Damaged Souls (Broken Man)

by Scott, Christopher

  Then, he heard noises coming from the bedroom, Greg immediately returned to the present and cringed as he took a gulp of beer and remembered that moment like it was yesterday. No, he didn’t want to believe what he was seeing as he again opened that door.

  His mother even drunker than usual, naked in bed with Mr. Caldwell.

  * * *

  Maybe it was unfair, but that day forever changed the way he looked at Mitch, although in reality, their relationship had already changed.

  Mitch didn’t understand Greg not playing football, not bouncing back like a warrior, not being the teammate he always had been. And like all the other kids, he didn’t know how to deal with Greg’s father’s death. So, Mitch had essentially just ignored him, not knowing what to say.

  And, that probably would have been fine with Greg. He had basically withdrawn anyway, and he didn’t need Mitch or anyone else for that matter. Anyone else except Delaney.

  Yes, he needed her, Greg realized as he stood up and retrieved another beer. She had been the only one who had been there for him, the only one who cared. And now, he had treated her so badly he wouldn’t blame her if she never talked to him again. That can’t happen, Greg realized as he pulled out his phone and thought about what to say.

  Maybe Mitch isn’t so bad, Greg forgave his arrogance and his seeming to remember all of his press clippings from the last several years. Naturally, I’m biased against him after all I have seen. Maybe the sins of the father don’t carry forward to the son, Greg gave Mitch the benefit of doubt as he typed out a text.

  Delaney, sorry about what I said earlier and for not answering my phone. I hope u forgive me and I want u to have a nice time at the prom. Talk to u soon.

  Chapter Six

  “Can I get you something to drink,” Jack interrupted her thoughts as he opened the screen door and stepped outside.

  “No, I’m okay,” Amanda replied as she sat up from her sun chair and then turned over on her stomach. “What are you doing.”

  “Nothing really,” he answered as she could tell he was worried about her. “Delaney and Logan just left for the movies so I decided to come see you. Do you want to come inside with me.”

  “I think I’m going to stay out here for a little while,” she tried to smile although she wasn’t really in the mood.

  Jack walked over and took a seat on the edge of her chair. “Can I join you,” he asked as Amanda heard the squeezing hiss of the sun screen bottle and felt his hands move to her lower back.

  “I’m sorry, Jack,” she tried to explain her lack of enthusiasm and let him down easily. “I’m just really not feeling good. I feel really badly about messing everything up between Delaney and Greg. I shouldn’t have interfered.”

  “You were just trying to help,” Jack attempted to ease her mind and prevent her sunburn as she enjoyed the caress of his hands. “They are going to be okay.”

  “You think so. This is the second Sunday in a row that Greg hasn’t been here.”

  “They are going to be fine,” he reassured her. “The prom is just a week away, and once it is over, things will get back to normal.”

  “I hope so. I miss having Greg around, and I know Delaney and Logan miss him too. Why do you think he hasn’t been coming over.”

  “He probably feels a little embarrassed. I don’t know, he is a tough kid to figure out sometimes. I talked to him a little bit last night at work, and I just think he’s taking a break to figure things out and maybe give Delaney a little space as well.”

  “I hope that’s all it is,” Amanda paused as she started to feel a little better. “I can’t believe how much I miss having him around. It’s like we lost part of out family.”

  “I know what you mean,” Jack replied as his hands moved to her thighs and he worked his magic with his fingers as Amanda closed her eyes. “But, don’t worry, he’ll be back soon enough. I promise.”

  “Thanks, Jack,” Amanda sat up next to him and gave him a kiss. “I feel a little better now.”

  “I’m glad,” he returned her kiss and prepared to leave her alone. “Let me know if you need anything, okay.”

  “C’mon, Jack,” Amanda took his hand as she stood up. “Come make me feel better.”

  * * *

  This Sunday is different, Jack realized as he sat down on the edge of the bed and admired his wife standing just in from of him.

  She’s not even saying anything, he missed her bedroom talk that usually drove him crazy. I’m not even sure we should be doing this, he questioned his actions as he slowly unwrapped her towel, exposing her breasts as he looked up into her eyes. I hope she doesn’t feel like she has to, Amanda took his head in her hands and led his mouth to her breast.

  She has changed so much, Jack remembered the girl on the cusp of womanhood he had met five years earlier. I just love her body, he suckled the full breasts of a woman and mother as his hands rounded the equally luscious curves of her hips. This is an amazing woman, he thought to himself as her towel dropped to the floor and he thought back on their time together.

  Jack stood up from the bed and kissed her softly as she responded to the touch of his fingers. That’s better, he thought as he enjoyed the warmth of her body and the oddly arousing scent of her shampoo as he nibbled on her ear. Not yet, Jack tried to stop Amanda as she positioned herself to please him.

  He resisted her as Amanda pushed him down onto the bed. No, this is about her today, he interrupted her progress and changed positions despite her protests. I am going to make her feel better, he decided as he kissed her stomach and his hands again found the softness of her breasts.

