Just Shoot Me (Cowboy Way, #1)

by Becky McGraw

  Today he’d made it plain he didn’t want a relationship with her, but Tina knew he needed a friend. He needed one badly. She could be that friend, if he let her. He wouldn’t talk to his family, but maybe he would talk to her if she could find him.

  “Dean!” she yelled when she got a little deeper in the woods. Tina hoped he answered, because she wasn’t watching the woods, she was watching the path under her feet, what she could see of it, to make sure she didn’t trip or step on something. Like a snake.

  She’d call out again every ten yards or so, but there was no answer. At least the animals and bugs in the woods had stopped their night calls when she yelled. For a few minutes at least, she could forget they were out there. In the dark. Staring at her. Watching her as she did something stupid like walk in the woods to find a man who didn’t want to be found.

  Tina walked a few more minutes then a loud roar that sounded like a lion, cougar or bear, split the night. She must’ve jumped fifteen feet off the ground. Her heart shot up to her throat then dropped to quiver in her chest, and it didn’t beat again. Her breathing was short and erratic, as she stopped in her tracks to decide which way she should run. That roar came again, but this time it sounded human, and she thought it sounded a lot like a man yelling, “NO!”

  Dean. Tina tried to watch the path, but her feet took off running down the path. She ran until she had no breath left. Suddenly the full moon penetrated the blackness and the woods opened up to the clearing she remembered from their ride. She stopped there and looked around at the breathtaking beauty of the bluebonnet field and lake in the full moonlight. She scanned the area and finally found Dean sitting by a tree, hugging his knees and rocking like that was going to soothe him. Tina walked that way, and stopped beside him. He didn’t look up, he just kept rocking. She dropped to her knees beside him and put her arms around his shoulders to hug him. “I’m sorry, I get it now. I think everyone gets it.”

  His voice was a raw whisper when he finally said, “Just leave me alone.”

  “No, I’m not going to leave you alone. You need a friend, and you just found one. All of us want to help you.” There was no way in hell Tina was leaving him out here like this.

  “Nobody can help me,” he said, sounding so desolate Tina wanted to crawl inside his chest and hug his heart which must be bleeding.

  “We can if you let us,” she said softly, as she sat beside him.

  There was silence for a long, long time, then finally he said, “I’m going to lose my son.”

  “Not if you let us help you,” she said again.

  He turned his head toward her and when his eyes met hers in the darkness, she had never seen a man look so hurt, so hopeless. “I can’t afford to get an attorney to stop her.”

  “Use the money you got from selling the horses,” Tina suggested.

  “We’ll lose the ranch,” he replied quickly. “I’m not letting my family lose what they’ve worked for all their lives. My granddaddy left this ranch to my daddy. I’m not risking losing it to fight someone I should never have married in the first place for a child who isn’t mine.”

  Finding out that Jeremy wasn’t Dean’s biological son back there at the fire had been a shocker, but it explained a lot. But he didn’t know that for sure and it didn’t really matter. “He’s your son,” Tina said then his words came back to her. “You provide for him, put food on his plate, clothes on his back. And even though you don’t say it, it’s obvious that you love him.” Tina put her hand on his shoulder. “He is as much your son as a kid can be.” A thought hit Tina, and the question slipped past her lips. “Why did you marry her?”

  She couldn’t help but ask, because the woman she’d seen at that fire was not nice. There was nothing soft about her, and she just couldn’t imagine why Dean would even like her, much less love her enough to marry the woman.

  “She was pregnant,” he said and his words echoed through the woods, just like they echoed in her skull. “I met her at the Cowboy. We had sex and she got pregnant.” His shoulders stiffened then he added, “I did the right thing.”

  Tina’s heart flipped in her chest. Dean Dixon was a man who lived up to his responsibilities. His ex-wife had taken advantage of that fact, and had trapped him into marrying her when she got into trouble. He was a good man. A man who loved his son, even though he was stingy with the words. That’s why the thought of losing Jeremy had him upset enough to be out here in the woods screaming out his anger and frustration. He couldn’t just give up without a fight. It just wasn’t right.

