“’Bout time you got here!”
Turning around, I came face to face with a wide smile and a face covered in green gunk.
“What the hell, Zoe!” Ryan admonished, shaking his head.
“What?”
When Ryan pointed to her face, her smile vanished and her jaw dropped. “Fuck it!” then she disappeared. The music was still pumping when Ryan put his hand on the small of my back and ushered me inside the door. I hated the fact that the moment he did, the moment my own brother touched me, I shivered. He was the absolute last person on earth who’d ever hurt me, yet one simple touch had me on edge.
Zoe’s home wasn’t what I was expecting. I guess I didn’t really know what to expect, but knowing she operated a gym, I was expecting clean, tidy, and a huge fruit bowl in the centre of the table. That wasn’t at all what we found. The lounge room was covered in clothes. Some on hangers drying while others looked like they hadn’t quite found their way to the washing machine yet. What I assumed to be a coffee table was buried beneath a thick, heavy layer of trashy gossip magazines. And chocolate wrappers. My God! And I thought I was a chocoholic. I had nothing on this girl.
“Sorry, I was cleaning up and then, well…you know.” Zoe came back into the room looking refreshed as she patted her face dry with a yellow towel before tossing it recklessly though a door.
“Geez Zoe, you scared the crap out of me opening the door like that! What if I’d been someone else?”
“Calm your tits, Ryan. No one ever knocks on my door unless it’s the pizza delivery boy. And I haven’t called him today. At least not yet!” She threw a wink at Ryan, seeming to enjoy the way he got all riled up. “Hey Holly. Welcome to my humble abode,” she added, dramatically stretching her arms out and spinning in a circle. When she hugged me, I stood there like a fool. My arms hung limply at my side like I didn’t know what to do.
A moment later, Zoe pulled back and looked at me. Not like a once-over glance you get when you meet someone new, Zoe was full on when she stared. When she tilted her head to the side, her long brown curls dangling everywhere, I would have sworn she could see right through me. There was something intimidating, and frankly kind of terrifying about it. I hated even the possibility that she could see me. See the real me. In all of my fucked-up-ness. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I fought to hold myself together. When I’d first started doing it, it’d been an unconscious habit. Now though, now I knew I was doing it and why, but I couldn’t stop. I guess paying that shrink a couple of hundred dollars an hour had taught me something.
“Is Holly staying in Derek’s room?” Ryan asked, oblivious to my struggle.
“Yep.”
“Come on, Hol. I show you where you can dump your stuff.” Ryan took my hand and led me around the crap, looking slightly disappointed by the whole situation. I wasn’t sure what was coming next. Was there going to be a fold-out couch buried in books or just a junk room with a treadmill collecting dust in the corner?
“Holy shit!” It slipped out before I could stop it. Nothing could have prepared me for the sight on the other side of the closed door.
The heavy caramel curtains were open, letting the room fill with light. In the middle of the room, dominating the space, was a huge bed. What shocked most was the fact this room was spotless. Like immaculately perfect. The blankets on the bed had been tucked in with hospital corners and there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight. The heavy, dark wood dresser against the wall was shining and completely dust free. Sitting on the edge of a leather chair in the corner was a pile of fresh, fluffy white towels. How this room was in the same house as that lounge room, I couldn’t even begin to understand.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan smirked, leaning against the door frame.
“N-nothing,” I stuttered.
“Zoe’s crazy but you’ll learn to love her. She’s harmless.”
“I heard that, Ryan McIntyre!”
“Ah, you love me anyway,” Ryan called out over his shoulder as he handed me my bag. “There’s a bathroom right through there if you want to freshen up.”
“Thanks.” I took my bag and set it down on the bed. It just looked so comfy and warm. Turning around, I realised Ryan had left me to myself. “Hey Ryan?” I called out, hoping he hadn’t gone far.
His head poked around the corner, “Yeah.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For knowing I needed this and getting me out of there even when I didn’t.”
“It’s only for a few days,” he reminded me, sounding incredibly sad.
“I know. But thank you for understanding and not asking.”