  I love her stomach, Jack remembered making love to her when she was pregnant as he kissed Logan’s former home. What a feeling that was, always moving slowly and carefully, protecting the life that lay between them as they expressed their love for one another again and again. Maybe we should have another baby, he considered the idea as he kissed the c-section scar that always made her feel self conscious.

  There it is, he felt the spasm he always loved as his tongue found its target. Take your time, Jack, he reminded himself as her legs started to tense and he moved even more slowly. Yes, we should definitely be doing this, he stopped second guessing himself as he heard her cry out and she pulled his head back up to her breast.

  “Oh my god, Jack, “ he was pleased to hear Amanda talking again as her body shook with relief and anticipation and she tried to catch her breath.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear and moved slowly into her body.

  “I love you, too,” she managed to breathe as she wrapped her legs around him and they moved in slow motion.

  That’s it, he thought as they picked up the pace and he felt Amanda’s growing excitement. We’re almost there, he confirmed she was feeling the same thing as she rolled over on top of him and assumed her favorite position. That feels so good, his hands found her hips as he spied on her enjoying the moment.

  Watching her struggling to breathe as she moved with desperation and her hands clenched his chest, Jack knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. Let it all out Amanda, he heard her moan and watched the pained expression on her face as he realized it was time. Feeling her body quake, Jack closed his eyes as he finally let go and again understood what he felt for this woman.

  She was truly his everything. The mother of his child, his reason for living.

  * * *

  “Thanks, Jack,” Amanda smiled as she laid her head on his chest. “I really do feel better now.”

  “I’m glad, I feel a lot better too.”

  “I know everything is going to be okay,” she paused and considered what to say. “I don’t know why, but I worry about everything sometimes, not just Delaney and Greg, but about Logan, about you and me, about our future.”

  “How do you mean,” Jack again looked concerned. “There in nothing to worry about. Trust me Amanda, I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you.”

  “I know, Jack,” she t
ried to put a finger on her anxiety. “Maybe it’s because of how I grew up and the uncertainty I always faced. Maybe I have some leftover insecurities that need to be addressed. I know you are always going to be there for us, but for some reason, I still worry.”

  Jack took a second to respond as Amanda wondered if he understood what she was saying. “That’s understandable, Amanda. You had a very difficult childhood and those feelings and emotions can be hard to overcome. I know it sounds odd, but have you ever considered counseling, maybe talking to someone about what you are feeling.”

  “You are my counselor, Jack,” she replied and kissed him softly. “I really don’t need anyone as long as I have you. You make me feel better, and every day, I grow stronger and stronger. No, I don’t need a counselor. I’m going to be fine.”

  “I know you will be.”

  “It’s just that things are going to change so much in the next few months,” Amanda went back to worrying and opened up another conversation. “Greg and Delaney are leaving for college, Logan is going to start school, and who knows what we are going to do.”

  “We’ll practically be empty nesters,” Jack tried to lighten the mood with a joke.

  “I’m serious, Jack. What do you see us doing. Where do you see us in five years.”

  “Amanda, we are going to be fine,” he again reassured her. “It really doesn’t matter what we’re doing. As long as we are all together, we will be happy and everything will work out.”

  “I know you are right, Jack,” Amanda decided they didn’t need to talk about another five year plan. “You know how much I love you, right.”

  “Of course I do,” he said as he looked into her eyes and she immediately knew how much he loved her too. “Can I ask you a question.”

  “You can ask me anything, Jack, you know that.”

  “How would you feel about having another baby.”

  The question took Amanda by surprise, and she took a second to figure out how to respond. They had never really talked about a second child, and Amanda always assumed Jack was happy just having Logan. Was this something he really wanted to do at forty-seven. Was this something she really wanted to do at thirty-one.

  “Jack, is that something you want,” she questioned him and watched carefully for his response.

  “I have been thinking about it recently, but not in any definitive way,” he tried to explain his illogical line of reasoning. “Things are changing, and I know you want to start working and I know we agreed to a plan, but it’s still something I think about sometimes.”

  “And I love that you think about it,” Amanda understood where he was coming from. “And Jack, don’t think I am entirely opposed to the idea, but to be honest, I haven’t thought about it too much. I always thought you wanted to stop with Logan.”

  “Don’t get me wrong,” he hesitated. “I would be happy if we were blessed with just Logan, and I don’t underestimate the burden of bearing a child. I certainly don’t have to go through the hard part. But, if you decide it’s something you might want, maybe we can consider it.”

  “Okay, Jack,” she replied as her body responded to their conversation and she decided it was her turn to make him happy. “But let’s be quiet now, I want to concentrate on what I am going to do to you.”

  Chapter Seven

  Delaney looked over at Logan as he munched his popcorn and enjoyed the movie, oblivious to all of the problems in the world. It must be nice to be so innocent, she decided as she spied the empty seat next to Logan. I can’t believe how much I miss him.

  She still saw him. At school, at work, and even back at the house when he mowed the lawn. But, it just wasn’t the same. It was almost like he had put up a protective shield since that awful night a couple weeks earlier.

