Shiftr_Swipe Left for Love_Connor & Lauren

by Ariana Hawkes

  Connor sighed. “He’s come to give me news about my father, who’s gone mad and been incarcerated in a psychiatric unit. Apparently, it’s been coming on for a long time, lots of erratic, violent behavior. Then, when he tried to attack a human female, Frankie had to have him taken away.”

  “That’s awful,” Lauren said, reeling from the double shock. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s the best place for him now. He’ll be safe there,” Frankie said. “He was one step away from being put down by the local shifter council.”

  “Do you know who Frankie is to me?” Lauren said to Connor.

  Connor hesitated, then nodded. “I had my suspicions.”

  “But you said nothing? After all we shared?”

  Connor let off a rumbling groan. “I didn’t know for sure. I was hoping like hell that it was a coincidence. I kept thinking the chances of you dating both my brother and me had to be tiny.”

  Lauren’s throat tightened, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. “But as we got closer, didn’t you think you needed to find out for sure?”

  Connor nodded. “Everything happened so fast. I know I should’ve asked for the name of the guy who hurt you, but—”

  “Yes, you should’ve asked. As soon as you realized you liked me!” Her anger blazed. “I’ve even been thinking it was just bad luck I got cheated on when I was a teen, and you have this paranoia about being a cheater. But your own brother! Connor, that was something to mention to me before I broke the rules that have kept me safe my whole adult life and had sex with you! I can’t believe you. After everything I’ve told you about myself. How messed up I’ve been. It’s as bad as lying, and you’re not the man I thought you were!” She was bawling now, but she didn’t care. She spun around, clapping her hand over her mouth, and charged back along the pathway to her car.

  “Lauren, I would never—” Connor began. But she was already out of earshot.

  Connor watched her go, hurt ripping into his heart like a knife’s blade. His bear urged him to go after her, hold onto her, and explain until she believed him. But her words cut into his soul. He wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. She was right. It had taken her a lot to overcome her mistrust of him. And look what he’d done now?

  “I’m sorry, bro,” Frankie said quietly.

  Connor shot him a furious look, but when the younger bear quaked in fear, he reined himself in. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “It’s this rotten family. It’s almost like Dad knew something was finally going well for me and he staged this shit to ruin everything. The apple never falls far from the tree. Jesus.” Connor stared up at the soft, early evening sky and roared, wishing it would come crashing down on him.

  “Dad’s a persuasive character,” Frankie said cautiously.

  “You’ve done well to deal with him all these years.”

  Frankie shrugged. “I never had it as bad as you did. I never saw mom broken-hearted over his cheating like you did.”

  Connor shook his head violently. “I’ve lived like a monk. Never trusting myself with a woman.”

  “You’ve never cheated on Lauren?”

  “Hell no. I never would.”

  “Then go after her. What are you waiting for?”

  Connor was already heading for his truck. He jumped in and tore off, hoping he’d catch up with her and persuade her to stop.

  He had no such luck. The traffic was heavy, and by the time he arrived at her apartment, she was already there, on the point of closing the front door.

  “Lauren! Wait…please!” he yelled.

  She turned, her face ashen and her eyes brimming with tears. She wiped at them savagely.

  “You know what you’ve done,” she spat. “I never would’ve mated with you if I knew I’d already dated your brother. Your cheating brother. You’ve lied to me, and that proves you’re no better than any of them.”

  He groaned. “It was a lie of omission. I didn’t know for sure. A lot of people must get cheated on by their high school sweethearts. And I was deeply ashamed at the thought that my own brother had hurt you.”

  “So you didn’t make the effort to find out? You just hoped it wouldn’t come up?”

  “It wasn’t like that. Things started to happen so fast between us. There wasn’t time—”

  “Connor, just go. Please. I need to be alone right now.”

  “Okay.” With a deep reluctance, he took a step back and she closed the door. He stood, listening to her footsteps as she climbed the stairs. Then he went back to his truck on slow, dragging feet.

  Connor drove around aimlessly for a few hours, his brain churning with a mixture of self-accusations and fury toward his father.

