The Ocean in the Fire

by Renee N. Meland

  She thought about her past. Every child who had spit on her, every teacher who had looked the other way…they were all dead now. As she bit into a juicy slice of apple, she wondered where they were: did some get a funeral, with a crowd of crying faces staring at them in a big wooden box…were any of them even buried? Or were they forgotten like they had forgotten her? It seemed likely that for most, it was the latter. She expected to feel some comfort in that, and was surprised when she felt nothing at all.

  Before Blake arrived, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt anything.

  Drew had taken her and Blake through every ointment, every suture, and every type of bandage that he could, and both of them were beginning to feel like they could make their way through the lie without detection. The feeling of a needle pushing through a piece of rubber that they used for practice skin felt familiar to them, and they both felt prepared for the sight of blood that they knew would inevitably come. But at first, the true test would come not in the form of blood, but the form of a scream.

  They were practicing their stitching on an unlucky piece of cloth when the three of them heard Harper’s voice from out the window: “Dad! Dad you have to come quick! You have to let him in!”

  Drew, Poe, and Blake didn’t say anything, just got up from the table and rushed outside. All their faces said the same thing: let who in? Who had found them so high in the hills? And if one person could get there, would more come?

  They saw Connor running toward Harper, who was at the end of the drive, pounding on the main metal gate. Through the bars, they could see a young man who looked around their age, built like Cassius but with pale, Norwegian coloring, reaching his hands out toward her. One arm was bleeding.

  “Harper, don’t touch him! Stay back!” Connor shouted.

  “It’s Brian! You have to let him in Dad! He’s hurt.”

  Poe looked at Blake, who replied “I’ll get the first aid kit” without having to be asked. Poe breathed a sigh of relief for herself, though she knew that her new friend was about to have the first real trial of her medical training. She made her expression steely and unwavering. Their whole story rested on the injury before them. Every bandage or slight movement of Blake’s own hand could expose them for the fraud that they were.

  That is assuming Brian would get past the front gate.

  Poe watched as Connor grabbed Harper and pulled her roughly away from the gate. “Who is this boy? How the hell does he know where we live?” His face became a bright shade of crimson, the shade of red he reserved for back talk and deep betrayals of trust.

  Poe hoped she would never be the one to put that color in her father’s cheeks.

  By that time, Kate had heard the commotion and made her way up to them from the back corner of the property, between the barn and the blackberry vines. “Connor, calm down and let her talk.”

  Reluctantly, he released Harper. “Tell me what the hell is going on.”

  She cowered, shoulders slouching before him as if she expected to be struck. “I told him where we lived. Before the internet went out, before everything happened, he wanted to know about our family. So I told him. I told him everything.” Connor stared at her with wide eyes. “I didn’t even know he was coming. I thought I’d never see him again after everything stopped. I know I’m not supposed to tell anyone about us, Dad, but he’s special. He wanted to know about me. We’d been talking for so long. I trust him! He thought I didn’t because you wouldn’t let me talk about anything! He knew me, but hardly knew me at all. I had to!” Her sobs came hard and fast, yet she still had the presence of mind to shrink away from their father.

  Poe ran over and put a comforting arm around her sister, with Drew following behind. “Shh…it’s okay.”

  “Connor, if you’re going to let him in you need to do it now. That cut looks deep and it needs to be stitched up badly.” Drew’s eyes hardened.

  Harper ran back over to the gate and gripped the bars, as Brian went to place his hands on top of hers, but stopped as he thought the better of it. “Please, Mr. Holloway. My family’s gone. I just want to be with Harper, that’s all.”

  Connor went up to him and glared at him through the gate. “How do I know you’re not infected?”

  Drew looked at him. “Connor, from what we all heard on the news when this thing started, it only takes this thing a few hours. Even if he got infected in town, the journey on foot would have had him showing symptoms already.”

  “He needs to stay out there a couple more hours, just to be safe.”

