The Floating Lady Murder
Page 23
“She is fully booked at the moment,” I said. “My brother and I—”
“Yes, yes,” said Platt heavily. “I know all about you and your brother.”
“I suppose it is a question of advertising my intentions in advance,” Harry murmured to himself. “I could post a notice or handbill to the effect that the Great Houdini intends to accept any and all challenges to escape from regulation handcuffs. Then people would be forewarned to provide their own restraints. That might resolve the difficulty.”
“Are there any other opportunities that might be suitable?” I asked Platt. “Anything at all?”
Platt reached across the desk for a folded sheet of paper. “I shouldn’t think so,” he said. “But don’t despair, Hardeen. If your brother truly is the most exceptional performer in New York, the other agencies are undoubtedly clamoring for his services.” He unfolded the paper and ran the pince-nez over the print.
“Perhaps there could be a trained locksmith on hand as I took the stage,” Harry was saying. “He could confirm that the handcuffs had not been tampered with or altered in any way. It would lend an official touch to the proceedings. The Houdini Handcuff Challenge. That would look well in print.” He glanced at me. “Don’t you agree, Dash?”
“Harry, perhaps we might confine our attention to the matter at hand. Mr. Platt is consulting his books to see if—”
“I’m afraid there’s nothing,” said Platt, tossing the folded sheet onto the desk. “Unless, of course, your remarkable brother happens to have a cast-iron stomach.”
“Pardon?”
“A cast-iron stomach. The Portain Circus has an opening in two weeks’ time. I’m looking to send a man with a cast-iron stomach.”
“I don’t quite follow you,” I said.
“A stone-eater,” Harry said impatiently. “An omnivore.” He made an exaggerated chewing motion. “Someone who will eat whatever the audience throws at him.”
“Precisely,” said Platt. “I have the honor to represent Mr. Bradley Wareham, who earns a fine living in this manner. At present, however, he is indisposed.”
My hand went to my mid-section. “A stomach complaint, by any chance?”
“Not at all. A gouty foot, as it happens.” Platt snatched a handbill from amid the clutter on his desk. “Mr. Wareham is proving to be a difficult man to replace. Listen to this: ‘For the amusement of all present the Man with the Cast-Iron Stomach will ingest all manner of small objects presented to him by the audience, including rocks and gravel, potsherds, flints, bits of glass, and other savories. Upon conclusion of the display, this Gustatory Marvel will allow onlookers to strike his stomach to hear the rattling of the strange objects within.” Platt lowered his pince-nez and regarded us with a bemused expression. “I don’t suppose this is an act you might be willing to undertake.”
“Certainly not,” I said. “The talents of the Brothers Houdini lie in an entirely different sphere of—”
“Would I be able to take my wife?” Harry asked.
“Harry!” I cried. “What are you thinking? You’re not a—”
“The Portain Circus is a very reputable organization,” my brother said evenly. “If I could establish myself in the company, I might be able to win a spot more in keeping with the usual run of my talents. Moreover, I would be able to rescue Bess from her servitude in the chorus line at Ravelsen’s Review.”
“Your reasoning is flawless,” I said with considerable asperity, “except for the part which requires you to eat rocks and glass. How do you propose to overcome that little difficulty?”
Harry turned to Platt, who had been pulling contentedly at his clay pipe during this exchange.
“You say that I would have two weeks to prepare?” Harry asked.
Platt folded his hands. “Yes, Mr. Houdini. Two weeks. But I warn you, this act is no place for an amateur. Do you really think you’re up to it?”
By way of an answer, Harry reached across Platt’s desk and plucked the clay pipe from his fingers.
“Harry!” I cried, as he placed the smoldering bowl into his mouth. “Don’t—”
But he had already bitten off the bowl of the pipe at its stem and was now happily chewing on the glowing contents.
“What did he say?” Platt asked, as Harry tried to speak through a mouthful of clay and burning embers.
“I can’t be certain,” I said, “but I believe it was ‘Hoonga-boonga.’ ”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DANIEL STASHOWER IS A NOVELIST AND MAGICIAN. HIS WORKS include: Elephants in the Distance, The Beautiful Cigar Girl, the Sherlock Holmes novel, The Ectoplasmic Man and the Edgar-Award-winning Sir Arthur Conan Doyle biography, Teller of Tales. He is also the co-editor of two Sherlock Holmes anthologies, The Ghosts of Baker Street and Sherlock Holmes in America, and the annotated collection Arthur Conan Doyle: A Life in Letters.
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