Winning the Game

by Leesa Bow

  “You think I’m the devil?” Her voice is serious.

  Cupping the back of her head, I pull her face to mine and kiss her hard. “You’re a fucking angel, Boss. I’m the one sending you to hell.”

  My dick grows hard beneath her round arse. I might not like the deal she cut me, but I have to trust her, have to believe we’ll be together when all the crazy is over. Tori is the only girl I want in my life, and I have the rest of the night to show her how serious I am, and how much I need her to be with me.

  “Rhett.”

  I turn, hearing Fleur call my name. “Hey.” I’ve barely spoken to Fleur since I visited her home in Newcastle and met her parents. Considering I then went to Perth with Kaetrin, it’s of no fault of mine, but a look in her eye tells me she needs confirmation we still have a connection. “You’ve been swimming?” Fleur is wearing a blue silk dress and I notice the bikini straps tied at the back of her neck.

  “Yes, with Kaetrin and Lucy. We were wondering where you were today? Do you want to come join us after lunch?” She walks with me through the main doors towards the restaurant. It’s midday.

  “Sure.”

  “So what have you been doing all morning?”

  “Paige wanted some still shots of me in the corner garden at the back of the hotel where I do most of my fitness work. She wanted the not-so-sweaty version of me training. She thinks it would be good for ratings.”

  Fleur takes hold of my arm like it’s a natural thing to do. After spending the night with Tori, the idea of touching another woman, even her hand, doesn’t sit right with me. I’m going to have to start all over with these girls. And Lucy … my gut turns over.

  “Why should we be the only ones to see you train? It’s our morning treat.” She grins at me like she’s let out a secret.

  “You watch me?” I glance at her before pressing the button to the elevator to close the doors.

  “From our bedroom windows. We all do.” She laughs. “Don’t look so embarrassed.”

  “I never knew I had an audience.” The cameras I can deal with, but I clench my jaw knowing the girls spy on me.

  We step out of the elevator and I’m no longer listening to Fleur. Instead, my heart picks up a notch, anticipating I’ll see Tori at lunch. After creeping out of her room around five-thirty, and before sunrise, I kept the usual pattern of training outdoors by six. Images of last night replay in my mind, then the contentment dissipates, realising what I promised for one night with Tori. But fuck it was worth it to reach an understanding. Now I’m regretting falling asleep around three, and not talking to her like I planned.

  This Tait guy is grating on my mind, and whatever he did to her when she was eighteen. It’s her past, and she said it’s not a problem, but I can’t help feeling uneasy. I think she’s not being completely truthful.

  Talking of truth, she never told me what made her come on the show as a contestant. I understand it was a business deal, and she was a fake contestant, but for her not to warn me? She knows she can trust me.

  Nausea hits me when we enter the dining room. My eyes scan the tables. No Tori. The whole production team is here. Everyone but Tori. Ingrid’s eyes lift and meet mine. Her gaze shifts to Fleur beside me, then back to mine. I know what she’s thinking. I find the contestants’ table and spot Lucy sitting beside Kaetrin, with a spare chair beside her. I make a beeline straight toward the chair.

  Lucy looks pleased to see me.

  I eye Kaetrin. “Did you sleep in this morning?”

  “Yeah. Take a rain check?”

  I shoot her a wry smile. “You seen Tori?”

  Blank expressions.

  “We thought she must have been with you?” Fleur admits.

  “Nope, haven’t seen her.” I stiffen when a hand touches my shoulder.

  “Afternoon, ladies, Rhett.”

  “Hi, Ingrid,” the girls say politely.

  “Rhett, I need to steal you away in fifteen minutes so eat up.”

  “I just got here,” I snap.

  “Grant requires a shoot with you in a suit. It won’t take long, but you need a hair and make-up session first. I promise you can get back to the ladies by four at the latest.”

  “We’ll still be at the pool.” Fleur smiles in an attempt to comfort me.

  “And it’s a free night,” Ingrid says, like she’s throwing us a party. “No cameras following you around.”

  “Why?” I pivot in my seat so I’m looking Ingrid in the eye.