  “Fine.” Drew went up to Blake, who had returned with the first aid kit, and snatched it from her. “Then let me through so I can stitch him up. I’ll sit with him until you tell us we can come back in.” He placed a hand on Blake’s shoulder. “Vera’s sleeping. Don’t tell her what I’m doing, she’ll worry. Just tell her I’m out in the garden or something.”

  Blake shook her head. “I don’t like this.”

  “I’ll be fine, I promise.” He turned from her. “Well, Connor?”

  An odd expression spread across her dad’s face. “Take Blake too. He’s much younger than you Drew…looks tough too. I can’t have him overpowering you. Blake can help you work on him and keep an eye on him at the same time. We need our doctor around.”

  Drew glared at Connor. “I’ll be fine. She needs to stay here. The less any of us are outside the compound, the better. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  Poe watched as the group looked at her father, waiting for an answer. She noticed the familiar stiffening in his cheeks, the tightening that happened when he really didn’t want to answer a certain way but had been worn down by the teardrops in the eyes of his daughters, or the uncomfortable knowledge that someone was making a compelling argument. He took a deep breath, and one more look at Harper. “Okay fine, Drew. Just stay out there with him ’til dark. If he’s fine, you can both come in.”

  Drew nodded and slipped out the gate. Kate and Connor sealed it behind him. Poe noticed that Blake was frozen still, apprehension seeping off of her like steam. “That was close,” Poe said. “Are you okay?”

  “What if he’s wrong?” she whispered. “Drew’s like a second dad to me…how am I supposed to tell Vera if he gets sick?”

  Poe slipped an arm around her shoulder and smiled a sad smile when Blake gave her hand a squeeze. She hadn’t even blinked when Connor had threatened to send her out too. Her only concern was for Drew. “You won’t have to do that, I promise. Drew’s right, Brian would have been sick by now.” She gently guided Blake back toward the house. “Let’s go get the vegetables picked; it’ll help distract you.”

  Blake obeyed, but Poe didn’t miss her glancing over her shoulder at Drew until the gate was long out of sight.

  ***

  Between pulling the carrots from the earth and snapping off the broccoli florets, Blake stopped, orange flesh lying still in the hand. “Do you think he’s right? It’s not airborne?”

  “I’m sure he is. You said yourself, Drew had gone to that hospital to see his friend and there were sick people everywhere. If it was in the air, he wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “I know you’re right. It’s just scary. Really scary.” A sound of a laugh that seemed to come from far away escaped from her and hovered in the air. “I mean every once in a while, up here, away from it, I forget what we left behind.” She paused. “Then people with blood dripping down their arms show up and it’s fresh all over again. I can’t thank God enough that my son is here and safe.”

  Poe reached out, gently taking the carrot from her and stuck it in their basket of freshly-picked vegetables. “And he will continue to be. We’re all going to be fine up here. This is what my dad designed this place for. He’s known something like this was coming for years: maybe not in the form of a pandemic, but something. Put too many people on one planet long enough and it’s only a matter of time before something snaps.” She carefully pulled a tomato off its branch. “But for those of us who made preparations,
the end is only the beginning. You’ll see. Everything’s going to be okay; different, at least for you, but okay.”

  Even as Poe said it, she wondered if deep down in the tiny midpoint of her heart there was a shred of doubt residing there, curled up and ready to crawl to the surface when just the right moment arose. But for Blake, she smiled.

  A few moments later, Poe heard yelling from inside the house. The garden was a few hundred yards away, so she knew whatever was going on had to be heated beyond anything that had ever occurred in their house before. She was sure her sister was on the receiving end. Without a word, Poe looked over at Blake, and both girls ran up to the house, leaving their baskets of vegetables lying in the sun.

  Poe threw the door open to see her father screaming at Harper. He had her pinned against the kitchen counter, one of his arms blocking either side of her. His face had reddened and Poe could see saliva spewing in little droplets out of his mouth. She watched as her father gripped the counter tightly, making the tiny veins in his hands protrude from his skin. “How could you have done this, Harper? How? You may have destroyed everything! And all over some boy! I didn’t raise you to be so stupid!”

  “He’s not some boy! I love him and I’m going to marry him some day! You’ll see I promise!” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “What was I supposed to do, just let him die? You can’t do that to someone you love. It’s not possible!”

