Faery Tales

by Carol Ann Duffy

  ‘Rookity-coo, Rookity-coo!

  A perfect foot in a golden shoe.

  Three times has the good Prince tried,

  And now he’s found his rightful bride.’

  When they had sung this, they flew down and perched on Ashputtel’s shoulders, one on the left and one on the right, and there they stayed.

  On Ashputtel’s wedding day, the two nasty sisters came, hoping to suck up to her and have a share in her good fortune. As the bridal procession was entering the church, the eldest sister was on the right and the younger on the left; and the two doves flew at them and pecked out one of each of their eyes. And as they were all coming out of the church, the elder sister was on the left and the younger on the right, and the doves swooped again and stabbed out their other eyes. And so, because of their cruelty and deceit, they were punished with blindness for the rest of their long, dark, mean days.

  A Riddling Tale

  Now picture this: three women were turned into flowers which grew in a field.

  And one of them was allowed to spend each night in her own home.

  But once, when her night was nearly over, and the day was coming, forcing her back to the field to be a flower again with her companions, she said to her husband, ‘If you will come early this morning and pick me, I shall be set free. I will be able to stay with you for ever.’

  So her husband did this.

  The riddle of the tale is: How did her husband recognise her when all three flowers were identical?

  Here is the answer: Because the wife was at home during the night, no dew fell on her, like it did on the other two.

  And that is how her husband knew her. So there

  The Mouse, the Bird and the Sausage

  Once upon a time, a mouse, a bird and a sausage became friends. They set up house together and lived in perfect peace, happiness and prosperity. It was the bird’s job to fly to the forest every day and bring back wood. The mouse had to fetch water, light the fire, and lay the table; the sausage had to do the cooking.

  But those who don’t appreciate how well off they are are always tempted by something different. One day, the bird met another bird in the forest, and told him all about his excellent circumstances in life. After he’d stopped his bragging, however, the second bird called him a fool to do all the hard work, while the other two obviously had it easy at home.

  When the mouse had fetched the water and made up her fire, she went to rest in her little room until they called her to lay the table. The sausage stayed by the pot, made sure that the food was well cooked, and just before dinner time, it rolled itself once or twice through the broth to give it extra flavour. When the bird flew home and put down his load, they sat down at the table, and after a good meal, they slept well till the next morning. It really was a splendid existence for them all.

  But the next day, the bird, because of what the other bird had said, refused to go into the forest. He’d been their skivvy for long enough, he said, and they weren’t going to take the proverbial out of him any longer. It was time to change and arrange things in a different way. The mouse and the sausage pleaded with him; but in spite of all they said, the bird was determined to have his own way. So they drew lots to decide who would do what; and the result was that the sausage was to fetch wood, the mouse was to cook, and the bird was to draw water.

  Now look what happened. The sausage went out to the forest for wood, the bird made up the fire, and the mouse put on the broth in the pot. Then the mouse and the bird waited for the sausage to come home with the wood. But the sausage was away for such a long time that they were both worried something had transpired, and the bird flew out part of the way to search for it. Not far off, he met a dog who had decided the sausage was fair game, grabbed hold of it and eaten it. The bird accused the dog of murder, but it was all to no good. The dog just said he’d found forged documents on the sausage, so it deserved to die.

  The bird sadly picked up the wood and flew home to tell the mouse what had happened. They were both very distressed, but agreed to make the best of things and to stay together. And so the bird laid the table and the mouse prepared the food. She decided she would flavour it by getting into the pot like the sausage used to do; but before she had even reached the middle of the vegetables, she burned her fur and boiled her skin and lost her life in the attempt.

  When the bird came to carry in their dinner, there was no sign of the cook. In his panic, the bird scattered wood everywhere, calling and searching, but the mouse couldn’t be found. Because of the bird’s carelessness, a fire had started and he rushed to fetch water to put it out. But the bucket fell into the well, and he tumbled in after it, and as he could not manage to scramble out again, he drowned there.

