I tried.
I really did.
I couldn’t hold back a second longer.
Standing up, I kicked my chair away, sending it clattering into the wall behind me. Everyone took a deliberate step backwards. Everyone except Caitlyn. Did this fucking chick have a death wish? Instead of looking terrified, which based on the bullshit she was spewing she fucking damn well should be, she swivelled around on my desk and crossed her legs. Slowly. Deliberately. She made sure I knew she had lime green underwear on. The thing she didn’t count on though was the fact that I didn’t give a flying fuck.
“What…the…fuck…did…you…just…say?” I spat out, tiny bits of spittle dotting her face.
“N-nothing.” Now she looked scared.
Good!
“You know absolutely nothing about Holly. You don’t know what she’s been through. And you sure as hell don’t know anything about the amazing person she is just to have survived. She’s so much more than you could ever hope to be. You, Caitlyn, need to stop acting like a slut, do up your shirt, pull your skirt down, clean that shit off your face, and be the girl you used to be. The one who used to be my friend. Because this, this person right here, I don’t know her and I don’t want to.”
She looked like I’d slapped her. In a way I guess I had. It’d been a long time coming. The way she’d been acting and some of the things she’d been saying needed to be stopped. I’d hoped if I ignored it long enough I wouldn’t have to be the one to bring her down a notch or two. When she’d put a target on Holly though, I couldn’t bite my tongue a moment longer.
Sliding off the table, she tugged her skirt down. It didn’t help, but it was start. She was trying. Or pretending to. Right now I didn’t care though. I couldn’t. She needed to sort her shit out. I couldn’t do it for her. All I needed from her was to leave me, and Holly, the hell out of whatever it was she was up to.
I bent down and grabbed my bag before heading towards the door. I wasn’t staying for this. How was I supposed to concentrate now? I needed space. Actually, what I needed was to get on the back of my bike and get dirty. That always made me feel better. Surely that would help. People parted as I pushed past them. No one was game to say anything.
“Jack!” a wavering voice called out behind me.
Against my better judgement I turned around. Caitlyn strutted over to where I was, boobs pushed out, sly smirk on her stained lips. She was back to looking as smug as ever, like the last five minutes just hadn’t happened. “Thanks for last night.” With that she threw herself against me, smashing her mouth against mine.
It took me a moment.
A moment too long. As soon as my brain kicked into gear though, I grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her away.
“Don’t ever touch me again, Caitlyn,” I growled as I stepped out the door and away from the classroom.
I was fuming. I think literal steam was billowing from my ears as I crossed the deserted grounds to the car park. Sliding behind the wheel, I waited for the calm to arrive. It didn’t…if anything my frustrations just kept rising. Like I was trapped in my own head and the rage was building. Clenching my fists together, I punched the steering while letting out a loud, painful howl. I didn’t think it was possible to be in physical pain from a simple kiss, yet I was.
Scrubbing furiously at my mouth, I turned the revision mirror around to make sure there was no trace of Caitlyn left. It felt like poison on my lips. A timid knock at the window startled me. In truth, anyone voluntarily coming within a hundred metres of me right now would have shocked the shit out of me.
“What!” I fumed, turning to see who the brave idiot was. “Amber?”
Fuck me! This will be good. Cracking the window, I locked the door. I didn’t need two psychos assaulting me in the space of an hour. I’d talk to her but I was keeping the safety barrier of the steel door between us.
“What do you want, Amber?” I sounded weary. In truth, I was. Really fucking tired.
All I wanted was a simple, quiet, and calm life. One where I got up in the morning, did my chores, went to school, hung out with my friends, maybe kick a football around or take the bikes for a spin through the paddocks before calling it a day. A simple childhood really. Instead I was dealing with bullshit from the time I woke up ’til the time I closed my eyes. More often than not in the back of my truck, away from the people who were supposed to be the adults in my life. It was fucking wrong that this had ended up being my life.
