Kat's Rats

by Michael Beals

  “Where’ve they taken the Colonel?” she asked the bright-eyed Lieutenant, as they took their seats at the conference table.

  “Blimey. Didn’t they tell you? He’s being transferred to Counter Intelligence in London.”

  “Transferred? Damnit, they took Capson three months ago and now the Colonel!” she cried. “They can’t do that. Truff’s our Commanding Officer. And he didn’t say goodbye. Do you have any idea what we’ve just been through?”

  “Miss. Wolfram…”

  “We’re only alive because of Truff. Well, that would have been true,” she added, “if I hadn’t intervened…”

  “Miss. Wolfram…”

  “I mean, don’t we get a say in any of this? It’s all very well for you lot, sitting here in London, but we’ve been out in the wilds of…”

  “Miss. Wolfram!” the Lieutenant said sharply. “We get the picture, we’re in the middle of a war, and don’t get to decide who goes where.”

  “We did in Africa,” she said coyly.

  The Lieutenant raised his eyes to heaven. “She always like this,” he asked Sergeant Major Dore, who was leaning back with his arms folded.

  “Yeah. Pretty much.”

  “I’m surprised you got back in one piece.” Leaning forward, he pressed a button on the intercom. “Please tell Major Capetti we’re ready for him.”

  Moments later, a strikingly handsome man in a flying jacket entered the room.

  Kat blinked and stared at the man. “Capetti?” she echoed. “As in Alessandro, the mad helicopter pilot?”

  Capetti smiled and cocked his head, and the Lieutenant looked annoyed. “You know each other?”

  “I’ve heard of him,” Kat clarified, glaring at Capetti. “Your mother bought you a helicopter. You do flying stunts.”

  “Is not-a true,” Capetti said, indignantly, “I-a fly Macchi Saetta fighter planes.”

  “Your mother bought you a Macchi Saetta?”

  Capetti grimaced, no doubt biting his tongue. “I work British Intelligence. What your typing speed?”

  “Oh, I’m useless,” she replied, with a saccharine smile. “Can’t type at all.” She raised her eyebrows. “Although I can speak Italian… German, French, and Spanish.”

  “She can stick NAZIs with her knife too… Oh yeah, I almost forgot… She can blow shit up as well.” Dore remarked.

  “Wolfram?” Capetti said, squinting at her. “The crazy red-haired woman who blew my cover at Arco Philaeni?”

  “That was one hell of a brutal day,” Atkins remarked, from the far end of the table.

  “You not just blow my cover,” Capetti fumed, “You destroy my unit.”

  “That wasn’t my fault,” Kat protested, no longer smiling. “We thought you were Germans.”

  “We were supposed to look like Germans!”

  “Gentlemen, please,” The Lieutenant interceded. “We have other things to discuss.”

  “Lei non é un gentiluomo,” Capetti muttered under his breath. “Lei é un maniac completo.”

  “I heard that,” Kat said, sharply.

  The Lieutenant laughed. “And now she’s your maniac, because she’s a member of your new team.”

  “What?” Kat shrieked. “He’s our new Commanding Officer? We’re all going to die.”

  A polite cough came from the doorway. Kat turned to see a tall, Senior Naval Officer. “Miss. Wolfram, can I have a word? Privately, if you don’t mind.”

  She pulled a face and looked at Capetti. “Apparently he’s our new boss.” Capetti swept a hand in the doorway’s direction. “Please. Take her.”

  Outside the room, the Officer led Kat down endless, wood-paneled corridors, and finally into an office overlooking Baker Street. A large mahogany desk dominated the room, one wall lined with books, few military.

  “It’s good to meet you, Miss. Wolfram. Please take a seat. We have a lot to discuss. My name is Commander Fleming. Officially, I’m Naval Intelligence, but the SOE roped me in because I know Italy.”

  “We’re going to Italy? Isn’t it occupied by the Germans?”

