The Doctor’s Secret Baby

by Teresa Southwick

  It already wasn’t pretty.

  He’d become attached to a child that never existed because he’d been lied to. Emily was the only woman he’d ever regretted losing, until learning she’d also lied. He’d be there for his daughter. And he’d be there for Emily insofar as it concerned their daughter. If loneliness was the price he paid, he could live with that.

  He’d learned the hard way that being alone was far better than being with someone who made you miserable with lies. Emily was the second woman to make a sucker out of him and no one would get another shot.

  Not even her.

  Sometimes being right was hell, Emily thought, navigating the streets to Cal’s house on Saturday. Every instinct had told her he would never understand why she’d given up her baby, not even if that baby went to a loving home that she’d been unable to provide. Unfortunately he hadn’t disappointed her.

  He thought she was a horrible person. Maybe that was just as well. If she couldn’t put the brakes on her feelings, Cal’s low opinion of her character would do the job just fine.

  She hadn’t seen him since that night earlier in the week. One minute he’d loved her and the next he couldn’t stand the sight of her. This swimming date with their daughter was the last thing she wanted to do, but she’d given her word. Eventually Annie would be comfortable with him and wouldn’t require Em to be around, but today wasn’t that day. Today she had to pretend she didn’t care what he thought.

  Sex with Cal had been a mistake, but that didn’t stop her from wanting him again.

  She steered her car into the driveway and turned it off, then noticed Cal peeking through the living room shutter. God help me, she thought, wishing it was indifference coursing through her instead of anticipation.

  “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” she muttered to herself, exiting the car, then opening the back passenger door. “It will be easier now that I know the score.”

  He walked out the front door. “Hi.”

  Em heard his voice as she reached into the backseat for Annie. “Sorry I’m late.”

  “No big deal.”

  Yeah, right.

  “It was just one of those days when nothing went as planned.” She unhooked Annie from the car seat. “Annie’s nap was longer than usual and I didn’t want to wake her too soon. That would make her crabby for the afternoon and no one would have a good time.”

  She straightened with Annie, who sleepily rested her head on Em’s shoulder. Putting nerves aside, she glanced up at Cal, fully expecting the cold expression that had chilled her to the core just a few days before. Em was surprised to see him not looking that way at all.

  “What?” she asked suspiciously.

  “What, what?” he shot back.

  “You’re smiling.”

  “I’m happy to see you guys.”

  Ah. Because he hadn’t trusted her to show up at all. “I said I’d bring her for a swim.”

  “Yes, you did.” Frowning, he folded his arms over his wide chest. “Em, about that night at your apartment. I want to—”

  “It was a moment of weakness.” She so didn’t want to talk about that night. If only it was a paragraph on the computer that she could delete, effectively erasing the erotic scene from her memory. And heaven forbid he think she was that easy or vulnerable to him. “The thing is, I’d have been susceptible to any man. It’s been a long time for me.”

  “So any man would do?”

  The words were teasing and should have made her feel better but fell short of that mark. “You were handy. That’s all.”

  “I see.”

  “Don’t be offended. I’m just saying. Straightforward and honest.” She shrugged.

  “Good to know.”

  She was tempted to tell him that there wouldn’t be any more moments of weakness but decided against it because she’d assured him she didn’t lie.

  “Actually, that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” he said.

  What else could there possibly be? she wondered. But in the spirit of cooperation it seemed wrong to shut him down.

  “Oh?” she asked, hoping it wasn’t an invitation to more emotional damage.

  “About the way I behaved after—”

  Heat rose to her cheeks that had nothing to do with the hot sun and she reached into the backseat to hide the reaction. The highlights of their last time together had been sex and him being a jerk, making it an impressively bad evening in every possible way. “Forget it.”

  “Can’t.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I acted like an ass.”

  She straightened and met his gaze. He looked completely serious. “Did you just say you were an ass?”

  “I did.”

  “Just checking.” That admission from Cal Westen made her wonder if there wasn’t hope for world peace. “I needed to confirm before saying you’ll get no argument from me.”

  “Thanks for making this apology easier,” he said wryly. “I appreciate your compassion.”

  “What goes around comes around.” He hadn’t made her painful confession of past mistakes easy and needed to know how she felt. She was a grown woman, not a defenseless teen who craved his goodwill, no matter that she wanted it. Getting over him would take time, but she’d handle that, too.

  “I behaved badly.”

  She blinked again. More words that took her aback. “Yes, you did.”

  “I apologize.”

  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, but she expected lightning to strike her any second. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Who are you and what have you done with Cal?”

  When Annie lifted her head, he held out his arms and she went to him. “Rhonda gave me a different perspective on the issue.” He must have detected something in her expression because he added, “I didn’t share your story. We were talking in general terms. But I had no right to judge. You were right about that and I won’t do it again.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Cal nuzzled his daughter’s neck, and Em liked hearing her giggle. It lightened the mood and dispelled the tension between them even though that left little in the way of cover for her to hide behind.

