by Tania Sparks
Cody sits up and positions me so we’re facing each other. His expression is full of pleading, “This isn’t working for either of us Kitty. We both can’t get each other off our minds. We’ve tried the ‘let’s just be friends’ thing. It doesn’t work for either of us.”
My heart is pounding, where is this conversation going?
He raises his hands to my face and places his palms on my jaw as he whole-heartedly pleads, “This whole ‘let’s just be friends’ thing is fucking stupid. I can’t handle this. It’s driving me crazy. We’re not friends Kitty. In fact we’re nowhere near friends.”
Now I start to panic, what’s he saying? Is he saying that we can’t even be friends anymore? I feel a lump in my throat and tears start to pool in my eyes. I drop my head and mumble, “Cody, I don’t think I could cope if we couldn’t be friends any more. I’d miss you too much.”
Cody chuckles and I wonder why he’s finding this so amusing. His thumb strokes my lower lip as he continues to talk, “Kitty honey, we’re not friends because we’re so much more than friends. The reality is that we’re like best friends, best friends but with fuckin’ insane chemistry. Look, I’ve been thinking a hell of a lot these past few months and I know it sounds really spiritual and shit, but please just listen to what I have to say…what if we’re supposed to be together? What if this is what the universe wants? It certainly feels like you’re what’s missing from my life. When we’re apart it’s like I’ve left a part of my soul behind. I miss you so fuckin’ much it hurts. If us being together is the way it’s supposed to be, then surely we should do our best to try and make this work, even if it is the long-distance thing again. I know you have commitments here and I have the rest of the tour…but we should try again.”
The silence is deafening. I agree with him completely, but I’m scared, I honestly don’t know how we could make this work. Not only that but I’d feel like a real bitch taking this connection we have any further with Sasha in the next room. But I can’t deny that what he’s saying makes a lot of sense and it’s something I’ve really been thinking about myself. I tell him, “Cody, I agree, I think this connection between us is something really special, but I won’t even discuss how we could make this work between us with your girlfriend in the next room.”
Cody sighs but nods his head in resigned agreement, “Okay, I can see where you’re coming from and I know you’re really determined on this, but you need to understand that she really is not my girlfriend. She means nothing to me and I’m not going to let her get in the way of what you and I could have together. This connection between us is way too special to allow some stupid groupie to get in the way. In the morning I’ll tell her to leave.”
“She’ll be surprised.”
“Nah, she won’t. She’d have to be freaking stupid to think there’s anything between us. Shit I’ve only known her for two weeks, and we only ever fucked once on the first night and even that was pretty average at best. Surely she knows me and her are going nowhere.”
I shuffle away from Cody as I grimace and shriek, “Eew, Cody, I don’t want to know when you last had sex with her. That’s not an image I want burnt onto my brain.”
Cody shrugs his shoulders and shuffles back closer to me as he grabs my hands, “It was only fucking Kitty. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” A shiver of disgust runs through me. “It’s just that I’d tried to block out the fact that you were with other women over the past few months. It sort of freaks me out.”
He frowns and seriously asks, “It freaks you out? But you insisted that we were only friends. Me fucking other women shouldn’t freak you out if we were only friends, I don’t understand.” The room is silent as he thinks it over a bit more then he asks, “Even though I hated the thought, I sorta presumed you fucked other men. It’s been months. Why would me doing the nasty with some insignificant girl freak you out?”
The room is quiet. Hell, I don’t want to sound like some pathetic loser.
“Kitty?” he prompts sternly.
“What!” I snap as I firmly fold my arms across my chest.
He grins suspiciously, “You’ve slept with other men over the past few months haven’t you?”
I roll my eyes, “Well no actually Cody I haven’t.”
His small grin turns into a massive one. It’s that cheeky grin that I miss so much, the one that makes his eyes sparkle and his face light up. A smile tugs at my lips. I shake my head in disbelief. “This fact makes you happy. You’re actually freakin’ happy that I haven’t slept with anyone else?”
