by Autumn Birt
It took some pacing, a shower, and pulling out clothes Arinna hadn’t worn since her first weeks in Spain before she felt in control of herself. Organizing her information sources to discover what event had called Michael in at dawn, she found Eldridge’s card on her desk. She didn’t need Byran’s offer to stay. And it hadn’t been the alluring image of a life enhanced with his wealth and privilege that had driven her to his apartment that morning. Arinna put the card aside not certain she wanted Eldridge’s offer either. Pushing away the flood of anger, she reached for the phone.
Michael’s gaze flashed back to her when he got home late that morning. “I’d think it was much worse than a data breach looking at you. You look more military than me.”
“No, data breach is what I heard as well.” His questioning glance stayed on her attire. “I ... wanted to wear something that made me feel like me,” she explained, looking away when tears stung her eyes. She’d been dreading this conversation all day.
He sat next to her, taking her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Byran ... last night,” Arinna faltered.
“Did you fight? I wondered why I found you alone. You know, I should have forbidden you from seeing him from the first,” he said, laughing as he brushed away her tears.
“Yes, you should have. It would have solved a lot of problems.”
Michael’s teasing sobered. His gaze shifted from piercing to anger. “If you expect me to sit here while you cry over another man ...”
“No. I got my feelings hurt, that is all. It is silly. I promise,” she added.
Michael hesitated before leaning forward and kissing her forehead. “Alright, I trust you. I always have. I’ll hit him if you like or challenge him to a duel, whatever it is they do over here.”
Arinna laughed. “I get to hit him first.”
Arinna managed to avoid Byran for two days. It was time used to find perspective and a sense of balance. But she knew eventually Byran would track her down.
“You are avoiding me,” Byran said, catching her by waiting outside the embassy in the morning. “I wouldn’t have thought telling you that you had a place with me, asking if you would ... that it would drive you away.”
For his part, Byran looked unkempt, more than she had ever seen him. Dark scruff shadowed his cheeks and his eyes held hurt rather than self-assurance.
“It wasn’t that. Actually, it was because of that. I came to see you the next morning, early — very early.”
Not a flicker of realization stirred in his gaze. Which took away the kindness seeing Byran so out of sorts had caused. It was that easy to get lost again.
“You were saying goodbye to a young woman ... who looked to have stayed over?” Arinna said, coldly.
“Genevieve?” Byran said, catching on at last.
“You remembered her name. That is nice.”
“Yes. I took her home. We slept together. What of it?” His ready admission and lack of guilt made the conversation feel that much more unreal.
“Apparently nothing. I thought your offer meant something else. I guess I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong. Do you think I care less for you because of that girl? That isn’t true, Arinna.”
“Perhaps it means you don’t care as much for me as I hoped.”
That sunk in. “Arinna, let’s go—”
“No. Not today. I have work to do and I really don’t want to see you right now. In a few days,” she said as an argument formed on his lips.
The look in her eyes stopped him. Byran swallowed before asking, “You promise? You will meet with me in a few days?”
“Yes,” she said, leaving before he could reach for her.
—
The attacks happened while Arinna was at work. Despite their rocky friendship, Byran was the first to call and tell her.
“Something’s happened. Leave now before they lock you down. Meet me at the café,” he said before hanging up. Arinna grabbed her coat and left, regretting that calling Michael minutes prior to the announcement of something that she wasn’t supposed to know about would raise alerts.
She kissed Byran’s cheek in greeting, but dodged his hug. He gave her a hurt look, one that she would have felt guilty for if it showed any sign of understanding why she’d kept her distance for over two months. But he didn’t. She didn’t imagine Byran would change for anyone. It was not a life she could lead, but Byran hadn’t accepted that yet.
“Have you heard anything?” Byran asked as he served her tea, fussing as if the visit were social.
“A few things on the way over: simultaneous attacks, predawn. But I don’t know how many or where.”
“At least six. A few were military targets and data hubs, the others weapons depots.”
Arinna cursed under her breath. Byran didn’t know much else, just a list of reported targets that were very uncertain, and no idea of severity. But he had gotten her out of the embassy, which would allow her to check other contacts before going back. For that alone, she was grateful.
Her work phone buzzed. She checked it even though she was certain what it would say. “I’m being called back.”
Byran nodded, standing to see her out. “Stay safe,” he whispered into her ear as he kissed her cheek. “Please call me when you can.”
“I will.” She squeezed his arm, allowing that much contact between them.
It took two days for the embassy to go off of high alert. Things remained tense, especially after news of the level of attacks and amount of stolen weapons came out. Most of it was unofficial, but the halls of the embassy buzzed with information. Some of it was accurate.
Three more weapons depots had been emptied while five other strategic areas had been targeted. Information and communication centers had gone down five minutes before the first explosion, ten minutes before the raid on the depots. The work was precision, orchestrated using the information breached months before, and organized by someone inside the military or government. Or both. The USA was chasing its own tail, spinning into darkness. When she came home to find Michael hunched over the table, two letters laid out before where he sat with fingers tangled in hair that she’d grown to like seeing long, Arinna knew the chaos had finally reached out for them.
