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Fallen Woman

Page 19

by Stephie Walls


  When he finally broke away, I was panting, my cheeks flushed with adrenaline and my lips puffy from his assault. I couldn’t help the smile that played on my mouth. His forehead found mine, and I opened my eyes to the most breathtaking man I’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. He intoxicated me, but as much as that kiss had knocked me off my feet, there was a huge issue looming, and knowing Jase, he wouldn’t let it go with the admission of love and a kiss.

  We enjoyed the silence and another lingering but lazy kiss before he broke away, dragging me back to the safety of his embrace between his legs, with him perched against the headboard. “You have to press charges.”

  “I can’t do that, Jase. I don’t know what happened.”

  “Forget Holland violating your body; I’ll deal with that issue. Were you with anyone else who could have slipped drugs in your drink?”

  He knew the answer but forced me to acknowledge it on my own. “Not unless the waiter at the restaurant did, but we were at his house before I felt anything, and it happened fast.”

  “So, why wouldn’t you press charges for that alone?”

  “I can’t prove it, and it would be his word against mine. A war with him—come on, even you know I’d be killed in court. Think about this logically. Look at who I am versus who he is. What do you think people in the community are going to see? What do you think a jury would see? Oh, that’s right…the same thing your friends see when they look at any woman who approaches you guys—a money grubbing gold digger. I’m not willing to put myself in that position.”

  “This really isn’t open for discussion, Gianna. You can either do it willingly, or I’ll go down to the police station and turn him in myself.”

  “Please don’t push this, Jase. I’ve warred with people who have more money than God. I didn’t win. Not only did I lose, but my husband was murdered, and I was escorted out of town. My kids can’t go through that again. I’m barely holding on as it is.”

  He sighed and ran his hand through his hair for what seemed like the millionth time in less than an hour. “I can’t let this go, baby. I can’t let him get away with it. Not again.”

  My head snapped to his. “Again?”

  “Something happened in college; I’m not sure what exactly took place. All I know was he was accused of something very similar. His mother went to mine, and my parents got him out of whatever had taken place. At the time, it seemed too coincidental, but I couldn’t lay that at my friend’s feet. He dated her, they broke up, and then a couple of weeks later she cried rape via the date rape drug. She looked vindictive, so my parents helped make it go away to keep from ruining him. I never believed he was capable of something like that. I’d always thought they did the right thing, but now…now I wonder if he prays on people he knows won’t be able to fight back.”

  “Don’t you see, though? He’s going to say the same about me. Except now he has all the money and reputation around town. I live in the projects, my husband was a felon murdered in prison, and I don’t have two nickels to rub together. I look exactly like the women your group hates. He could argue we went out several times, there had been some foreplay, and when he didn’t want to see me anymore, I hollered foul play. I can’t do it.”

  “Fine. I’ll handle it my way.” He was seething mad, but I didn’t know how to make him feel any better. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I’m so sorry I got you mixed up with these guys—first Willum and now Holland. If it weren’t for me, neither would have had the opportunity to hurt you.”

  “Willum didn’t hurt me.” I’d go to my grave arguing with Jase about that night being my responsibility. It had damaged their friendship, and now I knew why.

  “We can agree to disagree. Again, another friend who knew what you meant to me and didn’t protect you.”

  “None of this is your fault. I’m a grown woman. I could’ve said no. I played with fire and I got burned. Everything in me told me being an escort of sorts was a bad idea, but I sold myself for the almighty dollar.”

  “Yeah, and taking care of your children was more important.”

  We could’ve debated all night long where the situation went wrong, but the truth was none of it should have ever happened. I played the role of a hooker, and I got treated like one. I tried to make light of the situation. “At least now I have enough money to buy a car.” There was zero evidence Jase found any humor in that statement.

  He cut his eyes sharply in my direction, but when I tried to dodge his stare, I fell over on the bed. Finally, the smirk I so desperately love eked its way past the frown and lit up his face. “I can’t help but smile when I see you. You light up a room, Gia.”

  I found my way to his shoulder and tucked myself into his side. “This is going to be okay, somehow. I know it is. Please don’t do anything that’s going to get you in trouble. Promise?”

  He didn’t make that guarantee, and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop him from confronting Holland. I only hoped he did it in the manner he had Willum, but something told me he considered this a different violation. Willum’s was carelessness—Holland’s was intentional…and sexual.

  “Are you mad at me?” I had to know where we stood on the incident a few months ago. If he had an issue, we needed to address it now, not in a fit of anger or a fight down the road.

  “For what?”

  “What happened in the limo with Holland a few months ago.”

  “I can’t say it makes me happy, but I can’t fault you for it, either. I knew what I was risking not telling you how I felt…I just thought I could trust my friends with you. Had I known the game he was going to play, you would never have been in the situation.”

  “If you felt that way about me, why didn’t you ever take me out?”

  “I did. All the time. We went to lunch, I’d bring food over to your house, you guys came here…but if you’re asking why I didn’t take you out after the agreement, that’s simple. I never wanted to buy your time. I wanted you to spend time with me because you wanted to. I needed to know you gave that to me willingly…not because there was a dollar sign attached.”

