Bound by Nature: Forces of Nature, Book 1

by Cooper Davis

  It was also obvious enough why Josh didn’t have a mate himself—he wasn’t going to lay down with a female and let himself be claimed or mated. So why in hell did the council think Josh would roll over for any male wolf, Alpha or otherwise?

  Yeah, this plan was fucked already. And mortifying as hell. Hayden didn’t need his Dartmouth degree to realize what a field day Josh and his pals must be having over this situation. No doubt they’d been guffawing about this meeting ever since it was set up two weeks ago.

  Hell, they were probably watching Hayden through the front window even now, observing his nervous binge drinking while patting old Josh on the back. Good work, buddy! He still wants you! Just like he always did, the faggot freak.

  Hayden squinted at the large plate glass window at the front of the saloon, but it was too dark to see outside. Now he was becoming paranoid.

  Just calm down and get it over with, he coached himself. If Josh didn’t show, he would have fulfilled his duty, end of discussion—and knowing Joshua Peterson like he did, Hayden was sure he’d never turn up tonight. Good ole smirking Josh would leave him feeling like a total ass, and laugh about it for the rest of their natural lives.

  Hayden buried his face in both hands again, cursing the elders. This mating was a total wet dream for them…and an utter nightmare for him.

  A blast of cool air hit his fevered skin, and Hayden glanced up, squinting blearily. Only then did he realize he’d already gotten a bit drunk, but not so wasted that he knew his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Oh, yeah, he recognized that confident, graceful stride, as well as the police uniform and stocky build of the man wearing it. He gave a half-hearted wave as Josh approached the back booth Hayden had selected for the meeting.

  “Hey, man,” Josh said, his voice deeper than it had ever been in the past. His body was bigger and bulkier, too, and they had to adjust the table slightly to accommodate his muscular form. Josh slid into the booth, dumping the contents of his pockets on the table between them—wallet, cop’s badge, car keys.

  “Not even a hello for an old friend?” Josh asked with a smile, the look in his eerie-light eyes seemingly sincere. The man pulled off a ski cap, raking fingers through hair that still curled slightly despite how short he now wore it.

  “You’re late,” Hayden said sullenly.

  Why couldn’t Josh have just saved them both the trouble at this point? Hayden stared into his beer, feeling miserable and deciding that he might definitely be halfway drunk.

  Joshua flagged a passing server and ordered a Sprite. Then, he turned back to face Hayden, relaxing into the booth seat. “I’m really sorry, buddy. The boss grabbed me for a last minute ride and couldn’t get out of it. I hated making you wait.”

  Hayden met his gaze, tapping his Blackberry. “This never rang.”

  “I’m not allowed to make personal calls while on duty, Hayden.” Josh’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept smiling. “What, you gonna grill me the whole time or what? I’m here, aren’t I? Same as you.”

  “For this totally fucked-up and fucked-over plan.” Hayden shook his head, peeling at the label on his beer bottle.

  Josh’s expression darkened. “You never used to sound so jaded.”

  “A lot’s happened in my life since….”

  “Since we got together last,” Josh finished smoothly for him, his expression open and not unkind.

  “Yeah, since my innocent youth.” Hayden laughed bitterly, staring across the bar.

  “I’d hate to see you lose your dreams, Hayden,” Josh said gently. “You’re the smartest guy in our crowd, with so much potential and talent. Don’t get cynical.” Josh leaned forward, planting hands openly in front of them. “Promise me that you won’t.”

  “Why should you fucking care?” Hayden pinned Josh with a hard gaze. He had no clue about all that Hayden had endured since that night five years earlier. If Hayden had become cynical, it was with damned good reason. “Huh? Why should you give a shit what I do or how I live, Peterson?”

  Josh’s vibrant, lovely eyes never so much as blinked. He stared at Hayden for a long, intense moment, then in an extremely quiet voice said, “Simple, Hayden. Because more than you’d probably believe right now, I do care.”