  Iron Hans

  There was once a King whose castle was next to a great forest which was full of all kinds of wild animals. One day, the King sent out a huntsman to shoot a deer for him, but the huntsman never returned. ‘Perhaps he’s had an accident,’ said the King and sent out two more huntsmen to find him. But they didn’t come back either. So on the third day, the King sent for all his huntsmen and ordered, ‘Scour the whole forest, and don’t stop searching till you find all three of them.’ But none of these huntsmen came back, and not one of the pack of hounds they’d taken with them was ever seen again. From then on, no one dared to enter the forest. There it stood, dark and silent and empty, with only a solitary eagle or hawk flying over it occasionally.

  After many years, a huntsman from another country came before the King. He asked to stay at his court and volunteered to enter the dangerous forest. The King was reluctant to allow this, saying, ‘The forest is unlucky. You would do no better than all the others, I fear, and you’d never get out.’ But the huntsman replied, ‘Sir, I will go at my own risk. I am frightened of nothing.’

  So the huntsman went into the hushed, gloomy forest with his dog. The dog quickly picked up a scent and followed it, but after running a few yards, it was standing in front of a deep pool and could go no further. Suddenly, a naked arm shot out of the water, grabbed the dog and dragged it under. When the huntsman saw this, he went back and got three men to come with buckets to bail the water out of the pool. When they had scooped deep enough to see the bottom, they discovered a wild man lying there. His body was the colour of rusty iron and his hair hung over his face right down to his knees. They tied him up with ropes and pulled him away to the castle. Everyone there was astonished to see the wild man, but the King had him locked up in an iron cage in the courtyard. It was forbidden, on pain of death, to open the door, and the Queen herself was to guard the key. From then on, everyone could visit the forest in safety.

  The King had a son who was eight years old. One day, the boy was playing in the courtyard with his golden ball, when it bounced into the cage. He ran up to the cage and said, ‘Can I have my ball back?’ ‘No,’ answered the wild man. ‘Not unless you open this door for me.’ But the boy replied, ‘No, I won’t do that. The King has forbidden it,’ and he ran away. The next day he came back and asked for his ball, and the wild man said, ‘Open my door.’ But the boy refused. On the third day, the King had ridden out to hunt, and the boy came again and said, ‘I can’t open your door even if I wanted to, because I don’t have the key.’ Then the wild man replied, ‘It’s under your mother’s pillow – you can get it from there.’ The boy was so keen to have his ball back that he threw all sense and caution to the winds and fetched the key. The door was difficult to open and he hurt his finger doing it. When it was open, the wild man jumped out, tossed him his golden ball and hurried away. The boy was frightened now, and ran behind him crying, ‘Oh, wild man, don’t leave, or else I shall be beaten!’ The wild man turned round, picked him up, put him on his rusty shoulders and strode quickly into the forest. When the King came home, he saw the empty cage and asked the Queen what had happened. She knew nothing at all about it and searched for the key, but it had disappeared. She called for her son, but he did not reply. The King sent his s
ervants to hunt for him in the fields and countryside, but they could not find him. Everyone could guess what had happened and the whole court was bowed down with grief.

  When the wild man was back in the dark forest, he took the boy down from his shoulders and said to him, ‘You will not see your mother and father again, but you can stay with me because you freed me, and I feel something for you. If you do everything I tell you to do, you shall get along fine. I have more gold and treasure than anyone else in the world.’ Then he made a bed of moss for the boy to sleep on.

  The next morning, the wild man took the boy to a spring and said, ‘Look – this golden spring is as bright and clear as crystal. I want you to stay here and make sure nothing falls into it, or it will get polluted. Every evening I’ll come back here to see if you have obeyed my instructions.’ The boy sat down beside the spring. Sometimes he saw a golden fish or a golden snake in the water, and he was careful to let nothing fall in. After a while, his finger began to hurt so much that he dipped it into the water without thinking. He quickly pulled it out again, but saw that it had turned golden all over, and he couldn’t wipe it off no matter how hard he tried. In the evening, Iron Hans came back and stared at him. ‘What has happened to the spring?’ he asked. ‘Nothing, nothing,’ said the boy, hiding his finger behind his back. But the wild man said, ‘You have dipped your finger into the water. I’ll let it pass this time, but make sure you don’t let anything touch the spring again.’

