“Thanks for letting me off the hook on that one, Cedar. Hey, I’d like to hire a sitter for Joey and take you out again, just the two of us. What do you say? Could we do that soon?”
“Well, yes,” she said, averting her gaze from Mark’s. “Soon.”
“When?”
“Let’s see how Joey does Friday night, shall we? If he falls apart, he’ll need you to stick close for a while. There’s no way to predict how he’ll do during the holidays. It’s all wait and watch.”
“I get the drift.” Mark paused. “What are you doing for Christmas?”
“I don’t…really have…any plans,” Cedar said, straightening some papers on her desk that didn’t need straightening. “My parents are going on a cruise, but I prefer to stay in Phoenix, because Christmas is a difficult time for some of my clients.”
“Oh. Well, how about spending Christmas day with me and Joey? Just don’t expect me to prepare a turkey dinner. I could whip up barbecue chicken, though. I’m getting to be a real pro at that one.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mark. You and Joey need to establish some traditions that belong to just the two of you.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “We’ll start a tradition of inviting someone over on Christmas to share the day with us. How’s that?”
“I give up,” Cedar said, laughing. “Yes, thank you, I’d be delighted to spend Christmas day with you and Joey.”
“Good. That’s good.” Mark nodded. “Hey, Moose told me that he and some buddies of his are going to buy your house.”
“Yes, I was stunned and grateful. Now I have to settle on where I want to go, how large a house I want, and on and on. I want a fenced-in backyard with a tree for shade, and I’d like to be fairly close to an elementary school so that…” Cedar stopped speaking, hoping that Mark hadn’t really picked up on the last of what she said. “I just have a great many decisions to make fairly quickly, that’s all.”
“Back up,” Mark said, frowning. “Why do you want to be close to an elementary school? Is Oreo the wonder cat going to enroll?”
So much for wishful thinking, Cedar thought.
“I read somewhere,” she said, scrambling for an explanation for her slip of the tongue, “that being near a good elementary school increases the resale value of your home.” Not bad, she thought, considering she was winging it. “Yes, that’s what I read.”
“That’s a matter of opinion,” Mark said. “Anyway, you haven’t even bought a house yet, so why discuss selling it?”
“You’re right,” Cedar said.
“Moose said he’s in no hurry to close the deal and told you to take your time deciding what you want to buy,” Mark said. “That’s good advice, Cedar. Don’t rush. Take it slow and easy.”
And maybe, he thought, lightning would strike and Cedar would realize that she was in love with him, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and would move into the huge house he already owned. Right. And maybe he’d win the lottery and become an instant millionaire. Hell.
“Why are you frowning like that?” Cedar said.
“I’m hungry,” Mark said. “I frown a lot when I’m hungry.”
“Well, our session is over for today, so—oh, wait, there’s one other thing. Are you aware that schools close for the holidays? There’s no reason for you to know that as I doubt they’ve sent a note home from school with Joey yet. I just thought I’d mention it. I suppose he’ll have to spend those days at day care because you’ll be working.”
“I’ve already covered it,” Mark said. “Joey will go to day care in the morning, I’ll knock off at noon, then we’ll have the rest of the day together. Between Moose and Jeff as my foremen, all of Chandler Construction’s jobs will be covered and I’ll be available in case of an emergency.”
Cedar leaned forward. “You’re going to work half days during Joey’s entire break from school?”
“Yep,” Mark said. “I told you that I finally understand that some things are more important than working ’til I drop so I can salt money away. It will cost me bucks to pay Moose and Jeff extra to pick up the slack for my not being there, but so be it. Joey needs a father more than I need the money.”
“You’re wonderful,” Cedar said, awe ringing in her voice. She blinked. “What I mean is, that’s wonderful. It’s an especially beneficial schedule because of Joey’s emotional state at that time.”
Mark frowned. “You’re doing your shrinky-dink thing, Cedar.”
