by Liz Lovelock
“Yeah, I’m sure she’d stick up for you. Are you cheating on me?”
I’m shocked by his words because they were actually true. I know it was only a small kiss, but the emotions that were involved made me want more.
“What? No! How could you think that? How dare you!” I screamed at him through the phone. I knew I’d done wrong, but he could never know.
“Okay, I believe you. Don’t you ever cheat on me Abby or there will be severe consequences.” I heard the promise in his tone. It sent chills through me. Fear gripped my heart with terror.
“I could never do that to you,” I whispered in defeat. I always surrendered to him. I was weak. I wrapped my free arm around my stomach trying to give myself some comfort.
After that phone call, I broke down and cried all night. I had to cry silently into my pillow as I was at home, and being so near my family, especially Melodi who already had an idea of what was going on, I couldn’t let her see me broken. I hated myself so much for what I’d done. I cried until my stomach hurt and my eyes stung. Now I sat there on the same bench I’d met Blake on. I’d ignored all his messages. I’d even put his name in my phone as a girl so that Jacob wouldn’t get suspicious if he found it, and I always deleted his messages no matter what.
I leant back on the bench, soaking up the sun while I wished my life was different. Why couldn’t I be a much stronger person like Melodi? The refreshing breeze tickled my face. Such a beautiful day to go out for lunch. I felt the bench shift slightly and my eyes shot open as I looked beside me. My heart dropped into my lap.
“Hello, darling,” Jacob smiled at me. It made my skin crawl, the way he looked at me. His eyes were cold and loveless.
I mustered up my courage and gave him the reception he wanted. I leant over and greeted him with a kiss. “Hey, aren’t you working today?” He never left the office. It was like he was checking up on me.
“I took my lunch break today to come see you. The girls said you’d gone out for lunch. You should be telling me when you go out, Abby,” his voice stern like he was talking to a little child telling them they shouldn’t do something. Anger built in my chest.
“I can go if I want. I don’t need to tell you every time I go out. It’s just—”
He cut me off, grabbed my arm and squeezed it hard. Even though he didn’t have long nails, his fingers pressed in so deeply I could feel them pierce my skin. I yelped in pain and shock.
“Do not speak to me like that again. You will respect me,” he forcefully whispered. My body was tense with fear and everything within me tightened like a spring coil. I tried pulling my arm away from him, but his grip tightened. “You’ll be punished for that.” There’s that promise again.
What did I do to deserve this?
I stayed silent. My tears threatened, but even if they fell he wouldn’t feel any remorse. It just pushed him further.
“Do you understand me?” he reiterated.
I couldn’t speak, fear had stolen my voice, so I simply nodded. He released me, thankfully. I caressed my sore arm and noticed he’d drawn blood. “I want you at my place tonight by the time I finish work.” He didn’t give me an opportunity to answer before he walked away like he was the king of the world.
Once he was out of sight and I could see his car speed off down the street, the tears came thick and fast. I cried so hard that I couldn’t catch my breath. I heaved, taking in any air I could; it was as if I was sucking air through a semi-blocked straw. Then I felt strong arms lift me up and wrapped me up in a warmth of comfort.
“Shh…it’s okay. Breathe, Abby. Deep breaths.”
Blake… I clung to him as though he was my life support. I instantly touched him and he gave me the strength I needed.
“Oh, Blake,” I sobbed into his chest gripping his shirt. The pain in my chest began to ease a little as Blake soothed me with his calming words, and the way he ran his fingers over my back. He knew what I needed. “I’m so sorry for losing it,” I said after I took in a few deep breaths.
“Abby, it’s okay. I was coming to see if you were here today. I needed to see that you were okay, and when I saw him hurting you…” he paused to compose himself, “I had to fight every instinct in my body not to run over here and just beat the life out of him. The way he handled you, spoke to you…you don’t deserve that.” I felt every emotion he felt when he spoke those words. The hate and dislike for Jacob was palpable.