  She smiles like she knows my secret. Because I know she fucking does. “So you can connect with the girls,” she says, like she created a new annual holiday.

  “Hurry up and eat,” Lucy urges. “The sooner you go the sooner the party can start.”

  Five points for trying, Lucy.

  “Have you seen Victoria?” I ask, coming straight to the point, without making eye contact.

  “Yes. We’ll make an announcement about Tori later.”

  Hearing her tone, I suddenly lose my appetite. “What sort of an announcement.” I clench my jaw. Then I angle myself so I can observe her expression, and try to gauge if she’s telling the truth.

  Ingrid’s gaze travels over to the three girls. Her expression becomes solemn. Christ, her pathetic acting skills could get her a gig on this show. “I didn’t want to tell you all like this, but Tori has decided to leave the show.”

  “What?” The girls gasp.

  “Why?” I growl.

  Ingrid gives me a pointed look, then directs her attention to the girls. “Tori stepped in to help us out after the quick elimination of Sally, because Sally was doing things in breach of her contract.” From the corner of my eye I see Fleur stiffen. “Tori got to know you girls, but feels she has nothing else to offer. She says you three are doing remarkably well. She didn’t want to upset anyone, so she left this morning after we filmed her telling the camera she no longer wanted to stay, because the show wasn’t for her and she really didn’t connect with Rhett like she hoped to.” Ingrid’s eyes drill into mine. And I give the same glare right back at her. “It’s not your fault, Rhett,” she says, so fucking sweetly, “and nothing was ever going to eventuate between the two of you anyway.”

  “Yeah,” I say flatly.

  “I’m going to miss her,” Kaetrin says, interrupting further speech. “She was pretty cool.”

  “There’ll be a formal announcement tonight by Grant. It’s why we need Rhett now to shoot him announcing her elimination.”

  “Without her even here?” I bite back.

  “We can edit anything,” she reminds me. “You have fifteen minutes to eat and get a smile on your face.”

  “We’ll have him smiling,” Lucy says. I look at her and force a half smile. When I look at Fleur she is also smiling, and I can’t help thinking they’re relieved to see Tori go. When I glance at Kaetrin she looks dazed.

  “Perfect,” Ingrid sings, before stalking away.

  Kaetrin is staring down at the table as though she’s deep in thought. After her home visit yesterday I know she’s not fake; especially after learning why she decided to come on the show. Kaetrin and I are on the same page. Kaetrin is doing it because her mum insisted, and I’m doing it to earn a football contract. Neither of us believed we would find a soul mate. Sensing I’m looking at her she glances up.

  She doesn’t smile. “Go do whatever you have to do. Then I’ll drink with you. I feel like getting wasted.”

  “Yeah,” I mutter, not capable of saying anything else. There’s a sudden throbbing pain above my left brow. I press a thumb to my temple to ease the pain of Tori leaving without a goodbye.

  Nothing.

  Tori could have warned me, even mentioned it was part of her plan. So what does it tell me about last night?

  Right now I feel like she’s using my heart like a revolving door.

  TORI

  The plane touches down in Melbourne and jolts me awake. Considering I swallowed a Xanax before I checked in, I need more than a few seconds to
come to. Wiping my mouth, I peek at the elderly man sitting beside me, and hope he escaped the trip without listening to me snore.

  I rarely require a Xanax these days. My first experience with anxiety raised its ugly head after the Bahamas.

  Yesterday, after walking out of the hotel, I made an appointment with the doctor and then cried for the entire day. Not just any cry. It was the snotty-nosed cry with loud sobs. Desperate and alone, I called my parents. Mum, surprisingly, understood. Dad said to come and stay as long as I needed. So here I am, a total wreck, and in Melbourne twenty-four hours after walking away from Rhett.

  I remember the pain, how much my insides hurt to lose someone I cherished. And the strength it took to get through each day following the loss. Being cheated on left an even bigger wound. Last night sent me tumbling, shattering me once more. Only this time my heart aches like it’s been split in two, and one half has fallen into my gut, raw and tender, broken and yet desperate to function, desperate to survive. The seemingly dislodged part of my heart thumps deep in my hollow stomach. I’m frail, and broken. This time, I’m the cheater and the victim.