“I know,” she said, sighing. “Ignore that last part. Just know that I think you’re…well, you’re a very special man for what you’re doing for Joey. Very special.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll drive to your house on Friday night and we’ll leave from there for pizza and the shopping spree. Does six o’clock suit you?”
“That’s fine,” Mark said, getting to his feet at the same time as Cedar. “And give some thought to us going out for the evening alone, okay? I know, I know, it depends on Joey’s emotional state, but at least think about it.”
“I will.”
“If you’d like me to check over a house you’re considering buying, I’d be glad to do that for you. Can’t have you getting another monster to maintain,” Mark said. And he could manage to slow things down considerably by finding a whole bunch of stuff wrong. “Yes, ma’am, I live to serve.”
“That’s very kind of you.” Cedar smiled. “Of course, if I buy a house built by Chandler Construction, I won’t have to worry about anything being defective. Will I?”
“No,” Mark said, inwardly sighing. Damn.
“Well, until Friday night then. Have a good week.”
“Why can’t we see each other before then?” Mark said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Cedar laughed. “You look like Joey trying to con another cookie. I have a very busy week ahead, Mark.”
“Well, hell, I tried.” He started toward the door of the office with Cedar following behind him. “You know, you might consider trying your own advice on for size.” He stopped and turned to look at her. “I’ve cut back on my work hours because you made me understand that I was operating at an extreme level, but you’re no slouch yourself in that department. You ever tally how many hours you put in during a given week, Cedar? Do you think maybe you ought to lighten up a tad? More than a tad even.”
“I’m not the one who became an instant father,” she said. But I’ll definitely be cutting back on my work hours when I become a mother to Faith Cedar Kennedy. “There is that fact to consider, you know.”
“Yeah, but I still think—”
“Uncle Mark?” Joey said, standing in the open doorway. “Are we done now? My stomach gobbled up the snack Cedar let me have and I’m hungry again.”
“That’s an amazing stomach you’ve got there, buddy,” Mark said, laughing, “but I could use some food myself. Say goodbye to Cedar.”
“’Bye.”
“Goodbye, sweetie.” Cedar smiled at Joey. “I’ll see you Friday night.”
“’Kay,” Joey said. “I’ll start the list of the tons of stuff we need.”
“Cool,” Cedar said.
“Way cool,” Mark boomed, then winked at Cedar before he and Joey made their exit.
A heavy silence fell over the office and a shiver coursed through Cedar as she stood still, staring at the door that had closed behind Mark and Joey.
She loved them both so much, she thought. She loved Mark as a woman loves a man, and Joey as a mother loves a son. But they weren’t hers to have. Not now. Not ever.
But, goodness, there was no reason to feel sorry for herself. She was going to be a mother, have a daughter to love. She and Faith and Oreo would be a family, a wondrous family.
But when Cedar started back toward her desk, she hesitated, then turned to look at the doorway one more time.
Chapter Twelve
When Cedar arrived at Mark’s on Friday evening, she, Mark and Joey burst into laughter as they looked at one another. They were all wearing jeans and red sweater
s.
“I thought I should look festive since we’re on a Christmas mission tonight,” Cedar said.
“That’s where my head was, too,” Mark said, grinning.
“This is so cool.” Joey gave a happy giggle. “Like we’re going to get our picture taken or something. A family photo op.”
“Photo op?” Mark said, with another burst of laughter. “That’s pretty high-tech jargon there, buddy.”
“My friend, Robin, says her family always dresses the same for the picture for their Christmas cards and her dad calls it a family photo op. Since we all have red sweaters on, we could get a Christmas-card picture taken, too.”
Out of the mouths of babes, Mark thought. But a family photo op wasn’t in the cards for this trio.
“That wouldn’t be possible, Joey,” Cedar said.
“Why not?” Joey asked.
“Well…because Oreo isn’t here wearing a red sweater,” she answered quickly. “Now then, who’s ready for pizza?”
“Me!” Joey shouted, the family portrait already forgotten. “I’m hungry. My stomach is caving in just like Uncle Mark’s does when he’s starving.”