  “Which is why you’re eminently suitable. You speak German and Italian, and I believe you’re a spy,” he laughed, an odd, humorless laugh. “According to your file, you have been issued by the SOE, a license to kill. I wasn’t aware such a thing existed. I would have thought in wartime, it was a given.”

  “I won’t be killing many Germans with Capetti in charge.”

  Fitting a cigarette into a long, almost feminine cigarette holder, Fleming lit it and blew a plume of smoke at the ceiling. “Sorry. Filthy habit. Don’t be too down on Capetti. He’s a pretty sharp chap. And he speaks German.”

  “Great. However, how is he at throwing a grenade?”

  “He does a wonderful impersonation of Mussolini,” he remarked, “and he can fly a plane.”

  Fleming continued, “we’re very concerned about intelligence we’ve received of a new jet super-fighter being developed by the Krauts. They’ve already got a formidable air force. A new super-fighter could be catastrophic. We’re developing the Meteor. However, there are design problems.”

  Kat swallowed. “You want us to steal one of their planes?”

  “Not exactly. We believe the Germans are getting help from a well-known aeronautics engineer. His name is Stipa, and he has a facility at Linate Airport.” He blew another stream of smoke at the ceiling. “We want you to kidnap him.”

  Acronyms/ Slang/ Terminology

  .50 Cal: .50 Caliber (12.7mm) machine gun. Large and heavy, usually mounted on a vehicle since it requires three soldiers to carry the weapon, tripod and just a small supply of ammo. Less accurate and has a slower rate of fire than smaller machine guns, but its ability to throw a half-inch slug with enough kinetic energy to penetrate a brick wall or light-armored vehicle at over a mile makes it an extremely popular weapon, even in the 21st century.

  Abwehr: General German military intelligence, but specifically focused on counter-intel. Spy hunters.

  Agency Africa: The highly effective Polish intelligence service in exile operating in North Africa. A private network organized and led by Polish Major Mieczyslaw Slowikowski, Agency Africa were the eyes and ears of the allies in North Africa.

  ANZAC (or Digger): Officially the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps from WWI, but often used as a catchall term for any Australian and New Zealand troops.

  APC: Armored Personnel Carrier. Lightly armored/armed vehicle used for support tasks. Differs from armored cars by being larger but less heavily armed. Usually six or eight-wheeled vehicle. Examples: Armored ambulances, mobile Command vehicles, combat engineer transport…

  Argy-bargy: Britty talk for heated confrontation.

  Armored Car: Light, fast wheeled vehicle, with enough armor to stop shrapnel, rifle and low-caliber machine gun fire, but not enough to duke it out with a tank. Usually four-wheeled and equipped with a turret mounting a heavy machine gun or light cannon. Used primarily for reconnaissance or escort missions, and rarely for Major combat operations.

  Army Banjo: Shovel

  Auto Saharan Companies: The Italian (Compagnie Auto-Avio-Sahariane) version of the ANZAC Long Range Desert Group. Similarly equipped and organized as the LRDG, with the same deep reconnaissance mission, they were most often deployed in a defensive role though. Particularly charged with hunting down the LRDG, Arab insurgents and other Allied Commandos. They do have the distinction of being the only Axis military unit to ever defeat a LRDG patrol in battle, twice actually, but both skirmishes were quite costly for the Italians.

  BAR: M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle
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  Birdmen: British slang for pilots and aircrew.

  Binos: Binoculars/field glasses

  Bf-109 Messerschmitt: Most common German fighter/bomber of the war. Standard armament consisted of two 13mm MG’s and a 20mm nose-mounted cannon in the air-to-air role.

  As.42: Italian jeep/light truck vehicle. Larger than a Willy jeep, it has as an armored car’s undercarriage and similar specs to the LRDG’s Chevy WB trucks. Open top vehicle without a turret, but can mount a wide variety of weapon systems.