  “Do you think less of me for going out with your friends and taking their money?”

  “I was jealous, but I never thought less of you because I thought it was on the up and up. I believed my friends were good to you.” He stopped and thought about something before continuing. “Please tell me Max and Drake didn’t do anything stupid.”

  I shook my head. “No. The one night things were uncomfortable with Drake, he sent me to you. He knew didn’t he?”

  “Yeah. He knew. They all did.”

  “And I’ve told you how much I love Max, and I’ve talked to Ivy on the phone several times. I’d love to see her again. They’re both fantastic. The only one who ever challenged the original agreement was Holland.”

  He got up and turned off the light before returning to bed. Once under the blankets, he snuggled up to me and held me like his life depended upon not letting go.

  I felt him kiss the top of my head. “I promise not to let anything else hurt you.”

  If only he could have ensured that; unfortunately, he couldn’t control what other people did or said, but none of that would come to fruition for several days. I laid in the darkness of his room, held tightly by the arms I’d longed to belong in for so long.

  “Goodnight, Jase.”

  “Goodnight, love.”

  ~~~

  The next morning, I woke to the sounds of kids running around upstairs and the warmth of Jase still surrounding me.

  “Are you going to work today?” His voice was groggy and sensual just before he shook the sleep from his day.

  “Of course. That’s not optional, and the kids have school. We need to get up.” I stretched my body, pressing my breasts in his face. He smiled against them, causing me to giggle when I realized what I’d done.

  I didn’t know what last night’s confessions had meant or if anything
had changed. He’d only kissed me twice within minutes of each other, but each one had been life altering. Now, lying here in bed with him, I wanted more from him. Guilt ate at me for feeling this way after what I’d been through not so long ago, but I’d loved Jase before that ever took place, and those feelings hadn’t changed. As far as I was concerned, that night never happened, and I wasn’t going to live my life as though it had.

  My hand fell back on his stomach, and my fingers traced the hard planes of his abdominal muscles. I had no idea how he stayed in such great shape—he ate like crap and never worked out. He allowed my hands to explore with a gentle touch. I wasn’t trying to start anything with the kids mere feet away, but it was nice to feel free to touch him where I wanted to, and his hands demonstrated the same need to uncover new territory. I hated to get up, but we both had to get ready for work and drop the kids off at their respective locations.

  When I patted his stomach, he took the hint and hopped up. “I’ll get the kids moving; you get in the shower.” And he disappeared in the hallway.

  I hadn’t been in the water five minutes before the glass door swung open, startling the crap out of me. I’d covered my breasts and my crotch with an arm and hand respectively before I realized Jase was standing before me in nothing but the dressing God gave him, and oh my…was he a stunning being. Apparently, we’d taken our relationship to another level I hadn’t been aware of, but I wasn’t about to complain.

  Stepping aside, I allowed room for him to join me. He pushed a button on the wall, and suddenly, water came at us from all directions. I’d never noticed it before, but there were countless spigots in the tile, heads on three walls, and a rain spout above. Neither of us had to sacrifice warmth to be together. Gently, he washed my hair and then conditioned it. But when he took the bar of soap to my bare skin, I had to hold myself up against the wall. His touch was intoxicating, the way his hand covered my flesh as the soap lubricated his path. Somehow, his fingers were still warmer than the hot water flowing around us—everywhere our skin met ignited. He lathered soap in his hands, and my head fell back on his chest the moment he cupped my heavy breasts before sliding them over and back around. I reached behind me to pull him as close to me as I could get him and felt his arousal between my cheeks. He spun me around, capturing my mouth in a scorching kiss that promised to lead to the pleasure I was desperate for.

  As quickly as it started, it stopped…abruptly.

  “Mommy—can you make us breakfast?” Emmy’s face pressed against the glass door of the shower, her nose smudged like a pig, staring at my naked body, and I prayed Jase’s was covered by my own.

  “Sure, Emmy, but you need to run along. You shouldn’t come in when people are in the bathroom.”

  She scurried along, and I died of embarrassment while Jase released a deep, throaty laugh behind me. I swatted at his bicep, but he just trapped my arms at my side. “Might as well laugh, babe. I’m sure it won’t be the last time, and we’re lucky she didn’t catch more than that. Had she been two or three minutes later, she very likely would have found her mommy in a compromising position neither one of us is ready to explain to a child.”

  He smacked my butt and turned off the water. When we stepped out, he handed me a towel, warm from the rack. It was nice to be this casual with another human being—it was incredible that it was Jase Lane. It seemed surreal. This was a fairytale I never wanted to escape—things like this didn’t happen for girls like me.

  It amazed me how easily Jase had fallen into parenthood. While he didn’t technically have permanent custody of Derrick, his lawyer did secure temporary while they looked for his parents. Unfortunately, state law required sixty days before he could proceed with the adoption. Of course, Jase had put on a full-court press to find Derrick’s mother. He wanted her consent and her silence, even if he had to buy it. He didn’t think it would be difficult to find her knowing her name, but I knew the truth of the streets. My mother hadn’t wanted to be found, and I was pretty sure Trina wouldn’t either. If she hadn’t shown up for her mother’s funeral, she sure wasn’t going to show up to claim the son she’d abandoned.