  They talked, but not about anything. It’s just awkward, Delaney thought to herself as she tried to understand what Greg was feeling as she remembered their aborted conversations of the last couple weeks. Can it be that hard to talk to me, she wondered. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be together.

  Maybe I should tell him how I feel, Delaney considered the alternatives. But that would be difficult, especially since I’m not even sure what it is I am feeling. I thought I did before that night, but now everything is so complicated, especially after what happened with Mitch.

  I wonder why Greg doesn’t like him, Delaney remembered her date with Mitch on Friday night. He was a total gentleman, she had noticed the way he held the door for her and how he laughed at her silly stories. I think Jack and Amanda also like him, Delaney smiled as she remembered Jack giving him the not so subtle once over.

  And he’s a good kisser. She had not planned to kiss him during that first date, but Delaney had surprised herself by returning his kiss after he walked her to the door. Yes, she definitely had felt something during that moment on the porch, and she was still a little mad a Jack for embarrassing her by flashing the porch light.

  Maybe Greg and I are just meant to be friends, she tried to explain away her feelings for him. Yes, I love him and I know he loves me, but we might be confusing our friendship and feelings for one another with something that really isn’t there. I wish this was easier, Delaney decided as she tried to go back to watching the movie.

  I wish Greg would just tell me how he feels.

  * * *

  Greg felt nothing but exhaustion as he let the hot water soothe his tired body. Nothing is going right these days, he thought about how much it was going to cost to fix his old beat up truck. Maybe I can get it started again and it can make it through another week..

  I’m not sure I’m going to make it though, he doubted himself as he lathered up. No, he didn’t mind the work, that wasn’t the problem. He could work all day and night if he needed to. No, the problem was Delaney and his inability to control his thoughts for her.

  Why did I even go there, he remembered that night as he rinsed the soap from his body. I shouldn’t have forced the issue and everything would still be fine between us. I am so stupid, he condemned himself as he washed his hair.

  “Mitch Caldwell,” Greg sneered the name of his conqueror. Why does it have to be him, he figured it was just another one of their long lost competitions carried over from grade school. He wouldn’t even know how to handle a girl like Delaney.

  Delaney was way too complex for a shallow moron like Mitch. What appeared simple, innocent, and beautiful on the surface was much more complicated as you got to know her and sorted through the many layers of her personality. But, Mitch wasn’t interested in her complexity or personality. He just wanted to go out with her because she was the prettiest girl in school, a shiny trophy awarded for his athletic prowess.

  Greg had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but now, it simply wasn’t happening. Sure his pedigree looked good. Star quarterback, decent student, Division One football scholarship, good looking in the eyes of all the girls. But, Greg knew the reality behind the image.

  It was just a carefully orchestrated front. He was like the entitled star athlete on television who said all the right things on camera and then was totally different once the lights were turned off. Yeah, Mitch was smooth and polished at first glance, but Greg had access to the dirty work behind the scenes.

  Yeah, Mitch and his posse, primarily the offensive lineman who protected his ass on and off the field. Just a group of bullies who had first formed way back in middle school, hoping to ride the coattails of this quarterbacking phenom. They left Greg alone, mainly out of deference to his past friendship with Mitch, but they could be brutal on the weaker kids, especially when it came to their idea of locker room fun.

  As Greg exited the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off, he thought back to the incident that destroyed any leftover hope of him and Mitch rekindling their friendship while at the same time officially ended Greg’s football career. It happened during the beginning of eighth grade, the fog finally starting to lift from Greg’s mind after a productive summer two years removed from his fathe
r’s death.

  It was the summer he and Delaney became best friends. They did everything together that summer. Riding bikes to the beach, going out to eat, and just hanging out together as friends, something still possible at the innocent age of thirteen. It was also the summer he met Jack and Amanda.

  At first, he thought it was odd that Delaney spent so much time with this couple that weren’t her parents, but soon, he came to understand why. They were just different than Delaney’s father and girlfriend, actually, they were different than any parents he knew. They never really talked about it much, but Greg gradually cobbled together the story of Delaney’s parents’ divorce, the relationship between Jack and Delaney’s mother, and the coupling of Jack and Amanda after her death.

  Greg really liked both of them. Amanda was a beautiful newly expectant mother and a trained Psychologist able to talk about anything without making you feel analyzed or scrutinized. He always felt comfortable talking with her, and Amanda even seemed to make progress with Greg’s mother during the few sessions she managed to attend.

  Jack was a little harder to get to know. The General Manager at one of the nicest resorts in town, he was serious and intimidating at first, unsure of this boy hanging around his new house and growing family. But, he gradually warmed to him, and soon, Greg found himself spending more and more time with Jack, Amanda, and Delaney.

  It was during one of these visits that the subject of football came up. Greg remembered the conversation with Jack as they casually tossed the football, a simple activity that somehow made the conversation come more naturally between two cautious participants.

  “You’ve got some pretty good hands,” Jack complimented him after a difficult catch.

  “And you’ve got a terrible arm,” Greg remembered his flippant response as he tossed the ball back to Jack.

  “Thanks,” Jack wasn’t bothered by the insult. “But seriously, you should think about going out for the team this year.