  Command Car: Generic term for a jeep, light truck or impressed civilian automobile being used to haul around Officers or other non-combat support tasks. The vehicles are rarely armed in this role, though occasionally a light machine gunner is on board.

  Commonwealth Forces: Broad term for the millions of troops drawn from the British Empire’s many dominions, colonies and protectorates that made up the majority of its combat power throughout the war. Includes Canadian, South African, Australian, New Zealand, Indian, Arab, Persian, African, Indo-Chinese and Oceanian forces, whether operating independently or integrated with “regular” British forces.

  COMSEC: Communications security. Referring specifically to the daily/monthly changing cryptographic code groups used for encrypted radio communications.

  Corker: Someone or something that’s outstanding.

  Crew Serve: Generic term for any fixed weapon mounted on a vehicle. Such as machine guns, cannons or grenade launchers.

  Det cord: detonation cord

  Devil’s piano: Machine gun

  Doofer: Any unnamed thing, doodad, thingamajig, whatchamacallit.

  Eagle Squadrons: Three Royal Air Force fighter squadrons drawn from American volunteers before the US entered the war. Fought valiantly in the Battle of Britain and in the North African campaign, but suffered heavy losses at the hands of the more experienced Luftwaffe pilots.

  EFP: Explosively formed penetrator. A particularly lethal type of shaped charge IED that can be detonated up to 100 meters away from a target, with the projectile still striking at hypersonic velocity. Can penetrate all types of armored vehicles. Only the forward turret slope armor of the heaviest tanks can stop these slugs, which means little since these IED’s are usually fired against the weaker sides or undercarriage of the target.

  FISTer: Fire Support Team.

  Forward Observer: Forward observer

  FRAGO: Fragmentary order. A modification to the original mission plan that doesn’t alter the core objectives, just how they should be achieved.

  Géo Gras Group: The largest, best organized and most effective French Resistance group in North Africa. Made up mostly of civilian Jewish rebels that escaped capture and some Vichy French Army deserters, but never received official support from the Allies. During the early hours of Operation Torch, the Géo Gras Group, with the aid of various pro-Allied militias, seized control of the Algerian capital and captured thousands of Vichy troops, allowing the Eastern Task Force to land without facing any resistance.

  Gestapo’s Department E: Responsible for security and counterintelligence in the Reich, this small group of elite Gestapo agents held supreme authority over the SS and regular military. Hitler’s personal “troubleshooters.” The best of the worst.

  Half-track: A large truck with standard wheels on the front, but tank tracks in place of the rear axle. Allied half-tracks were usually unarmored and primarily used for support or infantry transport, but German half-tracks were often armored and armed like APC’s.

  Hawker Hurricane: Older and slower British fighter/bomber, but renowned for its ruggedness. Most common armament consisted of 4x 20mm cannons.

  IED: Improvised Explosive Devices. Unfortunately, infinite variety in size, composition, triggering mechanisms, delivery means and concealment methods. Fall broadly into three categories:

  Claymore-like (anti-personnel): At its simplest, just a small bomb designed to throw out lots of shrapnel in a specific direction. Sometimes combined with homemade napalm, poisonous gases and/or acids because some people think bombs are just not lethal enough.

  Shaped charge (anti-vehicle): Sometimes just a single, large convex copper plate in a tube with an explosive propellant in the closed end. Other times, sophisticated multi-battery arrays of different slugs. Intended to do one thing: hurl superheated armor-penetrating projectiles at close range into passing vehicles. Often shreds occupants without destroying the vehicle.

  Blast (anti-everything): From a simple artillery shell in a trash bag on the side of the road to multi-ton truck bombs and everything in between. Usually employed against buildings, fortified positions (ex. checkpoints, heavily armored vehicles) or for pure terror purposes.

  Tragically, there is no rule stating that an IED can’t combine elements of all the above.