  Frankie hadn’t moved from his spot at the top of the porch stairs when Connor finally got back to the cabins. He was staring into his beer as if oblivious to the world around him, but he lifted his head as Connor approached, hope flickering in his eyes. “Did she listen to you?”

  Connor let off a groan of pain. “She heard my words, but she didn’t want to take them on board. She hates me. Hates the fact we mated yesterday.” He planted himself in front of Frankie, fists bunched, glaring at him. “Why did you have to cheat on her at the prom? It’s screwed up her entire life. You know that?”

  Frankie’s body was strained with tension, but he held his ground. “Connor, if you want to beat the hell out of me right now, I wouldn’t blame you. But just so you know, I’m not going to fight back. I’ve never stopped feeling bad about what happened.”

  Connor glared at him some more, then with a rumble of resignation, he grabbed another beer from the broken bucket and sat down.

  “I was young and stupid,” Frankie said. “And Dad pushed me to do it. He asked why I wasn’t taking Lauren to the prom, and when I explained, he said, ‘She’s not worth waiting for. She’ll only let you down. Go sow your wild oats, son. The sooner you accept our nature, the better.’ I didn’t want to, but he kept goading me, telling me I wasn’t a man if I didn’t mate lots of women.”

  Connor ground his teeth, and his claws ripped through the fabric of his jeans. “I should’ve known.”

  “Believe me, it screwed me up bad. I don’t have a mate either. I’ve never wanted to hurt another woman again.”

  Connor gave his brother a long look. “I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault,” he said, and as he spoke the words, some of the weight lifted from him.

  “That means a lot, bro.”

  “I just wish we didn’t have our messed-up family line. Who the hell mated with a wolverine anyway?”

  Frankie sighed. “I’m pretty sure it’s bullshit. Whenever I’ve asked Dad about the details of our ancestry, he gets all defensive. I’ve long thought it’s just his way of explaining his bad behavior.”

  “You really think that?”

  “Have you spent your life cheating on women?”

  “Nope.”

  “Neither have I. If the instinct is as strong as Dad says it was, surely we wouldn’t have been able to control ourselves.”

  Connor exhaled a long breath. “You’ve got a point. Shit. All those years he said it was in our DNA.”

  “Like Dad knows anything about DNA.”

  “Right.” Connor took a swig of his beer. “I just wish it wasn’t too late for Lauren and me.”

  13

  It’s my own fault, Lauren thought, several hours later, staring through the dark at her bedroom ceiling. She never should’ve opened her heart to Connor. Trusted him when he’d warned her he couldn’t be trusted. Made the assumption that he was a good guy. Because his brother had seemed like a good guy too, until he cheated on her. She’d promised herself to stay away from men for a good reason. And she was doing fine by herself. She wished Tamika had never asked her to test out that app. But it wasn’t Tamika’s fault. It was hers.

  She glanced at her phone. It was already two-forty-two a.m. and sleep wouldn’t come. Her heart ached so much that it was a physical pain. Part of her wished Connor’s brother hadn’t
turned up so she could continue living in blissful ignorance. But the smarter part of her knew it was for the best she had discovered the truth before she got in any deeper.

  She gave a mirthless laugh. Deeper? Hell, she’d already fallen for him. It was already too late. And she didn’t know how she was going to get over this one.

  The memory of lying in Connor’s arms, feeling so protected, came back to her, and bile rose up in her throat. How dumb I was. I knew that love wasn’t for me.

  Lauren eventually fell asleep some time before dawn, and as she dragged her weary body out of bed, a resolution crystalized in her mind.

  An hour later, she arrived in the office, sat at her desk and, with shaking fingers, typed out an email to Errol:

  I’ve been thinking about the proposed transfer of my position to Deerhead, and I’d like to accept. I request one month’s notice to find myself a new apartment there.

  She hit send, then slumped in her swivel chair and tipped her head back. It’s for the best, she told herself.