“We have orders,” Michael said when he realized she was in the room. She took the chair across from him. The letters lay between them on the table.
“What are they?”
“I’m to go back to the Air Force. Active duty. Rank of Captain.”
“That isn’t bad. You miss flying.”
He looked at her from where he sat with his forehead resting in his palm. The one eye she could see was wild and frantic. Arinna took a slow breath.
“Me?”
“Active duty, army, general rank, front line platoon. That is a demotion.”
She had to swallow a few times before she could answer. “They know I’ve been asking questions about the FLF. We heard about others who asked the wrong things.”
“The FLF have taken how many depots? With the weapons they control now ... even against the US army that is a death sentence. They are sending you out to be killed.”
“It is better than hauling me in and killing me themselves.”
Michael flinched, the look on his face desperate enough that Arinna fell back in her chair with a whuff. This was real. Expecting something similar hadn’t prepared her as much as the flippant answers pretended.
“If we go back, neither of us have a future, Michael. The FLF has gotten too much information and too many weapons. No one trusts each other. The military is infiltrated. You could be shot down or fly a plane that is rigged. Heck, your plane could be remotely flown into a target. There is not going to be a winner in this battle. Just a lot of deaths.”
“Punishing you for asking too many questions is the last sign I needed ... if I needed it.”
“So what do we do?”
“You could take Byran up on his offer.”
Arinna swayed bac
k in her chair, nearly tipping over. “You knew? I thought I had good contacts ... is there anything about my time here that you don’t know?” The anger was misplaced, but it still ticked her off that he’d kept her watched.
“It took some time. Byran was out of sorts enough after the ball that he eventually moaned to someone. No names, of course. If you hadn’t been avoiding him, I might have said something.” He watched her steadily. “That doesn’t answer the question. Do you want to take Byran up on his offer?”
“No, Michael,” she answered, blinking tears out of her eyes. “I love you, not him. I want to be with you.”
Relief took the tension out of Michael’s frame. He reached across and she gave him her hand. “Good,” he said, and then laughed.
“So where does that leave us? Going back and getting killed?” she asked.
“Do you think Eldridge’s offer is still open?”
“Work at NATO? I’m not certain ... I could find out. We’ll be considered traitors.”
“Dear, I think you already are.”
—
They couldn’t tell anyone of their plans. They packed and said goodbyes as if planning to return. For the last week, Arinna took part in military training trials at the gym. They were not the only ones going home. The embassy would be emptied to a bare bones staff. Many nervous faces hurried down the hallways or woke at dawn to go to the gym to build muscles gone flaccid with days spent filing paperwork at desks.
Avoiding Byran was the most difficult part. Between his offer and their friendship, Arinna didn’t trust that Byran wouldn’t sort out they weren’t going home. So after talking it out with Michael, they decided she would tell him a few hours before they departed. She simply had to put him off till then.
The embassy remained in a heightened security state, which kept Byran out. She left at odd hours, spending as much time on the grounds as she could. She didn’t answer his calls. Finally, she sent a note to his house. Arinna left Michael to finish loading their bags and walked for the last time through Madrid to meet Byran at a park. He was waiting for her, pacing his agitation off in quick bursts.
“Arinna, thank God, you can’t seriously be going back there?” He searched her eyes, holding onto her arm as if afraid she’d walk away.
“No. We aren’t going,” she said.
The anxiousness drained out of Byran. He pulled her down onto a bench, holding her hands. “We? So Michael is staying too?” Arinna rolled her eyes. “How? The embassy will round up stragglers. I’ve seen the orders.”
“We’ve seen them too. I took a job with Eldridge on the UK Defense Council with NATO. He’s made arrangements to get us to Brussels tonight.”
“Eldridge? You can’t be serious. He is unscrupulous ... he doesn’t care about you! He will use you to get himself a promotion.”
“Fine! I don’t care if he is using me, just that he is helping us stay.”
“I could help you,” Byran said, gently touching her cheek. “You know I would help you.”
“And Michael too?” Byran glanced away. She kept him from trying to come up with an answer. “Byran, I can’t be with you.”
“Why? Because you are married? Arinna, I care about you and want to be with you. I think you care about me.”
“I do care ... but not enough. Not enough to tolerate who you are, your little affairs, how you flirt with every girl. We wouldn’t last and I’m not going to lose Michael for that.”
Byran stared at her. “I want to make up for that night. I realize it bothered you, but you’ve kept avoiding me. I—”
“Byran, no. You don’t even understand why it bothers me. How can you make up for that? How will you know not to do it again? Michael and I are leaving. I’m here to say goodbye.”
“You are making a mistake.”
“Maybe. But I’m avoiding several others. Seriously, Byran, how could you see us working out once your desire is filled? Is there anything beyond that for either of us?”
“Let me fight for this. I have tried to win you!”