That grin is now from ear to ear. “More than you fuckin’ believe,” he groans.
I shake my head and roll my eyes. “And all those groupies, I’m sure you played around heaps when we weren’t together.”
“Kitty, let’s make one thing clear, I may have shared my body, but by heart and soul have always been yours. I’m more sorry than you can believe for letting Sasha come back home with me. It was a stupid shit move.”
“Why her? Why was she different?”
“She wasn’t different. It’s just that I got sick of the groupies. I figured there had to be more…more than just sex…more than just a quick fuck…more than just a few hours. I wanted more, a bit of companionship. I wanted what I once had with you. I had a glimpse of what happiness was and I craved it, so I guess I just latched on to one groupie and stupidly tried to make the whole girlfriend thing work. But it was a complete fucking failure. It was a stupid move choosing Sasha, she wasn’t the ‘more’ I was looking for…You’re the one Kitty. You’re what I was looking for all along, but I let you slip through my fingers.”
“I’m here now.” I offer in comfort.
“Yes you are and I like being here with you.” He pulls a blanket up over us. “Besides, I’m still freaking thrilled that you never slept with anyone else while we were apart. Let’s just cuddle up here for a while so I can bask in my obvious awesomeness. I must have been so fuckin’ amazing that you haven’t even wanted anyone else.”
I chuckle quietly because although he’s being extremely cocky, he’s actually right. I hadn’t even come close to being with another man. These past few months Cody is all I could think about. I hadn’t even considered anyone else.
The fire is roaring as we continue to sip on our wine. We don’t say much more, but we don’t need to, just taking comfort in each other’s company is more than enough. We’ll sort out the situation with Sasha in the morning and then we’ll have to sit down and have a serious talk about what this all means and how we can make this long distance thing work.
Pretty soon we’ve consumed the entire bottle of wine, my eyes are drooping and we’re both just about falling asleep. Cody puts his wine glass down and then takes mine from me and places my glass on the table too. He starts to shuffle away and I groan in disappointment. I don’t want to go to bed yet and I definitely don’t want Cody to go to the spare room where Sasha will be waiting for him. I know he said that he’ll ask her to leave in the morning, but I don’t want him to spend the night with her. I don’t know how I could handle that, knowing that he’s in the spare bedroom with her.
But Cody obviously has no intention of going into the bedroom with Sasha. He grabs a cushion and places it down the other end of the sofa. He lies down and makes himself comfortable then holds his arms open wide and encourages me to lie down in the small space between him and the back of the sofa. I quickly take the opportunity and crawl over and nestle myself down into the space. We’re lying together, our legs are entangled and our bodies are touching all the way from our feet to our heads. The heat from his body is keeping me warm. Damn this feels good. His hard muscles push into my soft curves and we fit together so comfortably that it really is like we’re made for each other. He pulls the blanket up to cover us and whispers, “Night Kitty.”
I happily reply, “Night Cody.” My eyes close and I drift off into a deep, deep, peaceful sleep. In fact it’s the first really good
sleep that I’ve had for months.
~~~
I wake up early in the morning, the log fire has long since gone out, but I’m not cold. The heat from Cody’s body is more than enough to keep me warm. He looks so peaceful lying here sleeping. He looks contented. He looks how I feel, happy. I lie looking at him, watching his chest move up and down with his breathing. I start to imagine longingly what’s underneath his clothes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen his bare skin. I’m almost tempted to lift his T-shirt a fraction so I can see his sexy abs. I gently run my fingers over the hem as I consider whether I’d get away with it or not. I’m visualizing and remembering what his toned body looks like and how it would feel under my fingertips. I’m aware that my breathing has quickened and my heart’s starting to race. It wouldn’t take hardly anything for me to just slip my fingers under that hem to feel his warm skin.