  Connor pounded his fist against the counter. “It’s not our job to help everyone! We only need to protect our family and you completely threw that away!”

  Harper stood silently, but a few moments later, her sorrow turned to rage. “He is my family too! He’s all I have! You’ve kept us up here by ourselves for ten years! I don’t have anything else. No friends, nothing! Did you really expect us to stay here forever?” Her face became a snarl. “Answer me! Did you really expect us to stay here forever? Just to forget about the outside world and never want a life of our own? Just stay here with you forever? It’s ridiculous! This whole thing is just you hiding and making us hide right beside you!”

  Connor threw his hand back and slapped her across the face. Harper’s hand immediately flew to her cheek. “You ungrateful little…you disgust me.” In a low growl, he whispered, “Get out of my sight.”

  Poe had never imagined her father hitting any one of them, but she remembered once, after a particularly bad argument, Harper had. “I thought for sure he was going to hit me. I mean, I knew it was coming, except it didn’t.”

  “He would never, I’m sure of it,” she’d said.

  Not looking Poe in the eyes, Harper had said, “It’s just a matter of time. Is it really that hard for you to imagine? He keeps us up here, all alone. That’s an abuse in itself. Do you really think it’s that big of a stretch?”

  In typical Harper fashion, in almost the same breath, she had moved on to another, less unpleasant topic, something so mundane that Poe couldn’t remember what it was. What she did remember was Harper’s voice fading into the background. Poe’s own thoughts muffled the sound, covering it up with memories of stargazing with her father, the quiet of the night surrounding them like a warm blanket on a crisp evening. Those times with him made her think he was all the friend she’d ever need in the world, and that he was the only person who could ever truly understand who she was.

  As Harper ran past Poe and Blake and up the stairs to her room, Poe realized her father hadn’t even noticed they were there. But instead of scolding them, he simply said, “Bring up the vegetables. Your mother needs them.”

  Poe hesitated, but her father’s face was steadfast, and though she knew Harper needed her, she chose to listen to her father instead.

  She always chose her father.

  ***

  Dinner was over by the time her father let Brian and Drew back in. Vera threw her arms around him, by then realizing that he was not, in fact, picking vegetables. “I was sick. Just sick worrying about you.” Her cheeks glowed pink, evidence of the crying that she had no intention of hiding from him.

  “I’m all right. Don’t worry.” He looked at Brian. “We’re both okay.”

  Brian held up his arm. “You’re husband saved my life. I am…I’m grateful.”

  “It should heal nicely; pretty deep but we seemed to have gotten to it in time, and we cleaned it out really well, so it shouldn’t get infected. You got lucky.”

  “Yeah.” Brian smiled shyly. “That guy sure gave me a good souvenir though.”

  “What guy?” Vera asked.

  “I headed this way after my family got sick. They’re all gone now. On the way here some guy attacked me and took my supplies. I tried to fight him off but he gave me this.” He pointed to his arm. “I guess I should just be glad I found you when I did.”

  Poe watched as her sister glided down the stairs, evidently finally hearing Brian’s voice. Her mother was right behind her. She seemed to be hovering, perhaps worried that her father wasn’t done screaming.

  Harper threw her arms around Brian. “Oh thank God you’re okay! I’m so happy you’re here!” The couple kissed with the vigor that comes with distance and inexperience. Poe hoped her sister didn’t see her wince at the sloppy, dramatic sight. When Harper finally broke free, she gave her father a hug. Her father stiffened. “Thank you, Daddy.” Like so many other times that Harper didn’t want to think of unpleasant things, she went on as though the fight that they had in the kitchen earlier that day never happened at all, but Poe could still a welt swollen upon her cheek. As evident from her mother’s pursed lips and widened eyes, Poe could tell that she saw it too.

  Connor just nodded.

  She next turned to Drew. “Thank you for fixing him up. He’ll be good as new right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Harper took Brian’s hand and started to drag him around the house. “I want to give you the tour.”