  Josh tried hard not to smile at the wide-eyed, bewildered expression on Hayden’s face. That look of genuine surprise gave Josh the first real hope he’d experienced for the man since—well, in a very, very long time. The light had gone out of Hayden’s eyes years ago. Josh had prayed and waited for it to return ever since.

  “I do care,” Josh repeated, trying to instill the words with even more intensity. He wanted them to sound like a pledge, and in a very real way, they were. “I care very deeply about you, and about what happens to you, Hayden. Trust me on that one.”

  But Hayden was dead inside—he had been for so long—and that little spark Josh had glimpsed in his eyes went ice-cold almost as quickly as it appeared. Hayden dropped his head, staring at his beer, fiddling with the label some more—and then tipped the bottle back, draining it dry. Soon as he smacked it down on the table, Hayden waved at the server, raising two fingers. Was he really ordering two more beers simultaneously?

  Josh decided to make a joke of it, hoping he could get Hayden loosened up. “Man, you know double scotch or whiskey is one thing,” he teased, “but double Michelob just doesn’t have quite the same ring.”

  “Perfect blend for me,” Hayden muttered, drumming his fingers on the table and searching impatiently for the server’s return.

  So far this little sit-down wasn’t exactly meeting the hopeful expectations Josh had maintained before showing up. He leaned back against the booth with a sigh. His back ached like a mother. Too much time hunched at his station desk fooling with paperwork, and when not doing that, stuck in a patrol car. And when not doing that, well, doing things his job required which often left him feeling nauseous and torn up inside. No wonder he hurt all over, right down to his bones.

  The server arrived, dropping the two beer bottles in front of Hayden, and he instantly drained more than half of the first one. Josh scowled in concern.

  “Hitting it pretty heavy there, aren’t you, buddy?” He pointed at the bottles.

  “You keeping count?” Hayden lowered his head slightly, narrowed his eyes. Josh would’ve sworn he even heard a gravelly growl rumble out of the other man’s chest.

  Yep, Hayden was blitzed, all right. Had to be, if he was posturing so early in the meeting, which made Josh melancholy, almost as if he could feel that hollow place Hayden carried around right inside his own chest. In fact, he was pretty damned certain that he did.

  Josh cleared his throat. “I am a cop, you know.” He pointed to his badge where it sat between them. “So, drink all you want, but I’ll drive you home.”

  “No. Fucking. Way.”

  Josh would have decided this meeting was a bust except for one simple reason. He’d come knowing what bad shape Hayden was in, and had no illusions about what he’d be dealing with. Josh was prepared to spend months trying to get through to him—to burrow past the years of heartache and loss and guilt, and make a genuine breakthrough.

  According to Hayden’s dad, Josh was probably the only one who might still be able to reach Hayden. He’d admitted as much when he’d come out to the house and proposed this arranged mating on behalf of the elders. Josh had listened, his heart practically in his throat, wanting to confess so much in exchange. He’d longed to tell William Garrett about how poisonous powerful secrets can be between two young men, how while they might free one person, they can just about kill the other.

  Josh had already made his decision, however. Hayden’s father didn’t need to learn everything—he knew enough already. The only person in the entire universe who needed to hear the total truth was the handsome, jaded one seated across the table. And Josh would sit in this booth all night if that’s what it took to reach Hayden—and the next night, and the next.

  “Look.” Hayden’s head popped ba
ck up as if he had suddenly remembered something. “You realize this isn’t my idea, right? I mean, you know I had nothing to do with this asinine plan.”

  Josh took a slow sip of Sprite. “Of course I know that.”

  “’Cause I don’t want you to think I’m still hot for you after all this time…or that I even want this mating. ’Cause I don’t. Want you, I mean, not now.”

  “Hayden, I’d smell the scents, remember?” Josh reminded him gently. “I’m well aware that you fell out of…well, got over…”

  “I don’t want you anymore,” Hayden announced with an almost vicious bluntness.

  Of course he didn’t think Hayden still held those strong feelings, but to hear it admitted so harshly still tore Josh to the very core. It was as if the other wolf had just slashed open his belly, ripped into him with both jaws, going for the kill.