  “Dean, you are a good man who’s gotten a raw deal. It’s obvious that you love your son, regardless of whether you were the one to get that conniving bitch pregnant. I’m not Laney’s mother, but I love her like one. I couldn’t imagine just sitting back and watching my sister hurt her without at least trying to fight her.” But it hit Tina right then that is exactly what she’d been doing for years. The determination to set her sister straight when she got home cemented itself inside of her. She was either going to love her daughter and be a mother to her, or she was going to get out of her life, and give Tina custody.

  “I’m worn out,” Dean finally admitted, and that’s exactly how he sounded. Tired. Defeated. Done. “I’m dried up in here,” he said and hit his chest with his fist. “I’m an asshole to everyone in my life because of it. Maybe everyone involved would better off if I just got in my truck and hit the road. If Cindy gets Jeremy that’s probably what I’ll do. Cord’s here with Daddy now, so they’ll be okay.”

  “Your family loves you, and they would be devastated if you left. Your son would be devastated. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, and if you just let her have him, Lord knows how he’ll grow up. He’ll think you didn’t love him, and gave him away.”

  He turned his face away to stare at the lake, and his voice broke as he said, “Probably better than being raised by a man who isn’t his father, and doesn’t have it in him to show him the love he deserves. I suck at being a father. My life sucks.”

  Dean sounded so defeated, Tina couldn’t stand it. Her heart bled for him. This wasn’t just a pity party, he had lost hope that things would ever get better for him. She put her hand on his face and made him look at her. “You can change that, Dean. That kid idolizes you. He wants to be just like you.” She smiled and ran her thumb over the rough beard growth on his cheek. “Know why he wanted Paulo to cut his hair today?” Dean didn’t reply, but he shook his head. “Because he said he wanted to look as handsome as his daddy did.”

  Tina felt his jaw tighten under her palm, then his lips opened and she heard the whisper of a breath that escaped from his mouth. She wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t felt the hot drop that hit the back of her hand. A tremor moved through him.

  He sucked in a shuddering breath, then before she knew it Tina was sitting on his lap and his mouth was devouring hers. There was desperation in his kiss, and Tina tasted it. It felt almost like he was trying to suck out her soul to console his own. She would gladly give it if he kept kissing her the way he was kissing her. Her own body was desperate to take him inside. To console him, to heal him, and to heal herself in the process. They could help each other forget what waited for them tomorrow. Tonight was the only thing that mattered.

  Tina moaned, put her arm around his neck and leaned into the kiss. Dean’s hand slid up her thigh, leaving a hot trail until it slid under her skirt and his hot fingers branded her as they dug into her ass to pull her closer. Dean held her to him and eased her to the ground.

  His hat tumbled off of his head, then he was kissing her senseless. She grasped at the buttons on his shirt with shaking fingers, and somehow she managed to undo them to the waistband of his jeans. She yanked the shirttail, then smoothed her itching palms up his heated skin to his neck. She felt his heart pounding there, almost faster than her own.

  With a groan that sounded more like a growl, Dean pushed his own hand under her shirt and cupped her breast, his thumb roughly stroked her
nipple through the thin material of her bra. Tina’s breath hitched and she arched into him, but his hard body pinned her to the ground. Suddenly he tore himself away, shrugged out of his shirt then she heard his belt buckle rattle, and the whoosh as he pulled it from the loops to toss it aside.

  “Get undressed,” he ground out, as he sat back to toe off his boots. He didn’t look at her, but he grated, “And throw that fucking jacket as far as you can. Don’t ever put it on again. It smells like him.”

  Lucky’s jacket. Tina forgot she’d been wearing it. Evidently Dean knew whose jacket it was, and he didn’t like it. “Dean, about Luck—“

  “Don’t fucking say another man’s name when I’m about to fuck you,” he said angrily. “Just get rid of the jacket.” She heard rustling, as he removed his jeans, then a rip. She glanced over there and saw he was rolling on a condom. Tina scrambled to her knees and pulled her shirt over her head. She unfastened her bra and tossed it aside. She shivered as the cool night air and his words hardened her nipples.