He strode into the room like a man on a mission. His chest was puffed out and he was trying to make himself look taller than he was. He stepped straight into my personal space, but didn’t stop there. Instead, he inched closer and wrapped me in his arms, crushing me against his chest. When he placed a kiss against my temple, I shuddered. I was doing so well. Right up until that moment, the anger coursing through my veins had overruled the hurt and the heartbreak I was struggling to keep under control. One simple, innocent, tender kiss was all it took for my eyes to start leaking and tears to stream down my cheeks.
“At some point, Holly, you’re going to have to let someone in.”
“I know.” I hiccupped, burying my face into his shoulder.
For a long time, we stood there silent, Ryan just holding all the shattered parts of me together. Eventually I got my pathetic sobbing under control and stepped back. I must have looked like shit. I certainly felt like it.
“Go have a hot bath. It’ll make you feel better. Zoe’s bound to have some bubbles or stuff in there you can use.”
I couldn’t answer, at least not in words. Instead I nodded and stepped into the gleaming, lemony fresh bathroom and turned on the taps. A long, hot bath and a nap would help. The world always looked better after a nap.
Livid.
Absolutely fucking livid.
It was the only way to describe how I felt when I woke up just before dawn expecting to see Holly still curled up asleep, but instead my room was empty. For a few minutes I stayed exactly where I was. It was so warm and so comfortable I didn’t want to move. Thinking she might be in the bathroom, I waited for her to return. Seconds ticked by and with no sound in the house, no flushing of a toilet or running of a tap, I got up and went searching. After searching the whole house, including the yard, I ran back upstairs, stuffed my feet into my boots and grabbed my phone.
That’s when I saw it.
It was ten to five in the morning, no wonder I still felt like rat shit. But the moment I activated my phone I saw the barrage of messages that had come through during the night. Not one of them was nice. In fact, most were down right disgusting. Tasting the bitter bile in the back of my throat as I flipped through them sadistically, unable to look away, I headed for the bathroom. After spitting out the revolting taste, I rinsed my mouth out with the bottle of spearmint flavoured mouthwash.
Snagging a jumper from the clothes horse in the family room, I was out the door and in my truck before I had time to think. Silencing the radio, I bumped down the drive, my tired eyes suddenly alert as I scoured the surrounds for any sign of Holly. This girl was going to be the death of me. I was doing everything in my power, everything I possibly could to keep her safe—not only from the outside world, which she appeared to have pissed off in some colossal way, but also from herself. Right now, she was her own worst enemy. Sure, she liked to act big and tough and pretend that nothing hurt her, but I’d had a sneak peek at the girl behind the mask. She’d let me in and it broke me seeing what was on the other side. Holly was pretty amazing once you got past the bullshit. If only I could convince her of that, I wondered if things could be different.
I couldn’t remember ever driving this slow. It was still dark out and the lights from the ute lit up the road. Rabbits were everywhere, bouncing around the road recklessly. No wonder so many ended up squashed. Yet there
was no sign of Holly.
I made it all the way to the McIntyre place without seeing anyone. As soon as I turned into the drive I noticed lights on in the main house, so I headed in that direction. I didn’t realise how much I wanted to walk through the front door and see Holly sitting there in her pink pyjamas, sipping hot chocolate, safe and sound. Pulling the ute to a halt, I jumped out, running a hand through my hair. For some bizarre reason I didn’t want to walk in there looking like I just rolled out of bed, even though that’s exactly what had happened.
I didn’t even make it halfway to the front step when a shoulder collided with my side, sending me sprawling to the ground.
“What the fuck!” I rolled over, clutching at my side, my attacker still on top of me, anchoring me to the ground.
When he pulled back I saw the face of a very angry, very pissed off man. Connor was furious. The vein in his forehead was sticking out so far, I was worried it was actually going to pop. He wrenched back his arm, clenched his fist. I knew the punch was coming before it landed but I did nothing to stop him. Maybe I was really that fucked up that I welcomed it. He threw it.