  And I hate myself for it.

  With shaky hands I grab my small suitcase from the overhead compartment and head straight for the taxi queue. Thirty-five minutes later I arrive at my parents’ home. What went down yesterday has consumed my thoughts, so I haven’t given much consideration to the last time I was here. After hearing my mother’s kind words yesterday, I hope she isn’t pretending to be concerned.

  Wheeling my suitcase toward the front door, I try to ignore the growing nausea in my stomach. I knock, and the moment my mother’s heels sound on the tiles my fragile heart misses yet another beat. Glancing down, I do a quick once-over. Black leggings, a baggy t-shirt and ballet flats. Not an ounce of make-up on my face. At least I brushed my hair.

  The door swings open. “Victoria,” Mum says, and I smile because she seems genuinely pleased to see me. She stands there with perfectly styled hair and make-up, wearing a red blouse and skinny-leg jeans. Flawless as always. She swoops me into her arms and gives a tight hug. “Your father has popped out to buy lunch. He’ll be here soon.”

  Trailing behind my mother, I notice the way she walks. Confident, yet light on her feet. It’s nothing new, but it must be difficult to always be in control. Her bedroom door is ajar and, as we pass, I notice the open suitcase with clothes sprawled around it. Oh right, the holiday ... “When do you leave?”

  “Leave?” She shoots a quizzical look over her shoulder.

  “To New York.”

  “In two weeks. But the first week we’re stopping over in Hawaii.” She turns to me. “If you want to stay here longer we can postpone our flight.”

  “What? No, Mum. I don’t want you to.” Frankly, I’m amazed she offered. “I’ll be fine. All I need is time with you and Dad. I didn’t want to be alone.”

  Mum places her arm over my shoulder and pulls me into her sizeable chest. At first I want to pull back, but the gesture does something to me. My suitcase lands with a thud on the white tiles. Mum cradles my head like a child, and it reminds me of the few times she comforted me growing up. It triggers a release. It has only been a few hours since I last cried, so the tears come easily.

  Of course, Dad has to walk in the front door and catch me crying in Mum’s arms. “Hey,” he says in his gentle way. Mum releases me so Dad can give me a hug. “I bought macaroons,” he says. “Salted caramel … your favourite.”

  “I’ll make coffee,” Mum pipes up, before disappearing into the kitchen.

  Dad picks up my suitcase. “Let’s get this upstairs to your room.” He hooks his arm around my waist and walks with me to the stairs. I’m stepping beside him with my head resting on his shoulder. As soon as I’m in my old room I flop onto the edge of the bed. Dad sets my suitcase in a corner then sits beside me.

  Rubbing my back, he says, “The pain will go. It takes time.”

  Dragging my hands down my face I murmur, “I’m so embarrassed. And confused. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

  “This guy … Rhett. Do you love him?”

  “Yes,” I murmur. “I don’t want to but I do. I have to face it’s not meant to be, because I’ve broken every rule in my book.”

  “Perhaps it’s time to throw away your little book of rules.” When I make a face he adds, “I’m serious. Your mother and I had this conversation after you left a couple of months ago. Some rules are not worth the pain, sweetheart. I want you to think about what makes you happy, and begin from there. It could be a fresh start for you.”

  “What do you know about fresh starts? Seriously?” I dip my chin. “Sorry, that was rude.” To my surprise my father doesn’t stop rubbing my back.

  “Did you know I had an affair?” he admits, and my head snaps up.

  “What? When?” I’m studying his poker face, searching for a crack, a sign, a hint it’s not true. I don’t want to believe my perfect parents are not so perfect anymore. I believe in the power of love because it’s their love for each other that gives me hope, knowing real love is out there somewhere.

  “You were ten. It only happened the once.” Dad pushes a hand through his hair.

  My stomach turns, hearing my father say the words. I never thought he’d be the type to cheat. A dark sensation creeps along my skin.