  He was going to fuck her. They weren’t making love. His words were so harsh, bitter, Tina had to wonder if his cheating ex-wife had done that to him before. Said another man’s name when they were making love, or about to. There was too much anger behind his words. But then there was so much anger and frustration inside of this man it kind of scared her a little.

  The black mood he was in tonight was extra edgy and dangerous.

  Tina didn’t have long to think about that though, or even time to take off her skirt, boots and underwear, because he shoved her back to the ground and covered her body with his. The scorching skin of his chest touched her breasts, and Tina rubbed herself against him, as his tongue invaded her mouth. Took control of her senses. Danced an erotic waltz with hers. And man, did this man know how to dance. His hand crawled down her thigh to lift her leg to his hip, and he nudged her legs wider with his body. She felt his hardness meet the barrier of her underwear and absorbed his frustrated growl into her mouth.

  She loved that sound. It was a wild, feral sound that told her he wanted to be inside of her as much as she wanted him there. Dean pulled back to kneel between her legs, staring down at her. Her eyes dropped to his massive erection then she dragged them back to his. His heaving chest and clenched fists told her he wasn’t happy. Leaning down, Dean shoved her skirt up to her waist then grabbed her panties in his fist. With one yank, he ripped them right off of her. She gasped and a chill raced up her body. Tina never had a man want to be inside her desperately enough to rip off her panties. This man was that desperate. And he wanted her. Now.

  Every ounce of moisture in her body pooled between her legs, and her inner muscles clenched as he laid back on top of her and lifted her thigh again. This time when the head of his hard cock met her wetness, his nostrils flared, his jaw tightened, then his eyes drifted closed as he sucked in a sharp breath. “God, let me go slow,” he mumbled under his breath, and she could barely make out the words of his prayer.

  The tension in his body relaxed a little, very little as his mouth found hers again. His kiss was slow and deliberate this time. Tina’s need inched up inside her. He lowered her thigh then pushed his hand between them. His fingers brushed through her folds to gather moisture. His breathing increased as he slathered her clit then made purposeful circles there. The fire of his touch set the kerosene of his kisses ablaze inside of her, and Tina whimpered as her hips found a rhythm with his hand and mouth.

  The first wave of her orgasm was fast and unexpected. It hit her hard and her heart took a giant leap in her chest. Their mouths parted, she turned her head to the side to clamp her teeth down on the scream that wanted to escape. Her body vibrated, and Dean leaned close to her ear. His hot breath teased her hair as he whispered, “We’re alone, buttercup. Let it go. Tell me if I’m doing this right. I’m a little rusty.”

  He increased the pressure of his touch, and dipped a finger inside of her. Her inner muscles clamped down, and her body went into erotic overload. Tina sucked in a gulping breath, her body tensed and the most incredible feeling overtook her. Overwhelmed by it, Tina couldn’t help but open her mouth to let it out in a scream that echoed through the woods. Her body shook uncontrollably, she floated toward the moon, her soul danced naked in the moonlight then drifted slowly back to earth.

  When she sighed and opened her eyes, Dean was staring at her. “So fucking beautiful,” he said and a tremor shook him, as he took her swollen, tender mouth in a punishing kiss. Her body was limp, but Dean sure wasn’t when he positioned his cock at her highly sensitive opening. He lifted her hips then his eyes met hers as he made one forceful push with his hips.

  Tina screamed against the stinging pain of his entry that mixed with the incredible pleasure of the stretch. Like she was grabbing for her next breath, her fists closed at her sides and she grabbed up fistfuls of pine needles and grass.

  His fingers dug into her ass as he stilled. “You okay, sweetheart?” he asked in that dark sexy growl that set every nerve ending in her body on fire. Tina wrapped her legs around his back, and pushed her hips toward him. She needed more now that her body was accustomed to him. She needed all of him. Wanted all of him.

  “More,” she begged breathlessly.