  The rest of her day passed in a sleepless fog. Her head throbbed, and even looking at her monitor made her feel nauseous. Hurt clung to her as suffocatingly as a sheet blown by the wind, and Connor intruded into every thought. She was in no shape to be in the office today. She should’ve called in sick.

  Errol replied to her email right at the end of the day, saying he was glad she’d made the “intelligent decision.”

  “That condescending prick,” she muttered tiredly, too broken to muster up her usual fury.

  And I’m pleased to say that there’s no need to seek out a new apartment. We have a Parks-owned cabin that you can stay in, free of charge. So, in actual fact, we’d like you to begin your new position next Monday.

  Free of charge. What a palace that’s going to be, she thought. But it would have to do until she’d finished paying her rent in Hope Valley, then she’d look for something better in Deerhead.

  She didn’t care. She was just happy to leave town. Hope Valley wasn’t big enough for Connor and her. And she’d get to see the back of Errol. There were a couple of pluses there.

  When she left work for the day, there was a tall, dark figure leaning against her car. No. If she had to see Connor again, she’d fall apart. Throw up. Have a crying fit right here.

  The figure pushed off the car hood and came toward her, too slim and not tall enough to be Connor, but a familiarity in his gait. Frankie. The knot in her stomach tightened several notches.

  “Lauren, I’m sorry to intrude on you like this, but I didn’t know where you lived, and Connor doesn’t know I’m here. Can we talk?”

  She sighed. “I’m done talking, Frankie.”

  “Please. It’s important. Can you just give me a minute to explain?”

  She lifted a hand and dropped it again. “Okay. But not here. There’s a park downtown. I guess we can speak there.”

  “Great. Thank you.” He flashed her a smile, then he got into his ancient black sedan and followed her to the park.

  A few minutes later, they parked up beside the kids’ playground and he followed her to a bench looking onto a small duck pond. She sat on one end and he stayed a polite distance away from her, sitting with his legs apart, elbows resting on his knees and his fingertips tented. He looked nothing like Connor, now that she could see his features in the bright sunlight. She wasn’t surprised she’d never figured out they were brothers. His hair was dark brown, like Connor’s, but he wore it shoulder-length and messy. He had blue, piercing eyes, a thin, straight nose, and lips that turned down a little at the corners. His face was angular, with slightly hollow cheeks that gave him a hungry look, and a silvery scar ran the length of his right cheek, which he’d acquired since she’d seen him last.

  He gave a sigh of frustration. “I’m so sorry about what I did to you, Lauren. I know it broke your heart. I am responsible for my own actions, but I never would have done it if Dad wasn’t putting so much pressure on me, drumming into me that thing about our bad blood, day after day.” He explained the whole story of the prom, how his dad had forced him to attend, bullied him into cheating on her with another girl.

  Lauren looked at him, trying to square the man with the boy she’d once loved. “I used to think we’d get married one day,” she said.

  He gave a hollow laugh. “I wanted that too, so bad. But I kind of knew it could never happen. I was always so scared I’d hurt you, it was almost a relief when Dad dragged me to the prom and I ruined everything before we got any deeper. How messed up is that?”

  “Pretty messed up.” She gazed out at a line of ducks coasting across the pond. “And I didn’t even know you were a shifter.”

  “I definitely couldn’t tell you that. Shifter code—you can’t reveal the secret until you’ve mated.”

  “I knew about Connor when we first met actually. But I’m not allowed to tell anyone about it.”

  Frankie raised his eyebrows in surprise. “How come?”

  “A friend of mine, Tamika, has a werewolf husband, and she’s starting a dating app to bring shifters and curvy girls together. She told me about shifters after I signed an NDA. She’s a technology whiz and thinks she can help everyone find their perfect match. I was helping her test the app, and would you believe Connor and I are supposed to be perfect for each other?” She laughed bitterly.

  Frankie looked at her seriously. “Yes, I would. Because I can see how crazy he is about you. And I can see how much you love him, too. He’s a better match for you than I ever was. He’s stronger than I am. If he’d been your teenage boyfriend, he wouldn’t have given in to Dad like that. I know it. I hate the pain I’ve caused you, more than I can say, but I’m glad it’s helped you end up with the right guy.”