“I…I…” She was nervous. Her eyes darted around everywhere but focused on me. She picked at a stray thread on the corner of her shirt and chewed on her bottom lip. If I was in a better mood, hell, if I was a better person, I’d climb out of the ute and promise her that no matter what she said next, it’d be okay. I wasn’t that person though. I wasn’t going to promise things would be okay when I wasn’t sure they would be. Broken promises hurt the most. I still wore the scars to prove it.
“Just tell me.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about last night. About the things that Caitlyn—that we said about you. You’re not a bad guy. In fact, you’re a pretty good guy. You didn’t deserve that.”
Sighing heavily, I wanted to dismiss her apology. I didn’t want it and I sure as hell didn’t need it. But one look at her doe eyes and the sadness weighing on her shoulders, I knew I couldn’t just dismiss her. “It’s fine, Amber. Let’s just forget it.”
Reaching down, I fingered the keys and started the ignition. She’d said what she needed to say and now I needed to get the fuck out of here. As quickly as possible. Shifting the car into reverse, I’d backed up probably five metres.
“Wait!”
“Oh, what now? You apologised. I accepted it. Time to get over it.”
It was a blatant lie. I wasn’t going to let this go in a hurry. I certainly wasn’t going to let it go. Letting my guard down around people had always been a challenge for me, now with this bullshit on top of it, it was going to be almost impossible.
“Holly!”
Well, that got my attention. “What about Holly?”
“The videos. The pictures. The messages.” My stomach rolled. I knew what was coming. In my gut I knew it. Knowing did absolutely nothing to prepare me for it, though. “There’s more coming.”
Nope.
Did not fucking see that coming.
All I could see right now was red.
Fire truck fucking red.
No! No more. She didn’t deserve this.
Yanking on the park brake, I killed the ignition and was out of the car before I even knew what I was doing. When I pinned Amber’s tiny body to the door, I watched her shiver. I hope it was from fucking fear, ’cause right now, right now I was worse than the monsters under the bed and the bogey man combined.
“What do you mean? What’s next?” I didn’t recognise my own voice. It was full of pure hatred and disgust. I didn’t even bother trying to mask it.
“I…I…”
“Don’t fucking get shy now, Amber. What have you got planned?”
A hand landed on my shoulder and I spun around and swung. It could have been a teacher. It could have been my dad. Hell, it could have been Holly herself and I still would have let fly. I was vibrating with rage.
“Holy fuck, Jack!” Zach stumbled a few steps, clutching his jaw.
Even though guilt started to invade, it didn’t hold a candle to the fury that was boiling my blood. Turning my attention back to Amber, she hadn’t moved a muscle. She hadn’t dared to. I couldn’t blame her.
Trying to rein in the anger coursing through my veins, I looked at her. “Get in.”
Amber, to her credit, didn’t argue. Instead she opened the back door and slipped inside. Once I was back in the car, I looked over at Zach. He was watching everything. I might have been pissed as hell with Amber, but I’d never hurt her. I was an asshole, I wouldn’t deny that, but I’d never hit a girl, no matter how much I wanted to. “Where are we going?” she asked nervously as I start
ed the engine
“The McIntyre place.”
“What? Why?”
“This shit, this game which you obviously find so funny, it’s going to get someone killed. It has to end. And it has to end now.” I didn’t give her details. I didn’t need to. All she needed to get into that tiny little brain of hers was this fun game they’d been playing, it wasn’t a game anymore. It had real world consequences. And some consequences could never be undone. A simple sorry wouldn’t fix some things.
“Oh.”
With the music turned down low, I navigated the streets quickly and minutes later we were tearing along down the highway towards the McIntyre farm. I might look like I was in control right now, the truth was I had no clue what the hell I was doing. Not one. I was terrified what was going to happen next. I didn’t want any of the details I knew I was going to get. I sure as hell didn’t want to know how bad things were going to get.
It seemed like the drive was over in seconds. The usual twenty-minute silence usually gave me time to think and figure shit out. Today though, it was over before I got anywhere. My mind was blank and my gut churned, making me want to throw up. “You coming?” I asked Amber as she fumbled with her belt.