  At daybreak next morning, the boy was already sitting by the spring. His finger began to hurt him again. He rubbed it on his head and, by bad luck, a hair floated down into the spring. He pulled it out quickly, but it was completely golden. Iron Hans came back and he already knew what had happened. ‘You have dropped a hair into the spring,’ he said. ‘I’ll let you watch the spring once more, but if it happens a third time then the spring is polluted and you cannot stay with me any longer.’

  On the third morning, the boy sat by the spring and didn’t move his finger however badly it hurt him. But the time went very slowly, and he grew bored and began staring at his own reflection in the water. And as he leaned further and further over, trying to stare right into his eyes, his long hair tumbled down from his shoulders into the spring. He pulled himself up quickly, but all the hair on his head was already golden and shone like the sun. You can imagine how terrified the poor boy was! He took out his handkerchief and tied his hair up so that the man wouldn’t see it. But when he came, he already knew what had happened, and said, ‘Untie your handkerchief.’ Then the golden hair streamed out, and although the boy tried to make excuses for himself, it was no good. ‘You have failed the test and can stay here no more. Go out alone into the world and find out what poverty is like. But because you have a good heart, and I mean you well, I will permit you one thing. If you are ever in trouble, come to the forest and shout “Iron Hans!” and I will come and help you. My powers are great – greater than you know – and I have more gold and silver than I need.’

  So the Prince left the forest, and walked along the highways and byways until at last he arrived at a great city. He looked for work there, but as he had learnt no trade, he could find none. In the end, he went to the palace and asked if they would have him. The courtiers didn’t know what job to give him, but they liked him and let him stay. Then the cook employed him, getting him to carry wood and water and sweep out the ashes.

  One day, when no one else was to hand, the cook ordered him to carry the food in to the royal table. Because he didn’t want his golden hair to be seen, the boy kept on his hat. This had never happened in the King’s presence before, and he said, ‘When you serve at the royal table, you must take off your hat.’ ‘Oh, sir,’ the boy answered. ‘I can’t. I’ve got terrible dandruff.’ When he heard this, the King sent for the cook and told him off, asking him what he was thinking of to employ such a boy, and ordering him to sack him at once. But the cook felt sorry for the boy and swapped him for the gardener’s lad.

  So now the boy had to work in the garden, even in bad weather, planting and watering and digging and hoeing. One summer’s day when he was all alone, it was so warm that he took off his hat to get some fresh air on his head. The sunlight glistened and flashed on his golden hair, and the glittering rays came in through the Princess’s window. She jumped up to see what it was, noticed the boy and called out to him, ‘Boy! Bring me a bunch of flowers.’ He quickly pulled on his hat, picked some wild flowers and tied them together. As he was carrying them up the steps, the gardener saw him and said, ‘How can you take the King’s daughter such common flowers? Go and find the prettiest and rarest you can for her.’ ‘Oh no,’ replied the boy. ‘Wild flowers have the strongest perfume. She’ll like these best.’ When he got to her room, the Princess said, ‘Take off your hat. It’s rude to keep it on in my presence.’ ‘I can’t,’ he said again. ‘I have dandruff on my head.’ But she snatched his hat and pulled it off; and then his gorgeous golden hair cascaded down to his shoulders. He tried to run out, but the Princess held him by the arm and gave him a handful of sovereigns. He went away with them, but he didn’t care about the gold. So he took them to the gardener and said, ‘Here, these are a present for your children to play with.’ Next day, the Princess again called to him that he was to bring her a bunch of wild flowers; and when he brought them she grabbed at his hat, but he held onto it tightly with both hands. She gave him another pile of gold coins, but he didn’t want to keep them and gave them to the gardener again as toys for his children. On the third day, things were just the same – she couldn’t pull off his hat, and he wouldn’t take her gold.

