Blackout (Lewiston Blues Series/Black Family Saga Book 2)

by Scully, Felicia X.

  I laugh, my nerves only slightly on edge as the needle begins to buzz again. “Glitter? You got a tattoo of glitter?”

  “It’s nothing,” Ross mumbles. “Fine, I guess,” he says to Hector.

  “Weirdest thing I’ve ever inked,” Hector says. “Pink and sparkly-looking, on a guy like Ross, is pretty weird. You know?”

  “Can I see?”

  Ross shifts in his seat. “You’re kinda busy right now, Blue. Don’t you think?”

  “I just want to see it.”

  “It’s no big deal. It’s just—”

  “Please.” Hector converges on me with the needle again and I grip Ross’s hand. “I need the distraction. Just stand in front of me.”

  He sighs then lets go of my hand and gets up. He walks to the opposite end to stand at my feet and slowly pulls up the side of his shirt.

  “Come closer,” I say.

  He sighs but obeys, holding his shirt in place.

  On his ribs, just underneath his armpit is something that makes me flush from head to toe. The letter S surrounded by what looks like…

  “Sparkles.” I murmur. He doesn’t respond. “When did you get that?”

  “A while back.”

  “May last year, wasn’t it?”

  Ross shoots Hector a glare and he presses his lips together in amusement. “Was drunk as a skunk, came in talking about how he screwed it all up and he never wanted to forget it.”

  “I wasn’t drunk.”

  “Yes you were.” Hector laughs. “Drunk on something anyway. Love maybe?” He laughs again. “‘I don’t know, Hec,’” he taunts. “‘I never felt like this before. It’s those eyes those goddamn blue—‘“ Hector pauses, glancing up at me briefly, at Ross, then back down at the needle in his hand. He clears his throat. “Uh…I could do something like that for you if you want. Around your sister’s name. Could mix in some white and yellow to make it look shimmery too.”

  I smile, my gaze fixed on Ross’s tattoo. “I don’t think I could stand the pain. But I like yours, Ross. It’s nice.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbles. He drops his shirt and reaches for my hand again.

  I look back up at the ceiling, biting down hard on my lip to quell my goofy grin.

  Sparkles. For our entire summer tour that’s what the guys called me. I hated it. It was a stupid nickname Ryan made up and was completely humiliating when they used it in public. But it obviously meant something to Ross. I obviously mean something. Not that I didn’t know it before, but knowing without a doubt is always better than assuming.

  “Almost done, sweetheart,” Hector says as the gun buzzes again “Just sit tight.”

  “Does it still hurt?” Coco asks.

  We’re sitting in the living room. I’m stretched out on the sofa, while she’s lightly trilling a familiar song across the piano keys.

  “No,” I reply. “It’s mostly healed now. It stopped hurting after the first two days. The scab’s almost completely gone too. And you know what’s weird? I want another one.”

  Coco laughs. “Oh, god. He’s created a monster.”

  She may just be right. As much as I’ve always admired Roscoe’s ink, a part of me always thought he was little insane for putting himself through that over and over. During the actual process, I swore to myself it would only be a one-time thing, but now all I can think about is where I’ll put my next one and what it’ll be.

  Coco starts to hum along and I roll onto my side. “What is that? That song you’re playing?”

  She stops mid-note and swivels on the piano bench. “In Peace.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Ross and Luke’s In Peace?”

  “A slower version anyway, it’s been in my head all week.”

  “Cool,” I lie back down. “It sounds nice.” I smile. “You should have heard Ross play it at Chagrin’s. Singing all by himself like that. I know it was hard but he sounded amazing.”

  “So I heard.” She gets up from the piano bench. “How’s Luke doing anyway?”

  “Not sure. I haven’t really gone to see him.”

  “How long’s he in for again?”

  “Another eight months.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. Ross says he doesn’t want to fight either. Guess it’s the guilt.”

  “And the grief.”

  I nod.

