Shiftr_Swipe Left for Love_Connor & Lauren

by Ariana Hawkes

  As her hyperventilation got worse and worse, she heard the doctor’s voice behind her.

  “Breathe slowly,” he said, coming over and sitting down next to her. “It’s ok. You’re having a panic attack. It’s nothing to worry about.” He opened his bag and took a paper bag out. “Here, breathe into this.” He made the opening into a small circle and placed it over her mouth. Melissa gasped into it. Little by little, her breathing slowed and evened out. A minute later, she could breathe normally again. She realized that the doctor was gently rubbing her back and making soothing noises. “Better?” he said.

  “Yes, much, thank you,” she said, smiling weakly. “I’m so sorry. Lauren’s just had a baby, and now I’m taking your time up being a freak.” Doctor Harley chuckled. It was a nice, warm sound.

  “Don’t be silly. What you just experienced was a physiological response to something rooted deep in your psyche. It’s very common.”

  “It’s never happened to me before,” she said.

  “Panic attacks can be caused by flashbacks. Was there anything that happened tonight which might have triggered it?”

  “Lauren giving birth,” Melissa said. Doctor Harley frowned.

  “And why is that?” he asked. Melissa told him all about her own stillbirth, and how it had broken up her marriage. He listened quietly, keeping his big brown eyes on hers. Distractedly, she noticed that he was very good looking. He had fine-textured olive skin, a firm jawline and well-shaped lips.

  “Well, I’m not surprised it caused that reaction in you tonight,” he said. “It must have been a very traumatic experience. Did you receive any counseling?” She shook her head.

  “No. My ex-husband refused to go to couples’ therapy. We just suffered by ourselves, and then we fell apart. I have moved on now. I just hadn’t expected to be around while Lauren gave birth, and I guess it brought all those feelings right back.”

  “Unfortunately, the mind has a habit of doing that,” the doctor said. His manner was very soft and caring, and a sense of familiarity tugged at her. Had someone acted like that towards her before? She didn’t think so. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t tear herself away from his gaze. There was something fascinating in the angular planes of his face, and his straight white teeth. Up close, she could see that his eyes weren’t just brown, but had little threads of amber running through them. She’d never seen eyes like that before.

  He touched her lightly on the knee, and a jolt of electricity ran through her, as if she’d received a static shock. What’s wrong with me?

  “How are you feeling now?” he asked.

  “Back to normal,” she said, not quite truthfully.

  “I’ll stay with you a minute or two longer while I figure out where I’m supposed to be next, and then I’ll leave you in peace,” he said, he pulled out his phone. As he switched it on, it made a weird beeping sound. He threw Melissa a quick glance, his lips tensed with an emotion she couldn’t read.

  “Sorry about that. Too many apps,” he said with a laugh. “Ok, looks like I need to be on the other side of the national park. From what you’ve said, your panic attack was a one-off, but let me know if you have any more problems. Connor has my number.” She nodded.

  “I will do that, thank you.” Doctor Harley went over to the bedroom and said goodnight to everyone and gave Lauren and Connor some advice on the baby, then he waved to Melissa on the way out. She watched him go, thinking how incredibly kind he’d been. And how attractive he was. She shook her head, dismissing the thought. She shouldn’t be thinking like that about him. She got to her feet and went back to the bedroom. Lauren looked totally beat, but very happy. The baby was in Kristin’s arms, and Dina was sitting on the bed, a hand on her belly, gazing at the baby with joy.

  “Do you want a hold?” Kristin asked.

  “Of course I do!” she said. “But I’m going to leave these folks in peace to feed and sleep, and I’ll hold the little one tomorrow.”

  “No, it’s ok, honey, I really want you to hold her today,” Lauren said with a smile. Melissa didn’t need to be asked twice. Eagerly, she took the baby from Kristin. She was so ridiculously tiny, but her bright black eyes seemed to be looking up at Melissa with curiosity. Melissa slid her pinky into the baby’s tiny fist, and her heart fluttered as the baby’s fingers gripped tightly.