  Not long after this, the whole country went to war. The King gathered his troops together, not knowing whether he’d be able to stand up to the enemy army, which was far bigger in numbers than his own. Then the gardener’s boy said, ‘I am grown up now and want to fight in this war too. Give me a horse.’ The others laughed and said, ‘Look for one when we’ve gone. We’ll leave one behind in the stable for you.’ When they had set off, he went to the stable and led out the horse. It was lame in one foot and limped – hobbledy-clop-clop-clop, hobbledy-clop-clop-clop. But he climbed on and rode away to the dark forest. When he came to the edge, he called out ‘Iron Hans!’ three times, so loudly that his voice echoed among all the trees. Suddenly the wild man appeared and said, ‘What is your request?’ ‘I need a fine, strong horse, for I am going to war.’ ‘You shall have it, and you shall have even more than you ask for.’ Then the wild man went back into the forest, and it wasn’t long before a groom appeared, leading a powerful horse that snorted and pranced and neighed. Behind him, there followed a great troop of warriors, all in armour, their swords flashing in the sun. The youth gave his lame horse to the groom, mounted the warhorse and rode off at the head of his soldiers. When he arrived at the battlefield, many of the King’s men had already fallen and the rest were close to defeat. The young man galloped up with his troops of iron, charging here and there among the enemy like thunder and lightning, and he struck down everyone who challenged him. They began to flee, but he chased them and fought on till there was not one of them left. Instead of going back to the King, though, he took his troops the back way to the forest and called for Iron Hans. ‘What is your request?’ asked the wild man. ‘Take back your charger and your men in armour and give me back my lame horse.’ All that he asked for was done, and soon he rode – hobbledy-clop-clop-clop – back home.

  When the King returned to the palace, his daughter came to meet him and congratulated him on winning such a victory. ‘It wasn’t I who won,’ said her father, ‘but a strange knight who came to help me with his own soldiers.’ His daughter wanted to find out who the stranger was, but the King didn’t know and said, ‘He chased after the enemy and I never saw him again.’ The Princess asked the gardener where his boy was, but he laughed and said, ‘He’s just limped back on his three-legged nag. The others have been teasing him and shouting out, “Here comes old hobbledy-nobbledy back again.”
They asked him, “Where have you been? Sleeping under a hedge all the time?” But he said, “I did better than all of you. Things would have been really bad without me.” And they ridiculed him and laughed at him even harder.’

  The King told his daughter, ‘I will announce a great feast which will last for three days. You shall throw a golden apple, and perhaps the stranger will show himself.’ When he heard about the feast, the young man returned to the forest and called Iron Hans. ‘What is your request?’ he asked. ‘I want to catch the Princess’s golden apple.’ ‘You practically hold it already,’ said Iron Hans. ‘You shall also wear a suit of red armour and ride on a magnificent chestnut horse.’ When the day of the feast arrived, the young man galloped up to join the other knights, and no one recognised him. The King’s daughter came forward and tossed a golden apple to the knights; but he was the only one who caught it, and as soon as he’d got it, he galloped away. On the second day, Iron Hans dressed him as a white knight on a white horse. Again he was the only one who caught the apple and, again, he galloped away with it. The King grew angry and said, ‘This behaviour is disgraceful. He must come before me and tell me his name.’ He gave orders that the knight was to be pursued if he rode away again, and he was to be attacked with swords if he would not return willingly.

  On the third day, Iron Hans gave the young man a suit of black armour and a black horse, and again he caught the apple. But when he galloped away with it, the Kings’s men chased him, and one of them rode close enough to pierce the youth’s leg with the tip of his sword. He escaped from them in spite of this, but his horse reared so violently that his helmet fell from his head, and they could see his golden hair. They rode back and described all this to the King.