  She followed him into the family room and set the diaper bag on the coffee table.

  “Her swimsuit is on under the sundress,” she told him.

  “Are you going in the pool with us?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” Except now she wished she had her one-piece tank suit on underneath her shorts and T-shirt instead of the bikini. That had been an act of vengeance and now she knew what they meant about revenge being a double-edged sword. At the time she’d never expected Cal to admit he was wrong.

  “Okay.”

  Annie squirmed in his arms, which he obviously knew meant she wanted down because he set her on her feet and managed to slide her dress off before she moved out of reach. When she went for the entertainment center and reached for the electrical cords, he moved quickly, showing his improving protective instincts.

  “That’s probably not a good idea,” he said grabbing her up. When she let out a screech of frustration, he said, “Sorry, little bit. Electricity is not kid-friendly.”

  Em used the distraction to slide out of her shorts and T-shirt, hoping not to draw his attention. “Good work, slick. You’re developing some impressive skills with our daughter.”

  He couldn’t quite hide his once-over of her from head to toe and something like appreciation glittered in his eyes. “Thanks. I simply executed a flanking maneuver that saved her from herself.”

  “TV cords are a constant source of curiosity,” she said.

  “I see she’s done this before.”

  “Every chance she gets.” She realized they were commiserating as parents. Bonding. That was a potential source of trouble. “Baby proofing helps, but there’s no way to remove every single temptation. And I’m not so sure that would be good. She needs to learn there are some things that just can’t be touched.”

 
When Cal whipped off his own T-shirt she knew she was looking at one of them right now. He was naked except for swim trunks. His wide, tanned shoulders and broad chest tapered to a flat abdomen dusted with a masculine sprinkling of hair that made her fingers itch to touch. But if he touched her she’d get burned like before. Avoidance therapy was successful for a baby, but apparently not for her. She still wanted him, in spite of the way he’d reacted to her confession. In spite of knowing he was a commitment-phobe, with the exception of his daughter.

  “Are you ready to go swimming?” he said to Annie.

  “She needs sunscreen on first.” Em pulled the tube out of the diaper bag and took the little girl from him, grazing his warm skin with her fingers.

  “You’ve got a pretty impressive skill set yourself,” he marveled. “Hanging on to a slippery toddler can’t be easy.”

  “Practice,” she said, finishing up with the cream. Today was all about practicing to resist him. “Do you need sunscreen?”

  The words were out before she realized that would be flirting with danger.

  “Yeah. Thanks.” He turned his back to her.

  She squeezed a large blob into her hand, then smoothed it over his broad, smooth shoulders and the muscles of his back. Touching his warm skin made her shiver, then go hot all over and she forced herself to concentrate, to make sure every inch of flesh was protected from the sun’s harmful rays. Exposure to Cal was not new, but now he represented a different kind of harm.

  “Your turn,” he said, taking the tube from her. He moved his index finger in a circle indicating she should turn her back.

  She did, but not looking at him was only marginally less potent than staring into his sexy blue eyes. Then she felt his big, strong hands rubbing the cream on her neck, shoulders and lower back. He lifted the strings of her bikini top to make sure she was covered and the intimate touch made her shiver again.

  “Cold?” he asked, a smile in his voice.

  “Yeah. You know me and the air-conditioning.”

  “I remember.” He finished as fast as possible and backed away. “Ready?”

  “Hmm?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder.

  “To go swimming. Last one in is a rotten egg.”

  He grabbed up Annie and walked outside, then stepped with her into the shallow end of the pool. Annie slapped the surface of the water with a chubby hand and laughed when she splashed herself. He glanced over when Em closed the slider behind her. The sunglasses over his eyes protected them, but also her from the hungry expression she thought she’d just seen in them.

  Emily sat on the side of the pool and dangled her feet in the water. “We need to give Annie swim lessons. There are programs for kids her age that teach them to be water safe. If she’s going to spend time with you here, it would be a good idea.”

  He stared at her. “You’d be willing to leave Annie here with me?”

  “Of course. You’re her father.”

  “I know. But—” He shook his head as a pleased smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “What an awesome responsibility.”

  “I thought it’s what you wanted.”

  “I do. It’s a great idea. I’d be happy to watch her when you have to work. And not because I don’t trust that you leave her in a safe place.”

  “I know what you mean. And since we both have jobs, juggling child care would be helpful,” she finished lamely.

  He settled Annie more securely on his strong forearm. “And you’re right about swim lessons. In the E.R. I’ve seen way too many pool accidents with kids.” He hugged the little girl until she squealed to lean over and splash the water. “I don’t ever want to have to say ‘if only’ because we didn’t do something we should have.”

  “You’re right.”

  Em was very relieved that she wasn’t in this parenting thing on her own. Partly because when she looked back at her own life, the “if onlys” piled up like a multicar freeway accident.