  But why should he expect Hayden to hold back or feel any differently? Josh’s womanizing reputation was well known around town. He knew Hayden had seen him frequenting the bars, often with a different woman on his arm. Not only that, but given how things had gone between the two of them in the past—at least how Hayden remembered events—he probably figured Josh would be relieved.

  Oh, God, if only he knew. If only he understood all that he doesn’t remember. Or what I’ve been doing all these nights out around town.

  There would be time. He would tell Hayden everything at just the right moment, when he was ready. Until then, Josh’s only job was to ease Hayden into the proposed mating arrangement and give him the truth slowly. That, and pray that he could regain the man’s precious, beautiful trust once again.

  Chapter Two

  Five years earlier, December 28th

  Hayden sat at the family’s kitchen table, working on his thesis. There were only three months left for him to complete it, and although that should be plenty of time, the stormy day outside was good enough reason to stay in and work. Dark snow clouds filled the sky, and the sound of distant thunder periodically rolled through the valley.

  So much for glimpsing the full moon tomorrow night. Not that it mattered. Josh hadn’t phoned yet, and it was already five p.m. At this point, Hayden would’ve laid money that the promised phone call never would happen. Typical. Joshua Peterson had Hayden’s engine all revved up, leaving him with nothing but fantasies and lust once again.

  But he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he’d been hovering around the house all day hoping the damned phone would ring. He’d never given Josh his cell number, and didn’t want to risk missing him if he went out for a while. Besides, what would his parents say if they fielded a call from Joshua Peterson? There would be way too many questions about why he was suddenly hanging around with the ascending Alpha of their rival pack.

  Hayden rubbed his eyes, weary from staring at the computer screen for so many hours. His mom poked her head in the kitchen. “Can’t you take a little break?” she asked, her brow knit with concern. “You’ve been working most of your time home. It would be good for you to get out for a while. Maybe you and your father could go hunting tonight.”

  “No,” he replied, his tone too forceful for such an innocuous question. “No, thanks, Mom,” he added more gently. “Don’t mean to be jumpy, just…got my mind on stuff.”

  The kitchen smelled like chocolate cake and fresh-brewed coffee. His mother always spoiled him when he came home for the holidays. “Your thesis?” she asked, wiping her hands on a towel.

  “Yeah, that, plus some assignments and research,” he lied, glancing over at the silent telephone. He’d wasted almost the entire day staring into space, thinking about Josh, but that was the last thing he’d own up to with her. She knew he was gay, of course, but not pining for an enemy Alpha.

  His mother appeared trouble, studying him for a long moment. Did she suspect his real feelings? A wolf herself, she had finely honed instincts.

  “Suit yourself, sweetie,” she said with a sigh. “I’m concerned about you, that’s all. You seem really stressed today.”

  “I’m fine. Totally fine, I promise, Mom.” He thumped his chest. “No need to worry about me.”

  She went back to the kitchen, and he stared at the laptop screen some more. Maybe his mother was right, and he should get outside on his own. Give up on his pathetic hope that Josh would call about getting together.

  He shoved back from the table, stretched and got up to grab a beer. Right as he passed by the phone, it suddenly rang, emitting a shrill, jolting sound from where it was mounted on the wall. And as much as Hayden had hoped the thing would make some sound, any kind at all, he still yelped in startled surprise before yanking the receiver to his ear.

  The awakening reaction hit him before the other man even had a chance to speak. It was Josh, his strong force of nature powerful and evocative—even across the telephone line. “Happy holidays, Hay.” Josh hadn’t used that nickname since their long ago days together on the high school baseball team.

  Damn but something about Josh’s easy use of the nickname felt intimate, affectionate…as if they were connected by a dozen private threads only the two of them shared.

  “Hi, Joshua,” Hayden said, casting a nervous glance toward the kitchen. He sure as hell didn’t want his mother hearing this particular phone call. “Have a good Christmas?”

  They exchanged pleasantries, keeping the conversation light and easy enough, and then after about five minutes, Josh cleared his throat. “Uh, listen, buddy. About tomorrow night…uh, something’s come up.”