“Then let’s rock and roll,” Mark said.
Man, he thought, Cedar sure was good at whipping right out of any reference to all of them being a family. Oreo wasn’t there in a red sweater? Geez.
They’d consumed an extra-large pizza with a multitude of toppings and a frosty pitcher of soda before arriving at the nearest mall to find a line of children waiting to sit on Santa’s lap to whisper what they wanted on Christmas morning.
“You’d think Christmas was next week,” Mark said, glancing around at the holiday decorations. “Look at the crowds already.”
“Merchants stretch it out as long as possible,” Cedar said, nodding. “It’s no wonder that little kids think the big day will never arrive. They’ve been hyped for several weeks.”
“Yep,” Mark said, then shifted his gaze to Joey. “We didn’t discuss a tree, Joey. I’d prefer to get an artificial one because real trees dry out fast here in Phoenix and are a fire hazard. That work for you?”
“’Kay.” Joey shrugged. “Fake trees look as real as real trees. That’s what my…my dad always said.”
“He was a smart man, Joey,” Cedar said, smiling at him warmly, “and you obviously take after him.”
“Uncle Mark is smart, too,” Joey said. “If he was a dumb-dumb, he wouldn’t be able to build cool stuff. Are you going to get one of the houses Uncle Mark builds, Cedar?”
“I’m thinking it over,” she said, “but right now let’s concentrate on our assignment. Lights for the tree. Do you want all one color, or a lot of different kinds, like a rainbow?”
“A lot of colors,” Joey said. “Now, this is ’portant. Some of the ornaments should be fancy glass ones, some should be wood, and some should be made by me out of paper. My mom said she liked mine best.”
“I’m sure Cedar and I will like yours best, too, Joey,” Mark said, ruffling the child’s hair.
“Maybe,” Joey muttered, staring at the toes of his shoes.
“Joey,” Cedar said, hunkering down to look into his eyes, “if you’re missing your mom and dad right now, that’s perfectly understandable. If you decide at any point that you want to go home, then we’ll go. You’re in charge of this expedition, but it can be done a little bit at a time if that’s easier for you.”
Joey nodded slowly. “’Kay. I was getting really sad, but now I’m better because I’m the boss of the shopping. Let’s get going.”
Cedar rose and met Mark’s gaze over the top of Joey’s head.
“You saved the day again,” Mark said. “You are so good at what you do, it must be very rewarding. I guess that’s why you’re focused on your career, instead of wanting a family of your own. Right?”
“No. Yes. No.” Cedar threw up her hands. “Never mind.”
“Come on,” Joey said, tugging on Mark’s hand.
Mark looked at Cedar for another long moment, then allowed Joey to lead him to a store with a twinkling Christmas tree in the front window. Cedar followed.
Inside the store, Mark picked up a plastic basket and Joey began to place ornaments in it after giving each a careful scrutiny.
Cedar stopped in front of a small tree that had been decorated with a baby theme, ornaments printed with the words Baby’s First Christmas, rattles, booties, teddy bears, tiny angels sleeping on a sliver of moon, ABC blocks and on and on.
She smiled as she looked from one ornament to the next, envisioning Faith, who would be old enough by next Christmas to be enchanted by the lights on the tree and the brightly colored packages beneath. The baby would no doubt be crawling by then, maybe even attempting to take her first steps, and would have to be watched every second to be certain she didn’t treat herself to an early Christmas by tearing the wrappings from the presents.
These ornaments were darling, just exquisite, Cedar thought, as she looked at a sleeping baby with sugar plums and candy canes depicted above her head.
She was going to come back to this store on her own and buy some of these ornaments to tuck away for next year when Faith—no, that probably wasn’t wise. She was getting ahead of herself again, just as she had when she settled on a name for her…for her daughter.
She had to stop this foolishness, she admonished herself. Nothing was certain until Cindy signed those papers. So, don’t think about the baby tonight, not tonight, she told herself. She was here for Joey. And for Mark.