  Lauren watched the ducks in silence, her thoughts everywhere. “No. I’m not with him. He’s not my guy. I can’t forgive him.”

  “He’s so cut up he hurt you. He always used to say Mom died of a broken heart because of our dad cheating on her. He’s stayed single all these years so he didn’t hurt anybody like that. He’s a real good guy. Can’t you just try to give him another chance, Lauren?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m done with men. I’ve been living by myself all these years, and I’m happy with it. And anyway, I’m leaving Hope Valley in a few days.”

  “What? But why?”

  “Because my boss wants me out the way so I don’t remind him of an embarrassing situation. And I’m good with that. I don’t want to see Connor ever again.” She stood up. “Thanks for trying to speak to me. It has made me hate you a little less. But it doesn’t change anything between Connor and me. Goodbye, Frankie.”

  Lauren held back her tears until she got back home, but as soon as she was safely inside her apartment, she threw herself on her bed and started sobbing again.

  It was all so rotten and unfair. For all of them. And her heart was breaking for Connor. She wanted to forgive him so bad. But she could never trust him again, and she couldn’t face going through any more pain.

  She gazed around her bedroom listlessly. She’d worked so hard to get past all this, create a safe life for herself. But now she’d be glad to leave it behind. She’d miss her friends like crazy, but she needed to be alone for a while. To heal.

  She wiped her eyes. Enough. Anger flared in her at everything. At Connor popping up in her life and bringing her all this heartache that she thought she’d finally laid to rest. She got up and went down to the basement storage locker where she had a bunch of boxes from her last move. There was work to do.

  14

  “Leaving?” Connor bellowed, pacing up and down his deck. “Because of me?”

  “She said her boss transferred her job or something,” Frankie said cautiously, a little nervous of Connor’s wild distress.

  “What? That piece of garbage! He must’ve figured out she’s been helping us. First, he cheats us out of our homes, then he kicks Lauren out of town. I’ll kill him. I will! I’ll rip him into four fucking pieces!�
�� His claws burst out of the ends of his fingers, and his skin burned as tufts of fur broke through.

  “He’s cheated you out of your homes?”

  “Yeah.” Connor had been so occupied with Lauren he hadn’t had a chance to explain everything to Frankie. He told him the whole story, and when he was done, Frankie was also sprouting fur and gnashing his teeth.

  “How can you let him force you out like that?”

  “I was trying to do things the right way. Man to man. We had an agreement.”

  “Which is very admirable, bro. But not when it means that dishonest people cheat you out of what’s rightfully yours. And we’ve had enough of that for one lifetime, don’t you think?”

  Connor was silent, wrestling with his thoughts. “You’re right,” he said at last. “Him screwing me over was one thing, and I tried to resolve it within the bounds of the law. But him chasing Lauren out of town is another—” He broke off at the sound of a car approaching. His spirits rose for a second, then dropped again as he realized it wasn’t Lauren’s car. A small red sports car pulled up and Tamika got out, her brown, wavy hair bouncing around her shoulders.

  “Hey, there!” she called.

  “Hey, Tamika. This is my brother, Frankie,” Connor said.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m just dropping by to see how you boys are doing with the app.”

  “I’ll just go get the questionnaire I’ve been working on. Sit down, please.” Connor located one of the better seating options—a scratched ladder back chair—and placed it on the deck for her. “Want a beer?”

  “Yes, please,” she said, surprising him. And he was doubly surprised when she popped the cap with her teeth. “Trick I learned in my wild youth,” she said carelessly when she noticed their curious expressions.

  Frankie leaned on the porch railing, at a slight distance, while Connor pulled up an upturned bucket and sat opposite her.

  She scanned through Connor’s replies to the questions. “So, tell me—how’s it been going? I’ve been trying to get hold of Lauren too, but she hasn’t replied to my messages for the last couple of days.” He cleared his throat. “I think the app did a great job of matching Lauren and me,” he said haltingly. “Personality wise, and attraction wise.”