  Long Range Desert Group (LRDG): A battalion-size force of desert warfare specialists operating independently in small “Patrols” well behind Axis lines throughout North Africa. Made up primarily of New Zealanders, Australians and a few South Rhodesians, the LRDG was tasked with deep reconnaissance of Axis rear areas and picking targets for air raids. Growing bored with such passive work, they soon earned a reputation as fearsome raiders who would just materialize out of the desert and shoot up a supply convoy or airfield, and then disappear without a trace.

  LZ: Landing Zone

  MG42: Standard German 7.92 mm medium machine gun. Fairly easy to operate dismounted, assuming an assistant gunner is available to carry ammo.

  MP 40: High-quality German 9mm machine pistol, but maximum effective range less than 200m.

  NCO: Generic term for all Sergeants, from E-5 to E-9’s, in the US and UK/Commonwealth armies. Stands for Non-Commissioned Officer. In modern usage, each letter is always sounded out, but the Allies of WW2 often used shorthand nicknames, such as “Nico” or “Noncom.” Informal titles such as “sarge” were strongly discouraged, but still often used by junior enlisted men as a term of endearment, as long as no other NCO’s were around.

  OPFOR: Opposing Force

  OpOrder: Operations Order. General plan.

  OPSEC: Operations security

  OSS: America’s Office of Strategic Services, the precursor to the post-war CIA.

  Paddy: Temper tantrum.

  QRF: Quick Reaction Force. A mobile, round-the-clock alert reserve ready to respond to any security breach.

  ROE: Rules of engagement. General guidelines for the use of force, usually accompanied by a list of situational specific do or don’t shoot scenarios. Always prefaced with the disclaimer, “Nothing in these Rules of Engagement limits your right to take appropriate action to defend yourself and your unit.”

  SSDD: Same Shit Different Day

  Submarine Spitfire: Advanced British fighter/bomber. Many variants produced, but the most common armament consisted of either 8x .303 machine guns or 4x .303 plus 2x 20mm cannons.

  Sten Gun: Cheap British version of the MP 40 submachine gun, but much lower quality and less reliable.

  S-X: The Command staff of a unit. This organization was pioneered by the Prussians in the late 1800s, but was adopted by most professional armies everywhere by WW2. Starting at Battalion level and higher, each unit’s headquarters staff has six “shops,” divided by function. Divisions and Corps designations start with G:

  – S-1: Personnel and General administration. Roughly equivalent to civilian HR.

  – S-2: Intelligence/counter-intelligence.

  – S-3: Operations & Training. The largest section. Responsible for turning the Commander’s General directives into detailed plans and “managing” the battle.

  – S-4: Supply & Maintenance

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� S-5: Civil Affairs/Psychological Operations.

  – S-6: Signal (communications/IT in the modern military)

  TC: Track (or vehicle) Commander. Every military vehicle has a minimum crew of two: driver and track/vehicle Commander riding in the passenger seat or turret.

  TOC: Tactical Operations Center. Fancy way to say Command post.

  Tosh: Nonsense/bullshit.

  Vichy France: The puppet state Germany created after the conquest of France to administer the unoccupied southern half of France proper as well as French overseas colonies, based out of the central France city of Vichy. Nominally free and neutral, the Vichy Government adopted an official policy of complete collaboration with their NAZI overlords, including exterminating France’s Jewish population. After some initial fighting against the allies, most of the Vichy troops in North Africa joined the Free French Forces and fought the rest of the war against their former masters.

  Volkswagen Kübelwagen: “Tub car,” popular German version of the Willy jeep based on the VW Beatle chassis.

  WILCO: Radio shorthand for “Will comply.” Often used as a way to express displeasure or disagreement with an order without openly stating so.

  Willy Jeep: Ford’s rugged and iconic ¼ ton, 4x4 jeep featured in most WW2 movies. While American made, tens of thousands were sold or gifted to Allied forces long before the US entered the war. Captured jeeps were also quite popular among Axis troops, especially German Commandos.