  “Oh, Lauren, Connor, she’s so perfect,” Melissa said. “What are you going to call her?”

  “I don’t know,” Lauren said. “We had a name in mind – Rose – but now she’s here I feel like it doesn’t suit her. I think she needs a feistier name. I can tell this one’s going to be a fighter.” The baby made a tiny gulping sound, as if agreeing, and they all laughed. Melissa stood up and carefully handed her back to Lauren. Then she and Dina said their goodbyes and left the new family to their first night together, and Kristin to a night on her sofa.

  2

  Three days later, Melissa was snuggled under her comforter with a big mug of spiced hot chocolate on the nightstand beside her. It was late November and the first snow of the winter had begun to fall. Snowflakes were drifting past her window, and she wriggled in her warm bed, glad to be cozy indoors. She’d had a long day at the charity she worked for, and she was looking forward to a little me time.

  She picked up her phone and looked at the little orange paw print icon on the home screen. She hadn’t looked at the app since the girls had introduced her to it. The last couple of days had been all about the new baby – who was now named Willow – and helping Lauren and Connor out. A buzz of anticipation ran through her at the thought of all the hot men lurking behind that little button. She hadn’t yet processed the fact that they were all shape shifters too, and the thought was both exciting and terrifying to her. She opened up the main profile page, and began to scroll past one sexy photo after another. They’re all out of my league, surely? she thought to herself. But as she clicked on their photos and their profiles opened up, every single one said that they were looking for a curvy, voluptuous girl. And her friends were all curvy, and they’d found themselves amazing, good-looking guys.

  She scanned the profiles lazily, too overwhelmed by choice to be assessing the guys as potential partners. Or mates. She stared at one guy’s profile. He was a bear shifter, with light brown hair and alluring green eyes. If I was with him, I’d be his mate. At the thought, her chest bloomed with heat. It seemed so animalistic, but so hot as well.

  An hour passed as she drifted through the photos, and she reached the point where she almost felt sated by the sight of gorgeous men. She laughed at her own flakiness. I could spend hours by myself gawking at hot guys, or I could actually try to meet some of them. Seeing Lauren’s baby coming out healthy had done her a lot of good, and she was over her disappointment at how things had gone with Timo as she now understood the concept of a perfect match. She was ready to start dating and seeking her life partner again.

  “Ok, what’s the best way of ordering these profiles?” she muttered, as she fiddled with the options on the app. “Oh, list by compatibility.” She clicked that option, and the thumbnail photos jumped around the screen like a little starburst, before zooming back into a line and being reordered. She loved this app. It was so cute and fun to use. Now the profile right at the top of the list had 99% showing in a box next to it. There’s a guy who’s 99% compatible with me? She tapped the thumbnail photo excitedly. When she saw the photo full size, she almost dropped her phone. It’s the doctor. Doctor Harley. The same brown eyes that had been looking at her with such concern three days ago looked directly at the camera, his white teeth showing in a relaxed smile. And, oh wow, what a body! His well-developed pecs and rippling abs glistened slightly, as if he’d just been working out, and he had a t-shirt slung over his shoulder. Her mouth watered. He had her absolute favorite kind of body – tight, lean and smooth. He looked so sexy in the photo. She felt like she didn’t have the right to look at him like that. He was a doctor, for goodness sake! For 20 minutes, he’d been her do
ctor. But still, she couldn’t stop herself from scrolling down to his profile info. It said that he spent some of his free time volunteering his services for a medical charity. He loved music, eating out, cozy nights at home, being part of the local community, and restoring old furniture. He didn’t have any kids, but wanted to start a family some day. He was looking for a curvy girl with a good heart who believed in family and friendships and helping out disadvantaged people. He wanted someone who could share his interests and introduce him to new ones. “He sounds perfect for me,” Melissa whispered. She stared at his photo for a long time, recalling how she’d felt a weird jolt when he’d touched her. Then she had a thought: she hadn’t yet checked out what kind of shape shifter he was. Wolf, she thought, as she swiped left on his photo. He was: the screen filled with a large gray wolf, with sleek, glossy fur, and dazzling amber eyes, standing on a ridge on a mountain range. He was beautiful – majestic and dignified, and his eyes had a hint of the softness of his human expression. She tried to imagine the doctor transforming into a wolf. How did it even happen? Was it like in the movies, where it happened gradually, and he’d sprout fur and claws, before becoming increasingly wolf-like? Or would it all happen in a flash? The thought of that handsome, caring man becoming something wild and predatory was deeply thrilling to her.