“Win me? Do you think you could win me? How? You have a job you got through your family, one that I don’t think you show up for but to pick up women. You have no idea what it means to be faithful. I would never betray Michael. And even if that weren’t so, what have you ever done to recommend yourself to me? Why would I ever choose you?” She shook her head, tossing away the idea she had of a tearful and sweet goodbye. Things with Byran never went as planned. “Goodbye, Byran.”
Arinna left without looking back.
Stirrings
March 2056
“She left! I offered her everything and she walked away!”
Byran spun on his heel a fraction too close to the table. A chair crashed sideways, its legs tripping him. Derrick laughed harder. Byran ignored him and the fallen chair.
“I don’t know what else she wanted. She won’t return my calls.”
Derrick laughed so hard that he wheezed.
“It isn’t funny!” Byran shouted, sending the words flying with a sweep of his hand. He hit the wine bottle, spinning it in haphazard circles across the table. Somehow it stayed upright.
“It sounds like you’ve finally experienced the treatment most of us get. Which is about time, I might add. Please, this is the first woman who has denied you anything. That is all that has your goat. She won’t submit to you.” Derrick chuckled again, waving Byran’s angst away.
Byran’s pacing ran out of fuel. He stared out at the moonlight rippling across the Mediterranean waves. Six months ago he had been here with Arinna, dining with her on some dignitary’s yacht. She would like this view. Dios, it hurt. Her absence pained him almost more than her dismissal. He’d shed the ache that filled him like an unwanted skin if he could. But all he could think about was the near kiss when she had almost admitted she was his. What had gone wrong?
Byran turned back to the disheveled room, righting a chair to find a place to sit. Derrick heaved with silent laughter. “No. She is different. This is different,” Byran told his oldest friend.
Derrick finally sobered, laughter dying so that he sat up from the bed and returned Byran’s gaze.
“One of the last things she said to me was that she would never betray her husband,” Byran said, snorting in memory of the nights Arinna had spent with him and away from Michael. Not once did she mention her husband’s name. Not then.
Byran swiped up a glass of wine that had survived his pacing. “And even if that weren’t so, what had I ever done to ‘recommend myself to her?’“ Saying those words shot the pain of that moment through him again. He heard the phrase in her voice, sky blue eyes distant and cold as she stared at him.
Byran downed the wine, spinning the empty glass in time with his thoughts.
“You love her,” Derrick said, voice split between incredulousness and support. Byran didn’t answer. “Did you at least tell her that?”
“I think so,” he finally replied.
“Well, making sure would be at least one place to start.”
“She won’t answer my calls! How can I tell her anything?”
“She’s married, Byran. You should just forget her.”
Byran stared at his friend, too angry and scared to speak. He’d come to Derrick for help, not laughter and being told to forget her.
“Fine. Don’t forget her. Chase her across the planet if you like. Did she go back to the USA?”
“No,” Byran said, the truth catching in his throat. He didn’t want to tell Derrick that Arinna now worked for Derrick’s father. The irony of it would send Derrick rolling again. Byran was certain he couldn’t take any more amusement at his plight. “She took a job in Europe.”
“Well, at least you don’t need to bribe someone for a plane ticket over there. That place is a nightmare. So she turned you down and didn’t go back to a country shredding itself. Smart woman. I might like her.”
Byran sighed.
It took more wine and another hour before Derrick nudged
Byran out of his mood. Not by much, but enough to make him sociable for dinner. Byran picked through rice and seafood as the wine wore off, wishing he hadn’t let Derrick convince him to go out.
“That was the third, no fourth, woman to walk by trying to catch your attention. Your pouting is more successful than when you are trying to charm someone!” Derrick said, leaning back into his chair.
“What did they want?” Byran asked, glancing at his friend, and not surprised to see Derrick’s amusement. It disappointed him though.
“I think to cheer you up.”
“Hunh. Don’t imagine that would work.” Byran hadn’t been with anyone since Genevieve. She had been a celebration brought on by the giddiness of nearly winning Arinna. Love, was this love? If so he could see where Arinna’s American ideals would not have understood. The thought of her choosing Michael was driving him mad.
“So how long where you chasing this married girl? Two weeks?” Derrick’s eyes shimmered with laughter.
“A year actually.”
It was gratifying to watch Derrick tip his balanced chair, saving himself from a spill with a grab for the table. Along with the smile came a realization. Arinna was mad at him for his night with Genevieve. It bothered her.
“She said that I didn’t care as much as she’d hoped,” Byran said aloud.
“What?” Derrick asked. “When?”
Byran waved the answer away as he reached for his fork. “Doesn’t matter. I need to cut my visit short. I suddenly have an urge for a drive.”
—
Byran had imagined Arinna gone. She wouldn’t answer his calls. He had no address. She had disappeared. As he drove into Brussels, he realized how wrong he had been. Wrong about so many things.
First, he knew exactly where she was working and for whom. He could have made his journey very easy. He could have asked Derrick where his father’s offices were located. Heck, he could have asked Derrick to come along and get him in. But after his friend’s laughter, Byran didn’t want Derrick’s teasing-filled help. Seeing her again and saying what he needed to say was not something he wanted anyone else to have a part of.