“I don’t know any other way, Blake. He’ll do worse things if I defy him more than I already have.” I sobbed into his shirt. I felt like I was stuck in a rut and no matter how much I kept trying to get myself out, I somehow ended up deeper in. I wanted to scream, feeling the need to run away from the life I’d created for myself.
Disappear.
“Just leave, Abby. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“Blake, I don’t know how. Tell me how? What do I do?” I pleaded. Fresh tears slid down my cheeks as Blake held me out at arm’s length. Taking my face in his hands, his energised emerald eyes pierced right into my sky blue ones.
“We’ll figure this out, but for now, please, and I’m pretty much begging you right now, Abby…don’t shut me out or run from me again.” Sadness and determination etched in every crease of his perfect face.
Why am I putting my trust in him?
“Why are you doing this? I don’t even know you,” I voiced my thoughts as he continued to hold my face. I’d calmed down and was more rational by this stage.
A weak smile brightened his face. It’s amazing what a smile, no matter how little, can do to change the appearance of someone. “I’m drawn to you. I’ve seen you sitting right here in this very same spot with so much sadness in your eyes. You may not have noticed, but I’d walked past you many times, only you looked lost in thought.” His words warmed my heart. He continued, “I desperately wanted to talk to you, to get to know you, and to care for you. Seeing those marks on your beautiful skin makes me so angry, and finally seeing the face for the reason behind those marks just made me more determined to get you away from him. He doesn’t love you, you’re just another punching bag for him. I won’t stand by anymore and allow him to do this to you.”
“Blake…” I say as barely a whisper. Knowing he’d been watching me and wanted to care for me the way a true lover should gave me a newfound look on life. I still had no idea how I would get out of tonight’s thing.
“Leave it all with me and I’ll help you through this. Just try, and I mean really try, to stay away.”
With those words I already knew I had no hope of keeping my distance. He had ways of getting what he wanted. I’d only make it worse for myself if I didn’t go. So I gave Blake an answer he needed to hear. “I can try, but I won’t promise anything.”
He nodded in acceptance.
Standing there, I took in his appearance. He was in his police uniform with his belt holding his gun and a batten. He also had a radio attached to the shoulder of his uniform. He looked drop-dead , make-your-stomach-flop gorgeous. His shirt was slightly taut and he had the most delicious defined arms. The sight made me weak at the knees, literally. I’m sure my mouth was hanging open, catching the flies. He cleared his throat, catching my attention.
Yep, totally busted!
“Sorry,” I sheepishly said. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks with embarrassment.
“Don’t apologise, glad I could be a distraction.” He grinned giving me a wink, which set my chest racing.
“I should get back to work.” Realising that I’ve been away far longer than I should’ve been, I knew the girls would be getting worried. They’d already given me sideway glances and the whispering amongst them was evident to me. It crushed me every time they don’t even ask how I am; they just walk on eggshells around me. I don’t know if I have given off that ‘Don’t ask me questions’ vibe. Jess, who’s been my friend since I arrived in America, still talks to me, but avoids the boy situation. I don’t think it helps that I changed the subject each time sh
e had brought it up.
“All right. Abby, please try and stay away from him as much as possible.”
I nod, knowing that unfortunately I can’t do as he says.
“When can I see you again?” He took me by surprise by his question. I honestly don’t know what he sees in me. Does he think of me as a charity case? Someone to help make him feel better about himself? As I pondered on those last thoughts, deep down in the pit of my stomach, I knew he did genuinely care.
“Umm… I don’t know. My boyfriend goes away a fair bit, so I’ll let you know when I know.” Feeling guilty was my primary emotion these days. I honestly didn’t know why I should be the one feeling guilty. I didn’t bash me, I didn’t bruise me. Jacob made me feel as though no one else in this world could love me, but this man standing in front of me seemed to hold feelings for me. Feelings I’d like to explore, boyfriend or not.