  Hayden’s eyes drifted shut and he hated the huge swell of disappointment that washed over him. He’d been prepared for this, had figured the plans wouldn’t pan out. He braced for the letdown, except Josh kept talking. “Gotta work until about nine,” he said. “Yeah, I know it sucks, but let’s still meet up then. Cool with you?”

  Hayden heard himself make sounds of agreement as if from a distance. The moment had an air of unreality to it, like something straight out of Hayden’s crazy daydreams. But, no, they really were going to meet for beers—and go on a run after. His heart did a crazy jackknifing rhythm inside his chest, and his hands began to tremble in anticipation.

  “So, here’s the deal,” Josh continued easily. “I don’t have to work the next day. I can stay out late…all night, really. If you’re still game for a run, I mean.”

  Hayden swallowed hard. “Totally. I’ll bring a change of clothes.”

  They decided where to meet, and Hayden hung up the phone, filled with such raw energy, he would’ve sworn he could bound across thousands of miles in wolf form. Pacing around the table, he reminded himself that Josh was only reaching out as a friend. Yet that thought did nothing to kill his happy buzz. Whatever it meant, tomorrow night with Josh seemed monumental, life-altering.

  Chapter Three

  Present day

  Hayden squinted drunkenly at Josh, hating that the other Alpha had only become more stunning in recent years. Although Hayden would never admit as much. Hell, no. The jerk didn’t deserve even the slightest ego stroke. Besides, Joshua Peterson’s beauty was hardly a newsflash in this town, whether you were male or female, gay or straight.

  No wonder Hayden had once been so enthralled with the guy. Hell, he’d have done just about anything to win Josh’s affection, but those days were gone. Dead gone. Studying Josh now, all strong and clean-shaven in his cop’s uniform, it was obvious how much they’d both changed. They weren’t even the same two men they’d been back then.

  God, could five years truly be an eternity if enough bad shit went down?

  Hayden leaned back in the booth and decided to utilize a method Josh had to be familiar with as an officer of the law. Interrogation. Hell, it was far too fucking familiar to Hayden himself. Lawyers, cops, prison officials. Interview after interview, question after question. He could play the game in his sleep by now.

  “So why did you even show up, Joshua?” Hayden stared down at the other wolf’s police ID. “And any particular reason w
hy you dropped your fucking badge between us? Was it to remind me about my past? Or just to make me feel intimidated by you?”

  “God, are you really this harsh all the time now?” Josh asked, sliding his badge to the side. “I dropped my shield because it cuts into my thigh if I keep it pocketed. This is a tight space, and I’m just about bursting out of my uniform, as you can probably see.” Josh pulled at his uniform collar as if being strangled. “That’s the damn thing about what we are, Hayden. Our bodies keep growing and expanding until we hit thirty. Look at how much muscle and heft you’ve put on. You’re even more of a man than before…which is truly saying something.”

  Hayden refused to have any reaction to that comment. But damn if his hands didn’t tremble slightly anyway. He quickly placed them in his lap, hoping Josh hadn’t noticed.

  Josh shifted around in the booth, continuing. “Tight space, tight emotions—and if you don’t mind my using your same bluntness—I wanted to breathe a little without getting a crotch-attack from the load in my pocket. Cool with you, Garrett?”

  Hayden barely managed to hold back a reply, even though he would have loved to ask precisely what sort of “load” Sergeant Peterson usually packed in the front of his pants. Instead, Hayden just smiled and said, “So you’ve still got a sharp and feisty streak. I guess that’s good news.”

  A few years ago, pulling such intense heat from Joshua would have stirred his own strong response. Physical, emotional, an entire chain reaction would’ve erupted inside Hayden’s wolf’s body. But that was before the terrible, fated night they shared five years ago—a Christmas memory that changed both their lives forever. Much worse, though, was what came after, those two endless years in prison. Playing the patsy, realizing how fully he’d been betrayed.

  No, Hayden wasn’t interested in bandying innuendo about with the good cop. He preferred to get right down to business because the sooner they dispensed with the council’s fucked up mandate, the sooner he could get away from Josh.