms in them before leaving for the auction. But the pockets were empty.
“Damn,” he said, the tip of his rock-hard cock still poised at Hanna’s perfectly pink and inviting entrance.
“What is it?”
“I can’t find a condom.”
“That’s okay,” Hanna said in a breathy voice. She was started to writhe underneath it. “We’re fine.”
Jake tossed his pants aside and started teasing her by circling the head of his throbbing member around the inner edge of her crease.
“I want you inside me,” she pleaded. This time her voice was strained with longing. “Please.” Before Jake could tease her any more, she reached her legs around his hips, pulling him down toward her. He had nowhere to go but in—the one place he wanted most to be.
Hanna gasped as Jake filled her, as if it were everything she had been longing for—and somehow so much more.
“Oh Jake,” she panted as soon as he started thrusting.
Jake wanted it to last, but she felt so damn good. He pushed inside her, every pulse more powerful than the last, until they were both sweating despite the cool night air.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “Where do you want… where should I…” He was approaching the point of no return and couldn’t put together a coherent sentence, but Hanna knew what he was asking.
“I want you to come inside me,” she panted.
That was all Jake needed to hear.
With one final thrust, he pushed deep inside her, and they both surrendered to the moment.
Five
Jake yawned and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t have to check his phone to know he’d already missed the best time of day for running on the beach. After last night, though, who could blame him for sleeping in?
He and Hanna had passed out under the stars. She had fallen asleep on his chest, and she’d looked so perfect in the moonlight that he hadn’t wanted to disturb her. So he’d drifted off to sleep, too, and neither had woken until the sun had already started to rise.
They didn’t say much on the ride back to the hotel, where Hanna picked up her car. And Jake hadn’t thought about much of anything on the drive back to his house, either, still sleep-fogged and dazed by the passionate experience they’d shared. Now that he was sufficiently rested, though, his brain started analyzing the situation, and he came to a single, simple conclusion: Last night had been a mistake.
Having a one-night stand with your friend’s little sister was probably one of the worst things you could do. Especially if you were the one tasked to look after her. Surprisingly, though, it wasn’t his violation of the bro code that made Jake so uneasy.
What Jake found so troubling was the fact that he wanted their date to be more than a one-night stand. He had thought sleeping with Hanna would provide the closure he needed to move on. To stop the constant longing that had been in the back of his mind since their “almost kiss” nearly five years ago. But all it had done was strengthen the fire inside him that burned for her.
In other words, he wanted to see Hanna again.
And that was not an option.
Jake tried to brush aside all thoughts of Hanna’s supple breasts and smooth skin as he made his morning shake: Greek yogurt, frozen bananas, chocolate soy milk, peanut butter, and hemp protein. When
he poured the chocolate soy milk, though, he remembered her story about eating cocoa puffs for breakfast. Jake realized that when the most mundane things remind you of someone—and the memory makes you smile—you’re probably experiencing more than just a fling.
He couldn’t date Hanna, though. He couldn’t date anyone. Not as long as he was a SEAL and remained responsible for protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. In his line of work, distractions equaled death. He’d seen it firsthand. And there was no way he was going to let anything—or anyone—throw him off his game.
After Jake finished his smoothie, he hopped in the shower. He was determined to slough off the memories of last night and then carry on as if nothing had happened. And that meant sticking to his routine, even though he was starting his day a few hours later than usual. When he got out of the shower, he toweled off and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt.
Since Jake wasn’t used to going to the gym so late in the day, the parking lot seemed more crowded than normal. The thought that he was going to have to wait for machines put him in a bad mood. As he was walking in, though, his spirits lifted a bit as he spotted a buddy’s car.
Jake usually preferred to work out alone, but he realized he could use some advice after last night. The shower had not helped him shrug off all thoughts of Hanna. If anything, it’d made things worse. He’d found himself wondering what she’d look like all sudsy and wet… what she’d feel like, pressed up against his chest… what she might sound like as he thrust inside her under the hot stream of water…
Jake shook his head and tried to forget about Hanna, at least for the time being. He needed to focus on his workout if he wanted it to count. Fortunately, he found Hunter in the weight room.
“Hey, man,” Jake said. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Hendrix!” Hunter said, grinning as he added more plates to his bar. “I never see you here this late. Wild party last night?”
“More like a bachelor auction for charity.”
“Say what now?”
“Brody.” Jake didn’t need to elaborate. All the guys were familiar with Natalie’s many causes.
“Ah.” Hunter nodded. “How’d you get roped into that one?”
“Brody helped out a buddy of mine,” he said. “I owed him one.”
“So you agreed to be auctioned off?”
“Actually, no. I was the one doing the bidding.”
Hunter’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you bid on a date.” He glanced around the weight room as if addressing an audience. “History in the making right here, folks,” he said. “Jake Hendrix can no longer get a date on charm alone.”
Jake shook his head. “Try ‘Jake Hendrix had to save a damsel from some creeps.’”
“Why would creeps go to expensive benefits when they could just go to a strip club?” Hunter asked as he slipped on his lifting gloves. “Did she really need to be saved? Or is there a chance you just like this chick and ‘rescuing’ her was only your excuse?”
“That’s what I’m not so sure about,” Jake said. “But it’s complicated. You know Tyler Masterson?”
“Masterson? Yeah. Our paths have crossed a couple times.”
“It’s his little sister.”
“Whoa.” Hunter motioned toward the bench. “Spot me while you tell me the rest?”
Jake nodded, and Hunter lay down on the bench under the bar.