When her feet hit the dirt I half expected her to take off in the other direction. Instead she stood tall and reached for my hand. As much as I did not want to touch her right now, this wasn’t about that, this was about needing someone to anchor her. I didn’t want to be that anchor. She was responsible, at least partly, for everything that was going wrong. She was responsible for hurting people I cared about, hurting me. Still, I wasn’t that much of a prick that I’d leave her out there standing on her own.
Together we walked towards the house. I had no idea if anyone was home. I should have called. I mean, it was still early afternoon, and around here people had shit to do. It wasn’t like they spent all their time sitting on the porch drinking beer and contemplating the universe. I felt her tremble and found myself reassuring her that it would be all okay. We’d fix this. I wasn’t sure if I was saying it for her benefit or my own.
Kicking the mud off my shoes against the bottom step, I led Amber towards the door. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong, so why did I feel like I was walking into my own execution? When I raised my hand to knock on the wooden frame, I heard commotion from the inside.
“What the fuck! Come on, Mum, you can’t be okay with this?”
“She’s a teenage girl. Teenage girls are horrible beasts. They’re vindictive and spiteful and hurtful.”
“Doesn’t make it okay.”
“Never said it did. It’s just how it is, though.”
Wow! I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping on this conversation, but I couldn’t back away. It was obviously a conversation which had been brewing for some time and needed to be had. I guess having Holly, the obvious subject of the conversation, safely out of earshot meant there was no holding back.
“Do you get that this…this teenage girl crap almost killed Holly? Do you get that?” Someone was frustrated.
I was torn. I wanted to barrel in there and add my two cents worth. I wanted to drag Amber in and make her explain. Force her to see all the damage their game had caused. Then again, I wanted to run back to my ute, jump in, and get the hell out of there as quickly as I possibly could.
“Of course I get that, Beau. But I didn’t get to see it. Not like you did.” She hiccupped. “I wasn’t there because you didn’t tell me. You didn’t call and tell me my own daughter had tried to take her own life and was in the hospital. You didn’t tell me that she’d been physically and emotionally abused for months. Months! How could I help, when you didn’t even tell me?”
Silence fell and I couldn’t stop staring at my boots. I wasn’t even in the room and the heaviness of the whole mess was suffocating me. Risking a glance at Amber, she had silent tears streaming down her cheeks, leaving a trail of dark black lines. She yanked her hand from mine and batted them away, embarrassed.
“Mum…”
“Don’t, Connor. Just…don’t.”
I didn’t have a chance to make a decision. Hot pink manicured nails reached around me and knocked loudly. I was surprised. And impressed. Amber had balls. Walking into this wasn’t going to be easy, yet she’d made the choice to do it. Thank fuck. I wasn’t exactly sure I would have.
Whispering echoed through the door but I couldn’t make out the words. I didn’t need to. When the door flung open and smashed me in the shoulder, I groaned in pain. Gage looked like a caged animal, one who’d been underfed for months and just got a whiff of his next meal. Out of all the McIntyre brothers, Gage was the one I’d been least afraid of…up until now anyway.
“Jack? What are you doing here?”
“Um…urgh…” Shit! Where were my words? I knew I had them. I was a big boy. I could use big words.
Amber nudged me out of the way and stepped in front of me. Thankfully she was only a tiny thing, even in those ridiculously high shoes I could see over her head. “I wanted to talk to you about Holly. I know what’s going on. And I need your help to stop it.”
“Who the fuck are you?” Gage sneered. I felt bad for Amber, she didn’t deserve this. Don’t get me wrong, she deserved to be made to feel like shit and be held accountable for her part in this whole mess, but it wasn’t all on her.
“Amber Wright. I go to school with Jack and Holly. I know who’s got all the stuff that happened at her boarding school and is now showing it around.”
“Jack?” Gage was looking to me for answers. Problem was, I didn’t have any. Amber had just said more to him in the space of thirty seconds than she had to me. All I could offer him was a half-assed shrug.