  After dropping the kids off at school and Emmy at daycare, Jase and I rode into the office together. “I’m going to let you out at the front of the building. I have some stuff I need to take care of today. I’ll be back to pick you up, and I’ll get the kids after school.”

  “What about work, Jase? We have to find a more permanent solution. You can’t just check out at three o’clock every day.”

  “Technically, I can—realistically, I shouldn’t. Don’t worry. One of my stops is to Emmy’s daycare to see if they do after-school pickup.”

  “Jase, I can’t pay for after school care for the kids.” He just didn’t get it.

  “Let’s cross one bridge at a time, Gia.” He lifted my hand, the one he held on his thigh, and kissed my knuckles. “We’ll figure this out. Together.” He’d pulled up to the building, and I couldn’t help but take a moment to capture the essence of emotion in the windows he’d opened to his soul. It was as if he’d lifted a veil, opened a curtain—when he let me in, suddenly the light was brighter, and the connection was unbreakable. I was tethered to him, but I wasn’t sure what secured me.

  “Are you off on business today?” I shouldn’t be asking. The traffic was backing up behind us, but it didn’t matter. I was only delaying his departure for selfish reasons.

  “Something like that.” He leaned over to kiss my cheek. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  I hopped out, instantly feeling vulnerable without him.

  He didn’t come back for lunch, and I hadn’t brought anything, so I opted for a magazine in the lobby. I secluded myself in the sun by the windows to pass the time and buried my nose in the pages of a tabloid for entertainment. Around two in the afternoon, there was a light knock on my cubicle wall. Startled, I spun around in my chair to find those steely gray eyes honed in on me—alight with desire or some other unkempt emotion threatening to boil over.

  “Grab your stuff. Let’s go.” There was a hint of a grin, but it was more mischievous than any I’d seen from him prior.

  “Jase, I don’t get off for three hours. You know I can’t just leave.”

  He stepped in and pushed me in my chair to the side to open my desk drawer and remove my pocketbook. Then, reaching over me, he used the mouse to put my computer to sleep, all while I watched him with focused intensity. “I talked to your boss. He said it’s cool.”

  “You know—” He interrupted me by yanking me up from the seat, then quickly wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me tightly to his chest. Apparently, our relationship had gone to another level, and we weren’t hiding that from anyone.

  “We’re going home. Now.” The words were whispered in my ear, but he screamed his intention as if I couldn’t feel it pressed firmly against my stomach.

  Hand in hand, my purse in the other, he escorted me out of the building with eyes all over us. He may not have cared, but I hated people thinking I got special treatment because of who they all believed I was having sex with but had never done more than kiss. Jase owned our relationship with pride—I, on the other hand, downplayed it…always had.

  Reaching the privacy of his car, the windows tinted darkly, the parking garage void of passersby, he secured my neck with his hand, bringing my mouth to his. The intrusion was welcomed, although unexpected—a hot, panty-wetting kiss. The way his tongue collided with mine, the warmth of his flesh, his fingers searing my skin, I wanted him closer; I was desperate to feel every inch of him. We were the best of friends, but I needed an intimate knowledge. He, too, seemed to want to learn that lesson.

  He sped off from the parking garage toward his house with little care in mind. In an almost reckless fashion, we reached his home faster than the law safely allowed. I couldn’t help but giggle at his anxiousness.

  “What are you laughing about?” he asked with a smirk on his face as the garage door went down.
>
  “You. You must have something pretty important on your agenda to have raced home.”

  To my dismay, he did, and it wasn’t what I’d hoped for.

  He grabbed a large envelope from the back seat and opened his door. “Come on. Let’s go in.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jase lured me into his domicile with the anticipation of something more than he gave. I was expecting something fun, but he’d just buttered me up to have a discussion I wasn’t interested in. We spent the next two hours arguing about my living location and schools.

  “Gianna, your living in The Village just doesn’t work. It’s not safe, and I don’t want you or the kids there. I refuse to take Derrick out and leave you.”

  For what seemed like the hundredth time, I tried again to explain why I couldn’t leave yet. “I can’t pay for anything else right now. I need to get a car first and then worry about moving. It’s all very expensive.” We sat at the bar in the kitchen. He stared at me intently while I stared at the counter with my head in my hands, ready to pull my hair out.

  “Then move in here. You don’t have to worry about rent, and you can use your money to buy a car.”

  “You don’t seem to understand—it’s bigger than that.”

  “Then I need you to break it down for me.” The only reason I hadn’t snapped was he’d been so sweet, and I knew this was coming from a place of love. When I glanced at the clock, I freaked out.

  “Oh my God, Jase. We left the kids at school.” I jumped up in search of my pocketbook and wondered why he was sitting calmly on the stool.

  He grabbed my wrist. “Baby, calm down. Allison got them. We can go by her house anytime.”

  “How the heck did you get the school to allow you to dictate who would pick the kids up?” I’m baffled by his ability to maneuver around rules.

  “Easy. I told them I was their dad.”

  “You’re not listed on their paperwork as their father. Do your looks get you everything?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

 

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