“You should have heard the guys in the audience,” Jake said as he spotted Hunter. “The way they were talking about all the bachelorettes was just foul. So when they started bidding on Masterson’s sister, I felt like I had to step in.”
Hunter grunted, and Jake took that to mean he should continue.
“So I won the date with her and we ended up leaving the auction together. And I’m not gonna lie, I had a great time. She’s a lot of fun. Sexy as hell. Smart, too.”
Hunter finished his set with a groan. “So what’s the problem, man?”
“Honestly?” Jake asked. “She’s the first girl I’ve ever been with that I could see myself spending more than a night with. But dating her would be way too complicated. So I guess I just feel like there’s some unfinished business. How do I forget about her?”
“Wait.” Hunter held up a hand. “Let me get this straight. You had an amazing night with an amazing girl, and you’re asking me how to move on from it?” He shook his head. “I don’t get you, man. What’s so complicated about it? Why can’t you see where it goes?”
“My job is my life. And I can’t afford to get distracted. It’s just not worth it.”
“So you think all the other SEALs who are in relationships aren’t operating at their full capacity? You don’t think it’s possible to compartmentalize?”
Jake shrugged. “Maybe for them, but not for me. I also don’t think it’d be fair to her. I mean, she already has to deal with her brother being gone a lot. She doesn’t deserve the hassle of having a partner in the same situation—not just military, but spec ops, too.”
“It takes some adjusting to, sure, but it’s really not that hard.” Hunter grabbed the bar, but before he started his next set, he added, “Look at me and Lainey. We’ve been making it work for over a year.”
“It’s different for you,” Jake said as he spotted Hunter. He didn’t know why it was different, though, so he had nothing to add. And Hunter called him on it.
“Is it really, though?” Hunter finished the set and sat up. “I was a bachelor just like you before meeting Lainey. Come on, you remember when we used to go out together, bringing back different girls every night.”
“That’s true,” Jake admitted. “You were probably more of a dog back then than I am now.”
Hunter nodded as he stood up. “And I can honestly say I’ve never been happier than I am with Lainey.” He started unloading the plates. “So maybe you should keep an open mind, too.”
“I’ll think about it,” Jake said, though he wasn’t convinced. He had been hoping Hunter would remind him that what he had shared with Hanna was just another one-night stand, not encourage him to pursue her in search of something serious.
Hunter put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Look, man,” he said. “Just be open to the idea of change. You don’t have to commit to her for the rest of your life or even ask her out right away. Just be open to letting the wind take you where it may. Relinquish control once in a while, and break some of your own rules.”
Jake laughed. The guys loved ribbing on him for sticking to such strict routines. He knew they were just giving him a hard time—he ribbed on them in return for their own quirky habits—but maybe just this once, Hunter had a point.
“All right, man,” Hunter said, looking at his watch. “I’m heading out. Want me to spot you on anything before I go?”
Jake shook his head. “All good. See you later.” After Hunter left, he headed to the room with all the cardio machines. He liked to start every workout by rowing for about fifteen minutes.
After finishing his warm-up, Jake headed back to the weight room. He was having a hard time focusing on his reps, though, and more than once he had to repeat a set because he lost track of how many he had done. Just as he was about to call it a day—he wasn’t in the right headspace to give it his all, and he’d always believed a bad workout was worse than no workout at all—his phone rang.
Jake glanced down to see that it was Hanna. They had exchanged numbers when he’d dropped her off at the hotel this morning, but he certainly hadn’t expected her to call so soon. Or at all. He considered letting it go to voicemail but realized he still had an obligation to look out for her for Tyler. What if she was calling because something was wrong?
“Hello?”
“Morning, sunshine,” Hanna said. He could hear the smile in her voice, and his heart warmed as memories of last night flooded his brain.
“What’s up?” Jake asked, trying to play it cool.
“I’m exhausted. Figured you must be, too, after last night.”
“Yeah, we didn’t get much sleep, did we? Are you just waking up?”
“Maybe.”
Jake laughed. “And did you pour yourself a big bowl of cocoa puffs?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, what are you up to today?”
“Packing, actually. I leave for Japan tomorrow.”
“For a conference?”
“Yeah,” Hanna said. “In Tokyo. I’ll be gone for three weeks. If you haven’t forgotten about me by the time I get back, maybe we can do something.”
Although Jake wanted to jump at the offer, he knew in situations like this, it was best to quit while you were ahead. Clearly there was a connection between them, and if they spent any more time together, it was only going to grow stronger. He was already disappointed that he wasn’t going to see her for at least three weeks. And with his job, there would undoubtedly be stretches a lot longer than that in which they had no contact at all. She didn’t deserve that. Especially since she already had to cope with her brother deploying regularly. She shouldn’t have to spend that kind of time away from her partner, too—especially when he knew she was looking to start a serious, committed relationship. Something he definitely wasn’t ready for. Maybe he’d be willing to follow Hunter’s advice and try something casual, see where it went, if it was anyone other than Hanna. But he couldn’t play with her emotions like that. Not when he knew what she truly wanted, and how much she deserved.
The simple fact of the matter was he couldn’t give Hanna what she was seeking. At least not at this point in his life. He wasn’t ready to hang up his dog tags, and as long as he was a SEAL—as long as he was giving his all to the Navy—he couldn’t give himself fully to anyone else. And he knew he had to tell her sooner rather than later, so her own feelings for him didn’t grow any stronger.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Jake finally said. “Last night was fun, don’t get me wrong. And I’ll always be here if you need anything while Tyler’s gone. But I don’t know that we should start anything. You know, romantically.”
He heard Hanna sigh on the other end of the line. “I get it,” she said. “I don’t know what I was expecting.”