  “Are you doing any better?” Coco eases onto the chair next to my feet and I place them in her lap. “Cole told me about last week.”

  I suck in a breath. I’ve been trying not to think about it. But the image of those mossy gravestones and looming archway comes racing back. I close my eyes for a moment. “I’m okay, I guess.” Then I peer toward the end of the sofa and our eyes meet. I know what she’s going to ask before she says it.

  “Have you talked to your parents?”

  I shake my head, the onslaught of tears surprising even me.

  “Oh, honey. I’m sorry.” Coco rubs my leg. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “No. It’s not you.” I sniff. “It’s not that.” I clear my throat and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. “I know I have to go back and face them, but I’ve been trying not to think about it. There’s a lot of stuff to deal with and I’m not sure I’m ready.”

  “Stuff like what?”

  I start to trace my tattoo with my finger, familiar with the pattern, the loops and dips of Shannon’s cursive. “I didn’t tell you before,” I begin. “Because I didn’t want to think about it. But…” I sigh. “Shannon wrote me a letter before she died. She asked me to do something for her.”

  Coco’s brown eyes are wide with anticipation. “What? What did she ask you to do?”

  “She wants me to take care of her kids,” I say. The statement doesn’t impact her the way it I expect, so I hold her gaze and say, “Like, raise them.”

  Coco’s mouth parts. “Oh, my god. Are you serious?”

  I nod.

  “Are you going to do it?”

  I shrug. “I mean, yeah. I think. I don’t know. I’m…terrified. But she seems to think—she thought I was capable. She named me in her Will. She wrote me a letter. I wanted to say no. It was my first instinct. But…I don’t think I can.”

  “What about Luke?”

  I hadn’t even considered Luke’s role in all this. “I don’t know. I assume he knows but…” I frown. Shannon asked Dave to step in but she definitely couldn’t have known Luke would end up in jail within weeks after she died. What does that mean for Luke? “I don’t know,” I answer my own question, my mind racing now. How will he react to this? How will Ross?

  “You okay?”

  I nod. “Um, yeah. I’m just a little spooked. It’s…a lot to take in.”

  “So if you’ve already made up your mind to do it, what’s stopping you from going home?”

  It’s a good question. And ever since I read that letter I’ve been asking myself the same thing. There’s no reason I can’t just pack up my things and face my new reality. There’s nothing holding me here. Except for Ross. If I go home, I leave him behind and I’m not sure I’m ready or willing to do that. I want him. Drunk, sober, happy or sad. I need him.

  My stomach flutters at the thought and I pull my feet back, hugging my knees. If I tell him I’m leaving, he’ll understand this time. He’ll probably even encourage it. Then what? We go back to the way things were? Back when he didn’t know my name let alone the fact that we’d share two life-altering years together?

  “It’s Ross. Isn’t it?”

  I don’t confirm her assumption but I’m sure it’s written all over my face.

  “Have you talked to him?”

  I shake my head. “I like what we’re doing,” I admit. “But I’m still confused. I’m pretty sure there’s something there. It’s all in the way he touches me. Like sometimes he’ll just hold my hand out of the blue, or play with my hair the way he used to. But then when we start to get too close, he’ll just pull away. He says it’s because he wants me to concentrate on getting better but it�
��s almost like he’s scared he might get in the way of me choosing to go home. Which is sweet because it proves that he really does want what’s best for me. But, at the same time, if what’s best for me means leaving him behind, I’m not sure I want to do it.”

  “What do you think is best?” Coco asks, her tone tentative.

  I sigh, dropping my chin to my knees. “I know I should go home,” I answer in a whisper. “But if I do, everything changes. Going home means I have to accept life the way it is. Without my sister.” I swallow the growing lump in my throat. “And without him too. I don’t want to do that. I know it sounds stupid. But, Coco, if I go back and do all the things they want me to do, I’m not just giving up Ross, I’m giving up hope.”

  “Of what?”