“Okay, please message me. I look forward to seeing you again, and hopefully not freaking you into running away.” He took my face gently in his hands, his eyes piercing into mine. Everything around me faded away as if it was only us in the park. He leant in, pressed his lips to mine. My lips parted slightly, and he used that as an invitation. His tongue began to explore my mouth and mine his. Goosebumps covered my entire body, even raised on my scalp through my hair. My heart felt like it’s just ran a marathon because of the heavy pumping feeling running through me. My arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as his hands gently ran through my hair. After what seemed like a lifetime, we moved apart, breathless.
“Wow…” I breathed. Now that was a kiss like I’d never experienced. It left me wanting more…so much more.
“You feel it, too?” Blake smiled his beautiful smile.
“That was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever experienced.”
“I know. I want you to experience that kind of feeling every day…with me.” He looked down at the ground, releasing his grip on me. I instantly lost our magical connection and I wanted it back.
Reaching out, I took his hand in mine. My heart felt like it was about to explode.
“Blake…” I waited for him to look up at me, and when he did, the sadness in his features shattered me right to my core. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, but you need to understand this whole situation is not ideal, especially with me having a boyfriend.”
“Leave him.” The words lifeless and broken. His emerald eyes burned with ferocity, indicating he was determined, in every way possible, to remove me from my current situation.
“I…I can’t. You don’t understand how much danger I would put myself in. You don’t see what goes on behind closed doors every-single-night!” My voice reached its peak, and my eyes misted over. I really didn’t want to cry again, but why did he think it’s so easy for me to do? “I hardly know you!”
“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors. I can see it all up your arms, and I’d hate to see what else you hide under those layers of clothing.” His words were harsh but very accurate.
I turned away from him to walk back to work. I didn’t get very far before he grabbed my arm spinning me around to face him again. His grip wasn’t tight like Jacob’s would’ve been if I’d have walked away from him like that. I’d hate to see what he’d do if I yelled in his face like I’d just done to Blake.
“I’m sorry, Abby. I’ll message you later. I promise to get you out of this.” He placed feather light kisses on my lips, then turned and left. I automatically wanted to run after him and tell him to take me away from it all, from all the hurt and pain I felt every single day. But I’m just not strong enough to break the chains Jacob has wrapped too tightly around me. Chains that were suffocating me with each bruise and hurtful word.
I stood and watched Blake walk away. He turned and glanced back, but then kept going. My heart hurt in every way possible. It was like it had been ripped out and stomped on a hundred times over. I turned around and continued walking back to work. Looking up to the skies, I wished upon everything in the universe that I could escape this hell I was living in.
Chapter Ten
Abby
Three Years Ago
After what seemed like the longest day in history, I arrived home and could hear Mum, Dad and Mel in the kitchen talking, laughing actually. I better go say hello since I haven’t actually seen Mum and Dad lately. I’ve been at Jacob’s the majority of the time. Then there was Melodi. I released a large breath. I’m sure she had an idea of what was going on and it hurt me to not talk to her. Yet, for some reason, I could speak to Blake about it. I guess I didn’t want her to see me that broken.
Our relationship had been strained. I missed our late night chats, eating chocolate, talking about school and boys, and how much we missed Australia. But we’d slowly grown apart over those last few months and I missed her even though she was standing right in front of me.
We would hang out every day. Shopping, movies, dinners, and we thrived off each other. We weren’t one without the other. She was my other half, and my soul felt that missing piece each and every time I pushed her further and further away. I only did it so she wouldn’t get hurt, but deep down I knew I was only hurting myself.
“Abby, is that you?” my mother called.
“Yeah, Mum,” I yelled back as I removed my shoes.
“Oh, good, come in here for a minute.” I could hear she was busy with dinner and it smelt fantastic. My mum was one of the best cooks. I don’t think there was any meal of hers that I didn’t like. Well, to me and the rest of the family she was. We thought she should have been a chef.