Mark stood several feet away from Cedar, watching her intently as she looked at each and every one of the baby ornaments on the miniature tree.
Baby ornaments? His heart began to thunder in his chest as he looked at Cedar’s flat stomach, then at the soft smile on her face. Hot damn, was Cedar pregnant with his baby? Was that why she was enthralled with the display?
He’d protected her when they’d made love, but those gizmos weren’t one hundred percent perfect. Accidents happened. But, oh, man, if Cedar was carrying his child, it wouldn’t be an accident. It would be a blessing, a…a fantastic gift.
They could be a real family, Cedar and him as husband and wife, father and mother, Joey their son, the baby their…daughter. Yes, a girl, a baby girl. Oh, yeah, and Cedar’s weird cat that needed a red sweater.
Slow down, Chandler, he ordered himself. Just because Cedar was smiling at baby ornaments didn’t mean she was pregnant, for crying out loud. He was getting carried away with—
Cedar splayed a hand on her stomach.
That cinched it, by damn. It was true. Cedar Kennedy was pregnant with his baby. Maybe. Oh, he hoped it was true. Their baby. This was wonderful, just—
“Uncle Mark?” Joey said, distracting Mark from his racing thoughts. “Are you listening to me?”
“Oh, sorry, sport. There’s just so much to see in this store, it’s hard to take it all in. What were you saying?”
“I like this wooden train ornament,” Joey said, holding it high for Mark’s inspection. “’Kay?”
“Sure. Plunk it right in the basket with the others. You’re making some great choices.”
“I know,” Joey said, puffing out his chest. “I’m good at this stuff and—” He stopped speaking and walked slowly away.
“Joey?” Mark said.
Cedar came to Mark’s side. “What’s wrong, Mark?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Joey was all jazzed up, then he suddenly went pale and headed toward that table over there. I’d better see what’s going on.”
“I’ll come with you,” she said, frowning.
When they reached Joey, Mark saw that he was staring at a display of snow globes. Joey’s bottom lip was trembling and tears had slid onto his cheeks.
“Joey, honey?” Cedar said, bending over and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “What is it? What upset you, sweetheart?”
“My dad took me shopping for a Christmas present for my mom last year,” he said, his voice t
rembling. “I picked a snow thing just like that.” He pointed with a shaking finger. “The one with people skating on the ice. My mom…my mom said it was the best present she ever got, and she didn’t pack it away with the Christmas stuff ’cause she wanted to see it every single day of the year and…” A sob caught in his throat.
“What a lovely memory,” Cedar said gently. “I know you feel sad right now, Joey, but if you think about it, it’s one of those special moments to tuck away in your heart.” She paused. “You know, it might be nice to have that snow globe in your bedroom. Not to make you sad when you look at it, but to remember how happy your mother was when you gave it to her. What do you think?”
“I wouldn’t have to pack it away with the Christmas stuff?” Joey said, with a little hiccup.
“Not if you didn’t want to,” Cedar said.
Joey looked up at Mark.
“It’s up to you,” Mark said. “Whatever you decide is fine with me.”
“But it costs bunches of money,” Joey said.
“That’s not important,” Mark said. “What matters is you. Remember, Joey, your mother was my sister and I miss her, too. We could both look at the globe whenever we felt like it and smile because we’d know she was so happy when you gave it to her. What do you say?”
“Well…” Joey said, then sniffled. “Yeah. It wouldn’t make me cry like right now when I saw it. I’d smile at it. And sometimes, like you said, we could look at it and smile together. Right?”
“Right,” Mark said, his voice raspy with emotion.
Joey nodded slowly. “’Kay.”
“Pick the one you want from the boxes at the bottom of the display,” Mark said.
Joey scrutinized the selection of globes, picked one with skaters, then wrapped his arms around the box tightly, hugging it to his chest. “Can we go home now?” he said. “I gotta find a special place for this in my room.”
“Sure,” Mark said. “We’ll finish up another time.”
Home Again Page 14