Without another word, Gage held open the door and ushered us inside. The moment I was in the house I could feel the tension in the air. It was thick. Suffocating. Stifling. Shuffling into the kitchen, my feet felt like they were encased in concrete. Amber, on the other hand, had her head held high as she clattered across the floor. Sitting around the kitchen table, a table covered with coffee mugs, milk, sugar bowl, and a packet of biscuits, was the entire McIntyre clan. Well, all except Ryan and Holly.
“Hi,” I choked out nervously.
“Jack? What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in forever! How’s your mother?” Mrs McIntyre gushed, pushing her chair back and coming over to kiss my cheek.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her, but I knew I’d never seen her looking like this. She looked old, haggard even. I guess in the scheme of things I couldn’t blame her. They were sitting here discussing her daughter’s suicide attempt. An attempt that never should have happened. One we were all terrified might happen again. Only we were determined to not let that occur. We didn’t even have to say it aloud to know we were all on the same page.
“Mum’s fine. She and Dad are in Paris at the moment. At least I think it’s Paris. Somewhere in France anyway.”
“Oh how lovely. Hear that, Adrian? Some couples do take romantic holidays together.” I caught the barb in her words, and by the sour look on Adrian’s face, he didn’t miss it either. I didn’t have it in my heart to tell her the truth about their so called romantic holiday. Now wasn’t the time.
“Hey, I’m Payton, Beau’s wife. And this is Carly. She’s Gage’s…you’re Gage’s what, exactly?” Payton asked Carly as she introduced them to a wide-eyed Amber, who was standing stiff as a board beside me. When I reached down and put my hand on the small of her back, she jumped. I hadn’t meant to startle her, I guess everyone was on edge.
“I’m Gage’s. That’s enough.”
“For now,” Connor muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for anyone to catch it. Well, anyone but Gage, from the evil look he was shooting in his brother’s direction
“Any who, we were talking about this mess with Holly and how we clean it up.” Beau was obviously the man of the house at this point, as he collapsed back into the seat at the head of the table and redirect
ed the conversation.
“Ryan rang last night,” Connor began. “He said she was doing okay, all things considered. She’d opened up a bit and told him she didn’t want to let it win. She wanted to beat this, she just didn’t know how.”
“Well, that’s a good start!” Payton chimed in, looking way to chipper for this conversation. Even though I’d met her before, and eaten the deliciousness she concocted, I’d never considered her an air head. She always came across so switched on and down to earth. Today though, she appeared to be off in her own little world, where unicorns existed and farted glitter.
“Yeah .it is. The downside is, she doesn’t think she can do it on her own.”
“She doesn’t have to!” Shit! That came out of my mouth. I hadn’t meant it to. I’d meant to just sit here and shut up.
“Jack’s right. She’s not going to have to. We’re going to be there right beside her all the way. She doesn’t have to take a single fucking step on her own. And if it gets too much, I, for one, will carry her for a while,” Beau declared.
Ebony looked incredibly sad. She wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye as she picked at the edge of the table cloth.
“I’m in!” Connor added quickly.
Not to be outdone, Gage joined in. “Me too!”
“And we know Ryan’d do anything for her. So she’s definitely not facing this alone.”
“What about me?” Carly asked daringly. “What? You think just because she’s your sister you’re the only ones who can protect her? Well, let me tell you something. Payton and I are just as fucking capable as you, in some ways more so. So mark us both down on Team Holly too. We’re her family too. Well, Payton is, anyhow.”
Carly was a fucking firecracker. I wish I had the chance to get to know her under happier circumstances. I bet she had some quick quips in her repertoire which could cut a man off at his knees. One she delivered all while wearing that adorable, ‘I’m so innocent’ smile she’d perfected.
Clearing his throat, Beau shifted in his seat. “Okay, so we know we’re all on Team Holly. But it’s not enough. This shit will keep coming unless we stop it. Anyone got any ideas how?”
Fighting Back (Meet the McIntyres Book 3) Page 22