Walking into the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks. Jacob was there smiling and playing friendly with my family. Melodi didn’t look too pleased, but she was putting on a fake smile for those in the room. I was momentarily speechless. Jacob came over, placed a kiss on my cheek, shaking me from my brain freeze. His hard, unlikeable eyes burnt into mine.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said, playing nice. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me a hug, or what looked like a genuine hug to my family, but they didn’t feel the pressure he applied to it. “Smile,” he hissed. My stomach twisted into a thousand knots as I placed a fake smile upon my lips like Mel’s.
“Wha…what are you doing here?” I asked, the surprise clear in my voice.
It’s Mum who answers. “He came to surprise you and take you out tonight.” Mum gave us her genuine smile. Little did she know. Because I’m sure if she did, she wouldn’t be smiling about what was actually going on. Instead, she’d be chasing him out of the house with her wooden spoon and Dad might actually invest in a shotgun.
“Take me out?” I glanced up at him, sweetly smiling. While having a serious battle internally with myself, I wanted to tell him to take his surprise and shove it, but I couldn’t. I sighed inwardly in defeat.
“Yep, something special just for my girl.” He pulled me into his embrace once more. “There’s a surprise in your room to start the night off.”
Melodi jumped off the kitchen bench she was sitting on and walked over to me. “Come on, I’ll help you get ready.” Her smile warmed my heart and settled my nerves. I love my sister dearly and felt I should tell her about what was troubling me some day.
I released my grip on Jacob and followed my sister, leaving him with my mum and dad. A part of me wanted to run and never come back.
Entering my room, I gasped at what laid before me. There were bunches of roses placed all over the room filling every space they could, and lying on the bed was a square blue box with a white ribbon sitting beautifully on top.
“Wow…did you help with this?” I looked to Mel and she seemed as equally surprised as me with her mouth hanging open in shock. Shaking her head slowly, her eyes looked like they might pop out of her head.
“No,” she breathed.
“How did he do it then?”
“He was here when I got home, talking to Mum and Dad.”
“Oh,” was all I could say
.
“Go on, open the box,” Mel said, giving me a little shove.
I aimlessly walked over to the box still looking around. My hand was shaking as I opened it. Jacob hadn’t done anything like this for me in a long time. Why now? Inside was a beautiful silk red cocktail dress that took my breath away.
“That’s gorgeous,” Melodi gushed as she stood beside me, her fingers gliding over the material of the dress. “Go have a shower and I’ll help you get ready.” She took the dress from me and practically pushed me out the door.
After I’d cleaned and shaved every part of me, and dressed in the beautiful dress, I stood in front of the mirror. I could see the very faint marks on my arms, but they weren’t too bad. The marks he’d made today hadn’t started to show yet, but I’m sure they would in the coming days.
The dress fitted perfectly, nice and form fitting around the bodice and flowing from the hips down to just above my knees. I picked out a pair of silver heels which matched perfectly. Melodi pulled my hair up while I applied make-up. She was never big on the make-up side of things. She put my hair up in a simple but nice bun. I was ready to go, but my nerves were getting the best of me. I shouldn’t trust him when he was sweet like this. It scared me more, setting me on edge every damn time.
My heart was racing as I walked downstairs into the living area where Jacob was sitting with Mum and Dad. I was trying not to trip over my own feet because I was that unsettled about this whole thing.
“Oh, honey, you look beautiful. You’re one lucky man, Jacob,” Mum gushed. “You better take care of my daughter,” she stated, rushing across and fussing over the dress. She thought so highly of Jacob, but she didn’t see the devil, the other side of him when the switch was flicked.
“Thanks, Mum.”
“Well, you kids better get going,” Mum announced. “Have fun and be safe.” She placed a small kiss on my head and Dad gave me a hug.
Melodi also gave me a hug, which shocked me since we hadn’t been that close for a while. Wrapping our arms around each other, we squeezed tightly. I’m sure she could sense my unease at going with Jacob. We were twins, so we had that special connection, one that could never be broken. She was my other half, my better half, who had always been here for me. I loved her with every fibre of my being.