I slowly move my focus back up to his face but I’ve been so completely distracted with the potential of scrutinizing him that I hadn’t noticed he’s woken up. Our vision fixes on each other and the heat between us intensifies even more with the connection. Unadulterated desire burns between us. Neither of us say a thing, we just lie here looking at each other longingly. One of Cody’s hands moves to rest on my hip and my hand moves to sit firmly against his chest. We simply can’t resist each other.
This chemistry.
This connection.
It’s so difficult to avoid taking this to the next level. I said that I wouldn’t consider anything more with Cody until Sasha is gone, but my body is sparking with lust as tingles prickle over every inch of me. I want him and although my head is telling me no, my body is definitely telling me yes. Suddenly my lips feel really dry so I lick them, reminding me of how good his lips would feel on mine. My simple lick turns into a sensual suck and bite as my mind runs wild imagining what it would feel like if we just joined our lips together.
A growl rumbles in Cody’s chest and I feel the vibration rattle through him. He mumbles, “Hell Kit…you need to not look at me like that.”
“Like what?” I mumble as I move my eyes from his eyes to his lips then back to his eyes again.
“Like at any second you’re going to totally consume me and make wild and passionate love to me.”
All sorts of scenarios are running through my mind about what I want to do to him and wild and passionate love is definitely on my list. “Maybe I am,” I reply huskily.
Another growl rumbles in his chest. He rolls over so he’s now on top of me, his legs are securely nestled between my thighs so I wrap my legs around his hips. Our bodies are pressed together. Both of our hearts are pounding loudly. God I want him and I know he wants me. I can feel his erection pushing into me. He grinds his hips defiantly as he skillfully reminds me of how good we are together. Pleasure darts through me and lust floods every inch of my body. If he can make me feel this good and we’re still fully clothed, I can vividly imagine how it would feel if we were naked. I slip my hands under his T-shirt and run my fingers over his muscled back as I revel in the warm, smooth sensation of his skin. He grinds his hips again, this time eliciting a tortured moan from my lips. Our faces are so close. Cody starts to lower his lips to mine and I know for sure he’s going to kiss me. I recklessly discard my rule of not taking this any further, this chemistry is just too great, too irresistible. I lift my head so our lips are whispering so close to each other that I can almost feel him. Our lips touch ever so lightly…
But we’re suddenly interrupted by a chirpy Nikki bowling into the room noisily, “Mornin’ all,” He laughs loudly, knowing full well what he’s interrupted.
Cody jumps off me and quickly straightens his clothing as he mumbles, “Shit man, your timing is crap.”
“My timing’s pretty damn good,” Nikki responds as he nods his head back towards the door.
Sasha comes strolling through. She looks immaculate, her hair is styled neatly and her make-up is perfect. She glances between Cody and me, scowls then snaps at Cody, “Guess you thought the sofa was a better option huh?”
Cody smiles as he replies smugly, “Yep, the sofa was fuckin’ perfect.”
“Hmm.” she scowls at the sofa, noting that I’m still on here.
Cody looks back and forth between us and grins. I don’t know why he chooses to make this awkward situation even more uncomfortable, but he antagonizes her even more by taunting, “Company was even better.”
Sasha rolls her eyes angrily and stomps back to her room.
“That wasn’t really necessary,” I scold Cody.
A grunt leaves his lips then he mumbles, “Well I never invited her.”
“Still,” I say, “when she followed you to the other side of the world, I’m sure she expected a little more respect.”
Cody just shrugs his shoulders, “Well, her choice I guess. I’m gonna tell her that she has to leave anyway.”
I inwardly smile. I can see that he really doesn’t have any connection with her at all. Even though I really don’t like her and her behavior during her visit has been completely inappropriate, I still feel a little sorry for her.
Dad walks in with a cheerful smile on his face, one of the first genuine smiles I’ve seen on him for months. He’s obviously happy with everyone home for the holidays. “Morning all, Merry Christmas,” he chirps. “Everyone ready for some breakfast? Bacon? Eggs? Pancakes? What does everyone feel like?”