  “Lorelle was spending all her time at the station, and I was always second to something. The show, then her after hours work. Her friends. Her co-workers. And sometimes you. Although, I was guilty of putting you before your mother on occasions as well. Anyway, we won’t get into that. My business had grown, so I employed three more people. Two ladies, because there were more call-outs to homes, and fewer customers brought their computers to the office. Heavy bloody things they were back then as well. Many of the female customers were alone in their homes, and some were more comfortable with another woman than a man.” He shrugs. “I understood those things. One of the ladies, Bonnie, had a good eye for detail. She worked with me in the office while Melanie took the call-outs. Bonnie would always buy coffee and cakes for morning tea … you know, the ones your mother told me not to eat because they weren’t healthy.”

  His lips split slightly. “Guess I liked eating those cakes because your mum didn’t want me to. Hell, I was mad at her. Some nights she didn’t come home at all. Damn slept at the set, she was so busy. It crossed my mind she was having an affair, but when I tried to talk to her about it, she got mad and worked even longer hours. It’s no excuse, but during this time I became closer to Bonnie. She flirted with me and made me feel important. I was weak,” he says in a tight voice.

  “Then one night we had drinks at work to celebrate a first milestone with my little company. After everyone left, Bonnie helped clean up the mess. I received a text from your mother saying she wasn’t coming home, and since your grandmother lived with us back then she didn’t think it was a problem.” He gives me a pointed look. “We’d actually been sleeping in separate beds for three weeks since the last argument.”

  I’m gaping at my father. I could never remember them sleeping apart. I guess my memory didn’t stretch back to when I was ten. I always thought they had the perfect marriage. Still, I’m a little angry with him. It doesn’t seem like a good enough reason for what I assume he’s about to tell me.

  “I cheated on your mother that night. Immediately after it happened I regretted it. Couldn’t believe it.” He rubs his other hand over the side of his face. “Knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t tell Lorelle the truth … so I confessed.” He gives me a sideways look. “The truth, and facing up to the wrong, helped with moving on and forgiving myself. And yes, you have to do that,” he adds, seeing my expression change. “Having Lorelle forgive me was one thing … forgiving myself was a whole different ball game.”

  I nod. “And it’s the embarrassment, the regret, hating myself, and feeling like an idiot. An idiot because you let someone else play with your emotions when you t
rusted them.”

  “Yes, sweetheart. Even Bonnie could tell I was having marriage problems. If she were a friend she would have advised me how to make it better.”

  “What happened to her?” I’m trying to think back, but I don’t remember anyone by that name.

  “She resigned a few weeks later. Said she was sorry. But I think Lorelle may have made a phone call.”

  “Yeah.” I snort, knowingly. “Mum would have put her in her place.” Then it dawns on me. “Did Mum cry when you told her?” I can’t remember Mum ever crying.

  “Yes. A lot. She also apologised.”

  I daze out for a moment. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “One, because I don’t want you to believe we took our holidays because we didn’t want you to come. It’s something we promised ourselves fourteen years ago. It was a way of saving our marriage. And, with your parents walking around a hotel naked ...” He gives me a devilish grin.

  “Ew.” For the first time I understand why they took their annual holidays without me. “Fair enough.” I sigh. “I wish you’d told me before, because I grew up thinking you didn’t want me on your vacations. Like I was an inconvenience.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Dad pulls me into a quick embrace. “We’re so sorry. I know I should have told you before, but your mother didn’t want me to. She said it made her look … weak. And I was actually embarrassed to admit to you what an idiot I was. Thought you might hate me for what I did.”

  I wipe my nose with my arm. “I could never hate you. I’m a little shocked,” I admit, “but I’m kind of relieved. Even so, I’m sensing there’s more to your story …”

  Dad leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Some mistakes can be prevented,” he says, looking at the carpet. “Others are meant to happen. Either way, you have to work through it until you know what direction to take.” He turns to me. “You either forgive and forget … and the forgiving part takes a long time too. You have to live with yourself, and all the emotion that go with it. Or …” He gives me a long look. “You make it right even if it means hurting others and giving up something you love to do it.”