“Come with me.” His command left no room for argument. If he was out here beating my ass, I’m guessing Holly was home and she was safe. No thanks to me. Falling in step beside him wasn’t as easy as it looked. He took long, determined strides as he crossed the drive and stepped into the shed. Inside he made his way to the back, where I found he had a makeshift apartment there. It was pretty nice, actually. I made a mental note to look into doing something similar in the back of ours. It’d beat sleeping in the swag in the back of the ute all the time.
He handed me a mug of the foulest coffee I’d ever tasted. The one sip I’d managed to get down was gritty and I thought I was chewing the beans rather than drinking. Quietly, trying not to offend him, I sat it on the counter behind me and leant back.
It was a Mexican standoff.
I had questions. Lots and lots of questions, but there was no way I was going first. I wasn’t that stupid.
“What happened this time?” he grunted out. Conversation wasn’t Connor’s strong point.
“What do you mean?” I genuinely had no idea what the fuck he was on about.
“Don’t try and be cute with me. That shit might work on Gage and Ryan, but they aren’t here. So Jack, why don’t you tell me, right from the start, why my little sister came walking home in the middle of the night in the rain completely alone.”
“She wasn’t supposed to.”
“Holly’s never done what she’s supposed to do,” he scoffed. “That’s why we look out for her.”
It was like a hit to the solar plexus. They protected Holly, they wrapped her up in cotton wool not because she was broken, not even because she needed them to. No. These guys treated her like she was the most precious thing in the world because to them, she was. In the end, it was that simple.
Feeling like the lowest form of scum on the planet, I slid down the cupboard ’til my ass was on the cold concrete floor. It was uncomfortable and horrible and exactly where I belonged. “I was going to bring her home. I promised Gage I would.”
“Why didn’t you then?” Gone was the anger and frustration. It was replaced with curiosity.
“She was gone.”
“What do you mean, she was gone?”
“She told me everything.”
“Everything?” Connor couldn’t hide the hurt and astonishment from his voice. Honestly, I was still processing it. I was worried there was more but what info she had shared, it was enough to give me nightmares for weeks.
“I mean, I don’t know if it was everything, but she told me a lot. A hell of a lot.”
“Fuck me.”
“Anyway, after she finished crying and calmed down, she crashed. Gage came in to get her to bring home, but we were both too chicken shit to wake her. As much as he didn’t want to, Gage agreed to let her sleep and I’d bring her home when she woke up.”
“So what happened?”
“I fell asleep, and when I woke up, she was gone.”
“Didn’t you look for her?”
“Of course I fucking did!” That hurt. Actually, it stung like a bitch. What sort of asshole did Connor think I was? I might have fucked up, but I sure as shit wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care. He held up his hands in surrender encouraging me to go on. “I waited a couple of minutes to see if she’d come back. I thought she was in the bathroom or something. When she didn’t, I searched the house then got in the ute and headed this way. Please, Connor, just tell me she’s inside. And she’s safe?” I was begging in a whiny, pathetic, girly voice and I didn’t even give a shit. If grovelling is what I’d been reduced to, then grovelling it was.
Connor flopped on his bed, the springs groaning under his weight. As he rubbed his hands over his face, my phone beeped…again. It hadn’t fucking stopped. By the number of unanswered messages and unseen videos, this was getting out of control.
“How do I help her?” Connor asked wearily, sitting up.
He was no longer pissed, and for that I was exceptionally grateful. The last thing I needed this morning was to have my ass handed to me. Another couple of hours’ sleep, definitely. Getting my ass kicked by a guy twice my size because he thought I fucked over his sister, not today.
“I don’t honestly know. The shit that happened, well, let’s just say it wasn’t good.”
“Considering I found her in the emergency room after having her stomach pumped because she’d washed down a handful of pills with Dad’s whiskey, I’d suggest that’s an understatement.”
“Yeah, she told me about that.”
“She did?” Connor seemed genuinely shocked. I guess part of me was too. Holly was usually so closed off and kept this sort of shit to herself, but for some reason she’d chosen to trust me with her painful secrets. It was both a blessing and a curse. I wasn’t sure why I was the one she’d confided in. I guess at least she was telling someone. Someone who wanted to help. And I really did. More than anything. The more she shared, the more compelled I was to save her.