  She swiped back to the human photo. She had that same sense of familiarity that she’d had before, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. So what now? Could she contact him, or would that be weird? While she thought it over, she put her phone down and sipped her hot chocolate. She’d been so preoccupied with Shiftr that it had gone cold, but it was still delicious. Did he seem like he was attracted to me? She tried to recall everything they’d said to each other, but all she could remember was professional concern. Picking up her phone, she scrutinized his profile yet again, looked at the 99% box in the corner. There was a little green paw print just beneath the box. What does that mean? She tapped it, and a help dialog popped up: “This member has visited your profile!” it said. Melissa’s pulse quickened. He’s checked me out already! This means he’s interested, right? But how do you even let someone know that you’re interested? There’s got to be a message option somewhere. She looked through the app’s options and discovered that her messages were disabled. She slid the button to ‘on’ and immediately the phone emitted a chorus of beeps. “You have 23 messages!” a little heart-shaped alert told her. “No way!” she muttered, and tapped the inbox button. There were so many messages from guys wanting to find out if they were a match. She flipped through them. There was one from the hunky archaeologist guy, and one from the first wolf she’d seen. Her tummy flipped. These insanely, out-of-her-league hot guys were interested in speaking to her! Curiously, they were 82% and 80% compatible with her. When she’d set her preferences, that had seemed like a lot, but now she knew that the doctor was supposed to be a 99% match, it didn’t seem to be enough. She worked through all the messages, grinning in delight. Men were calling her “beautiful” and “sexy”. She’d never had that before. Her ex-husband had been sweet and had taken care of her, but he’d never made her feel like she was a desirable woman. They’d been a functional couple who loved each other and wanted to have kids together. The last message was from a jaguar shifter. He was tall and sleek, with long black hair, a goatee and narrow hazel eyes that stared seductively at the camera. It said:

  Hey, bonita,

  Damn, you’re such a fine woman. I’d love to see that sinful curvy body of yours stripped of its wrappings and laid out for my delight. How about we meet someplace secluded and I show you my feline talents?

  Melissa’s face burned. It was like he’d undressed her with his eyes, and knew what she looked like under her clothes. So rude. She looked at his photo again. At the same time, it was kind of hot that he so obviously wanted her. For just a moment, she let herself fantasize about having sex with this gorgeous, wild-looking man. It’d been so long since she’d had sex that she’d forgotten what it felt like. Not that sex had ever been great with her ex. They’d been each other’s first, and even after several years of marriage they were still like clumsy teenagers together.

  The app claimed that she was 85% compatible with the jaguar. Whatever. This wasn’t what she was looking for at all. What she wanted was a man who’d want her that badly, but treat her like a princess, and she had a strong suspicion that this guy was looking for one night stands only. But how was she supposed to tell him no thanks? She pressed the home button on her phone, tapped the phone app and tapped Kristin’ name on her recent calls list.

  “How’s it going?” came Kristin’s excitable voice after a few rings. There was a lot of noise and loud music in the background.

  “Where are you?” Melissa asked.

  “At a rock gig upstate,” Kristin replied. “A friend of Roman’s is the lead singer. It’s awesome!” Melissa grinned, glad that being pregnant hadn’t curtailed Kristin’s appetite for having crazy nights out with Roman.

  “Well I won’t keep you. I just wanted to know how to let shifters down gently when you’re not interested in them?”

  “Ooh I think that means you’ve got mail, girl!” Kristin shrieked. Melissa laughed.