“Yes to all of the above,” Nikki says as he rubs his stomach.
“Give me a couple of minutes.” I say, as I stand up and tidy my rumpled clothes. Dad raises his eyebrows as he realizes that I’ve stayed on the sofa with Cody. He doesn’t seem overly concerned though, he continues to smile as he makes his way to the kitchen and we all follow.
We’re in the process of preparing breakfast when Sasha strolls in. The first thing I notice is that she has her suitcase packed and is pulling it along beside her. She leaves her bag by the door and walks straight up to Cody and resolutely asks him. “Can we talk in private please?”
Cody nods his head and follows her back out into the hallway. We can hear muffled conversations and it’s obvious that Sasha is not happy. It’s also blatantly obvious that Cody simply doesn’t give a shit. They continue to argue quietly for about ten minutes while the rest of us prepare breakfast. The arguing stops when a car pulls up outside and blasts its horn. I guess Sasha had already arranged to be picked up. We then hear the front door slam shut. I look out the kitchen window to see Sasha stomping off down the path towards the car. Cody walks back into the kitchen and announces, “Sasha’s gone back to London. She won’t be hanging around the band anymore.”
I see Nikki smiling. Trixie looks over to me and winks knowingly. Everyone’s silent, not quite knowing what to say but Dad tries to break the awkwardness by announcing, “Well the bacon’s just about done. How are the pancakes going Trixie?”
We all quickly start shuffling around the kitchen and pretty soon the uneasiness has disappeared.
Chapter 20
Breakfast was great, not just because of the good food and wonderful company, but because I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. After so many months of feeling like everything was getting on top of me, I’m now feeling a warming glimmer of happiness.
Sasha has gone, which means Cody and I are free to explore where our relationship can go from here. Even if it is long-distance, I feel confident that this time we can make it work. Not being together is not an option for us, we’re both miserable without each other.
We’ve finished eating and I’m just tidying up the last of the dishes. Most of the others have gone off into the sitting room so it’s just me and Cody left in the kitchen. I stretch up to place some plates in the cupboard when I feel Cody slide on up behind me, he presses his front into my back, causing my body to react instantly. He places his hands on my hips and he leans over my shoulder so his face is right beside mine. I can feel his breath on my neck as he whispers into my ear, “We should tal
k, we need to figure out how we can make this work between you and me because there’s no fucking way I’m going through that hell of not being with you again.”
I turn around so I’m facing him, but he gives me no extra room, so my back is pressed up against the kitchen bench. I place my hands on his chest and look up to him. His expression is one of happiness and contentment, I reply, “Yeah, we do. I’ll ask Dad if we can borrow his car and we’ll go for a drive so we can have a talk somewhere private.”
That cheeky grin that I love so much radiates from his face then he grinds his body very suggestively against mine. He winks and mumbles sexily, “Private sounds good.”
~~~
After driving for the shortest possible time we pull up at a carpark overlooking the lake. Everything outside is icy and chilly, yet inside the car the temperature is hot and electricity is zapping between us, which is definitely keeping us warm.
We’ve only been stationary for a few seconds when Cody unfastens his seatbelt and leans towards me. He undoes my seatbelt too and slowly lets it retract back to its position. Of course this means that his body is leaning across mine and his face is mere inches away from mine. His eyes search my face, moving from my eyes to my lips then he glances provocatively down my body. His gaze slowly returns to my eyes and he groans, “So…” He grins, “I know we said we’d talk, but I’m telling you now, we’re gonna make this work Kitty. I don’t care if it’s long distance. I fucking need you in my life. Not being together is not an option. So what do we do now?”
I smile back at him and confidently say, “Well now you kiss me.” I’ve barely finished my sentence when Cody’s lips are crashing to mine. We meld together, our tongues clash, our lips slide against each other, our hands desperately search each other and we frantically tug at our clothing as we try to get more of each other. We’re making out like a couple of teenagers and it feels so freaking good that the excitement is making me feel like I could explode.