“Yeah.”
“She tell you why? Why she tried to k-k-kill herself?” Connor stumbled over the words and I couldn’t blame him. If I was in his position I wouldn’t have a clue what to say either. I guess that was the advantage of not having any brothers or sisters. I’d never be in Connor’s shitty position.
“It wasn’t about her trying to kill herself. More she just needed it to stop, she needed a break, and she didn’t know what else to do. Everything was getting worse. The abuse. The taunts. The threats. The attacks. She didn’t know how else to escape.” Even though I didn’t agree with Holly’s attempt to take her own life, I understood her reasoning. She couldn’t see another way out. She felt like she was stuck in this repetitive cycle. For Holly, the pills weren’t the easy way out, they were her only way out.
“Why didn’t she talk to us?”
“I don’t think she knew how.”
Time passed. My butt was numb and my whole body felt weary. I was wrecked. A combination of not enough sleep and too many things going on at once. Letting out a massive yawn, I found my feet. Now I knew Holly was okay, I was heading home. I wanted a shower, some food, and sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. School wasn’t happening for me today.
I was almost out the door when my phone chirped again. I had a good mind to turn the damn thing off completely, but knew I had to be responsible and leave it on. It was one rule Dad enforced with an iron fist. Driving on the roads around here, dealing with the cattle…hell, even joyriding the four-wheeler through the paddocks were dangerous enough. At least if I had my phone handy I could call for help if I ever needed it. Over the years I’d broken most of Dad’s rules, but not this one. I dug it out of my pocket and checked in.
Immediately I wish I hadn’t.
It was a link to a video.
Another fucking video.
“What is it?”
“Huh?” I’d compl
etely forgotten Connor was still there and now he was watching my every move.
“Well?”
“Uh…it’s nothing.”
“Bullshit!” Connor was off the bed and in my face before I knew what was happening. Snatching the phone from my hand, he clicked the link.
“Don’t do it,” I pleaded. I had no idea what it showed, but from the image that popped up, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Connor ignored my warning, opened the link, and turned the volume up. Someone was recording from behind. Up ahead I could see Holly walking down the corridor. She was limping slightly, favouring her left leg. Despite the obvious pain, she kept trudging on. Her uniform hung off her thin frame, like it was bought for someone three sizes bigger than her. Her hair was scrunched up in a ponytail and swung from side to side with every step she took. Balling up my fists, I buried my hands in my pockets. I had no idea what was about to happen, but my gut told me it wasn’t good.
You could hear the snickering coming through the speakers and it was deafening. I noticed Connor’s fingers turn white as he attempted to crush my phone to smithereens.
“Make sure you get this,” some girl giggled just off camera.
The camera wobbled, it wasn’t the world’s best recording, but it was more than doing the job. Someone with a hoodie stepped in front of the camera as they rounded the corner. I felt sick. My stomach was churning, and I wasn’t entirely convinced I’d be able to watch without throwing up all over my boots. I couldn’t tear my eyes away though. It was like a train crash. Or watching one of those horrible reality TV shows. You know it’s bad. You know it’s going to hurt, but for some reason, like the sucker you are, you can’t turn away.
The stairs came in view and you could just see the top of Holly’s head as she descended. Her arms were nowhere in sight, and I could only imagine them being wrapped around her chest like she did so often. I wondered if she was even aware she did it. It was almost like second nature to her now. On the screen there was commotion and name calling going on around her, but Holly didn’t look up. Not once did she break stride or falter. She just kept weaving her way between the other girls as she navigated the crowded stairwell. When the hooded girl came back into view, I knew it was about to happen. Gritting my teeth, I fought every urge I had to throw my phone against the wall and watch it shatter. If I thought that would make this easier, I could pretty much guarantee I wouldn’t have a working phone right about now.
Fighting Back (Meet the McIntyres Book 3) Page 18