  Dean’s roar vibrated in her skull, his grip became almost painful on her hips, as he thrust again to embed himself inside her body. She wasn’t sure he was in all the way, but what she had of him was a lot. Maybe he was too large for her. She could barely breathe, she was stretched so much as it was. But it hurt so damned good. Better than ever before. “Oh, God,” she groaned, closing her eyes as her body twitched around him.

  She heard his labored breathing, felt the incredible control he was showing from the tension in his body. “Tell me if I’m hurting you. I’m trying to go slow, but you’re so tight. So fucking tight,” he said in a strangled voice, then a low-pitched groan reached her ears.

  “I’m fine,” she said, even though she wasn’t really. He needed this. She needed it too. Wanted it. “Fuck me, Dean,” Tina said, relaxing her body.

  Dean raised up a little, tilted her pelvis upward more, and the pressure eased. “That better?” he asked and she nodded. His breath rushed out, but he didn’t move again. He cupped her mound with his palm, and his thumb circled her clit. Moisture flowed through her body again, and she relaxed more and he pulled back a little and moved forward again making short strokes. His incredible cock brushed a spot inside of her. The same spot over and over. A long low groan built in her chest and worked its way past her vocal chords.

  “Oh, yes…wow,” she panted, as he increased his pace little by little, went a little deeper. All Tina could do was rotate her hips with him and hang on for the incredible ride Dean Dixon was taking her on. The ride of a lifetime. The best ride ever, better than any rollercoaster. She reached high to grab for the incredible orgasm building inside of her with each thrust he made. When it slammed into her, Tina crumbled into a million tiny pieces that splintered off in every direction. Like it came from the end of a tunnel, she heard Dean roar his own release as his fingers dug deep into her hips with his final thrust.

  When she found her breath, and the pieces of her mind, Tina opened her eyes. Dean was still inside of her, still hard. He was staring up at the moon, and she could almost see his heart beating in the center of his muscular chest.

  “You okay?” she asked in a raw whisper, putting her hand on his forearm.

  He nodded, but he still didn’t look at her. His grip on her thighs was so tight, her feet were going numb now. She unclasped her feet from his waist and laughed. “There’s not a damned thing rusty about you, mister. Did you um…”

  Dean looked at her then. “What do you think?” he asked and huffed out a breath, as he slowly withdrew and lowered her down to the ground. He pushed back from her and stood, then walked off into the woods.

  So much for cuddling, she thought, as she reached for her shirt and pulled it over her head. Typical man. In that department,
he wasn’t in any different league than any other man she’d been with. In other ways, he was in a whole different ballpark. Tina got to her knees and flinched, then crawled over to grab her skirt. Considering the kind of man he was, she shouldn’t expect warm and fuzzy from him. Dean Dixon just wasn’t that kind of man. He was about as cuddly as a porcupine.

  “Why the hell are you getting dressed?” he asked gruffly, stopping to stand by her, looking like a sculpted Greek god dressed only in the moonlight.

  “Well, we’re, ah, done, right?” Tina asked with a short laugh.

  A slow, sexy smile broke over the lower half of his face. Her inner muscles tensed. “Not nearly, buttercup. I have a lot of ground to make up. But we’re moving this party to somewhere a little more comfortable. I have a deer stand over there, and I always keep blankets up there.”

  “A deer stand?” she yelped. The only ones she had ever seen in magazines were up in trees. Tina did not climb trees. She didn’t like heights at all. But another round of what she’d just gotten from this man would definitely be incentive.

  “Mama’s got the kids all night, and I plan on getting my fill of you by the time the sun comes up. I don’t know when this will happen again.” He extended his hand to her, and she stared at it for a second, holding her skirt to her chest. His face fell, and dropped his hand to his side. Tina dropped the skirt to grab his hand with both of hers.

  Dean was right, in a few days she’d be back in Dallas, and he would be here. She was going to take advantage of the opportunity too.

  “Where’s the deer stand?” she asked and he finally smiled again as he helped her up. Dean dropped his arm over her shoulders and hugged her to his side, as he led her deeper into the woods.