  I close my eyes. That she’ll come back. The dreams stopped when I gave in and went home last time. She stopped visiting me in my sleep. It’s all becoming more real. It’s not that I don’t know my sister’s dead. I just don’t want to accept it. If she stops coming around in my unconscious, I’ll have to let her go forever.

  “I don’t know,” I respond. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

  “If you mean giving up hope on you and Ross, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. You live in Washington, Sheila. Not Canada. You used to come to Lewiston every weekend back when we were in high school. It’s less than an hour away. It is possible that you can go home, do what Shannon wanted and still be with him.”

  Even though she’s way off base, she has a point. One I never considered until now. The whole idea that I have to choose him or my family is almost ridiculous. Coco’s right. We can be together no matter what. I’ve been so used to spending every moment with him, waking up and seeing him every day that I’ve somehow equated that to being the only way we could ever have relationship. But it’s simply not true. We could make it work. He’d probably even be okay with the whole Dave thing. I mean it’s not like Luke will be in jail forever. We can definitely make things work. As soon as I tell him how I really feel.

  I reach over to give my best friend a hug. “You’re kind of a genius,” I say. “I think that’s why I love you so much.”

  Coco giggles. “Why thank you. Now. We need to start planning for your big date.”

  “It’s not a date, Coco. He’s just taking me to the opening. As a friend. As part of this Get Happy thing.”

  “Whatever you want to call it, it’s going to be a pretty big night. And I think maybe it’s the perfect time to do what you wanted to do since you got back to Lewiston— figure out where you guys stand. Because you and I both know you’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Ross

  I’m reluctant to accept the call but I know I can’t avoid him any longer. I haven’t seen my brother in weeks or talked to him in days. And I know why he’s calling; he wants an update. I hold my breath and press number one on the keypad.

  I let out the breath slowly as the operator connects our call.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Luke.”

  “Hey. What’s up? Can’t seem to reach you these days.”

  “I was just…uh…headed out. Sorry, man. I’ve been busy with the club. Maya’s going all out, calling me every minute of the day. You thought she was needy when we were dating? I think I’d prefer that over this.”

  He chuckles. “It’s cool. I know you can’t put your life on hold for me. I wouldn’t expect you to.”

  But I would. I’d do anything. I rub my forehead urging the feelings of guilt not to seep through my conscious. Not now.

  “How’s Ray? Any news about Mariah?”

  “Yeah…um. They’re good. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. But uh, it’s…I…went to see Pete Warren.”

  “Warren the lawyer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “About?”

  I lower my voice, glancing behind me. “I’m gonna come visit you this weekend and we can discuss it then, okay? Don’t worry. It’s good,” I say. “Real good. I’ve got everything under control. But right now I gotta go. I need to meet Maya in ten.”

  “Okay,” Luke says, slowly. “I’ll talk to you soon then?”

  “For sure.”

  I replace the phone in the receiver and take a deep breath. I’m dying to tell him the good news. According to Pete, getting sole custody of both kids might not fly. But, depending on how the club does, with my new job prospect at Berklee and my record with Luke, the judge may agree to joint temporary custody. At least until Luke comes back. It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s better than nothing. As long as those people don’t have the right to keep me from my family, it works for me.

  “What do you have under control?” I jump, turning to see Sheila standing in the kitchen archway.

  “What?”

  “You said, ‘I’ve got it under control, don’t worry about it’.” She bites her lip, and shakes her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You just—you look a little flustered. What gives?

  “Yeah.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own and I hope she doesn’t notice. “No. It’s just stuff about the club.”

  “Oh, no. Is everything okay? Maya didn’t change something again did she?”

  “No. Everything’s fine. We’re still on her hyper-speed schedule. As of tomorrow night The L will officially open.”

  “I can’t believe you guys pulled this off. Or that she named it that,” Sheila adds with a laugh.