  “A couple. 23 actually.”

  “That’s amazing! You go girl! So, the one thing to remember about shifters is that they’re very direct. Most of the guys on there are looking for their perfect match, so they’ll appreciate you being honest with them if you don’t think that the two of you are compatible. So, just tell them straight up – thanks for your interest, but I don’t think we’re right for each other. That’s it! Hey, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go – the main act is just coming on stage. But I’ll call you tomorrow and we can discuss in more detail, ok?”

  “Sure! Thanks, Kristin!” Melissa said.

  When she’d finished the call, Melissa tapped the Shiftr app again and returned to the jaguar’s message.

  I’m really flattered, but I don’t think we’re compatible

  she wrote, and she sent the message before she had time to think about it. He replied immediately with a crying emoticon, and that was it. Melissa breathed a sigh of relief. She went back to the other messages, figuring out how to reply to them. With some of them, she only had to tap a happy face or a sad face icon to say if she wanted to find out if they were a good match. That left three other messages, and, with the list narrowed down, the absence of a message from the doctor began to play on her mind. He’d visited her profile but not messaged her. He’d obviously seen the 99% compatibility rating and clicked on the thumbnail, but when he’d seen it was her, he’d obviously decided not to contact her. What could she expect from him anyway? He’d met her while she was acting like a total headcase. She’d hardly been at her most attractive while she was gasping for breath like a fish that’d just jumped out of its tank. He’d rejected her; that was it. He certainly wasn’t the first, and he probably wouldn’t be the last.

  She looked at the three guys that she still owed a message. There was the archaeologist, the first wolf, and a horse shifter – a tall, blonde guy with a messy tangle of blond hair. The horse was a 92% match. What would a horse be like as a mate? Probably quite highly strung, she thought. Still, he was very good looking, with a square jaw and sensitive full lips. He’d asked her what she’d do on a perfect Saturday night with her mate. She wrote:

  I’m a real homebody, so I’d probably cook a lovely dinner and then relax with red wine and a movie. How about you?

  She hit ‘send’ while cursing herself for being boring. The archaeologist wanted to know if she’d ever been on a dig before, and the wolf wanted to know what kind of music she was into. She replied and asked them questions in return, trying to sound smart and witty, but she felt a little deflated.

  She looked at the time. It was late. Time to stop moping about the doctor. Tomorrow was another day. She put her phone on silent, set her alarm, and went to sleep.

  Melissa awoke the next morning to d
iscover that the snow had settled during the night, and the whole world had turned white. She stared out of the window anxiously. Her tires weren’t in the best shape and she was due to go and visit Lauren, Connor and Willow this morning with the other girls. It wasn’t so deep, she decided. Maybe six inches at the most. Although, it could be worse out by the national park.

  She got out of bed and made a bowl of porridge and golden syrup – perfect for the frosty weather – and ate it wrapped in a fluffy, baby-blue bathrobe, while watching morning TV.

  When she unlocked her phone to check the route to Lauren and Connor’s place, the little orange paw print caught her eye. Did she have time to check her messages? Yes, if it only takes ten minutes, she told herself. As she tapped the app, her stomach tightened. Part of her didn’t want to look at her messages. What if the guys she’d messaged thought her replies were really dull and didn’t message her back?

  The inbox opened and she whooped. All three guys had messaged her, and there were another ten new messages. There was nothing from the doctor, but she hadn’t expected that there would be. Never mind; she was over it now. The horse said that a home-cooked meal and a movie were his idea of a perfect date night. The archaeologist invited her to visit him on a dig he was doing in the next state. And the wolf said he hadn’t heard of her favorite bands, which didn’t surprise her, but he was going to check them out on his music-streaming app and let her know if he liked them. He also sent her some links to his favorite bands. Melissa’s heart glowed. Shiftr dating was so much fun. It was so great chatting to guys and getting to know them without any pressure, instead of the awkward dates she’d had with Timo, with all those gaps in the conversation, both of them wracking their brains for the next thing to say.