  They didn’t even make it to the corner of the kitchen when Connor stepped in front of them. “I don’t think so. It’s late and he’s not going anywhere alone with you.”

  “Seriously, Dad? Really?” Harper desperately looked over at her mother, but Kate just shook her head. “Ugh…okay fine, tomorrow then. Here, I’ll at least show you where you’re going to sleep.” She smiled. “I made your bed while you were still outside. It’s just an old sleeping bag but it’ll have to do.”

  Brian smiled. “Thanks, babe…Harper.” Poe held in a giggle as she watched her father glare at him. She highly doubted that the pet names would ever come up again.

  ***

  Over the next few weeks, Poe watched as Brian tried his best to become part of their routine. One particular morning, he started his day helping her mother make breakfast for everyone. Given how her father was when he first arrived, she was surprised he was even permitted to use the bread knife. After everyone had some oatmeal and toast made from the bread her mother had finished the day before, Brian followed Gabriel around as he checked the perimeter of their land. Poe went with them, still all-too-curious about the new member of their group who had traveled so far in order to be with her sister. She didn’t say much, but she listened closely as her brother and Brian reinforced one of the guard towers as Cassius took his turn on watch. “If you’re putting metal around the tree to make it slick, how does the person on guard get up?”

  Gabriel smiled as a rope latter flew out of the bottom of the guard tower, nearly knocking Brian in the face. “This. Anyone who is on watch carries a long pole with a hook attached to it that they use to pull the ladder down.” He gripped the ladder and pulled himself up on a couple of rungs to demonstrate. “Easy. We can get up but no one else can. Both raccoon and human-proof.”

  “Awesome. I’m sure I won’t be on watch for a while, but I’ll know when the time comes.” Brian rolled his eyes.

  “Look, my dad’s just trying to protect us. He doesn’t know you. And quite frankly neither do I.” Poe looked him up and down from his feet to his head. “We all need some time.”

 
Gabriel put his arm around his sister. “Meet my sister, suspicious by nature, paranoid by nurture.”

  “Maybe, but I’ll probably stay alive longer than your dumb ass.”

  “Aww, and she sounds like my dad too.” They glared at each other for a moment, then broke into smiles. “Naw really dude, she’s just trying to protect Harper. Lord knows Harper can’t protect herself.”

  Brian’s expression grew serious. “That’s funny, Harper seems pretty capable to me. Intelligent too. She also tells me that she’s the best shot in the family.” He turned to Poe. “Maybe neither of you gives her enough credit.”

  Poe considered this for a moment. Though she was mildly insulted, the fact that Brian stood up for her sister, however wrong he was, definitely earned him a bit of respect.

  At least for the time being.

  ***

  A week later, it was Poe, Drew, and Kate’s turn to go out hunting. Their meat supply wasn’t nearly depleted, but Connor told them that they couldn’t be sure if the deer would flee along with the rest of the human population. “It’s only a matter of time before we’re down to rabbits and squirrels. Hopefully they are dumb enough to stick around.”

  Poe didn’t doubt that he was right; though hunting was the chore she dreaded most of all. “I don’t like seeing their eyes when they die. That moment sticks with me for days afterward,” she would tell her father.

  “Every kill has a purpose, Poe. When you kill with no purpose, that’s when you have something to feel guilty about.”

  “Right, but who decides what purpose is worth more than the purpose of another? I’m sure the deer have their own ideas about what their role in this world should be.”

  Her father didn’t have an answer.

  Brian decided to come along on the hunt, talking incessantly to Kate, asking everything he could think of about weaponry and finding game. When her father heard Brian was going to be out in the woods with his wife and daughter, he insisted he and Gabriel go with them, leaving Harper and her superior shooting skills to keep the group in line. Her father seemed exhausted from repairing one of the greenhouses, and Poe wished he would take a well-deserved rest instead. Her mother tried to convince him that they would be fine, but Connor would hear none of it. “I’m not leaving you two out there with the good doctor and the boyfriend that can’t tell his ass from a hole in the ground.” Poe was pretty sure Brian heard him, and she was also certain he didn’t care.