  “I can. She’s been on my ass 24/7. Plus her dad’s got a million and one connections. Practically all of Lewiston’s going to be there—despite the fact that I am too. Imagine that.” I open the fridge and reach for a beer. “I’m just glad this phase is over.”

  “You’re a bone fide business man,” she says with a wink.

  “I guess I am.” I lean up against the counter, taking in her presence. She’s dressed in sweats and a tank top again. The sweats rolled up to her knees and folded down at the waist. Her tattoo is completely healed now and looks so sexy scrawled across her chest that way. She’s been talking about getting another one, and if it weren’t for her having to eventually go home, I’d encourage it. But I get the feeling more ink would do more harm than good. She walks into the kitchen, her arms up in the air as she piles her damp hair on top of her head.

  “So, you know Gina’s?” I ask.

  Sheila frowns.

  “That salon and spa down on Southway.”

  “Oh, yeah. I went there with Coco once.”

  “Well, the owner is Hector’s wife.”

  “Really?” She’s bent over in front of the refrigerator and I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t driving me crazy.

  I take few quick swigs of beer as I contemplate something just a little bit stronger. The struggle to keep my hands off her is getting harder every day. She’s getting more and more comfortable here as the days go by. Not that she wasn’t before, but it’s different now. Now that she’s not crying and self-medicating every second, it’s almost normal. Like she belongs here. And I miss being able to touch her. I miss pulling her into my arms on a whim or dragging her up to my room for a couple of hours, or just laying out on the living room floor, playing Crazy Eights and staring into those sapphire eyes while she talks my ear off. She belongs here with me. I’ve never been more sure of that but at the same time I know she can’t stay. Even if she wanted to, I’d have to convince her to leave. The story of my life. But if it’ll make things better for the people I love, then it’s worth it. Any sacrifice is. I could spend forever trying to make up for my past and I probably never will.

  “Ross?”

  I blink, focusing my attention on her again. “Yeah?”

  “I said, why do you ask? About Gina’s?”

  “Oh, um, well, since tomorrow night’s the opening Gina offered to take care of you, if you want?”

  Her face brightens and my chest flutters.

  “Really? Like—”

  “
Hair, make-up and stuff. She even said she’d throw in a massage and paint your nails and shit. And you can bring Coco if you want. I figured it’d be a nice treat. A chance for you to get all girly and stuff. It’s been a while since you’ve done that. Not that you don’t look good now. I mean, you look good in anything, but I don’t know, I figured it’d be nice.”

  I’m not prepared for the way she throws her arms around me or for how my body instantly reacts. I don’t think she is either. I hug her back, holding her close for a little longer than is necessary. When she finally pulls back, she stares up at me and I have to bite my tongue to stop from kissing her.

  “Ross.” She licks her lips.

  Her face is still so close and I can smell my shampoo in her hair and the scent of Irish Spring wafting off her skin. “Yeah?” Her gaze is still locked with mine, the imprint of her palms and fingers on my neck burning hot.

  “Thanks for being here for me. For everything. You’ve always been my angel. Giving me what I need, right when I need it.”

  Goddamn. I clear my throat. “It’s no problem. We’re friends. I’d do anything for you.”

  “I wish I could do something for you.”

  Shit all. I drop a kiss on her forehead and close my eyes as I murmur against her soft skin. “Just be happy, Blue. That’s all I want—to see you the way I remember.”

  She sighs. “I don’t think that’s completely possible but I’m grateful to you for trying.” She pulls back again and tilts her face to mine. “I need to talk to you about something. Something serious.”

  “If this is about you going home. I understand and I won’t try and stop you. It’s where you belong, after all. At least for now.”

  “And then what?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You said, at least for now. What happens next?”

  I shrug. “I wish I knew. But we’ll figure it out. We all will.” I kiss her firmly on the cheek, letting her go. “Right now, you need to got get dressed. I just saw Coco outside. I told her about the spa and she said something about new outfits for tomorrow. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a long day of shopping ahead of you.”