  If only she’d made better decisions when she was a teenager. If only she’d told Cal about the pregnancy instead of reading his feelings into the words he’d said. Show don’t tell. Everything he’d shown since finding out about his daughter showed her that he’d commit when his heart was in it. If only his heart was into her, Em thought sadly.

  She watched him laugh with Annie and felt something tighten in her chest. He’d admitted he was wrong to judge her and that made her like him more. He was a good dad and a decent person. She’d loved loving him but it couldn’t happen again. If she’d never kept the truth from him, maybe. But she had.

  He would never forgive her for that.

  Chapter Nine

  Cal peeked into Emily’s bedroom to see if she and Annie were finally asleep.

  “Affirmative,” he whispered to himself as he pulled the door almost closed. He left it cracked so he could hear if they needed anything.

  That morning he’d driven Em to the outpatient surgery center at Mercy Medical Center for removal of the breast lump. Her ultrasound had been inconclusive and the doctor decided getting it out was the best treatment option. He concurred.

  So he’d waited with Annie in the waiting room while her mom went through the procedure. Stress in body and mind had sapped Em’s energy, although she’d put up impressive resistance when he’d suggested she rest. Not even pulling medical rank on her had worked. What finally convinced her was settling Annie.

  Their little girl had a tough day with her dad. She’d hung in there with him until reaching a point when only Mom would do. Then Em had to be careful because of her stitches. Annie knew something was off and reacted by voicing at a decibel level only auditory to dogs that she was not napping by herself in her crib. So Em rested on the bed with her and now the two were sound asleep.

  He looked around the living room wondering what to do with himself while he stood guard over them. Leaving wasn’t an option until he knew Em wouldn’t have a problem handling a one-year-old while recovering from her procedure. It crossed his mind that it might be just an excuse to stay, but he immediately dismissed that thought. If his daughter needed him he’d be there for her.

  A knock on the door sounded as loud as a gunshot, and he hurried to see who was there. He opened up and saw Patty on the sidewalk with towheaded Henry in her arms.

  “Hi, Dr. Westen.”

  “Hey.” He stepped outside and pulled the front door almost closed behind him. A young guy was on the sidewalk in front of her apartment working on a child-size table.

  She noticed where he was looking and said, “That’s Jonas Blackford, Henry’s father.”

  “Okay.”

  “I told him about you, how you checked out Henry when he was sick.”

  Cal looked at the little guy in her arms who stopped squirming to get down long enough to look back at him. Henry was the picture of health now. “How’s he doing?”

  “Perfect,” Patty said, lovingly brushing a hand over the boy’s white-blond hair. “But that’s not why I came over.”

  “Oh?”

  “How’s Em?” She looked worried. “She told Lucy and I that the breast lump was being removed today. We wanted to be there, but with work and the kids…Anyway, she said you were driving her and watching Annie.”

  “That’s right.”

  “So how is she? Can I see her?”

  “She’s sleeping right now,” he answered. That didn’t remove the worried look from the teen’s face. “Only because going through the procedure took a lot out of her. She’s fine.”

  “Really? Was it cancer?”

  “The surgeon doesn’t think so.”

  “Is there any way to be sure?” she asked doubtfully. “Her mom died of breast cancer.”

  That surprised him. She hadn’t shared that there was a family history of breast cancer. More secrets?

  “The mass is being biopsied,” he explained. “I’ve called in some favors at Mercy Medical Center. The lab is going to expedite the test results and call me.”

  He’d be
en expecting the call for a while now but didn’t mention that to the teen.

  “Will you let me know when you hear?” Patty asked. “Lucy and I are concerned.”

  “No problem,” he said.

  She half turned. “Come meet Jonas.”

  There was no good reason to decline so he said, “Okay.”

  Patty turned and walked over to the young man bent over the small table. “Babe?”

  He straightened and smiled at the little boy who grinned at him. “Hey, dude.”

  “I want you to meet Dr. Westen,” Patty said. “Remember, I told you about him?”

  “Yeah.” He looked up and held out his hand. “Jonas Blackford.”

  “Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and the kid had a firm grip. “Cal Westen. That’s a good-looking boy you’ve got there.”

  “He looks just like his daddy,” Patty said proudly.

  “I can see that.” Cal studied them. Jonas was shorter than himself, but muscular and compact. His hair was a darker blond than his son’s, but the angular structure of their faces was identical, as was the blue eye color. Henry was going to be a chick magnet when he grew up. “What are you working on there?”

  Jonas glanced down. “A table for Henry.”

  “And Oscar when he’s a little bigger.”

  Cal squatted and ran a hand over the smooth wood top and sturdy legs. “Nice job.”

  “Thanks.” Jonas smiled. “It’s just about ready for stain.”

  “But that’s going to have to wait for next payday,” Patty shared.

  Cal remembered strict budgeting way back when, along with tension and a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It seemed like a long time ago, but that was because he did his best to forget the drama, trauma and bitterness. He didn’t get the feeling that these two were anything but poor and happy.

  “Uh-oh.” Patty sniffed her son, then peeked in the back of his denim shorts. “Someone needs a change.”